How To Lose A Black Woman

By H.D. Campbell

Bruce Williams feels truly blessed.  He is a college educated young man with a career he loves.  He has amazing friends and looking from the outside, has a perfect life.  Asking Bruce, he'll say he was incomplete without a special woman in his life to love and spend his life with.  After a few failed attempts the traditional way, he starts using Social Media and dating sites to find his true love. How To Lose A Black Woman is a semi-autobiographical look at relationships and how one wrong turn could destroy one.  Through an uncomfortable search, he eventually finds someone who could be his true love but an argument about an ex and the wrong decision causes his world to spiral out of control.  He learns a lot about himself and his relationships along the way.  He uses the short window of time he must fix what was broken before the relationship is deemed beyond repair. This book personifies a few of the aspects of the modern relationship from Bruce's point of view.  Filled with original poetry, Bruce journals his mission as a teaching tool for others.  He's not perfect nor does he make himself out to be.  His journey is all his own right or wrong and he takes his adventures as a learning experience. While it's a good story about one aspect of the human spirit, the lesson isn't for everyone but everyone can see at least a small part of themselves in the book. (Third Printing)

• Language: English
• Publisher: Hard Drive Publishing
• Release date: Oct 16, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223870579

H.D. Campbell

H.D. Campbell has been writing all of his life and has over thirty years of experience in the writing industry with his first book, How To Lose A Black Woman (second printing published in 2018) and his book took off from there. In addition to starting this Paranormal Romance series, H.D. Campbell has three more series under his belt: Contemporary Romance titles including How To Lose A Black Woman (currently on sale) and Geraldine (second printing coming soon); Mystery/Suspense including Late Murder @ 10 (currently on sale) and Garth The Virtual Killer (third printing coming soon); Espionage Thriller including The Sergeant Wiseguy Chronicles (second printing coming soon) and The War-Hawk/Biological Threat (second printing coming soon). To learn more about his books, his editing business or his shows, please log on to www.hdcampbell3.com and the Hard Drive Publishing website is coming soon as well.

Book preview

INTRODUCTION

Bruce Williams is a successful college educated African-American man with a good life.  He has great friends, a solid career and an amazing gift of poetry. The one thing missing is a woman to love.  A life partner whom to share his life with.

Bruce sought dating sites and social media as part of his search. During his search, he will soon learn that true love does not include instructions with some assembly required.   

Sometimes we act in desperation instead of being patient and allowing time and God to be a part of the plan.  This leads to mistakes and bad decisions.  Will Bruce make his decisions based on desperation or will he stick to the plan?  

In addition, you will meet a few of Bruce’s friends who rely on Bruce for advice on a lot of subjects key to this book and future books.  In addition to his adventures in love, Bruce’s poetry and prayers throughout the book provides him and his friends motivation.  Journaling his entire process, Bruce takes us on his own personal journey throughout.

Will he find her?

HOW TO LOSE A BLACK WOMAN

I am a black man who can use and abuse;

And that's okay with me!

I will cheat and milk for all I can get!

One way to lose my black woman.

I will beat you up and slap you down!

I will father your babies and run away!

Babies popped from New York to California!

And I don’t give a—.

I will sex you and won’t promise marriage;

Because you'll keep giving me your wet wayward love.

When your weight gains and that booty shrinks, I'm gone like the wind;

As your beauty fades, I will too!

I won't keep a job; and don’t ask me to help around the house

Because I can and will be irresponsible!

I will manipulate the soul of your mind and heart!

And that's how I will lose my black woman!

And what does God say about all this?

This is not what He made me to be.

Our partner, she should be honored!

She was put here to be honored by me.

The touch of her black skin;

The power of her black soul!

The top of her head to the bottom of her feet;

She is my powerful black QUEEN!

Instead, we turn you are our slaves and sexual playthings;

Pieces of property and minor inconveniences...until I’m ready for you again!

But God has a better plan for us both,

To be joined in perfect harmony.

Who are you to disrespect my black woman?

The queen of my existence!

She is someone's black mother...

Someone's black daughter...black sister.

Who are you to disrespect our black sisters?

The ones who bore our children,

Cooked our meals,

And kept our too-cool selves out of trouble!

How to lose a black woman?

Just keep talking that trash driving her away!

To gain a black woman...

That's to honor one of God's greatest creations.

THE BLACK WOMAN!

'Nuff Said.

PROLOGUE

Bruce Williams

Going to work feels good but coming home feels even better.  I love my job and my twenty-five kids but when Friday at five o’clock gets here, it feels good to be childless again.

On Fridays, I take off my teacher hat and spend Friday nights out with my boys.  I enjoy that time because we get to talk smack with my friends, drink a little bit and possibly get to meet a female or two.  Our favorite place is Blank Space on Cherokee Street.

Blank Space is owned by our boy Robert Byrdsong.  We all of us went to high school together.  Even though it’s been 25 years, we still get together like we ever left. Robert is a former Marine who opened this club featuring local bands, comedians and other talent.  Happily married with four kids, this man has been a cut up since high school and he still is now.  I want to be happily married like him when I grow up. 

The only married in the crew.

I try to make as many of them as possible.  Many times, we just come out and sit with him and his crew and catch a local band or two while we talk smack.  In high school, he was the one who got all the girls but he never used his powers for evil.

At six, one, two hundred twenty-five pounds, he’s always a loyalist then and he’s one now.  Married to the lovely Anonda for about ten years now.

The club itself is a small intimate place where many of us can get together and just be ourselves.  One day I’ll be bringing the love of my life here to get to know everyone.

Next, there’s my boy S.W.  He’s the smooth talking mack of the group. He works for the government but can never really disclose what he does. Let me find out he’s on some James Bond mess. Like me, he’s six foot even with a few muscles, short haircut, and short mustache.  I know his job has him traveling because he’s absent from most of these Friday nights.  It’s good just to have him here for tonight.

Next there’s my boy Mark Alexander, a crime reporter for the St. Louis Post. In addition to covering all the violence in St. Louis, he also gets the big cases throughout the city: the serial killers, the kidnappings, and the occasional organized crime cases.  He’s about five-ten bald and is so smart he doesn’t miss a beat.  He’s very observant when it comes to everything else except when it comes to figuring out females.  He’s my backup advice guy who’s serious when it comes to his grind but when it’s time to have fun, he lets loose.  Also, he’s the designated driver because for some reason alcohol doesn’t affect him as it does us normal humans.

Then, there’s my best friend Andre Johnson.  He’s a double threat within himself.  By day, he’s a child abuse investigator for the State of Missouri and after he clocks out, he’s St. Louis’ self-proclaimed most notorious player.  He’s the Yang to my Ying.  While I want to settle down with a wife and children one day, he lives in the moment claiming to never want to settle down.

Being a player gives him a chance to blow off steam after a long day of work.  He investigates some of the worst cases of child abuse.  He’s been on the job for over seven years and within those seven years, he’s closed the most cases.  While he achieved work success, he admits that the cases can get depressing and letting loose after work is his only outlet.  Though I do one day want him to settle down, I don’t bother him about his player mode.

Being six, four and muscular because he lives in the gym, Andre is built like John Cena.  His hair is waved and he’s medium brown skinned with turquoise eyes.  Between his eyes, his build, his condo in Clayton and his fully restored 1974 Coup Deville, Andre attracts more women than all of us put together.

Tonight, I took a break from being out with my boys. I needed a night to myself with my feet up, feeling my blessings thus far. First my wonderful studio apartment in the Central West End. I could have chosen a bigger place but, it’s just me for real and I don’t take up that much room. I make decent enough money and I’d rather throw that into savings rather than more room somewhere else.

Then there’s my Bachelor’s Degree in education from St. Louis University which led to my teaching job at Holy Rosary Catholic School where I used to be a student. God is good.  I am a seventh-grade homeroom, Religion and English teacher.  I have twenty-five of the best kids around though they can be a challenge sometime.  Don’t let the term Catholic School fool you.

The only area I’m lacking in is finding that special someone to spend the rest of my life with. I feel this is the only area in which I have yet to be blessed in. I mean I have a problem finding dates.  It’s trying to find someone to settle down with long term in the problem.  Either I’m too picky or I just haven’t found her yet.  I know we all have some baggage, but I tend to find the women with the going around the world luggage.

Andre said I act like Eddie Murphy’s character in the movie Boomerang.  Now while I’m into women with nice feet like the character, but I am realistic to know there are no perfect women.  There is just a woman who’s perfect for me out there.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’ve had a ton of relationships some good, some bad.  Some I messed up and some were messy on the female’s part. I’m just chalking it up to experience in my love search.

Every night, I chill with the Quiet Storm on my stereo or some of my Spotify account love mixes on my PC and TV fantasizing about my future true love. Luther, Teddy P., Whitney, Patti, Ready For The World, Jodeci, New Edition and more inspire me to not only find my ladylove but to also help me to become a better person myself for her.

I’m not picky.  I want a clean woman who knows how to take care of her feet.  Just like a woman judges a man’s cleanliness by the shoe he wears, I look at the quality of a woman’s feet.  If a woman doesn’t take care of her feet, it’s an indication that she doesn’t take care of herself because even the busiest woman takes good care of her feet because she likes to look nice.

She doesn’t necessarily need to have a college degree, but she needs to at least finish high school and be able to carry a conversation.  I love to talk about a wide range of subject from movies to politics and more.  My conversations can go from the most serious to the super funny.

My friends try to flood me with tons of advice and some of it is cool.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t know everything.  I just feel not all advice applies to me.  The advice I ignore include pickup lines, dumbing myself down, or walking and talking a certain way.  My high self-esteem prevents me from being someone I’m not.   

My outfits of choice are always either suits or casual wear from Men’s Wearhouse, Citi Trends, Milano’s Men’s Clothing and Marshalls.  My shoes are always either Nike or Stacy Adams.

I keep my clothes sharp, my looks and hygiene on point and my drama at an extreme low.  I don’t mind baggage, but some women have made me a party to the drama from day one.  I’ve had women who started dating me while neglecting to tell their significant others first. Other women wanted me to handle their family drama from day one or leave me to deal with it without all the information.

Nope, can’t do that.

We as men play games too.  We’ll say and do anything just to get between a woman’s legs.  I’m not saying sex doesn’t feel good, that shouldn’t be your only motivation.  What happened to being you lady’s best friend?  What happened to you being her strength?  Her shoulder to cry on?  These and many others are what we both need for a relationship to work.

I don’t know why any woman wouldn’t want to date me.

I have my own apartment my friends say I need to leave sometime other than just the weekends.

I don’t have a lot of the hang-ups women think we have.

I have no children other than my fourth graders...

I’m not on the down low...

I don’t have a criminal record...

I have a car....

And I have a steady job...

I don’t beat up on women and have no desire to cheat.  On the flip side, I would like a woman with some self-esteem.  While I don’t mind building up my woman, I would love for them to be completely over their ex before seeking a new relationship.  I have been in relationships with women who were still in love with their ex to the point where she was forced to choose.  I’d take the choice out of her hands.

I am a hopeless romantic nerd.  I’m a fan of class R&B songs for a reason.  Luther, Teddy, Barry, they all taught us about love in some respects.  For me, Luther taught me what romance and love truly is.

Love Is...

A wise man asked me to tell my version of what love is!

Love is when two people feel so deeply, actions express loudly!

Love is more than just the lustful element couples use as a disguise,

In fact, love is a true gift from above!

When two people love, they have feelings of joy and happiness!

They see no winter's moon or burned-out sun.

Love is the eternal flame which warms burning brightly!

Love is worth fighting for whenever the need!

A true gift from God given only to those who can handle it,

Shared intimately between husband and wife!

Shared publicly by walks and late-night strolls,

Love knows no time...no moment.

Love is more powerful than lust and anything lustful!

Love is sharing, commitment and, yes, hard work!

Only coming when the hard work is taken with happiness,

And that is my idea of what love is. . .

-Bruce Williams

Did I mention I also write poetry?  If not, there it is.  I just wrote this on the fly but with the Quiet Storm in my ear, here is another one:

The BODY of Love

The feel of her chocolate brown skin gives me a pleasurable sweet tooth;

To bite and nibble all of her sweet spots give my body a sugar high.

From her sweet-smelling soft hair to her cotton candy toes,

Her BODY is the ONLY candy store I’ll explore.

Her ever-loving passion is what fuels her chocolate power;

Her natural curves do the same.

Let my tongue be the feather you need to explore;

As I make my way through the sensitive hills, valleys, and mountain tops.

From your two Hershey’s Kisses to your powerful tasteful center;

I eat the chocolate and you get the rush.

Let my words, my tongue, and my moves enable you to sing;

A song of moans, screams, and yodels.

To be in love with such a heavenly body of flowing chocolate;

I will be nibbling all day and night.

Let me sample you so well;

You’ll explode in a pleasure of a powerful love no third party can break down.

Yes, sometime my poetry can go there.  It all depends on my mood does the words flow. I love sex, but it ruled my last few dates.  That’s why I put myself on a sex-fast.  Yeah, I said it.  I’m on a sex-fast.  I am celibate until at least a woman comes along that I’m feeling for real.

Some women are