After The Event

By Mark Binmore

'Did I really agree to this?' he asks. 'A couple of people who read the first book Tour De Europa,' he says, 'they either really liked it or they found it very uncomfortable. I liked the idea of it being uncomfortable. I thought that was great. I love the ambiguity. But I also loved looking back on lost conversations and instantly remembering an emotion.' A clock somewhere strikes two and a friend arrives with tea, pizza, avocado with balsamic vinegar and cream cake for afters, only to be playfully admonished by Mark, who protests, 'I can't eat all this shit!' It would appear some things never change. After The Event features the three books Tour De Europa, Versus America and Up Against It plus Extras.  Written by Chris Henson with Mark Binmore.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Mark Binmore
• Release date: Aug 15, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223748311

Book preview

Chris Henson with Mark Binmore

BY THE SAME AUTHOR

Johnny I’m Sorry

Private Places

Tour De Europa

Versus America

Up Against It

The Unpublished Chronicles

Published by Fontana

First published in Great Britain by Kindlight 2019

Copyright ©Chris Henson 2019

This Special Edition ©Chris Henson 2021

After The Event features Tour De Europa, Versus America and Up Against It, plus extras. All three editions have been re-edited from the original manuscripts. 

The right of Anonymous to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved

Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and publisher of this book

All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.

I am waiting for Mark.

For the last several months he has been missing, Garbo-like, from public life. But in reality he has been writing a new book. We have agreed to go back over the original manuscripts for this edition, to do some editing, add in some extras, delete a few choice words and phrases.

We meet in his London home, where he is dressed in a workday uniform of brown shirt, jeans and trainers, hair clipped up in practical busy-busy fashion, all smiles and loud laughter. We first met over five years ago. Then we tentatively shook hands and the laughter was nervous. All that has changed. But some things have not. He still famously hates interviews.

Around us there is evidence of a very regular existence. There are books scattered everywhere, a Sony widescreen with a DVD of Shackleton sitting below it. Atop the fireplace hangs a painting called Fishermen by James Southall, a tableau of weather-beaten sea dogs wrestling with a rowing boat; a gift he bought himself on the anniversary of a publication. Balanced against a wall in the office next door is a replica of the Rosebud sledge burned at the dramatic conclusion of Citizen Kane. As I unpack my scripts, I begin with a question. You once said, 'There is a figure that is adored, but I'd question very strongly that it's me.'

There is silence. A stare. You did say it.

'Well supposedly I said that. But in what context did I say it?'

Just talking about people building up this image of you. It was one of the first things you ever said to me.

'Yes, but I'm not, am I?'

There was also that interview that described you as someone fragile being who's hidden himself away.

'That was fairly amusing. A lot of the time it doesn't bother me. I suppose I do think I go out of my way to be a very normal person and I just find it frustrating that people think that I'm some kind of weirdo reclusive that never comes out into the world.'

His voice notches up in volume.

Did you ever feel you would finish your first book?

'Oh yeah,' he sighs. 'I mean, there were so many times I thought, I'll have the book finished this year, definitely, I'll get it out this year. Then there were a couple of years where I thought, I'm never gonna do this. I don't know why. Time evaporates.'

He walks over and picks up the manuscripts. He reads a bit. He laughs.

'Did I really agree to this?' he asks.

Mark knows the answer. 

'A couple of people who read the first book Tour De Europa,' he says, 'they either really liked it or they found it very uncomfortable. I liked the idea of it being uncomfortable. I thought that was great. I love the ambiguity. But I also loved looking back on lost conversations and instantly remembering an emotion.'

A clock somewhere strikes two and a friend arrives with tea, pizza, avocado with balsamic vinegar and cream cake for afters, only to be playfully admonished by Mark, who protests, 'I can't eat all this shit!'

It would appear some things never change.

Tour De Europa.

Tour De Europa was originally published in 2015. The spelling of the book title was completely deliberate although we both never said so at the time. 

This book started out with little formal brief, other than a combination of photographs and text recording his 2014 book tour as it travelled across the majority of countries in Western Europe. There was an idea to do a behind the scenes reportage on what it was like for a relatively new author to be on the promotional trail of his new book, what goes on behind the book signing, that kind of thing. If there was a single idea behind it, it was one what might happen when two different cultures – that of Mark Binmore and that of Europe – meet. The choice of Jeff Thorn as the tour photographer was influenced by his portfolio of American truck stops and landscapes of Europe and there was certainly an expectation that he might photograph Mark against the wide open landscapes of the continent or leaning casually against gas pumps. If he didn’t take those photos, it was because they were not there to be taken. Even across beautiful countries, it turned out, Mark was not the sort of person who spent much times in fields or petrol stations.

What we recorded was slightly more complicated.

Mark treats Europe with an uneasy mixture of priorities, prejudices and pleasure, countries where he faced a sense of mission with a sense of disdain. The same questions being asked. A sense of boredom. Mark is relatively old school when it comes to promotion. There is the book. Read it. Enjoy it. Let me write another.  Although Mark has travelled before promoting his books he has never undertaken a full country by country book tour including the United Kingdom. There was a planned tour a few years ago, but he pulled out after realizing the entire cost and the deficit that would happen. Fast forward a few years and now signed to a publishing house, it was agreed he would tour and undergo promotion in various countries across Europe. A planned American tour was proposed then postponed; but it would happen and that would be covered in my second book with Mark we titled 'Versus America.' 

Part of this book is indeed about Mark Binmore versus Europe, but in other parts Europe sits in the background and the true tussle is that of Mark Binmore versus himself. The narration, just as the photographs which originally featured in the limited edition hardback edition, takes the form of snapshots. The reader is eavesdropping, and most of the time those speaking have forgotten they are being listened to.

In hindsight, Mark remembers this tour as thrilling and fairly triumphant. His memories may be unfairly skewed towards the happier times; this book, by contrast, is unfairly skewed towards the more difficult moments. Mark is not the sort of person to say a huge amount during moments of exuberance, preferring to sip a little champagne, perhaps and then move on. At times of boredom, irritation or crisis he is rather more garrulous. 

If in the text that follows he occasionally seems irrational, or inconsistent, or pompous, or nasty, remember that most of the words in this book aren’t those of public statements but of private, everyday babble, words that, in more normal circumstances, would have been forgotten as soon as they were spoken. 

Mark eventually agreed to publication of the book and decided to compose a short and rather precise forward. 

When I toured across Europe for promotion of a recent published book, I anticipated some sort of confrontation between my own values of what a book launch should be, perhaps a theatrical presentation, and traditional publishing values alongside the usual audiences and critics. In fact, the book tour was a thrilling experience for me, the book sold well, the audiences were enthusiastic and everyone involved worked incredibly hard to present a structured launch in venues of varying sizes – even some of the critics liked it. Chris Henson travelled with me on the entire tour. This book is a record of it. 

Released in 2015 in three formats, the book charted in the top thirty of bestsellers across Europe. 

The Opening.

Café Le Bell Paris, a café bar set amongst an avenue of boutiques and green trees.  Mark and his friends are staying at a nearby hotel and today is what Mark has called a rest day. Everyone is booked under their own names although Chris opted to change his name to Randolph when he registered causing confusion at the reception; more confusing is that no one has asked him why. Across the road from the café bar is a small menswear shop with a bizarre promotion 'Hot legs contest, if you show us your hot legs we give you hot jeans.' It then continues to say that if you have the best legs you will receive a jean jacket as well. 

'Double denim,' snorts Chris, 'and they say the French dress well.'

In Paris last night, Mark went to see a Kylie Minogue tribute concert. 'I was asked backstage beforehand,' said Mark rather proudly. 'One of the dancers made a comment about my hair, I said I really liked Better The Devil You Know and told them I bought it on seven inch back in 1990. The Kylie woman just looked at me bizarrely and muttered, 'what’s a seven inch?'

Mark scowls as I tell him his Trumpets book has finally been released in Belgium and has entered the national book chart at a low #180. The prediction had been much higher but due to a book code error, shipments were delayed and previous promotional duties cancelled. Earlier in the afternoon Mark had been to see the film The Dreamers which is being repeated again at some art cinema.  'It was a good film when I first saw it, but now I’m not so sure, I only went because it’s nice to talk about a French film in French interviews.'

'This book release is slightly more theatrical', explains Mark. 'I see this publication more as an event, some discussion, some background music and questions and answers about the book. I get to read quite a bit as well. I was always told that in order to sell a book you’ve got to promote extensively. Well, my response to that is that okay, I will tour and promote the book but on my terms and that’s something I will deal with. I see this as a challenge.'

Book Review 'Strange Behaviour'

Everyone crowds round as Mark shows them his new book editions of his back catalogue. Marks publishing house have reissued his first five books with new artwork, and with different colour covers. 

'They look beautiful actually,' Mark comments. 

A man walks past and looks disapprovingly over at Mark.

'Are you famous?' he asks in broken English.

'Yes,' Mark nods in a matter of fact way then looks away.

'Hmm, I thought so. Fuck off. '

He walks away.

Everyone laughs.

'You see? This what I have to put with,' Mark comments.

Mark Binmore (b.1971) grew up in Torquay, England. He started writing at an early age and studied drama and dance performing in many local and national amateur and professional productions. In the early 1990s he moved to London to continue his career. In the background he was still writing, namely song lyrics, poetry, short stories resulting in a management contract with Massive and the publication of his first book Beautiful Mess. The book sold well and he was commissioned to write two novels. The seedy Twilights & Lowlifes featured the backdrop to his London home in Soho while The Flamenco was a psychedelic adventure in love and adultery. An autobiography was also penned, In Search Of The Fabulous People which originally received a sparse distribution and, bizarrely according to Mark, was presented in a ballet style shoe box complete with lithograph, pen and photograph. Described as, 'quite funny in places,' it was later re-reviewed by the author as, 'a load of old bollocks,' and has not been published since. 

Interviews. 

Mark is on the telephone to a radio station in Dublin. Book sales in Ireland have not been good. Before he dials he wonders whether the Irish have reacted badly to comments he made a few years ago although he doesn’t divulge what comments they were. 'I may have said I hated U2,' he sniggers. A few minutes later he’s telling the reporter how he is a huge U2 fan.

The next interview is here in person, Sasha from a local magazine. There are many journalists waiting also to interview Mark, arranged by his publishers and reluctantly Mark has agreed to meet them all.

Sasha asks the questions and in-between fiddling with his hair and footwear, Mark goes into a well-rehearsed spiel. 

'...no, I’m not a huge Opera fan. I guess I’m more a fan of music; it’s what I grew up with and prefer listening to. I do like theatre though although musicals are rather irritating. I once saw twenty minutes of Miss Saigon and then walked out, or was it Les Mes, one of those shows anyhow.'

How are people reacting to your book tour Sasha asks?

'They will probably leave halfway through my opening speech, 'Mark laughs. 'Most people who have read the new book say they loved it and that is nice to hear.'

More questions.

Do you feel more comfortable writing a book or promoting it?

'I think when you’re writing a book you look forward to getting it out there and then vice versa, when you’re promoting it there is a large part that you just want to retreat and write.'

As usual there are questions about his private life and sexuality.

'I think I’ve covered those questions before.'

Sasha leaves.

Mark starts leafing through one of those perfect-bound pieces of hotel advertising, a guide to the best hundred hotels in Paris.

'This isn’t one of them,' he complains, 'it’s a dump if you ask me. I shall send this onto Claudine.'

Claudine is Mark’s editor. Mark looks round.

'You know, most hotels are designed for group sex, glass surfaces, mirrors everywhere, the hot tub. It’s kink city.'

Sandwiches arrive. We are in Marks suite at the hotel. Already he is complaining about the bathroom.

'The cold tap fell off,' he moans.

The sandwiches are left uneaten. He surveys his schedule. 

'I see Finland has been sneaked in, I’ve never been to Finland, am I selling in Finland?'

Someone shouts yes.

The next interviewer Maurice is from a French gay magazine Oui. Mark does his spiel again. 

'I don’t really see myself as a writer, not in the common sense of a writer, but then I have sold books so I guess you could call me a writer.' The interviewer sits silent. Mark just stares back before declaring, 'I rather fucked that bit up didn’t I, best not publish that.'

Maurice muses on his unpopularity in Italy, the only country in Europe when he has not had regular book sales. 

'I can’t explain it,' Mark confesses. 'I guess it’s hard to explain why or why you are not popular. I think maybe I am too English and the Italians, well, I’d like to be popular there, I do love Italy and Rome and Venice, a beautiful country, but I don’t know, wasn’t I supposed to go to Rome?'

There is no answer. 

The interview ends silently. The transcript is never published.

Mark shows me a few pieces of fan mail he has received from Istanbul. Apparently his books sell quite well in Turkey despite being published in English. Mohammad writes, 'I loved reading your book on winter, it was very exciting, I hope to meet you one day to give you a hug.' Ismail writes, 'You write very pretty, I want to write like you.' Yuki writes, 'Your books occupy a large piece of my mind, I love you, I tweeted you but you did not reply.' Rid simply writes, 'I dreamt about you last night after reading your book, in my dream I saw you walking the streets where I live calling my name, ultimate gratitude and a hundred kisses from me to you, I wish I could meet you.'  There are a few other pieces of mail which Mark showed me but instructed me not to say what they were. Many of them were obscene.

More interviews. 

They field questions of the main character in Mark’s new book Stephen Wallingford.  Mark points out that the character was modeled on four or five people. One interviewer pushes. Stephen Fry? 

'Stephen Fry?' Mark mutters. 

Mark is also asked about criticism. 

'I always criticize; I guess I am a terrible critical person. I wish I wasn’t on many levels because it can make life much more difficult. You notice what’s going on around you and it doesn’t make for a comfortable life. If people have comfortable lives they’re almost not aware of what’s going on. I think that’s what makes for comfort. I guess I have what people call a funny pessimism, always expecting the worst.'

He sighs, then relaunches into further explanation. 

'After a while, the bullshit, the people not telling you the truth starts to wear you down. It can make you angry, the stroking of ego. In Europe you have to do many meet n greets; it’s a deal so that bookshops will stock and sell your book. They don’t plug your book because they like it; they promote it because they have been paid to do so.'

The interviewer asks why he recently wrote a series of short stories for an American magazine.

'Because they liked my work, is that the official reason?'

An associate simply nods.

'Actually that’s bullshit,' Mark confirms and then proceeds to tell the real story, all dull publishing house machinations before changing the subject and discussing plans for home and the renovation of an outbuilding.

Are you a royalist one person asks?

'Not really, Prince Phillip should be garroted.'

Mark talks enthusiastically about artwork, a collection of paintings he has just acquired for his home in London. 

'I’ve got some modern art, but sometimes I feel art can just become decoration. It depends on the house, sometimes a house works better without art and stuff, without any belongings.'

Mark is asked about politics and then about AIDS, a subject which featured in his series of short American stories.

'I think all of those stories connected with that. It changed everything even music because pop music is about sex and AIDS changed sex. Clubbing has now become more about dancing and getting out of your head rather than a courtship ritual and so dance music has become more pure. Disco was sexual, love to love you baby, heavy breathing. Dance music now is more heavy beats and you dance by yourself. These two things have changed society completely.'

Have you lost friends to AIDS?

'Yes, many.'

There is silence.

For his final question, the interviewer asks about charity.

'I do a lot for charity, but I don’t like to talk about it.'

Like what, he asks?

'I can’t tell you,' says Mark.

The next interviewer wants to know whether he is bored with granting interviews. 

'You start giving wrong answers because you are bored with the right ones,' Mark replies, 'or you start saying horrible things.'

Mark says this is his farewell book tour.

You’re going to stop writing the interviewer asks wide eyed.

'No, but it’s a farewell to the fans book tour.'

And welcome to what he asks?

'Solitude,' says Mark.

The interviewer asks Mark if he’s been living up his reputation by complaining. 

'I’m bored with complaining, I’m past complaining. I’ve become a much nicer person,' Marks grins.

The door bangs.

'It’s only the wind,' says Mark and everyone chortles. The interviewer says that in France Now Is Not The Time For Trumpets was promoted with pictures of a young prince. Mark nods, 'I think they found it fabulously arresting, something to appeal to the French style of humour.'

Ram, a friend of Marks arrives with a new t-shirt for Mark. He is travelling with us on the book tour stopping at various cities. On the front of the t-shirt it says François. Mark has just bought a new Mossimo hat, but he plans to hide it from Ram so he can’t copy him.

We head towards a radio station, Mark, Chris, Ram, the photographer, myself, an assistant and a burly security guard. The book still needs promoting so a telephone interview has been arranged. In the car a song by Kate Bush is being played on the radio.

'Oh I love this one, turn it up loud,' Mark demands and proceeds to sing-along. We pull up at the radio station. For a joke Ram gets out his American Express card and a bundle of cash and says, 'Why don’t we make this real easy – two minutes – we’ll wait in the lobby.' But Mark has to go in. 

'Oh,' sighs Mark, 'promotion used to be so much simpler. They used to fix things so much easier, the good old days were far more sleazier.'

As they wait Mark and Ram discuss Henri, Marks assistant on this tour. They think he has been shopping too much.

'You should pay him less,' says Ram.

'I think I do,' says Mark.

They are kept waiting for an age. The conversation drifts towards America and Los Angeles. Finally Mark is ushered in to the studio and the DJ introduces him, 'Mark Binmore is here getting down with Cox on the radio.'

'Is that meant to be a double entendre?' asks Mark.

'What do you want to talk about?' asks the DJ.

'Selling books, I talked about sex last time.'

The interview begins.

'So Matthew...' he says.

'Mark, actually,' says Mark.

The next radio station is a small pirate station and here they are greeted by an American called Chuck.

'You like Motown?' 

'Why are you asking?' says Mark defensively. 'It’s a loaded question. I used to like The Supremes, I also like Chicken Supreme.'

As at most radio stations, Mark is asked to do loads of station ID, whereby he introduces most of the DJs and also highlights various local campaigns. One of today’s is 'Hi, This is Mark Binmore urging you to participate in recycling, everything helps.'

'I did that once before in Berlin, they should have recycled it, save the tape.' Mark whispers.

On the way back Henri talks business, trying to get Mark interested in going to America on a promotional trail and perhaps doing some kind of advert for the main press which he thinks will open more doors for him. Suddenly Mark announces, 'I like the morning, there is so much hope in the morning. There is so much potential which is never realized by early evening.'

Everyone in the car stares at Mark. 

We dine at a Cuban restaurant on the left bank. Mark sits next to Ram and they giggle for ten minutes like naughty school children. With us are two American agents, Sam and his wife Alex.

'Why is it not the time for a trumpet?' enquires Alex before knocking over three glasses and a bottle of wine.

The evening is lost in old stories.

The following day. 

Mark, Ram and Henri wonder round a huge department store looking for vitamins and shoes. Mark, who hasn’t slept at all, is wearing another new tee shirt with the phrase I AM NEW YORK in huge letters dazzling on the front. Henri is talking through some business as they shop. An American book chain wants to publish an edited version of Trumpets. Mark is adamant that they shouldn’t despite a good royalty payment. Five minutes later the offer is increased. Mark agrees. He looks at me. 

'The shade of it.  But hey, I’m not totally stupid.'

Mark agrees on an edited version being published provided he can see a copy first.  This is agreed.   

Henri also confirms that a few senior people from his publishers will be coming to the book launch in Paris.

'One of them is bringing his own photographer,' Henri explains. 'Agents do not travel without their own trade photographer.'

'Why?' asks Mark.

'I guess he wants a photograph of you and him together,' shrugs Henri.

He continues to explain that no one at a certain English book magazine is interested in writing anything about the book, but they all want tickets to the launch party.

'Well, they can all fuck off then can’t they,' Mark replies.

We all eventually arrive at the book store.

'Oh, it’s a happening venue, I do like this place,' Mark dramatically proclaims.

'Silly old queen,' Ram mutters.

Various people are milling around, some are erecting a promotional display of the book cover, posters and small boxes featuring Marks head. We then notice that the backdrop which is of art-deco wallpaper is ruffled and looks terrible.

'This will have to be re-done,' Mark fumes. 'I’m not going on unless they are done. I shall cancel the event and that’s that.'

Everyone laughs. 

A college radio duo appears and begins an interview in French. They ask whether Mark chooses his own book cover or is it something arranged by the publisher.

'They arrange it, they even write the books you know, I just put my name to it, I’m just a puppet.'

The duo appear confused.

Mark sits in a backstage room surrounded by boxes of books and an assortment of wigs. Ram appears in a vest and wants to sit next to Mark on his left side.

'I always sit on the left when I am with you,' objects Ram.

'You do,' says Mark moving over, 'I’ve never thought about it.'

'Shall I wear my new glasses?' he continues.

'Yes why not, you look great,' Ram replies without actually looking at him.

The cameraman objects and says he cannot wear glasses.

'Oh well,' says Mark, 'I’ll just cancel the interview.'

The interview begins. 

First question. Do you think the French will have difficulty with this book?

'People always underestimate French audiences,' replies Mark diplomatically. 'People think they want something safe, they want to know the author, have a history etc, but usually they’re okay with discovering new talent. I guess this is the world we live in now, new talent. There was a time when you had to be wild and outrageous to get press attention, now it’s just being different, if your different people pick up on that.'

The interviewer says he has an old interview from a few years ago where a book tour was arranged, for his book The Hair Of The Hound, and then cancelled. What changed?

'I guess I decided I couldn’t afford to lose a terrible amount of money travelling and paying for everything in order to sell a few books. I guess I also thought it would be better to have a back catalogue before undergoing a bigger book tour.'

Mark is asked about reading from the book in public.

'That has never been a problem for me. I trained as an actor so the idea or notion of performing in public is okay with me.'

A final question is one that amuses everyone in the room. Mark is asked whether handing out free condoms in school promotes sex.

'Sex has never really needed much promotion, you really should try it kids.'

A French TV crew takes Mark outside.

I was told, says the interviewer, you were scared of the public.

'No, I despise the public.'

'Don’t say that,' says Ram looking at me, 'he’ll write that down.'

The TV crew starts laughing and they all return back inside the building. There is a problem, something to do with the voltages and there is a loud buzz.

'Am I to be officially worried?' Mark asks Henri, who simply shrugs and says nothing.  They all adjourn to a private room on the second floor where catering has been supplied. It’s chicken.

Mark continues with another story. 

'I was with Claudine once at a restaurant and she loudly declared that she didn’t want chicken as it was boring, the waiter then replied back with, you do realize we are a chicken themed restaurant.'

The manager of the store David appears looking very worried.

'I don’t want to under estimate how serious it is but we may have to cancel the book signing. There is something wrong with the electrics, shall we work out a contingency plan, see whether we can reschedule for tomorrow?'

'It’s doomed,' sighs Mark, 'it was obviously a dumb idea.'

A security guard catches Mark on the way downstairs. 'Can I get your autograph?' he asks, 'before...'

'Before everything is cancelled?' says Mark.

It’s obvious to many that the event will have to be cancelled although Mark is still hoping for a last minute miracle.

'I couldn’t bear it if today is cancelled, I just couldn’t bear it, it’s simply out of the question.'

As technicians fiddle, a buzz switches on and off.

'Let’s not stand here,' he says, 'I feel if we go away, a miracle may occur, there will be divine intervention.'

We wander outside into afternoon sun.

'My intuitive sense,' says Henri, 'is that this will be sorted within the hour.'

'It really is a crap start to a book tour,' says Mark. He thinks. 'These things are always a cable, not that I know, I can’t even change a plug. This is a classic case of we eventually arrange this, I get here and then we have to cancel.'

Outside the store we see people starting to queue. Another security guard appears and says to Mark how he likes his books although apologizes when he points out he hasn’t got his new one.

'Well, that’s your shopping sorted for tomorrow then,' Mark fires back.

'Shall I book a restaurant?' Ram enquires.

'I just ate some chicken, actually that’s so annoying,' Mark says.

Ram continues. 

'Actually it’s quite funny, a book tour you wanted to do for years and now it’s cancelled.'

'Only the opening,' Mark clarifies.

'Have some faith,' Henri points out.

'You gotta have faith,' Mark sniggers.

Chris walks past. 'Oh is there a problem, oh well, we get to spend more time in Paris, where are we eating tonight?'

Henri continues to be optimistic although it’s soon pointed out that he is the only one. Mark is still complaining.

'I can’t go on anyhow, my make-up assistant hasn’t arrived, and I need someone to help me change.'

'Get the madam!' Ram shouts. 

Everyone laughs.

We go inside. 

The bookstore is playing a French hip-hop record loud for some reason.

'I think I prefer the buzz,' Mark comments.

It is now 16h00. Mark was due to start at 15h30.

'I haven’t lost hope,' says Henri.

'No, I haven’t lost hope either Henri, I’m mindlessly optimistic as well.'

Ram laughs at him.

The music stops and all you can hear is a loud buzz. The lights also begin to flicker.  It then starts to rain heavily.

'My view,' says Henri,' is that it’s unacceptable to continue, we should cancel.'

'Or postpone,' Mark confirms.

The decision is made and Henri vanishes to liaise with the management. There will be no book launch today, no meet and greet, no more press and the store will be closed.  People queuing outside are told of the cancellation due to technical problems.

'That’s the way it goes,' says Mark, 'so, what are we doing about aperos and dinner tonight?'

Everyone leaves and we all pile into a waiting car.

'I’m going to be stoned by my fans,' Mark says. He doesn’t of course.

'I’ve been shamed, I think the first chapter of this book should be Paris 1, Mark 0.'

Hotel.

Ram is sat at the bar.

'Perhaps it would be inappropriate to drink champagne, it may be wrong if Mark discovers us drinking champers so I think I’ll have a white wine.'

Mark appears. 'Are we drinking champagne?'

'No,' says Ram, 'we thought we should drink white wine instead.'

'Champagne please,' Mark says firmly to the barman. He knocks back the first glass in one gulp, then proceeds to accidentally knocks three glasses over.

'Everything is jinxed, I should have stayed at home and done interviews on the telephone, everything turns to dust.'

He then cocks his ear to listen to the bar music. 'Oh, Mancini, I have this on my IPod.'

Henri re-appears. 'Okay, it’s all fixed for the day after tomorrow.'

The evening goes on and the conversation between Mark and Ram gets stranger with every bottle of wine and champagne consumed.

'It’s weird being me sometimes,' Mark says.

'It must take a lot of getting used to,' Ram replies.

'You’re only as good as your last interview,' Mark laments.

'And,' Ram adds, 'you just cancelled that one'.

The problem in the bookstore has been sorted. 

'I have spoken to the people of Paris,' Mark confirms. 'I am here to grovel before the book buying public.' Ram then interjects that last night he heard two men talking about the cancellation with one pointing out that he heard the author was too wasted to go on. When Mark hears these rumours he is thrilled. 'How marvellous, in fact that’s fucking excellent.'

Mark is dressed in Armani jeans, boots and a plain white t shirt.

'I am perfectly dressed as an author.' Everyone claps. Mark laughs and proceeds to do a ballet pirouette.

Back at the venue I am directed to sit between Chris and Henri who appears to be shouting at someone down a telephone firstly in French and then in German.

'Sorry, I am talking about income and expenditure,' he says quietly. 'This whole tour is running on my fucking credit card.' I leave him to his telephone calls and find Mark in a dressing room. I decide to knock.

'Come in, the doors only closed for drama.'

Mark is sat with Ram, Chris and another friend JJ who lives in Paris and is visiting for the day. They are discussing music, fashion and where to eat for dinner. Ram then declares he wants his own dressing room.

'Suppose I want to sleep for a bit, I can’t sleep here, Mark is always playing classical music.'

'You’re not the star dear,' Mark fires back. 

They all laugh.

A photographer has been sent by his publishers who want to take a photo of Mark.  He isn’t keen.

'They’ll want to use it for some dodgy promotional purpose or something sneaky.'  But in the end, Mark sits patiently while the photographer takes a few shots.

'You will be informed if a photo is used,' the photographer states.

'Fine. As long as I am copyrighted,' Mark replies.

Henri brings in a whole pile of books for Mark to sign. There is also a pile of posters and postcards to initial and sign also.

'What’s this green one?' Mark enquires. 

No one answers.

Mark tuts but still continues to sign. He then changes into a black jumper and adds a simple scarf around his neck.

'Very French,' Ram nods approvingly. 'You look like a schoolboy in uniform. I bet you looked sexy in your uniform in school.'

'I looked naff but I think everyone should wear one.'

'Because there is no social distinction between people?' Henri asks.

'No, because they kind of look sexy,' Mark replies.

The manager of the bookstore appears. The book launch is about to start.

'You know,' Mark says, 'I’ve got a feeling the French just won’t like this book.'

Mark is on tour to promote his latest novel Now Is Not The Time For Trumpets.

It is a fictionalized retrospective, part interview, part biographical about unreal people set in a real world. To quote from the official press release, the book centres on the life and times of Stephen Wallingford. 

In his early youth he entertained his friends at his family home of Arches and it was here he lived for many years until his death. He was photographed by many of the greatest artistes of his time and become one of the typical images of 1920s and 1930s 'beautiful' young people. He would be seen with painted lips, powder on his face and gold dust sprinkled through his hair. But putting aside all the endless parties and various love affairs, Stephen was actually a very lonely man. Disowned later in life by his two sisters he survived on the friendships of few people including his mother and socialite and fellow writer Agatha Dewsbury. He sought freedom and expression in his writings and published works which are all still in print today. Later in life he became a former shadow of himself, a recluse, obese, redecorating Arches with fishnets, pink satin and golden conch shells. His hair was long and dyed mauve, he wore caftans and many gilded bangles. He became an embarrassment to the few surviving friends he had left and was cut off from his remaining family, so in retaliation and defiance, he decided to shut himself away from the real world and write his memoirs, which were never published in his lifetime.

But there is one small problem.

Stephen Wallingford did not exist, nor did any of his contemporaries featured in this book, for the brutal reason that he was never born. The stories are fake and the news never happened. 

The book was an idea born out of frustration of reading celebrity biographies from reality stars. Mark commented about this in an interview. 

'The characters are similar to the celebrities that are forced upon us today. These bright young people of the 1920s and 30s were written about, photographed, adored, despaired and ultimately hated. With today’s celebrities we vote for them, tweet them, follow them, adore them and then ultimately we wait for their downfall and relish in it. The pattern is the same. You now have a breed of so called celebrities that appear in documentaries and believe that are worthy of their own paper clippings.'

The usual book signing/meet n greet event starts with some music played in the background some nondescript jazz music before a brief introduction to welcome Mark.  Usually he reads the same sections (albeit edited) from his book and then allows the public to ask questions notably about the book or his back catalogue of works. Questions about Mark as a person are out of bounds and off limits. Mark also reads a few pieces from his winter collection of prose Ember Asleep although he is under strict instruction to promote firstly Now Is Not The Time For Trumpets.

Back in a dressing room, Ram struts over to give Mark a hug. 'That went down really well I think, well done mister.'

'The lighting was crap,' Mark states disapprovingly.

'Oh don’t be so fucking negative, they loved it,' Ram continued, although he then agreed with Mark that the lighting was indeed shoddy.

Henri pops his head through the door.

'Everything okay?'

Mark merely glowers. Henri exits.

'I’ve got to get this idea out of my head that this is going to be fun. I guess I am missing my creature comforts. It’s going to be fucking hard work.'

Henri reappears in high spirits.

'The books are selling well, we’ve cleared some old editions and this one is already on a third order. The posters are also being sold.'

Mark smiles obviously delighted. 

'Well, of course, I knew they would love it.'

Everyone laughs.

Ram asks, 'Whose idea was sit to have posters?'

'George Michael,' says Mark, 'I stole his idea.'

Chris re-appears. 

'It was marvellous, you were fabulous, they loved it.'

Mark blushes. 'Thanks lovely,' and then proceeds to do a twirl.

More and more people are popping their heads in, some shop staff and their friends offering their own congratulations. The store downstairs has been cleared and a small buffet has been set up.

'I think I am contracted to go back downstairs and say thanks,' Mark comments.

Henri agrees. 'Yes, you have to shake a few hands, there is champagne.'

Throughout this book tour, Marks management sent out a rider list to all venues, a set of requests or demands that sets as criteria for performance, which are typically fulfilled by the hosting venue. Two lists were sent, hospitality and technical. They mainly deal with transportation, hotels, foods and drinks to be provided etc. Mark jokingly added champagne to this list but this champagne does not meet with approval. 

Hotel.

'Mark’s got a nicer room than mine,' moans Ram. He picks up Mark’s bedtime reading, The Life & Evil Time Of Nicolae Ceucescu. Mark comes back with a bottle of Krugg. 'It’s that all important word, expensive.' 

They finally celebrate.

There is a certain amount of drama as we leave and checkout of the hotel. Everyone is laden with far too much shopping; Chris appears with numerous shopping bags. 'Where have you been?' he calls to Mark. 'I phoned your bedroom thirty times, I had to go shopping on my own.'

'How did it go?'

'I spent over 300.'

It is impossible to tell whether this is good or bad, too much or not enough. Chris and Mark say their goodbyes. Ram discovers his coat is missing and then it magically reappears in the security guards cloakroom. It is all very confusing and after some messy and inconclusive recriminations we leave.

'I expected to be waved off by the hotel manager,' Mark says, 'thank you for coming thank you for spending, the recession can now continue.'

Gare De Lyon. 

Mark is travelling to Beziers with Ram. They are also waiting for another interviewer who has decided to interview Mark on the train. 

Ram is giving Mark a potted history of Stuttgart where he now lives dwelling a while on tales of old absinthe houses.

'It’s illegal now, it makes you mad,' Ram says gravely.

'Can we get some?' Mark asks.

The conversation then turns to American history. Ram spoke of a holiday where he travelled around the country getting lifts on trucks. 

'The truck driver and his mate', says Mark. 'I should have done my travelling years ago, just me a back pack, youth hosteling across Yugoslavia.'

'We don’t call it Yugoslavia anymore.'

'Oh I do miss the cold war, you knew where you were with the Balkans,' Mark says. 

They both laugh.

As they wait, Henri appears and gives Mark a stack of letters and cards that he needs to reply to. He also raises the idea of finding a sponsor.

'I’ve done a huge interview saying how I would never do corporate sponsorship,' Mark says.

'You didn’t,' says Henri quite horrified.

'Yes.'

'When?' asks Henri who is looking for a way to salvage his idea.

'Yesterday.'

'You didn’t mention any names did you?'   

'I think I talked about a few fashion brands, drinks, record labels, bookstores.'

Henri looks a little downcast.

'Sorry Henri, it’s not something I would feel comfortable with.'

Goodbyes are done.

'I hope you change the error of your ways,' Henri says before leaving.

'What the fuck was that supposed to mean?' Ram asks.

'Fuck knows, what are we eating?' Mark replies.

'And as the TGV to Perpignan glides out of Gare De Lyon, Paris, author Mark Binmore orders a mineral water leans back in his seat and puts his electronic menthol cigarette in his mouth. The train manager starts rattling out the obligatory welcome and details of the journey. Mark tuts and, when the announcement finishes, starts to speak. He's interrupted by a bizarre Spanish version. When this finally ends, he mutters 'Thank f*** he doesn't speak German, we'd be here all night.'

Tefu.

'Mark brought us a very special opening to his book tour here in Paris. When I asked him if he was like the elegant Stephen from his novel he admitted, 'I don’t really have the answer for that.'

Paris News.

––––––––

I am allowed to stay overnight at Mark’s south of France home. His partner is in London. The interview on the train worked out well and by Lyon the interviewer had jumped trains and was going back to Paris.

'Bizarre, why not interview you in Paris?' Ram questioned. Mark does not answer but is smiling as he sleeps.

The following morning.

Mark has changed from his status as an author into his hotelier ego and quickly inspects his home ready for new arriving guests. It’s a quirky home, characteristic, open beams, cluttered junk but with an amazing tranquil view of the garden and river.  I get a rough guided tour before I am told to lose myself for a few hours and enjoy the city. When I return, Mark is sprawled on a garden sofa flicking through publishing reports on how his book has fared in the first weeks of sales. UK sales are moderate; Switzerland is showing excellent as are Turkey, Spain and Netherlands. It would appear in Czech Republic the book has entered the national book selling chart at #10 while in Germany it is at #19. 

'I’m officially a hit,' Mark says and smiles, 'until the critics came forth.'

There is more news from Belgium. After a book chart entry at #180, this week the book has risen to #178. 'I must thank those five fans,' Mark laughs.

Ram is in the kitchen preparing drinks. I’m intrigued by his relationship with Mark and ask several questions. Some are replied with just a look and nod, others are simply ignored. 

'We met years ago, we became good friends, very good friends and then we lost touch. Long story short we met again a few years back and that’s that.' Ram does not elaborate further. 'He used to write when I first met him, crazy stuff, lyrics, songs, he was always typing in his Soho flat. He would set up office on his balcony, look down at the streets below and what was going on around him and just type, but he was unsure whether they would get published but I just kept saying to him to write and write. I am really proud of him now, he had a dream and it’s working out.'

But without you I say. 

Ram stares back, 'Drink?' he offers before walking away. 

The Grind.

'Oh dear,' sighs Mark.

He has just arrived in Bristol.

'I have not been here for years,' he says.

This is what Mark has described as a flying visit. He is here to do one interview, designated time one hour, before boarding another train to a different city. We wait in a reception area that looks and smells like a hospital corridor and we chat about book titles. Mark is keen to collect all his unpublished song lyrics for a limited edition book, or simply to give to musicians to see if any of them could be adjusted and used. 

'In Depth, that’s a good one,' says Mark. Apparently Claudine had suggested Pink which he has refused.

The interviewer comes in, introduces herself and asks Mark what he would like the questions to be about. Mark shrugs. 

'How about anything personal?' she inquires.

'I don’t have a personal life,' says Mark firmly.

She reconsiders. 'Hobbies?'

'Yes, that’s a good one,' replies Mark, although it’s hard to judge whether he is being serious or not. 

'I could just rant about things,' he then suggests, 'but if I do rant, I might go on and on.'

She nods.

'How about telephone calls? I don’t mind those.'

'Yes, calls are good.'

She looks pleased and relived; as if this was something she wanted but had been too timid to ask.

In the studio some sandwiches have been laid on.

'Rather a poor effort,' remarks Mark, 'they’re still in their supermarket wrappings.'

The interviewer suggests Mark starts by saying hello. He starts, 'Hello, this is Mark Binmore.'

The interview begins with her playing Mark’s favourite single; he has chosen Wuthering Heights by Kate Bush. As it plays, she asks him, off microphone, if he could talk about the song afterwards.

'Yes', threatens Mark,' I can talk about it for hours.' The interview goes well, Mark is teased for eating sandwiches whilst live on air, and conversations drift between fashion, hats, shoes, music, films. The interviewer mentions that Mark is from 'this neck of the woods,' to which he cuts in, 'well, nearby,' and mentions he trained as an actor.

'I guess this is where you started to compose,' she says.

'Umm, probably,' Mark replies.

More questions, mainly about the book,