Short Tails: Chet & Bernie Short Stories

By Spencer Quinn

From Spencer Quinn, short stories in the New York Times and USA Today bestselling series that Stephen King calls “without a doubt the most original mystery series currently available.”

This collection of short stories of Chet the dog, “the most lovable narrator in all of crime fiction” (Boston Globe), and his human partner, PI Bernie Little includes: Upper Story, The Iggy Papers, and The Numbers After Two, plus a sneak peek at the next installment of the series, Bark to the Future.

“I have been a Chet and Bernie fan from the start. Chet is a wonderful narrator—top dog, you could say—but he never descends to cuteness, and Bernie is as tough a PI as Spade or Marlowe, a man as quick with his .38 as he is with a Slim Jim for his sidekick. I’m already jonesing for the next one.” —Stephen King

“Delightful…dog lovers won’t want to miss this one.” —Publishers Weekly on Heart of Barkness

“Would that we all were as infallible in our dogs’ eyes as Bernie is in Chet’s.” —Susan Wilson, New York Times bestselling author of The Dog I Loved

At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Macmillan Publishers
• Release date: Jun 28, 2022
• ISBN: 9781250886910

Spencer Quinn

Spencer Quinn is the bestselling author of eight Chet and Bernie mystery series, as well as the #1 New York Times bestselling Bowser and Birdie series for middle-grade readers. He lives on Cape Cod with his wife Diana—and dogs Audrey and Pearl. Keep up with him by visiting SpenceQuinn.com.

Book preview

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Reviews for Short Tails

[liscarey · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Everyone's favorite canine narrator, Chet, is back with more stories of his adventures with private investigator Bernie Little.This time we have three short stories, and an excerpt from the most recent novel, Bark to the Future, which was still forthcoming at the time this was published."Upper Story" features Chet during the time he was living with Rick Torres, while Bernie is hospitalized after being seriously injured. We get a lovely look at how well-known and generally liked both Chet and Bernie are--even among some of the perps. We also learn that Bernie's condition was more serious than Chet was able to understand at the time. It's sweet and heartwarming."The Iggy Papers" is about Chet and Bernie's neighbors, Mr. and Mrs. Parsons, and their dog, Chet's friend, Iggy. Mrs. Parsons has been very ill, with cancer, and has now been released from the hospital, for the sad reason that there is nothing left except palliative care. But Mr. Parsons has been approached by a hospital orderly with news of a wonderful new treatment, not known to the doctors. A man named Ricardo created it, and is offering it to suitable people, for... Mrs. Parsons says "free." When Bernie gets Mr. Parsons aside, he admits it's really "at cost," and Bernie becomes very concerned about what little he can learn from Mr. Parsons about that "cost." But nothing is more important than his beloved wife. Bernie and Chet of course have to investigate."The Numbers After Two" refers of course to the numbers Chet doesn't understand, and to the numbers involved in the case they stumble into. The story starts off simple and straightforward, with Chet and Bernie taking a ride in the desert, and Chet's nose detecting the out of place scent of bubblegum, which leads them to two lost children. There's a hefty reward, which Chet, as is often the case, takes more seriously than Bernie. Then they meet an enterprising young man at a barely-open bar on the ride home, and this is where it gets less straightforward. Some readers think Bernie doesn't recognize the scam. I think, Bernie does recognize the scam, and wants to expose it. Bernie is always propelled by a sometimes inconvenient sense of justice, and the readiness with which he takes up cases in which there is either no client, or a client who obviously can't pay shows that. I think he was in this case determined to expose the scam. I liked the story; I may be a minority in this.I enjoyed this collection quite a lot, overall. How can you not love Chet?I bought this book.

[hcnewton · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

This originally appeared at The Irresponsible Reader.--- I grabbed him by the pant leg, which was how we closed our cases, me and Bernie. “Aieee! Aieee!” Oh, come on, Chuckie! Suck it up. My teeth were barely engaged at all. But the funny thing is that when that Aieee sound is in the air, they—meaning my teeth—get this sort of…urge. “AIEEE! AIEEE!”WHAT'S SHORT TAILS ABOUT?This is a collection of short stories from the Chet & Bernie series. I don't normally do this for short story collections, but the collection is brief enough that I can get away with it, let's take a quick look at each.UPPER STORYI want to say that this takes place during Scents and Sensibility, but I can't swear to it (if it didn't, I might as well have). Bernie's in the hospital, so Chet's staying--and working with--their friend, Rick Torres. This story is heavy on Chet's actions and his contrasting appraisal of working with Bernie vs. Rick. As you'd expect, the comparison does not go in Rick's favor (no matter that he's freer with the Slim Jims).It's a very short story with a great emotional punch and some good chuckle-inducing lines. I'd have honestly expected this to be last in the collection because of that--but what do I know?THE IGGY PAPERSThis is probably the most satisfying story in the bunch. Like with The Iggy Chronicles, this focuses on something to do with Mrs. Parson's medical care. Bernie gets to flex his investigative muscles here a bit more than in the other stories from the book, and Chet's major contributions come from his commentary and interaction with Iggy.This is everything that a Chet and Bernie short story should be.THE NUMBERS AFTER TWOIt's been a bit since we got to see Bernie's head for finances on display (more accurately, total lack of one), this story gives us a tale about an interrupted vacation for the detectives and a chance to see Bernie's gullibility on display.I know that it's good to see Bernie's fallibility--Chet tends toward hagiography when he describes Bernie. We need to see him stumble outside of his romantic relationships--but I have such trouble buying that he can be as gullible as he so often is when it comes to financial schemes and yet be such a good detective. Still, this is who he's been since Day 1 of the series, so we need to see it every now and then.The story isn't all about watching the train wreck of Bernie making a bad investment*, but it's the heart of it--the rest of the story makes up for that part of it, and it ends on a good note (as it started).* That feels like a spoiler, but if you don't know what's going to happen the instant that Bernie gets a wad of cash, you haven't been paying attention.SO, WHAT DID I THINK ABOUT SHORT TAILS?These were cute stories, but there were too few of them. If this collection was 2 or 3-times as long? I'd have been as happy as a dog with a new Kong. I had fun with this, but it was just enough to satisfy me. But not much more than that.Still, I'll take any excuse to read a Chet & Bernie story, and I figure most of Quinn's readers will, too. So yeah, I recommend it.