Out of Love: The LaFontaines, #3

By E.M. Bannock

After a spiritual visitation from the White Wolf, Nina and Wolf are compelled to spend the summer exploring the locations of their past lives together as Lakota Sioux. Many of the memories are pleasant and filled with family and love. However, the recollections of battles, massacres, and government boarding schools are not. Emotions that resurface with the memories of these horrific events are almost too much to endure.

Meanwhile, their sons, Laine and Takota, remain behind to manage the family bison ranch in Red Lodge, Montana. Then, unexpectedly, Takota's wife, Clementine, must return to Wisconsin to deal with a family emergency. The strength of Tak and Clem's love is tested when ex-lovers reappear and rekindle fiery feelings of the past. Can Lakota values and culture show them the path to forgiveness and the way forward, or will temptation and desire extinguish the flame of their love?

• Language: English
• Publisher: E.M. Bannock
• Release date: Jul 11, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223696506

E.M. Bannock

E.M. Bannock grew up in the Detroit suburbs in the 50’s and 60’s. Her father was a great story teller and E.M. says she inherited his imagination. After graduation, E.M. moved to Los Angeles, California where she met her husband. They have lived in California, Oregon, Alaska, Florida, and Wyoming, where she now lives with her small family which includes a spoiled dog and cat, two horses, also spoiled, and a brood of chickens that live like queens in the chicken-coupe-de-ville. She has made her living as an office manager, computer programmer/analysts, project manager, clothing store clerk, substitute teacher, and buffalo meat packer. Throughout it all, she never lost her love for writing. A small inheritance from her father gave her the funds needed to begin her career as a published author. She has published two books. Her first book, Totally Devoted, which is now available in audio, was a 2019 National Excellence in Romance Fiction finalist in two categories; Contemporary Romance 65K Words and Up, and Best First Book. Her second book Zoey’s Place was published in 2019. Out of Dreams, the first book of her Rock Mountain Romance Series is set for publication in early 2021. She writes for the love of it. Most of what she writes touches her personally. Close friends and family can spot the moments. The vivid and detailed location descriptions are usually from her own experiences. Researching for accuracy is part of her writing process. She especially enjoys hearing from and interacting with her readers. E.M. Bannock is a Goodreads Author, a BookHub Author, a member of the Romance Writers of America, and a Rocky Mountain Fiction Writer. Web site: www.embannock.com Facebook: E.M. Bannock – Author Twitter: @EMBannock Instagram: e_m_bannock

Book preview

Out of Love

The Lafontaines – Book3

E.M. Bannock

OUT OF LOVE. E.M. Bannock

Copyright © 2023 E.M. Bannock

Model photo provided by Istock Photo

Cover Created by E.M. Bannock and Sam Haberstroh

This is a fictional work. The names, characters, and incidents are solely the concepts and products of the author’s imagination or are used to create a fictitious story and should not be construed as real.

Author website: www.embannock.com

No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations, reviews, and articles. For any other permission, please contact E.M. Bannock at [e-mail].

Vellum flower icon Created with Vellum

DEDICATED TO

The Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women who will never be found. May the Great Spirit welcome you and grant you peace.

SPECIAL THANKS

To my sister, Annette, for your help and input.

To my grandson, Sam, for your graphics skills,

To my friend, Ande, for being my trusty beta reader,

To my good friend, Jackie, who did my editing. Just thanks.

To my husband for his continued support.

Thank you all.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Throughout my life, I have read many books on the indigenous people who lived on this land before the Euro-invasion. My heart breaks by the time I've completed them. I feel a great affinity for their plight and can only imagine the helpless horror of having your land and culture taken from you in only a few generations. In this series of books, The LaFontaines, I want to make more people aware of this. It's a part of our history that is not taught in our schools but should be. To learn from our mistakes, we must acknowledge that mistakes were made.

In my books, I only scratch the surface of the injustices these first citizens have endured through time. I find myself particularly attracted to the Lakota culture. Like many other indigenous cultures, it is rich in spirituality, virtue, and personal character, emphasizing family, including all humanity, and the plant and animal kingdom. The book The Lakota Way, by Joseph M. Marshall III, is a beautiful and sometimes sad look at the proud Lakota people through stories and life lessons from the People themselves. If only we could have incorporated some of their ways into ours instead of trying to destroy their very existence, we would have a different world today.

As part of my research, I also read Marshall’s book The Day the World Ended at Little Bighorn, a Lakota History. It is the true history that should be taught in schools. Thank you, Joseph M. Marshall III, for writing your books. They’ve changed my life.

I visited Little Big Horn Battleground after I read his books and others on the subject. The trip was very emotional for me and I’ve tried to express some of what I felt while there, in Nina and Wolf’s reactions.

PROLOGUE

...a t times I almost dream

I, too, have spent a life the sages' way,

And tread once more familiar paths.

Perchance I perished in an arrogant self-reliance

Ages ago; and in that act, a prayer

For one more chance went up so earnest, so

Instinct with better light let in by death,

That life was blotted out-not so completely

But scattered wrecks enough of it remain,

Dim memories, as now, when once more seems

The goal in sight again...

Robert Browning from Paracelsus

CHAPTER 1

The wind played on the branches of the lilacs, brushing them noisily onto the side of the house. It was enough to wake Nina. The sun had not yet risen, but she could tell it was early dawn. The horizon had lightened slightly with low-hanging clouds that glowed with pale pastel hues.

She looked over at her husband lying next to her in bed. Wolf was still deeply asleep. Strong emotions rose from her heart, making her take a deep breath. She loved him more now than ever. Not because he'd saved her life and pulled her out of the frigid river after she'd fallen off her horse last year. But since their first meeting, he'd been her protector, savior, and lover for what seemed like all eternity. Both believed their love had sustained them in this life and numerous other lifetimes before.

She never grew tired of looking at him. Although his father was French, his mother’s Lakota Sioux features were dominant. He had his ancestors' striking high cheekbones, solid square chin, and noble nose. His physical strength had not lessened with the passing years. The hard labor needed to work their bison ranch had kept his body fit.

She quivered and savored pleasant memories of being held in his powerful arms. Then, as if he could feel her looking at him, his dark almond-shaped eyes opened, and he smiled.

Good morning, my beautiful wife. He yawned and stretched. Why are you staring at me?

She smiled back. No reason. I just like looking at you.

Fair enough, he answered, grinning in that way that made her body tingle. I like looking at you, too. In fact, I’d like to do more than look at you. Feeling aroused, he reached out and pulled her close.

His body was warm under the blankets, and she could feel his need for her growing hard against her thigh. Her body responded as his hands gently moved down her back, taking a firm hold of her from behind.

Did the wind wake you? He knew what a light sleeper she was. The smallest sound was enough to rouse her from her slumber. When their boys were babies, she woke to the monitor's slightest sound. As they got older, she could hear them sneaking into the house past curfew, no matter how quiet they tried to be.

Yes, she said and buried herself into his chest, feeling the soft hairs against her cheek. There's a storm moving in.

She’d grown up in Florida and had experienced horrific hurricanes. Knowing how uneasy the wind made her feel, Wolf stroked her dark brown hair back and kissed her forehead. I'm here. I won't let anything happen to you. You're safe.

I know, she smiled up at him. My warrior protector.

"I love you, winúhča ¹." His voice was soft and soothing.

"And I love you, wičháhca ². She pressed her body against him and felt his desire rise. Her thighs were tingling with a passionate need. Slowly she rubbed her leg against him, thrusting herself on his hardness. Take me now, husband."

Woman, he growled with fervent hunger. When your body talks like that, I want you even more.

They started their day with love.

She came out of the bathroom after her shower and could smell the rich aroma of coffee brewing in the kitchen. Wolf was sitting outside on the deck meditating. She watched him as she dressed.

He sat straight-backed and stone still in his chair. When his body relaxed, his hand gestures told her he was giving thanks to Wakantanka ³. When he turned, he saw her looking at him through the glass. He smiled as he entered through the sliding door.

She was different from any of the women he’d ever dated. He hadn’t had that many girlfriends, but she was the first non-indigenous woman he’d ever been attracted to, not that her race mattered. But, at their first touch, she radiated unique energy through him that went deeper than who she was or her skin color. There was something electric in her look. A familiar connection was made as their eyes locked.

Wolf had dreamt of her before they met. The dream spirits had brought her vision to him, and although it seemed strange at the time, he was sure she was the one he was meant to be with.

Steam rolled out of the bathroom when she opened the door after her shower.

Did you leave me any hot water? he asked, already knowing the answer.

You might want to have your coffee first, she said as she opened her jewelry box and took out a pair of beaded earrings.

Laughing, he leaned in and kissed her gently. Can I make you breakfast this morning?

No, thanks. I'm just going to have some yogurt, she replied. We've still got to pack the car. I want to get to Bozeman before lunchtime. Besides, I'm too excited to eat. It seems like a lifetime since we've seen Tak and Clem.

It’s been exactly one month, he said, teasing her. They can’t exactly attend college from home.

I know. But it seems longer than that. At least this time they’ll be home for good, she said as they walked to the kitchen. Before sitting at the table, she grabbed a yogurt container from the fridge and a spoon from the drawer. Wolf had already placed a hot cup of coffee in front of her. Every time I see them, they change. There’s something different about them.

They got married and are a year older. That’ll do it every time. He sipped the cup of hot java in his hand.

Oh, stop! she admonished. They’re still kids.

You see them as kids, he reminded, but they graduate from college in two days, and we’ll be celebrating their first wedding anniversary in three weeks. Think about us after our first year. We were different, too.

I guess you’re right, she conceded. But Rose and Laine don’t seem different.

We see them every day, he said. Besides, they aren’t married yet.

She gave him a sideways look with furrowed eyes. You are so bad.

Isn’t that why you love me? he said innocently with a mischievous half-smile.

Nina felt good knowing that her sons had finally found their life mates. She loved her son, Tak’s wife, Clementine, the first time they met her two years ago. She got a good feeling from the talented young woman. Tak had invited her to help build Laine’s house that summer. The two had met on campus as gaming buddies. But their friendship budded into something more. To Nina’s delight, Clem admitted her love for Tak before they returned to school after their break but said she wanted Tak to come to her on his own. Which he did.

Rose came into their lives after Laine had a tumultuous relationship and marriage with a woman who only intended to steal the ranch from them in a misguided revenge plot with her brother. The woman, Hope, had tricked Laine into marriage by falsely claiming she was pregnant. Their relationship ended in tragedy when her brother was killed. Only then did she admit the ruse.

After that, Laine fell into a deep depression that worried the whole family. It lifted after much spiritual guidance and divine intervention involving dream visions from Nina’s best friend, Elaine Grant, who was also Rose’s aunt and had died the year Laine was born. Nina believed it was her friend’s otherworldly influence that brought Rose to Red Lodge and the fortuitous meeting with Laine. They weren’t legally married, but Rose was a part of the family in every way.

After a fall from her horse the previous summer, Nina was hospitalized in a coma that lasted for two weeks.

It was touch and go with her physical body for a while, but luckily, she pulled through. When she was released from the hospital three days after awakening, her family shared the responsibility for her care. Wolf was with her twenty-four hours a day for the first two weeks. The horror he felt in those initial few hours after her fall, not knowing if she would survive, and the weeks that followed while she was unconscious were pure torture. The thought of losing her was unbearable.

He’d decided no one could care for her better than himself, which he did. He fed her, bathed her, dressed her, and most of all, loved and cherished her. But after the first couple of weeks, at Nina’s insistence, Clem and Rose took over her recovery.

While in the coma, her unconscious mind floated through the cosmos, and she had a visitation from a White Wolf who showed her past lives as a Lakota Sioux.

Although she shared the vision of the White Wolf with her husband, she’d told no one else. She thought it best not to mention it to the hospital staff, thinking they might feel she had some kind of brain damage. She didn’t even share it with her sons. It was something private and personal, shared only with Wolf.

But things changed at the end of summer break when Takota and Clem were getting ready to return to Montana State University (MSU) for their senior year. On the night of the full moon, Nina dreamt of the White Wolf. She remembered it clearly.

She walked through a forest and breathed in nature's crisp, fresh scent. The sound of her feet crunching on the fallen leaves was rhythmic and soothing. When she looked up, she marveled at the clear, deep blue sky above as it peeked out from behind the tree leaves. Mountains encircled her, a sense of happiness and love reflecting in everything around, and her body felt at peace. There was a clearing by a lake at the end of the path. Feeling relaxed, she sat on a nearby tree stump. Closing her eyes, she breathed in deeply. When she opened them, the White Wolf was standing before her. An aura of pure energy shimmered around him.

Her heart was filled with joy when she saw him, and she smiled. The giant wolf sat before her, and she embraced him around the neck. He leaned his head in toward her affectionately.

Daughter, he said in a loving tone. I must speak with you.

She pulled back and stood before him, anxious to hear what he had to say. The first time she saw him, he had explained that he was the spirit of the love she shared with Wolf.

Now he continued, Your journey was incomplete. You were called back from the spirit world too early to see all of your past. There is still more to know and experience. Much of your story of love was left untold. You and your husband have experienced great happiness in your lifetimes together, also sorrow.

I remember, she said, recalling what she’d already seen.

The vibrations created by your love continue reverberating through time and penetrate the soul of your many life consciousnesses. Some vibrations remain strong and must be felt in more than one lifetime. This is that time. These you must experience with the fullness of mind.

He didn’t tell her how it would happen but assured her that spirits would guide her on her journey. Then, before she could ask any more questions, he vanished.

The morning after, she told Wolf about her dream. She was convinced that they had to go to the locations of their past lives. Wolf agreed, and she began to organize their summer trip. But the task was difficult. Wolf had recognized some of the locations she described from her visions, but many more were just nondescript flashes of places. Then she remembered that the White Wolf said that spirits would guide her. She hoped they would appear soon.

There was much planning to do. Tak and Clem would need to help Laine and Rose take care of the family bison ranch during the summer while Nina and Wolf traveled.

Wolf’s brother, Manny, had backed away from day-to-day operations and was only there to lend a hand when extra help was needed. In addition, his wife, Kevee, had become active in the Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women (MMIW) movement, helping resolve the wave of unsolved crimes in the indigenous community. She wanted to help end the violence against Native women and make people aware of the disproportionate amount who go missing or are murdered each year compared to women from other groups.

She had seen documentation showing that four out of five Native women experience violence, twice as likely as white women. In addition, they face murder rates ten times the national average, three times more than white women. And yet, authorities had done little to address the issue. Consequently, her efforts required her to spend much of her time on the Crow Reservation.

Last year, a week after Tak and Clem had returned for their senior year at college, Nina treated Rose to lunch in Red Lodge. She wanted to share her vision. Knowing that Rose had learned meditation and much about Laine's Lakota culture and spirituality that summer, she hoped Rose would understand her deep need to take the adventure.

After the two women had enjoyed a delicious lunch at Bogart’s, Nina told Rose about her revelations and quest plans. The young woman's face was animated as Nina told her about the visitation of the White Wolf while she was in a coma. When she finished telling her about the second time the White Wolf appeared to her, the look on Rose’s face was astonishment.

She was visibly excited as Nina spoke. Do you believe in reincarnation and past lives? Nina had asked at the end.

Are you shitting me? Rose had exclaimed with glee with her typical blunt candor.

Rose’s mannerisms reminded Nina of Elaine Grant, her best friend, and Rose’s aunt. Not only that, but her dear departed, Lainie had played an essential role in getting Laine and Rose together with messages from the dream and spirit world. Laine had been named for Lainie after her untimely death just before his birth.

No, I’m not shitting you, Rose, Nina laughed. Then, she learned of Rose’s lifelong interest in past lives and reincarnation.

Rose could hardly contain herself. Of course I do. Reincarnation and past life regression have been kind of a lifelong interest of mine.

Really? Nina was only slightly surprised, knowing that her son was spiritually aware and had been tutoring Rose. Well, I think I’m supposed to know more about these lives and visit the places where they took place.

That is so cool. Rose said she got interested in past-life theory after reading Many Masters, Many Lives, by Dr. Brian L. Weiss, in high school. She eventually read all of his books. She’d also read books by other authors on reincarnation and past lives, but none had been more factual and genuine in her mind than Dr. Weiss’. The validated incidents were numerous and accurate in every detail.

She told Nina about a regression therapist in Helena who’d studied with Dr. Weiss and now conducted regression therapy sessions independently. When they got home, they looked up the Helena therapist and made an appointment for Nina. The doctor suggested that Wolf attend as well. As part of the preparation, she and Wolf read Many Masters, Many Lives and Only Love Is Real, both by Dr. Weiss, to know what to expect.

Rose couldn’t wait to tell Laine the news when he got home from work that night. The family’s Lakota Sioux culture placed great importance on the spirit world. Laine had been blessed and shared his mother’s gift of spirit visitations and dream experiences. He wanted to know more about the White Wolf. So, after dinner, they went to his parent's house and Nina told him everything.

Nina and Wolf had three sessions in Helena with Dr. Annette Mukherjee, a regression therapist from India. Because her last name was hard to pronounce, she preferred to be called Dr. Annette. Nina and Wolf were not disappointed. Strong memories surfaced, bringing powerful emotions and feelings, and the sessions were recorded for future reference. Dr. Annette asked about the locations of the memories as Nina and Wolf were experiencing them. During many of the indigenous lives, the names were not what they are known as today, so Dr. Annette asked them to give detailed descriptions of the areas so they could be pinpointed. Nina spent the fall and winter researching the visions and mapping out their locations. It had been a labor of love, and she was anxious to experience them, even though some would not be so joyous.

CHAPTER 2

Nina also told Tak and Clem about the White Wolf the following weekend during their regular Facetime call. She was relieved and excited that they, too, were interested and excited about the otherworldly encounters and planned adventures.

Their sons saw no trouble taking care of the ranch alone during the summer. Tak and Clem would also be responsible for caring for Pitch and Torch, the family dogs. Wolf assured them he wouldn’t leave until after the fields had been fertilized and would be there for most of the June bison birthing season. Luckily, unlike cows, bison rarely needed help giving birth. After that, things would be pretty routine, feeding the herd and irrigating the fields. Manny would be available in case of emergency.

By the end of winter, the trip had been planned. Her past life visions were filled with intense emotions during the colonization of her people. But there were many joyful visions as well. Some had been identified as taking place in the Black Hills, or Pahá Sápa, as the indigenous people called it. It was before the Euro invasion. They were glorious times filled with happiness, children, and love.

Nina knew their journey would be one of joy and sorrow but also knew it was one she had to take. Wolf knew it, too. So, they were both apprehensive and excited.

But now, it was time to celebrate Takota and Clementine’s graduation. The kids had worked very hard in the last four years, and both were graduating with honors. Nina and Wolf were proud of them both. Tak’s Computer and Agricultural Engineering studies had already enhanced the ranch's productivity. Most of the equipment they used was computerized, from the irrigation systems to the heavy agricultural machines they used to grow and harvest hay. His knowledge had been put to good use when they upgraded many of the ranch devices the previous year. It made for a smooth transition.

Unfortunately, it also made Manny realize that he was part of the old generation of ranchers. He’d always done things the way his father, Vincent, had taught him. Computers and technology were confusing. He was lucky he could use a cell phone. It convinced him to let the younger generation of LaFontaines take a more active role. As a result, the work could be done more efficiently with less manual labor and cost in the long run. Besides, he’d already worked hard his whole life. So, he gladly stepped aside and was ready to spend more time enjoying life with his wife while they were both healthy and able.

Wolf had always been good with computers. Having two sons kept him young and active. Consequently, he wasn’t ready to give it up yet. But he was looking forward to taking the summer off to explore the past life locations with Nina.

Clem was graduating with a degree in Computer Engineering. Her specialty was networks and communications. She wanted to start her own business setting up and maintaining systems for companies in the area. Because most of the work could be done remotely, she was willing to cover customers throughout Montana and northern Wyoming.

On the way to Bozeman, Nina and Wolf drove through a small, windy rainstorm, but the skies had cleared when they reached their destination, arriving in time for an early lunch at Nina’s favorite Italian restaurant. She savored her eggplant parmesan, and Wolf enjoyed his sausage and mushroom calzone.

After checking into their hotel, they still had enough time to rest before meeting the kids at their off-campus apartment. Clem’s parents wouldn’t arrive in Bozeman until the following day, so it would just be the four of them for the evening. The kids were treating them to takeout dinner from their favorite Thai restaurant.

Tak and Clem greeted them at the door with loving hugs and kisses, and Nina couldn’t help but cry at the reunion. Looking around, she could see that the apartment was in disarray. Most of Tak’s and Clem’s belongings were packed in boxes and stacked by the door. Not much furniture remained. They’d sold what they could. Many remaining pieces were promised to friends and would be gone by the end of the weekend. Since Tak and Clem planned to live with Nina and Wolf during their first year, they didn’t see the need to keep the inexpensive second-hand furnishings that had already served their purpose. In addition, they were still involved with the tech crowd on campus. Many had plans to move from the dorms to an apartment the following semester and were grateful for the handout.

After a delicious dinner of everyone's favorite Thai food, they talked about their summer plans. Things would be different for everyone. There would be much more responsibility for the brothers without their father to guide them. Luckily, running the ranch was something they’d grown up with, and it was familiar territory.

Clem was excited to start her business but happy to chip in and do her share of the office work, picking up the slack in Nina’s absence. She’d have a few weeks of training before being on her own. Most bills were paid online as well as the banking and payroll and Laine and Tak had already been authorized to sign checks.

Nina and Wolf left the apartment at about eight and returned to their hotel.

Let’s go down to the hot tub, Wolf suggested. I bet all the little kids have been tucked in for the night.

Sounds good, Nina agreed, placing her hands on her hips and stretching back. My old bones could use a good soaking.

Mine, too, Wolf agreed. If you want, I’ll give you a nice massage when we come back here.

She laughed. I was hoping you’d do more than that.

He sidled up to her and kissed her passionately. I thought that was a given.

What is it about a hotel room that I find so sexy? she asked. She could feel his cock getting hard as it pressed against her.

I don’t know, he answered, "but we better get down there now, or I’ll have to take you before and after."

Tempting, she said as she grabbed her bathing suit from her overnight bag and disappeared into the bathroom to change.

CHAPTER 3

Dee and Clement McDermott had just arrived when Wolf and Nina got to the apartment the following afternoon. Commencement ceremonies weren’t until the next day at the Brick Breeden Fieldhouse Arena on campus.

Seeing them was good. It had been almost a year since their last meeting at Tak and Clem’s wedding, although they’d jumped in on the McDermott’s virtual holiday phone call with Tak and Clem to exchange greetings of the season.

Dee and Clement were good people who loved their three daughters with the same zeal and intensity that Wolf and Nina loved their sons. They’d invited the LaFontaines to family functions, even if it was virtual. Knowing that Tak’s in-laws had embraced him and considered his family part of their family gave them solace. It was the way humans were meant to act. It was how Wankatanka wanted them to be, the Lakota way. The LaFontaines welcomed Clem’s family as well and had extended an open invitation to the ranch.

After a joyous greeting, they had lunch together at a local alehouse to catch up on each other's lives and express pride in their children's achievements. Dee and Clement showed Nina and Wolf the latest pictures of their first grandchild, Lisa, born that past November.

I think she’s going to be a singer, proud Grandma Dee exclaimed as she showed off pictures of the curly-haired, six-month-old infant, most of which depicted the endearing cherub-faced child with her mouth wide open. She’s very outspoken and developing a solid set of vocal cords. We love her dearly.

She’s adorable. The sweet young face had melted Nina’s heart. It must be so much fun to have her around.

It is. Dee’s face was beaming with maternal love. She nodded her head over toward her husband. The little nugget’s already got that big lug wrapped around her little finger. Grandpa, over there, turns to mush whenever she smiles at him.

Nina grinned.

I tell him it’s just gas!

Both women shared a moment of happiness.

After lunch, they parted ways. The night before, Nina and Wolf had the kids to themselves, so it was the McDermott’s turn tonight. Nina and Wolf didn’t mind. For them, it would be date night. They’d already decided to have dinner at the hotel restaurant and knew which movie they were going to watch, well, attempt to watch. They both knew that they would never make it to the happy ending without either one or both of them having a happy ending of their own.

On the way back to the hotel, Wolf’s hand slowly found its way across the console and onto Nina’s thigh.

She looked down, then over to the growing bulge beneath his jeans. The area below his cock was stretched to the limit. It looked a little painful.

Oh, my, wičháhca, she commented calmly, has the thought of the sweetness between my thighs made you so excited already?

"Winúhča, you still have a kind of magic over me, like the