The Lips I Used to Call Home

By Taylor James

Scarlett Knick is in a happy and loving marriage to her high school sweetheart, Travis Knick, or so she thought. When she begins to suspect he is having an affair--with her best friend--Scarlett is forced to face the dark secrets that'd been kept from her. Moving forward after a betrayal of this magnitude seems impossible, but Scarlett is more determined than ever to take back her happiness and find her inner peace.

Falling in love after the betrayal wasn't in her plans, but when tragedy strikes, Scarlett is forced to pick up the shattered pieces again. Will she survive the familiarity of nursing a broken heart back to life? With a million reasons to crack and let the pain take her under, can Scarlett fight back up to the surface stronger than a nineties trend?

The Lips I Used to Call Home is a story about heartbreak, self-healing, and accepting the love you deserve after the unimaginable comes true. With a little help from cheap wine, deep soul-searching, and pulling on her strengths, Scarlett attempts to truly find love within herself.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Fulton Books, Inc.
• Release date: Sep 5, 2023
• ISBN: 9798887319650

Book preview

Table of Contents

Title

Copyright

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Epilogue

Acknowledgments

About the Author

cover.jpg

The Lips I Used to Call Home

Taylor James

Copyright © 2023 Taylor James

All rights reserved

First Edition

Fulton Books

Meadville, PA

Published by Fulton Books 2023

ISBN 979-8-88731-964-3 (paperback)

ISBN 979-8-88731-965-0 (digital)

Printed in the United States of America

For the Maroon Girlies.

This book is for anyone who's been through heartbreak and turned to Taylor Swift for comfort.

Prologue

She waited until I was asleep in the next room to fuck my husband. Her planning, waiting, and hoping had all come down to one thing: Get me drunk enough to fall asleep early.

I've had the same best friend since we were in middle school, Alice Coleman. Alice and I have been inseparable all these years, and it was safe to say that once I got married, she became best friends with my husband as well. The three of us began to do everything together—movie nights, daring new recipes, weekend trips away, and then we'd always end up drinking wine in my hot tub at the end of the night. Sleepovers and silly games consumed our weekends; group chats and FaceTimes were our daily routine, but there was only one thing that could tear us all apart.

My instincts told me that my husband, Travis Knick, the handsome blue-collar man that I'd been in love with for ten years, was falling in love with Alice right in front of my eyes. I gradually grew more concerned as time went on, days to weeks, weeks to months, letting the thoughts consume me until I sat down with Travis and expressed my deep-seated doubts. Of course, like any man would, he denied every single one of those doubts, Scarlett, you're the only woman I love. We promised forever, and I intend to honor that vow every single day. Travis shrugs off my concerns with one incredibly charming line, and for a long time, I believed him.

We used to be very in tune with each other's feelings and needs; we had a wonderful relationship and a great sex life. It didn't make sense that he needed to seek out other women's attention. Once I noticed he directed his attention more toward Alice, he pushed me so far away I could barely feel him anymore… It's a tale as old as time: A married man gets infatuated with another woman but can't be strong enough to admit the relationship is over. They do what they swear they're incapable of, what they promised to never do to the one they love—they cheat. Travis took the cheap and easy way out of our marriage, rather than discuss what made him so unhappy or what temptations he couldn't resist. He threw ten years down the drain for a quick fuck, bent over a barstool on a raw, rainy night. Not just any random midnight; it just so happened to be my twenty-seventh birthday, and the closest people in the world to me decided to give the worst birthday present I could've imagined. They turned our garage into a dirty mistress's clubhouse, rubbing their genitals together and hiding their affair for weeks. I wish I could say things only went up from there, but this is truly just the beginning.

My name is Scarlett Knick, and this is my story of betrayal, healing, and finding true love after heartache.

Chapter 1

It started off like any other Friday; Travis and I had weekend plans with Alice. After work, she'd be over, and we would drink whatever burgundy-colored wine she was currently obsessed with, cook an elaborately planned out dinner, and gossip about losers we went to high school with or dumb exes who can't catch a clue. That's what best friends do, right? Through ups and downs, love and heartbreak, job or no job, Alice was by my side for all of it. She was so similar to me; we seemed like we were cut from the same cloth. Her dark hair and chocolate-brown eyes matched mine, our sense of style so identical you couldn't tell who was who from behind. Casual and comfy. We shared clothes so often you could usually find her in a pair of my leggings or one of my husband's paint-stained work T-shirts that I wore to bed every night.

Travis doesn't usually work on Fridays, so we spent the afternoon running errands and planning my birthday celebrations. Driving around the curvy roads of Vernon, Connecticut, autumn leaves falling down around our car like pieces into place, Travis suggested we go to a strip club tomorrow night.

Seriously? I absolutely love that idea! I said excitedly.

He knows I like women. Who isn't a little bit on the bisexual scale these days anyways? As we filled Alice in on our idea through our group chat, we all agreed to spend the evening that I turn twenty-seven at a little hole-in-the-wall club called Lucky's.

Alice: You seriously have never been to a strip club before? Neither of you?

Scarlett: Nope! I can't wait gotta bring some $$$

Travis: Alice, are you sleeping over after the club tomorrow night?

Alice: I'm not sure yet. I might meet a stranger who wants to take me home LMAO

Travis: No strangers for you. You can sleep in our bed LOL

Alice: Okay, I'll think about it.

By the time Alice pulled into the driveway, admittedly, I was already a little bit drunk. Day drinking on a Friday wasn't my best plan, but Travis inviting Alice to sleep in our bed on my birthday and telling her she can't meet a guy really had its way of sticking front and center in my brain for the entire day. So I attempted to drown that out with a little root beer-flavored vodka.

Not sensing my frustrations and lack of response, Travis and Alice continued talking in the group chat for the entirety of the afternoon. She invited me out for a pedicure, but I declined because their conversating and light flirting made me anxious. I struggled with anxiety. I have for years but I finally opted to go on antidepressants and fix what is broken. It's worked wonders so far, but the familiarity of their friendship is always enough to send me spiraling into a panic attack especially when my concerns fall on deaf ears or even go completely ignored.

Slow down, Scar, you're gonna be black out before it gets dark outside, Travis told me as he wrapped his arms around my waist from behind.

I know, I know. I'm watching my limits with my medicine. I'm not having another drink until dinner, I promised, snuggling into him and feeling the warmth of his breath on my neck.

He spun me around and dipped down to give me two quick pecks, our thing since we began dating all those years ago, and ran out to help Alice get her things from the car.

Heyyy, birthday bitch! Alice screamed out upon walking into the kitchen, her arms full of groceries and wine.

Hey, bitch, what kind of wine did you bring this time? I knowingly asked, helping her set everything down before she shatters the cheap screw-top rosé she's been bringing for the last two weeks.

An extra big bottle of the Barefoot of course! Nothing but the best for our celebrations, she said, already grabbing her glass from the cabinet.

I can sense she was also in a day-drinking mood by how much pink wine she poured and the big swig she took from the glass while occupying her usual seat at the kitchen table.

So what exactly is this new recipe you found, Scarlett? she asked me.

I went on to describe this pepperoni-filled pastry shaped like a Christmas tree I was planning to cook when Travis joined us at the table, peeking at the recipe on my phone and downing a shot while I explained the tedious steps. He took only half of the nip of vodka, handing me the other half to finish, something else we've always done as tradition whenever we bought nips. I moved it off to the side, reminding him I planned to take it slow. We sat at the kitchen table for a while, chatting about whatever came to mind and playing a card game. Travis had taken his usual seat at the table, across from me and right next to Alice, inching closer to her the longer we all sat there together. Trying to ignore their flirty advances and all the times he's touched her in the last hour and a half, I decided it's time to work on my Christmas-themed dinner with no help from them. Instead they goofed around and began the play fighting they normally got into, drinking fast and barely checking if I needed help or bothering to include me in their conversations.

I found a half a nip on the counter, the third one I had saved up because of how quickly Travis was chugging them down tonight.

Scar, when's dinner going to be ready? Travis called out from the living room.

It'll be ready in ten! I told him, not bothering to check and see what they're doing alone together in there.

My anxiety was through the roof, and I could barely choke down the meal I made, let alone eat anything else that could prevent me from blacking out or passing out way too early, but now that I did try to fill my empty stomach, I poured myself a large glass of wine and chased that down with another nip. Using alcohol to cope with my reservations about my husband and best friend is not ideal, but it does numb the pain at the moment.

Chapter 2

The night went on and we all continued to drink, unaware of Alice's intentions. I told them I was ready to jump in the hot tub.

This hot tub was an impulse buy this summer, but it is my favorite part of our home. It sits covered on the back deck; the temperature was at a perfect one hundred degrees, just what the doctor ordered on this chilly Friday night.

Alice borrowed a bathing suit from me, and we all jumped in together, putting on some music and taking more shots together. Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood came on, and we belted out each lyric for the entire neighborhood to hear, throwing our heads back, laughing while Travis shook his head at us.

The neighbors are going to think we are insane! he yelled.

But we barely heard him as we finished out the final chorus to the classic breakup anthem.

Once we were done playing karaoke, I went inside to dry off and brought Alice her cigarettes and another glass of wine. Travis requested another shot, so I grabbed that as well while they stayed chatting in the hot tub without me, having some sort of splashing competition. Rolling my eyes, I headed back outside and handed them their things.

It's too hot out here, and I'm too drunk to stay in the hot tub. I'm going to brush my hair and get dressed, I told them, annoyed at the close proximity they were sharing again.

Are you sure, Scar? We're having so much fun. We can even play that Taylor Swift song you're obsessed with! Alice said.

Please, no. I can't do any more karaoke with you two tonight.

Travis laughed at his own little dig at us.

No, I should go in. Are you guys coming or staying? I asked.

They looked at each other and paused for a moment, and like clockwork, they simultaneously said, We'll be out in five minutes.

Taking my wine, I went inside and questioned my sanity for a good ten minutes, wondering if I'm making this scenario up in my head or if they really did have intimate feelings for each other when I heard