Kids Are Worth It: Let the Good Times Grow!

By Donna Lynn Sheehy

I've spent a lot of time with children--resulting in many moments when I've had growing concerns.

Yikes! What in the name of crazy do I do now?

Sometimes I've had to live in survival mode. Anybody else know what I'm talking about?

Over time, I discovered some tips and tricks here and there.

Sometimes my mom life inspired me with ideas for the classroom and sometimes it was the other way around.

Kids Are Worth It is about parenting and teaching children.

My experiences in the classroom have helped to shape the way I see our most vulnerable little citizens. It makes sense to me that we should look to teachers for inspiration for raising our children outside the structured school setting.

I'm hoping that what I've written can be a springboard for helping parents and others who have relationships with kiddos. My objective is not to present an exact formula but rather, share ideas with the expectation that adults will naturally personalize them for their child's unique personality and unique situations.

All I really know is that with little rule testers, I needed all the help I could get while always looking for an end that resulted in healthy, self-confident, humble, and kind little souls.

So let's always ask, "Are we doing what's best for the children?" because together, we can do more than merely survive. We can thrive!

Our kids make this world of craziness worth it.

Let the good times grow!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Jun 29, 2023
• ISBN: 9798887517605

Book preview

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Kids Are Worth It

Let the Good Times Grow!

Donna Lynn Sheehy

ISBN 979-8-88751-759-9 (paperback)

ISBN 979-8-88751-760-5 (digital)

Copyright © 2023 by Donna Lynn Sheehy

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

-Chapter 1-

Taking Off the Blinders

Because Reality Doesn't Include Rose-Colored Glasses

(two-minute read)

-Chapter 2-

Remembering that the Babies Will Turn into Teenagers

Looking Down the Road

(four-minute read)

-Chapter 3-

Being the Couch

The Couch: It's Always There, It's Quietly Reassuring, It's Familiar, It Comforts You

(six-minute read)

-Chapter 4-

Feeding Them When They Are Hungry

No More Picky Eaters

(four-minute read)

-Chapter 5-

Letting Their Name Be Safe in Your Mouth

A Name Is Who You Are; It Is Woven Deep into Your Being

(two-minute read)

-Chapter 6-

Parenting Your Unique Child

Is There a Formula for Raising the Kids?

(five-minute read)

-Chapter 7-

Giving Your Baby the Gift of Boundaries

The Little Elephant Was Carefully Attended, as His Safety and Welfare Were Paramount

(three-minute read)

-Chapter 8-

Getting in Trouble Is a Stinky Way to Learn the Rules

Sharing the Recipe for Success

(four-minute read)

-Chapter 9-

Learning the Rules Before They're Randomly Broken

It's Okay to Spell It Out

(four-minute read)

-Chapter 10-

Hot and Cold Parenting Style

You're Cold, You're Hot

(four-minute read)

-Chapter 11-

Guiding the Stubborn Child

The Stubborn Child Has the Skill Set to Fight Injustice and Other Noble Endeavors

(four-minute read)

-Chapter 12-

Sending a Message to Young Mothers

I Judge You Not

(two-minute read)

-Chapter 13-

Heading Children Off When Meltdown Mode Threatens

Be Deliberate and Don't Ignore the Signs

(three-minute read)

-Chapter 14-

Helping the Helicopter Parent

Give Your Offspring the Gift of Independence

(five-minute read)

-Chapter 15-

Planning Some Boredom into Each Day

Should I Be Responsible for Entertaining My Kids Every Single Minute of Their Waking Day?

(five-minute read)

-Chapter 16-

Falling Out of Friendship

Spinning the Spider-y Tale

(four-minute read)

-Chapter 17-

Stopping Childhood Tormentors

Teach Kids to Stand Their Ground

(three-minute read)

-Chapter 18-

Keeping the Kiddos Safe

Wrestling Matches and Beyond; It's Time for a Plan

(four-minute read)

-Chapter 19-

Crying Wolf

Do I Need to Call an Ambulance?

(five-minute read)

-Chapter 20-

Worrying about Uncombed Hair

A Positive Self-Image Is Key

(four-minute read)

-Chapter 21-

Making Your Kids Make Their Beds

It's About Growing into Tomorrow with a Plan

(five-minute read)

-Chapter 22-

Competing Your Way through Life

I Have to Admit, I've Contributed to the Competition Mindset Myself

(three-minute read)

-Chapter 23-

Comparing Children and Puppies

Life Lessons Inspired by the Wayward Pup

(five-minute read)

-Chapter 24-

Reading Readiness

My Child Can Read; Can Yours?

(seven-minute read)

-Chapter 25-

Children Thinking of Themselves as Readers

Avoid the Stumbling Block

(three-minute read)

-Chapter 26-

Entertaining Your Children with Books

All It Takes Is Stacking and Piling Books—Here and There and Everywhere

(three-minute read)

-Chapter 27-

Reading Skills Acquired! Now What?

It's Book Club Time for You and Your Child

(four-minute read)

-Chapter 28-

Encouraging Wee Writers Begins with Storytelling

Deliberately Prepare Them to Engage Their Imaginations

(six-minute read)

-Chapter 29-

Age-Appropriate Learning

Start with a Proper Pencil Grip

(three-minute read)

-Chapter 30-

Learning Math Is All Fun and Games

Miniature Mathematicians Are Blissfully Unaware, while Learning Camouflaged Math Concepts and Skills

(four-minute read)

-Chapter 31-

Creating Childhood Art

There Is Always Beauty in the Experience

(four-minute read)

-Chapter 32-

Planning for Your Kindergartner's First Day

Tips for School Success

(three-minute read)

-Chapter 33-

Raising Children to the Highest Bar Possible

Please Don't Say, I Always Hated Math, so My Child Will Too

(two-minute read)

-Chapter 34-

Learning Life Lessons at Garage Sales

Adorable Little Bargain Hunters Search for Treasure

(five-minute read)

-Chapter 35-

Choosing to Give Children the Gift of Time

Let Them Heal; Let Them Grow

(six-minute read)

-Chapter 36-

A Babysitting Co-Op Was Just the Ticket for Me

I Needed People I Could Really Trust to Help Me Watch My Babies

(six-minute read)

-Chapter 37-

Understanding Each Other Is Key

Communication and Transparency for the Win

(four-minute read)

-Chapter 38-

Paying-It-Forward Mentality

Keep the Merry-Go-Round of Kindness and Understanding Going!

(four-minute read)

-Chapter 39-

Addressing the Mess

A Picture-Perfect Play Area Is Not Exactly the Goal

(five-minute read)

-Chapter 40-

Avoiding the Clutter

Where Did You Put My Shoes?

(five-minute read)

-Chapter 41-

Making a Mess Means Not Missing Out

Because the Messiest Things in Life Are Some of the Best

(three-minute read)

-Chapter 42-

Meeting Advocate Responsibilities

I Had Been Taught to Be a Rule Follower and Non-Challenger of Authority Figures

(five-minute read)

-Chapter 43-

Practicing Moderation and Variety with Children

There Are Many Elements to Choose From in the Daily Routines of Our Little Ones

(seven-minute read)

-Chapter 44-

Choosing to Rebound

Munchkin Mickey Fans Go to Disney

(seven-minute read)

-Chapter 45-

Embracing Traditions

My Heart Melted in Unison with the Ice Cube

(four-minute read)

-Chapter 46-

Believing in Santa and Having a Plan for the Big Reveal

Some Personal Tips that May Work as a Springboard for Your Unique Family

(six-minute read)

-Chapter 47-

Shooting the Children Feels Wrong to Me

Do Things like Laser Tag Have Anything to Do with Today's Penchant for Violence?

(three-minute read)

-Chapter 48-

Thinking like a Kid

Rainy Days Foster Creativity

(five-minute read)

-Chapter 49-

Making Sure Your Munchkins Don't Miss Out

Childhood's Treasured Bucket List

(four-minute read)

-Chapter 50-

Checking the Happy Box

Setting Your Family Up for Some Legacy Memories

(three-minute read)

-Chapter 51-

Insisting on Swimming Skills

Becoming a Strong Swimmer Isn't Meant for Competitors Only

(four-minute read)

-Chapter 52-

Navigating the Balance Beam of Life

The Super Highway of Choices

(five-minute read)

-Chapter 53-

Looking for the Parent Supervision

Children Left to Their Own Immature Devices

(two-minute read)

-Chapter 54-

Strategizing for the Teenager's Success

High School Success Is a Major Milestone

(five-minute read)

-Chapter 55-

Banning the Boyfriend

Don't Make Him Even More Desirable

(four-minute read)

-Chapter 56-

Setting Curfews

You Can't Suddenly Throw this Parenting Thing into Gear When They Walk through the Front Door of Their High School

(five-minute read)

-Chapter 57-

Reflecting My Parents

It's Unacceptable Were the Only Words that Came to Mind

(six-minute read)

-Chapter 58-

Keeping a Steady Pace

We Should All Take My Dad's Advice

(three-minute read)

-Chapter 59-

Being a Role Model

The Kids Are Always Watching

(four-minute read)

-Chapter 60-

Adding Insult to Injury

No Parents Allowed

(three-minute read)

-Chapter 61-

Giving Up My Dream Job

My Children's Success Was Phasing It Out

(seven-minute read)

-Chapter 1-

Taking Off the Blinders

Because Reality Doesn't Include Rose-Colored Glasses

(two-minute read)

I may have temporarily forgotten what it's like to live with small children twenty-four seven, but it was brought back into clear focus after spending a week with our little precious sprouts.

Off came the blinders that I didn't realize I was wearing.

After watching the grandchildren (sans parents), I remembered the following:

They don't eat what you fix.

They ignore you when you call their name.

They are geniuses at delaying bedtime.

They make no sense.

They want to eat twenty-four seven.

Nudity is ignored.

They have junior-sized opinions about everything. I'm not wearing that!

Book reading has to enter an either/or equation for best results: We can read now or I can turn out the lights now.

You have to talk them into using the potty.

You have to wipe their bottoms.

Bribing works (ice cream and suckers).

You have to explain everything.

You need to wake up, feet hitting the ground at one hundred miles per hour, if you're going to keep up.

You should go to bed when they do.

You shouldn't eat what they eat (but it's easier if you do).

You must have wipes available at all times.

There are so many cute phrases and innuendos that you can't possibly remember them all.

They pick their nose.

They laugh all day long.

They cry all day long.

I miss them like crazy now that they're gone. And there's no need for rose-colored glasses because I adore them in all their grimy glory! Spending time with children is the best way to feel totally alive and well.

So please come back soon.

(Now would be good) because there's no doubt the kids are worth it.

Let the good times grow!

-Chapter 2-

Remembering that the Babies Will Turn into Teenagers

Looking Down the Road

(four-minute read)

What I most clearly remember about my babies is the extreme waves of fascination and love coupled with pure exhaustion.

New babies are all consuming. Their basic needs must be met and then you fall into bed.

Who has time to read parenting books about teenagers when you're breastfeeding? No one, I guess, but since when do parents have time?

You'd better make yourself a mental map.

If you plan on your children sidestepping the land mines of growing up, you'd better have a pretty good idea of where you're headed. You'd better make yourself a mental map.

It won't be long before the basic needs of keeping them alive will morph into the higher-level needs of making them responsible, trustworthy, dependable, kind, and successful human beings.

But right now, you are in survival mode. It's understandable. In the back of your foggy mind, you are somewhat aware of the tentativeness of this period, but the present consumes you.

In brief moments of clarity, you can't help but look forward. You look forward to your infant becoming somewhat independent: sleeping through the night, potty trained, independently eating.

While also, if you are like me, you may have some dread—knowing your children will someday grow beyond needing you in an elemental way.

I wanted them to have years of consistent direction and examples of kindness and evidence of self-worth to keep their feet firmly planted on rich ground.

This knowledge kept me on my toes! I didn't want my children and me to merely survive childhood. I wanted them to have years of consistent direction and examples of kindness and evidence of self-worth to keep their feet firmly planted on rich ground.

Some things in life should not be left to chance, and children are one of them. It is helpful to keep the thought of Who will my child be? at the forefront of your mind while navigating the day-to-day grind.

You cannot expect your future teenager to suddenly begin speaking to you with respect if you have allowed attitude to be a part of your interactions all along.

An easy mistake to make is reacting to a two-year-old's inappropriate cuteness with laughter and letting it slide. You cannot expect your teen down the road to miraculously be respectful when they walk through the doors of their high school on day one if this hasn't been the requirement all along.

So when do you begin?

Begin with your newborn, of course. Use polite words with them. Talk to them. Tell them your philosophies of life long before their comprehension kicks in. What they will initially pick up is My parents are kind. My parents are there for me. My parents attend to my needs and make me comfortable and happy.

How do I want our interchanges to go when they're a teenager?

When they begin to talk, guide them. Insist that they insert polite words. Make them repeat requests that sound demanding by requesting an acceptable tone. Be consistent, always thinking, How do I want our interchanges to go when they're a teenager?

Being aware of where you're headed is key. Sleepwalking through their baby, toddler, elementary school days, and then lowering the hammer as they become teens is going to be frustrating, to say the least, and realistically impossible. You can't just flip a switch.

Stay focused and cognizant through the formative years. Everyone will benefit from putting in the work every minute, every day, all along, ahead of time.

Keep the lines of communication open between all who are raising this precious child of yours.

And last but not least, get on the same page as your spouse. Get on the same page with any and all adults in your child's life that have influence with them. Keep the lines of communication open between all who are raising this precious child of yours.

Today looks like its own long road, but it will pass by in the blink of an eye.

Parents, look down the road. Keep the big picture in mind.

That tiny cherub that demands every ounce of your energy will grow. They are depending on you to guide them. They need you to realize your choices in drawing their boundaries—begin as a tiny tot—and draw them well and with foresight.

Because parenting is serious stuff with a lot of responsibility, it requires keeping the end in mind at all times.

Because babies grow and you don't want to miss out on the loving, instructional influence you can have.

All our children are worth it.

Let the good times grow!

-Chapter 3-

Being the Couch

The Couch: It's Always There, It's Quietly Reassuring, It's Familiar, It Comforts You

(six-minute read)

I've been on both sides of the parenting fence. I was a stay-at-home mom (full time for nine years and part time for five) followed by fourteen years working full-time as a kindergarten teacher.

Raising kids is all unicorns and rainbows!

Raising kids is all chaos and curses!

Both sides of the fence have their own beauty and challenges. With either choice, there is success and self-actualization; there is failure and dismal discouragement.

Raising the kiddos is wonderful—all unicorns and rainbows.

Raising the kiddos is impossible—all chaos and curses.

What's a parent to do, except be there? Be like the trusty couch!

You've accomplished a lot when your little scholar is ready to go off to school. I was somewhat alarmed and then dismayed when I realized how strict the expectation for silence is at school. I struggled with this as a parent and as a teacher.

My students (kindergartners) were new to school and naturally walked through my classroom door with their own idea of normal. They talked when they had something to say. I was required to reprogram them to only talk when they had permission.

So here I was, not only coexisting with five-year-olds (twenty plus of them) but I also had a very long list of curriculum objectives to cover.

As the ringmaster, I had to keep order. I never realized how quiet students are expected to be.

As the ringmaster of my own little (kindergarten) circus, I had to keep order and keep the pace brisk. This required long periods when children could not freely talk. I'm not sure I ever realized just how quiet students are expected to be at school until I returned to work full time after having my own children.

But wait, what in the world does the couch have to do with all this?

Well, there was a recurring theme from many, many parents that their child walked through the door after school with verbal diarrhea. (Yuck! Sorry. But it really does paint a very clear image.)

And my response to them was Let them talk!

Be the quietly reassuring couch. Just be there.

Let them vent. Let them complain. Let them share.

They've been required to keep their control all day.

Let them talk, talk, talk!

And for the ones who come home with no words, just be there (like the familiar, comforting couch) and wait for it. Eventually, they will want to talk and you just need to listen.

Your feedback will be mostly to clarify what you're hearing. Please don't monologue back at them. Don't feed their fire. Just give them support and presence—like the couch.

Then they grow, and in between kindergarten and high school, some things change, but some don't. Teenagers often come home sullen and silent, although not always. You can't help but want to know what is going on in their heads! Here is where things remain the same: Be the couch! Try your best to always be there for their comings and goings.

Have food ready. No judgments here. Homemade or warmed-up frozen stuff works equally well. The important part is to focus on exclusively being there with them. (Please consider resisting the lure of multitasking by putting your phone out of reach—even if they are using theirs.)

Many interactions with teens feel unsatisfactory and staccato, with single-syllable conversations, but you cannot imagine how important it is to