Supply Lines: Five Supporting Relationships Every Planter and Pastor Needs

By Scott Nelson

Despite all the support they give to others, pastors are in dire need of relational support themselves. 70% of pastors do not have a single close friend and 40% have considered leaving ministry. Church planters are especially impacted. When the initial startup is over and they lose much of their support i

• Language: English
• Publisher: Cyclical Publishing
• Release date: Jun 1, 2023
• ISBN: 9781088265161

Scott Nelson

Scott Nelson grew up in Montana where he talked to the animals around him while learning to use the law of attraction to bring good things into his life. Scott credits his grandmother for teaching him about nature and the power of affirmation. Today, he resides in Fortuna, California. This is his first book.

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Scott Nelson

Supply Lines

Five Supporting Relationships Every Planter and Pastor Needs

First published by Cyclical Publishing 2023

Copyright © 2023 by Scott Nelson

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise without written permission from the publisher. It is illegal to copy this book, post it to a website, or distribute it by any other means without permission.

Scott Nelson has no responsibility for the persistence or accuracy of URLs for external or third-party Internet Websites referred to in this publication and does not guarantee that any content on such Websites is, or will remain, accurate or appropriate.

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, Copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

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To my supportive wife Hannah,

who is an incredible example of the power of support,

and without whose support this work would not have been possible.

To my five incredible kids,

who have been a huge part of the church planting journey.

I love that I get to be your dad.

And to my church family at Covenant Grove Church,

who have been crazy enough to follow Jesus

no matter where he leads us.

I love being part of a group of fully devoted misfits like you.

Contents

Planters and Pastors Need More Support

I. THE IMPORTANCE OF SUPPORT

1. The Value of Supply Lines

2. Misunderstandings About Support

II. THE FIVE SUPPLY LINES

3. Soul Sharpeners Spur Us Closer to Christ

4. Vision Casters Inspire Big Dreams

5. Tail Kickers Encourage and Motivate

6. Friends and Heart Healers Refresh and Repair

7. Strategic Thinkers Provide Resources and Systems

III. STRENGTHENING SUPPLY LINES

8. Hitting the Wall: Preparing for Crisis

9. Making and Living Your Support Plan

10. Supporting Others: Supply Lines for a Larger Movement

Appendix A: The Support Tool

Appendix B: Misunderstandings About Support

Appendix C: Summary of Tips for Finding and Strengthening Your Supply Lines

About the Author

Planters and Pastors Need More Support

Support makes all the difference in life. I was five years into starting a new church, and the school we were renting for worship called with the news, Our board has revised their rental rules. Your church needs to find another place to meet. I was shocked and scared. Thankfully, the school gave us some time to find a new location, but there was nothing in our part of town available in our budget. It seemed like an impossible problem. I was already tired from five years of church planting. How could I handle this?

As I hung up the phone, emotions flooded into my mind. After spending some time in prayer, I made a bunch of phone calls. I called three people and met with two more that day. Those support people didn’t give me answers, but they provided space to process the problem. They reminded me of God’s faithfulness and helped me create the beginnings of a plan to move forward. They also continued supporting me over the next few months as the Lord provided a new place to meet that was even better for our church. God opened the doors for a new rental through a friend of a friend, and we found ourselves reaching even more people with the hope of Jesus.

Only three months later, we had an opportunity to buy property—in the same area of town—with church buildings already on the premises. This required more prayer, support, and sacrificial giving—way beyond what our church had done to that point. Yet I approached this next impossible problem with much more confidence. I had learned what God can do, and I had raised up a lot more relational support around me as a planter and pastor. Two months later, the Lord had raised the down payment for the property, which was equal to 50% of our annual budget at the time! We moved in, new people were reached, and ministry flourished.

The important ministry lessons started with that first discouraging phone call. I learned to trust God with impossible situations (they seem frequent in church planting), and I learned the importance of relational support. Those support people helped me trust in the Lord’s timing, stay healthy, and lead with hope during this time of potential crisis.

Support makes all the difference in life and leadership. This book is written to church planters and pastors because that is who I am and where I spend most of my time as a pastor, leader, and coach. Yet I have used this material with business leaders, non-profit leaders, and government leaders, as well as people who are in no leadership position. Due to the research behind the book and my experience, most of the stories come from the world of church planting and pastoral ministry, though you can apply the principles to any area of life and leadership. My greatest hope is that you will find more relational support and experience the tremendous difference it makes!

Church Planting and Pastoring Are Hard (Duh)

I have five kids, and I can tell you that raising kids is amazing, rewarding, and…hard. Church planters are like spiritual parents. They dream of their new baby, give it a name, and adjust their lives for the arrival. New parents receive much support to ensure a healthy birth (like medical checkups and baby showers). Church planters, similarly, receive an outpouring of support when their church is first born –assessments, training, coaching, finances, connections, and more. The support given increases the likelihood of survival for each baby (or church).

When a church starts, support is often overflowing. Some networks and denominations even require coaching, conferences, reports, and other forms of relational support. Yet as the church gets older, support levels tend to decrease—especially relational support—even as the church plant is facing new challenges. After three or four years, church planters are feeling fatigued. Their big dreams may not have all become realities, and discouragement can settle in. Church planting often takes a toll on marriage and family life, bringing hard conversations and a need for more sustainable patterns for life. It is in these years that planters need the most relational support from colleagues, coaches, and mentors. Unfortunately, it is in these years that planters typically have the least relational support. These are the years in which church plants close—not from a lack of heart but a shortfall of support. Church planters in these years who want to thrive long-term will need to find additional relational support.

Planters and pastors need more support. If you are serving in one of these roles, this statement won’t shock you. I am not referring to finances (though who couldn’t use more) but to supportive people in your life who give support. The world of church planting has long understood the financial cost of starting new churches, yet in recent years there has been more attention given to the spiritual and emotional cost of church planting and pastoring.

Ed Stetzer writes, Church planting is a rigorous task that leaves planters physically, emotionally and spiritually drained… Performance pressure overwhelms their theological moorings as to who they are in Christ creating an incessant anxiety which drives them even further into the work that drains them. It’s a vicious cycle.¹ The same statement applies to pastoral ministry. Rest and godly rhythms are important antidotes to the performance pressure that planters and pastors feel. Yet I have found that without healthy relational support, most of us will ignore our limits and blow past our boundaries. Pastors need relational support not only in the first years but for the entirety of their ministry. Support empowers us to thrive.

I have been coaching and training church planters for the last five years. My own relational support helped me through some very challenging situations, including my wife’s clinical depression, having kids in the hospital, church growth barriers, personal leadership gaps, and difficult staffing situations. When I coach planters, I learn a lot from these gifted and called leaders who are passionate about the mission of God. Coaching planters gives me an opportunity to listen, support, and share my lessons (most which have been learned from mistakes).

Church planters and pastors are often resistant to receiving more relational support, even as they are personally providing support for others and setting up a church that supports others. This creates a relational support deficit that slowly drains the pastor of vibrancy and vision. I have personally experienced this and seen it in many others. I have never met anyone who told me they had too much relational support. Support does not replace healthy boundaries, personal devotion, or hard work—it multiplies them exponentially. This support can come from friends, colleagues, mentors, cohorts, or coaches.

The planters who ignore their need for additional relational support tend to burn out, typically in years four to nine. The deficit defeats them. Early on in a coaching relationship, planters often ask me, Why do I need additional support? I have you. I answer them, What happens when a bridge carries a heavier load than its support structure? Collapse. Be intentional about your support because church planting and pastoring are hard. Stronger support means greater load and greater vision for the Lord.

Five Supporting Relationships

This book was written to help planters and pastors raise up additional support. This support is not primarily task delegation but relational support that helps you dream, respond, and lead in healthy and helpful ways. There are five Supply Lines—key relational areas where church planters and pastors (and all people) need support:

Spiritual—Soul Sharpeners who spur us closer to Christ

Inspirational—Vision Casters who inspire and renew big dreams in us

Motivational—Tail Kickers who inspire and motivate us

Interpersonal—Friends and Heart Healers who refresh and repair us

Practical—Strategic Thinkers who provide resources, models, and systems²

One person can’t cover all five areas (this includes your spouse if you are married). Each of us needs at least three (or more) people that we meet with regularly who can support us in these five areas. It also helps to have backups in each area to prepare for or prevent crisis. These are usually professionals used for a concentrated amount of time, such as therapists or consultants.

It is important for leaders to realize that support often fades over time. Most pastors experience more relational support when they are younger or starting in ministry. Church planters usually experience a surge of support that fades over time. Planters can prepare for the difficult young church stage (years four through nine) by continually seeking out and strengthening their support in the five Supply Lines. Network leaders can include this material in their training—they can also find ways to facilitate connection and collaboration for the planters in years four to nine, who often feel isolated and with a lack of resources in these years.

An abundance of support helps a church begin and flourish. This same support can empower a church plant to continue maturing in the young church stage. Pastors who prioritize receiving support can thrive, leading a church that supports their leaders, each other, other church plants, and God’s mission in the world. Network leaders who facilitate long-term support for their planters will find more churches able to support and send the next generation of church plants. The supported can send and support others.

Church planters and pastors—you need more support. Use this book to identify the five types of relational support needed, creating a plan to seek and receive support regularly. These people are usually peers or mentors, often from outside your church. If you are just beginning, understand that support fades over time. You may already know this!

Spouses of church planters and pastors—God bless you! I know that your greatest desire is to support your spouse while you lead together. Spouses typically receive less support than the planter or pastor. The more support you receive, the more support you can give. Use this book to understand what support your spouse needs, and be clear about which of the five types of support you can best give. Also find your own dream team of support for this journey.

Coaches and supportive people—thank you for your support! I hope this book helps you identify which of the five Supply Lines most fits you. No one person can cover all five areas—at most one person can cover two. Help the person you are supporting find additional support and prepare for crisis moments. You could even read and discuss this book together. Make sure you are being supported as well. Most importantly, keep the conversation focused on supporting the leader (who will likely try to pastor you in a meeting that is supposed to be about him or her).

Network or denominational leaders—you are vital to moving the movement. When you are supported, you can support others. You can use the material in this book to help train planters, pastors, and coaches on the Supply Lines. You can also help planters them for years four through nine, when support tends to fade. More practical and system-level thoughts are part of chapter ten.

The Research Behind the Book

This book is based on a research project done for my denomination, the Evangelical Covenant Church. I was asked to conduct over 70 interviews with church planters, directors of church planting, and denominational leaders. Those interviewed came from every region in the United States, and included Canada. Surveys or predetermined questions were not used because they presupposed we knew the right questions to ask.

The research was qualitative and focused on open-ended questions, starting with What is working and not working in church planting?³ This allowed those being interviewed to present the categories. In the interviews I never shared my thoughts but merely listened, took notes, and asked more questions. Over 320 pages of notes were compiled. The themes and categories that were repeated most frequently (even if there were different views on those categories) were put into a report and presented to the church planting leadership.

There was one theme repeated most frequently—more support is needed. Planters need more support. Directors of church planting need more support, and when they don’t receive enough, that lack of support trickles down to the church planters. Changes were made based on the research (and other input), including training for coaches, extending the length of time for coaching, and revising church planter training. The goal is for church plants to be supported well so they can become sustaining churches who eventually support and send others.

Two years later I took the research and expanded it into my doctoral dissertation at Fuller Theological Seminary. This included developing a deeper theology of support, which is covered all throughout the book and especially in chapter one. There are very few books that write about the relational support that church planters need. While there are many books on the personal choices a pastor or planter can make for healthy rest and boundaries (and these are important) there are surprisingly few on support. I hope this will change in the future.

In church leadership, relational support is vitally important but often neglected or misunderstood. Pastors carry a heavy burden, sometimes imposed by others yet often self-imposed. Planters face unique challenges, including the survival of their church plants.⁴ For many, the fear of burnout or failure is so real that they consider leaving ministry altogether.

My research revealed that relational support is the leadership X factor for successful and thriving leaders. These leaders sometimes don’t even realize how much support they have had in their ministries. Although there is currently little written about it, church plants who know how to raise up, receive, and cultivate support have a much higher chance of surviving and reproducing. My hope is that this book can help church planters and pastors identify and raise up the needed areas of support in their lives. Support makes all the difference!

The Structure of the Book

The book is divided into three parts. Part One talks about the importance of support and the concept of Supply Lines, including a brief theology of support. For planters and pastors, Supply Lines are vital to victory. This part also includes a chapter to dispel the many myths about support. Many people resist receiving support from others because support is misunderstood.

Part Two is a deeper look into each of the five Supply Lines. If you are like most planters and pastors I know, you have great support in one or two areas and big gaps in the rest. This section will talk about the importance of each area and the difference they make.

Part Three practically talks about how to strengthen the Supply Lines in your life. We will first cover what to do when you hit the wall in planting (the crisis times seem common in church planting—it is a spiritual battle after all). Next, we will talk about how to setup a Support Plan, using a simple tool to help you recruit and stay connected to your Supply Lines. The final chapter is about setting up support systems for others. This chapter will also have practical suggestions for coaches, network leaders, and denominations.

Every chapter includes a look at a biblical character who received or gave support. The importance of support is woven throughout the Bible.

Many Thanks to My Support

It would be strange to write a book on support without thanking the many people who have supported me. I want to begin with my wife Hannah for her unending support and encouragement as we planted a church, plant new churches, raise a family, and make incredible memories. You have been by my side through all my crazy dreams and adventures. I want to thank my kids (Ben, Ruth, Emma, Jane, and Hope) for their love, support, and faith. To my parents, thank you for all your love—you have always believed in me and supported me. To Covenant Grove Church, thank you for your support and for your heart to see lives transformed by the love of Jesus. I love serving and belonging to our family of misfits. Thank you to the many mentors and coaches I have had in my life: Mark Krieger, Pat Stark, David Gingerich, Craig Sweeney, Jean Cheng Gorman, Bud Locke, Wayne Carlson, Chuck Wysong, Linda Belleville, Frank Riley, Kurt Fredrickson, Scot McKnight, David Nystrom, and many more. And thank you to Tim Morey for being my constant encourager in this writing process—without your support and encouragement, this book would never have been written.

Finally, thanks to you for reading this (or at least making it through the introduction). Thank you for being a church planter, considering church planting, or supporting a church planter. My humble prayer is that more support can be given to church planters so they can flourish and thrive. With more support we can plant more churches to reach more people with the love of Christ.

Scott Nelson

John 15:5

¹ Starting a Church Without Losing Your Soul, Christianity Today (January 27, 2009), https://dennissy.com/starting-a-church-without-losing-your-soul

² This list is based on research done with church planters, and similar to the list found in Ray Johnston, Hope Quotient: Measure It. Raise It. You’ll Never Be the Same (Nashville, TN: Nelson, 2014), 107-111.

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