Champ-Slain Mimos-AH!

By Patti Larsen

Becks is forced to spend a weekend with her family on a rented yacht on the eve of her brother’s wedding. And while she loves them all dearly, she lives far away from them for a reason. But when one of the guests for the coming nuptials turns up dead, she’s no longer focused on her own rocky relationships and the mess of her past, but on the fact that she can’t reach the mainland, the boat engines are damaged and the rest of them are now trapped with a killer on board...

• Language: English
• Publisher: Patti Larsen
• Release date: Oct 30, 2023
• ISBN: 9781998948161

Patti Larsen

About me, huh? Well, my official bio reads like this: Patti Larsen is a multiple award-winning author with a passion for the voices in her head. But that sounds so freaking formal, doesn’t it? I’m a storyteller who hears character's demands so loudly I have to write them down. I love the idea of sports even though sports hate me. I’ve dabbled in everything from improv theater to film making and writing TV shows, singing in an all girl band to running my own hair salon.But always, always, writing books calls me home.I’ve had my sights set on world literary domination for a while now. Which means getting my books out there, to you, my darling readers. It’s the coolest thing ever, this job of mine, being able to tell stories I love, only to see them all shiny and happy in your hands... thank you for reading.As for the rest of it, I’m short (permanent), slightly round (changeable) and blonde (for ever and ever). I love to talk one on one about the deepest topics and can’t seem to stop seeing the big picture. I happily live on Prince Edward Island, Canada, home to Anne of Green Gables and the most beautiful red beaches in the world, with my pug overlord and overlady, six lazy cats and Gypsy Vanner gelding, Fynn.

Book preview

Champ-Slain Mimos-AH!

Canary Key Cozy Mysteries: Six

Smashwords Edition

Patti Larsen

Copyright 2023 Patti Larsen

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Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, please return to the vendor and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

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Chapter One

More champagne!

Rhea did not just say that to me like I was the help. My sister even snapped her fingers. At me. My little sister who I helped raise had the nerve to order me around.

Never mind I was behind the bar where I’d retreated almost immediately upon our arrival on board, or that I’d stayed here, hiding out from my family since then. Or that there wasn’t anyone really equipped to handle bartending aside from the boat’s owner, a task Steve Landon seemed all thumbs at when he tried to show me where everything was.

None of the above were good enough excuses for the middle child of the Hogan family to turn into an utter snot.

Becks, please. My sister leaned across the bar, her brown eyes that matched our mother’s rimmed in fake lashes (what the what?) and cleavage showing as she showed off her brand-new black bikini under the rather revealing gauze shirt she was using as a cover-up. We’re drying out up there. I thought you were good at this or something.

You’d be proud of me. I didn’t immediately bean my sister on the top of the head with said champagne bottle. Nor did I pitch her over the side of the yacht she and her husband had rented for the long (I stress the word on purpose) weekend to prove to the rest of us just how much better they were. More capable, Rhea had told me when she’d stepped off the firm’s private jet (she’d just made partner, how special) and waved her designer manicure in my direction, of treating our little brother to the wedding rehearsal of a lifetime than I was.

Instead, I shoved a bucket of ice toward her. Help yourself, I said. Through clenched teeth. Barely holding onto my temper.

She might have been Cooper, Callighan and Grint’s prized litigator who’d just brought over fifty million into the company coffers thanks to a giant win in court, but she was still my sister, and no way was she getting away with that kind of behavior.

Oh, are you wondering how I knew about said court case and just how sparkly it made her with her new partners? No, I wasn’t stalking my sister’s career. She told me. Told all of us. Not just once, either. In fact, I’d been in Rhea’s company for all of four hours and she’d managed to slip that bit of info in at least half a dozen times.

I wasn’t going to make it to Monday. And I was pretty sure I wasn’t the only one.

Rhea slipped on her sunglasses even though we were inside and looked at me over the rims with a look of disgust (that I assured myself she would no longer be wearing in five, four, three) when she spoke. What am I supposed to do with that?

Choke on it. Drown in it. So many rude options, honestly. Thank goodness, someone else interceded before I could come up with something even more colorful.

That someone was Mom, appearing as if by magic, though more than likely she’d come looking for us because she might have fallen apart when Dad died and left me at fifteen to take care of this very arrogant piece of work that I regretfully called my sister, but she knew Rhea and I were oil and water at the best of times.

Thank you, Rebecca, dear, Mom said, taking the bucket with its ice and bottle of expensive champagne from the counter, fake smiling at both of us in turn, tone just bright enough she knew exactly what she was doing. Rhea, can you help me serve this?

My sister snorted and tossed her long, dark hair, spinning and heading for the door to the aft deck. You have it, don’t you, Mom? And then she was gone, and I was very firmly stacking glasses that didn’t need to be stacked before starting in on chopping citrus that might not survive the experience.

She’s just excited, honey, Mom said, sighing as she set the bucket back down and faced me over the bar. It’s not every day your little brother gets married.

Don’t even start, Mom, I shot back. You know very well this has nothing to do with Gray. Because this was hardly Rhea’s first time doing her best to show up the rest of us, from her ambitious career choices to marrying her husband, Howard, ten years her senior and already a judge to going on about the perfection of her twin girls, her awesome life, how utterly amazing she was.

The knife in my hand cut through the edge of the board beneath the lime I was slicing so deeply that I had to jerk on it to pull it free. I looked up and met Mom’s sad eyes, dark like Rhea’s but human, at least before setting the cutting tool carefully aside and stepping away.

I’m sorry, Becks, Mom said. This was a terrible idea. She glanced back over her shoulder at the exit, the open ocean visible on the other side past the railing of the aft deck. I just…

Mom didn’t deserve my temper. I circled the bar, the shining mirrors on the far side giving me a headache as sunlight reflected from the surface, the very bright white interior of the saloon at the far front of the yacht making me nervous in its strident perfection. Drinks and things that stained didn’t go well together, so whoever designed the crisp leather sofas and stainless-steel details had no clue that drunk people on a boat on the ocean meant more mess than any beach-side bar could generate.

And my bar made a mess, believe it.

She hugged me before I could raise my arms, grabbing me the moment I reached her side. It’ll be fine, honey, she said, trying that almost piercingly happy tone with me again, worry in her eyes. You’ll see. She patted my shoulder and let me go. Why don’t you come out and sit on the deck with us. I’m sure that lovely young woman who brought appetizers can make a few drinks.

I hadn’t said an official hello to the staff yet, though I had caught the thumbs up from the Latino girl when she saw me mixing earlier, having met her yesterday via Pika Sato at Off Key.

I’m good, I said, crossing my arms over my chest and leaning back against the bar. "And no, Mom, everything won’t be fine. This was a horrible idea, and someone is going to end up dead." Okay, that was a nasty thing to suggest and considering my track record since moving to Canary Key, a bit of a jinx. I winced as Mom’s attempt at a smile fell away, though not because she now looked hurt.

I just wanted to have a chance for the family to get to know Kiki. My brother’s fiancé was a bit of a mystery to me. I’d talked to her once before now, in the two weeks since Mom called to tell me they were all coming, and why. A visit turned into a wedding rehearsal party which turned into a long weekend trapped on the waves thanks to Rhea’s need to show off.

I know, Mom, I said. That was really nice of you. Grumble.

I’m just sorry that your new boyfriend couldn’t join us. She squeezed my hand while I grimaced. And held back from telling her there was no way on God’s green earth I was going to let any of them anywhere near Jamie Borden in the near future, if ever. The fact the retired Navy SEAL and Chicago police sergeant and I were still deciding what we had between us wasn’t going to be served by my family making him uncomfortable. As a matter of fact, I’d firmly told him to stay away from the dock this morning when I’d herded the ones I loved (snort) onto the Wave Maiden and left for three days of misery.

They can’t be that bad, he’d said last night as I paced my kitchen over one last beer together, agonizing over the mass arrival.

You have no idea, I’d groaned. Please, just do me this favor, okay?

To his credit, it wasn’t Jamie who I spotted loading tourists onto the recently renamed Deep Blue See jetty, but one of his staff, so he’d done as I asked and that might just earn him enough points for me to decide boyfriend was the kind of label that I was willing to use to describe him.

Maybe. We’d see.

Is he happy, Mom? I hadn’t had a chance to talk to Gray. Every time I called him, he was either busy or only had a second and though I adored my little brother, I also worried. He only avoided me like that when he knew I was going to disapprove of what he was up to. Gray had a tendency to jump into things that didn’t work out and while Mom and Rhea were the kind of understanding that bordered on the coddling, I was the one who usually ended up having to bail him out.

Marriage wasn’t something I could help him with. Ultimately, it was going to be up to him, and maybe that was for the best.

He seems to be. She linked arms with me while I took the bucket