Christmas Bride

By Marie Ferrarella

That's My Baby!

CHRISTMAS BRIDEHome for the holidays, indeed! Somehow, Toni had to pretend she and Derek were happily married. How could she tell sweet old Nonna they had really split up two months ago? And the bigger question: How could she tell Derek she was pregnant?

So here she was, stuck in a tiny bed with her soon-to-be ex, trying to find a way to tell him about the babyand trying to resist the man she had never really stopped loving. What she needed was a holiday miracle. Would the power of love deliver?

THAT'S MY BABY! Sometimes bringing up baby can bring surprises and showers of love!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Open Road Integrated Media
• Release date: Jul 15, 2011
• ISBN: 9781459280892

Marie Ferrarella

This USA TODAY bestselling and RITA ® Award-winning author has written more than two hundred books for Harlequin Books and Silhouette Books, some under the name Marie Nicole. Her romances are beloved by fans worldwide. Visit her website at www.marieferrarella.com.

Book preview

Dearest Reader,

Christmas has always been my very favorite time of year. Even the two Christmases when I was pregnant Or perhaps especially the two Christmases when I was pregnant. I felt very close to Santa Claus those times, although he got to carry his pack on his back and his was empty by the end of the evening of December 24. I was carrying mine in front and it was still there Christmas morning, as round and full as ever. Eventually, that roundness became my daughter, Jessica, and then four years later, my son, Nik—two of the most wonderful gifts I have ever been fortunate enough to receive.

So it is with full understanding and empathy that I can write about Toni and how she felt, pregnant for the first time and dealing with the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season. Toni is also forced to deal with an about-to-be ex-husband she has never really gotten over. How can she hope to keep her distance—and her secret—during the magical season of Christmas? The answer to that is the rest of the book, which I sincerely hope entertains you. If it does, it will be our mutual gift to one another, because every time I learn that I’ve managed to bring a smile to someone, it feels like Christmas to me.

I wish you a joyous holiday season. I’m already well on the road to joy myself. You bought my book.

Love,

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Chapter One

Dear God, what had she just gone and done?

Antoinette D’Angelo Warner stared at the telephone receiver just beneath her hand on the cradle. She had just lied to the sweetest little old lady in the world. Either that, or she’d made a promise that she hadn’t a prayer of keeping.

Cradling the telephone in her lap, Toni pushed herself deeper into the cushions of her sofa and sighed.

Well it certainly was the season for prayer, she thought. It was less than a week to Christmas, even though the Southern California weather just outside her window was warm and balmy. When she thought of Christmas, it never involved palm trees. It always brought up images of snow-covered pines and knee-deep drifts of cold, white powder, stinging cheeks and bright fires in a redbrick fireplace. Those were the kinds of Christmases she’d experienced as a child in upstate New York, where winter, like a long-lost relative, always arrived early and stayed late.

The past two months had been rough, and Toni had really been looking forward to going home for Christmas. Going home to her roots. Most especially, going home to her beloved grandmother. In a way, Nonna meant Christmas to her the way nothing or no one else ever could.

Toni wanted to be enfolded in that loving, soft embrace just one more time. Nonna had a magical way of making everything bad disappear. Problems, inadequacies, unfulfilled dreams—nothing seemed to matter whenever she was around Nonna’s wonderful, sunny smile.

Moving heaven and earth, Toni had arranged her schedule at the research laboratory so that she could take two weeks off and fly home. She had been just about to call Nonna with the news when Nonna had called her, beating her to the punch.

And sweetly, lovingly, blowing her completely out of the water.

Wrapped up in preparations and anticipations, Toni had been taken completely by surprise. But she shouldn’t have been. And it was her own damn fault.

She’d never told Nonna about the pending divorce.

She couldn’t.

The ebony coffee table, newly polished, bounced her image back at her.

Coward, Toni muttered to her reflection as she replaced the telephone on the table. She should have told Nonna right from the beginning.

But it had been so hard. She’d searched desperately for the right words and, in the two months since she had thrown Derek out and filed the papers, she hadn’t found them. How could she find the words that, gentle or not, would break Nonna’s heart? From the first moment Toni had brought Derek up to the house to meet her, her grandmother had been completely enamored with him.

Just the way she had once been.

Over the next year, while Toni and Derek were dating, Nonna had all but adopted Derek. All her conversations with Toni seemed to begin and end with his name and center around inquiries as to how things were going between them. Nonna, Toni mused, was a hopeless romantic who adored happy endings. And believed in them.

Nonna was eighty when they got married, and she actually danced at their wedding, leaning heavily on her grandson’s arm. It was difficult for her, but Nonna swore that the joy bursting in her heart negated any pain. She danced once with each of Toni’s brothers, and twice with Derek.

She started hinting about great-grandchildren a month into the marriage.

Well, at least she could use that as a Christmas surprise, Toni mused, mechanically cupping her hand about a belly that was as flat as the rink at the Ice Follies. It would be a hell of a surprise for Derek as well, if he knew. Her mouth curved with a tinge of bitterness. It would probably make him run to his lawyer and urge that the divorce be somehow sped up. As much as she wanted children, he didn’t. Something else she hadn’t known about him.

She fervently hoped that the good news would offset the bad for Nonna.

Toni could still hear the old woman’s whisper-soft voice in her ear, bubbling with quiet excitement about the coming holidays.

I cannot wait to see you and Derek. Toni’s mother had called earlier and told her that Nonna was ill. It was her heart. Fearing the worst, Toni had made the decision to come home for Christmas, even though she could hardly be spared at the laboratory. There might not be other Christmases for them to share.

But when Toni had asked about her health, Nonna had lightly shrugged off Toni’s concern.

What will be, Antoinette, will be. Her voice gained enthusiasm. But this I promise you—I am living for the day I can see the two of you standing before me, holding hands and making me feel young again.

Three times Toni had started to tell her grandmother that there would be only one of them standing in front of her. She hadn’t gotten beyond a sharp intake of breath.

Nonna had interpreted the sound as concern and laughed softly. Ah, Antoinette, the doctor, he tells me that my heart isn’t strong, but what does he know? I was an old woman years before he was even born. Seeing you for Christmas will be all the medicine I need. You and my handsome Derek. How is he, Antoinette? You have not mentioned him.

So what could she say? Could she tell Nonna that she didn’t know? That she hadn’t seen Derek for almost two months? Could she tell her grandmother the truth—that if she never saw that two-faced tomcatting womanizer again, it would be too soon?

No, she couldn’t say any of that. Instead, she’d said, He’s fine. Just very busy.

But not too busy to come, I hope.

It was her loophole, her one chance to save herself gracefully, and she had choked. She could have told Nonna that Derek was rarely home before evening, that building his practice was his driving concern and that everything else, including her, had gotten lost in the shuffle. That much would have been the truth, at least, for that was how it had been before she’d caught him in his transgression.

It was the perfect way out.

But she had gotten tangled up in the hope she heard in her grandmother’s voice and let the opportunity slip away.

Toni damned herself as she heard her own voice say, No, he’s not too busy to come. We’ll be there, Nonna. Derek wouldn’t miss seeing you for the world.

She’d said it because she knew that was what Nonna wanted to hear. She’d said it and instantly cast herself headfirst into a bog of quicksand.

We’ll be there.

The words mocked her as they echoed back in her head. Darkness crept into her small living room on large, woolly feet, blotting out chunks of light with it.

She felt as if the blackness was seeping into her soul.

We’ll be there. Yeah, right.

Toni sighed and restlessly dragged both hands through her mop of raven hair, at a loss as to what to do about the situation.

She knew her choices. It was either walk into Nonna’s festively decorated house and look into that sad little face when she told her that she and Derek were no longer living together, that they were getting a divorce, or…

Or.

Toni looked down at the telephone again. It seemed to have grown in size, like a demon in a small child’s nightmare. There was another way open to her. The ultimate sacrifice. It meant calling Derek and throwing herself on his mercy.

She’d rather eat nails. Rusted ones.

Your grandmother is very ill, Toni. I want to make this the best Christmas ever for her. Those had been her mother’s exact words. And all Nonna wanted for Christmas was to see her.

With Derek.

It was like asking her to perform her own appendectomy and then go out dancing afterward.

Toni chewed on her lip. If she asked him, he’d probably say yes. Derek really liked Nonna. He’d become genuinely fond of her when they lived in New York. They’d visited frequently, and when they had moved to California he’d been the one to suggest flying home whenever they could both manage it. It definitely wouldn’t be that difficult to convince him.

But that meant talking to him, and Toni didn’t want to. Oh, God, she didn’t want to!

Toni stared at the telephone again, a sinking feeling taking hold.

She really didn’t have a choice. She had to ask him to come.

Provided he could tear himself away from his sexstarved nurse, Sylvia, who conveniently doubled as a receptionist and a paramour.

The thought of the curvaceous woman who had once professed to be her best friend had Toni’s mouth hardening as the sting of hurt still vibrated through her.

Annoyed with herself, Toni struggled to get her thoughts under control. This wasn’t about her, this was about Nonna. About giving the sweet old woman what she wanted most. Toni’s determination strengthened as she visualized Nonna in her mind. She was going to let Nonna see her and Derek together even if it meant skinning him and wearing his pelt around her shoulders.

Still, when she began to tap out his phone number, part of her was hoping that she’d get Derek’s answering machine instead of him. Funny how his new number remained embedded in her brain, even though she’d seen it written down only once. Derek had given her the number the last time she’d seen him in case she ever needed anything.

What she had needed was a loving, faithful husband who’d be there for her, who wanted to be the father of her baby, not a gorgeous, six-foot-three, blond hunk who had an equally gorgeous woman stuck to his side. A gorgeous woman whose mouth was hermetically sealed to his. A woman who wasn’t her.

Toni burrowed herself farther into the cushions on the sofa with each number she tapped out. She was almost completely entrenched as her finger slid off the last button of Derek’s number.

It was ringing.

She braced herself, suddenly realizing that she hadn’t a clue as to how she was going to phrase this. She always sounded so squeaky on answering machines that—

Hello?

Oh, God, it wasn’t his answering machine, it was him! She almost dropped the telephone receiver as she scrambled out of the layers of cushions and sat up ramrod straight, a soldier facing a firing squad and wanting to make one last attempt at pride.

Derek?

There was a long pause on the other end of the line. Toni?

Why, after all this time and especially after what had happened, did the sound of his voice still send shock waves over ninety-eight percent of her body? Yes, it’s me.

Is anything wrong?

Derek wondered how he had managed to be so busy as to miss the news that hell had frozen over. That was the specific weather condition that was to have occurred, according to Toni, before she ever deigned to use his telephone number.

That depends on your point of view, Toni answered guardedly.

He heard that familiar. defensive tone in her voice. Same old Toni. He sighed. I don’t have a point of view about this, Toni. I just said hello. You called me, remember?

Her fingertips were getting clammy. How had she allowed herself to get into this? And now that she was into this, what did she say?

Half of her was tempted to slam down the receiver. She should have rehearsed this before she’d called. Or better yet, she should never have called. She should have had enough nerve to tell her grandmother the truth.

Too late.

Staring into the darkness, Toni forged ahead. It’s almost Christmas.

Yes, I know, I have a calendar. It’s one of the few things you let me keep. He couldn’t help recalling the scene when he’d last been home. She’d run out of his office, after cursing his lineage down through several generations. He’d finally disentangled himself from Sylvia’s grasping arms and hurried after Toni, to reason with her and calm her down. It was like trying to calm down an earthquake. When he’d reached home, he’d found that, like the hurricane he often likened her to, she had completely upheaved his life. His possessions, what little of them he had, were all strewn on the lawn in front of the house. It was her way of saying it was over.

She had stubbornly and staunchly refused to listen to anything he had to say in his own defense. She’d been judge, jury and executioner, convicting him on circumstantial evidence rather than believing in him. Trust had died that autumn day. But for it to have gone so quickly, he knew it had never really existed to begin with. And love had no breeding ground if there was no trust to make it fertile.

He still hadn’t gotten used to it.

Let me guess—for Christmas you want to pick up where we left off and argue again? I’m sorry, Toni, I’ve given up arguing for good.

He made it sound as if it was all her fault instead of his, but then, he’d always been good at twisting things around. What she had done had been completely out of character for her, but people did strange things when they had their heart run over by a tractor trailer.

Derek had actually tried to make her believe he was innocent. It might even have worked, but then Sylvia had come to her and confessed everything. In graphic detail. It left no room for doubts. Or forgiveness.

Nonna. Think of Nonna.

Summoning a calm she didn’t know she was capable of around him, Toni attempted to sound brisk. I didn’t call to argue. I have a favor to ask. She bit off each word as if it was dipped in lemon juice.

A favor?

The amusement she heard on the other end didn’t help. It’s not for me, Toni said quickly. She didn’t want him getting the wrong idea. It’s for Nonna.

Your grandmother?

His voice had taken on a softer tone. The soft spot in his heart for the frail woman was his one redeeming quality. There’d been a time when she thought all his qualities were wonderful. But then she’d painfully learned otherwise. And she’d grown up. Yes, it’s for my grandmother, Toni finally said.

The last time he’d seen Gina dePauli, she’d been a wisp of a woman in a fuzzy pink bed jacket, housed in a four-poster bed. She’d just gotten over a bout of the flu and looked very frail. The idea of a world without her saddened Derek immensely.

Was Toni telephoning about funeral arrangements? That would explain the sudden call out of nowhere. He braced himself for the worst.

How is she?

Not good. Toni could have sworn she heard a sigh of relief on the other end of the line. Or maybe it was impatience. He was probably dying to get back to his love life. My mother says that this is probably going to be Nonna’s last Christmas. Which is why I’m calling you now.

Toni licked her lips. Suddenly dry, they absolutely refused to moisten. As for her throat, the dust bowl could make a comeback there, she thought. She had to push the words out.

I’m flying home for Christmas. Her home, Toni clarified. Nonna’s old three-story house had always been home to her. She, her mother and brothers had moved in the year she had turned ten, after her father had left them.

She paused, temporarily out of steam and out of courage, waiting for Derek to take the hint and make an offer to come see Nonna with her.

Toni couldn’t be asking what he thought she was asking. That would have been wishful thinking, left over from a time when he had actually had great dreams for their relationship. Well, he wasn’t going to fall into that trap and be put in his place again.

Give her my regards.

Damn the coldhearted bastard. How could she have been in love with him once? He was purposely making this difficult for her. He knew exactly what she was asking. Nonna wants more than that from you.

Meaning? he asked cautiously.

If she had any sense, she’d hang up and forget the whole thing…Toni swallowed her pride for Nonna’s sake. It stuck in her throat as she made the request. She wants to see you.

Even though we’re in the middle of getting a divorce? But even as he asked, he knew it was typical of the woman. She might have been small in stature, but he had never encountered anyone larger than Gina dePauli in soul and spirit.

Toni really hadn’t wanted to get into this, but she knew that there was no recourse left to her. Curling her toes, as if that could help her brace herself for this, Toni began.

That’s just the trouble…

It came to him in a flash. You didn’t tell her, did you?

Her cheeks grew hot at what she took to be an accusation.

How could I? she demanded. For some strange reason, Nonna dotes on you. Once that had made her very happy. But that was when she had foolishly believed in wedding vows. If she knew what kind of a person you really were—

Derek felt his temper being nudged awake, but he held on to it. He knew that it would be far more irritating to Toni if he was just amused at what