Looking For Mom

By Rose Martin

The story is a memoir of a mother's struggle with domestic violence. In revealing the family's history, a mother's past somehow leads to her daughter's recovery.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Rose Martin
• Release date: Sep 27, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223887584

Book preview

Early Dawn

Moving spritely through her young uncles’ bedroom, Ada, a toddler of four years, reaches for the handle of an adjoining door. As she pulls open the bulky portal, Ada first hears the thump of Lana falling. Abruptly, she glares at her mother, both legs extended to the left of a swollen belly, who is sitting on the floor.

Ada’s shock propels her to turn and run. Two long dark-skinned talons of iron grip, lift the child high above the living room floor where she is carefully flung across to a nearby couch.

Ada watches the tall man, through the mist of a semi-sunlit room, bent over Lana as he holds onto a leather strap once used as his belt. Lana’s pregnancy is carrying Ricky’s first-born son, soon to reach full term in only a few months. And yet, Ada’s beloved, half-brother, yet to be born, is likely to retain the memory of his father’s drunken rage.

So, you think I’m you’re pimp as you look for new customers. Do you think I’m that blind, Ricky exploded? You’ll pay for your bull shit, you stupid bitch!

Ada heard the words, not understanding what they meant, except that Ricky’s voice was ferociously different from when he spoke and gave her nickels to play the juke box in the town’s local saloon. As she sat paralyzed in a straitjacket of terror, Ada watched two figures continue in their plight.

Ada raced back in her mind as she stretched out her hand waiting for the same man, now in the family’s living room, to grant her a new song. Why is he here, she thought. Why did he kick my mother in the stomach? I saw him do it as she’s still sitting down. It’s too terrifying to know the answer.

Ada then peered at Lana who continues to sit motionless. Why doesn’t she move; why doesn’t she cry, the young child thought. It’s too scary to know; please, how can I get out of here, she whispered to herself.

Lana sat stoically, A pimp, why that’s a compliment, you ass-hole, she mused. Best not to speak, she thought. Right now, the baby’s well-being is all that matters. Hopefully, he won’t be damaged by the kick, she silently prayed.

Lana reached back to a time when she dutifully prayed until the age of twelve. The early plea from her natural mother for Lana to help her was too painful to recall. It’s better to remain silent with a mad man in front of me than to bring up the past, she explained to herself.

As Lana lifted herself from the floor, Ada’s mental reins subsided; she leaped from the couch running quickly from the room.

Ricky gratefully dropped the weapon which became his belt again. He suddenly remembered a similar weapon used against him by his father. Slumping to the floor, Ricky slouched to one side in total exhaustion. Ironically, both he and Lana despised physical violence. And yet, most of their encounters (both sober and not so sober), ended in violence.

Ada reached the bedroom she shared with Gloria, her great aunt and protector. She raced to get dressed for soon her good pal, Gregory, would be ringing the downstairs door bell.

Lifting up the toy box lid, Ada retrieved two shiny cap guns to fill their respective waistband holsters, along with ample paper roll ammo she shared with Gregory. It was going to be a gung- ho day after all!

Labor of Love

Lana loved to paint both the inside and outside surfaces of the family’s house in Fresh Meadows, Queens. Ada, her daughter, was mesmerized by Lana’s strength, especially her relentless drive to whitewash the outside concrete