My Hard Life Lived Well

By K. Alexander Kardos

This memoir contains a remarkable life's journey of Maria Banfi from her childhood in Communist Yugoslavia, "Land of the South Slavs," to marriage, to a failed escape attempt to free Austria. Our second attempt had Maria and her husband Karl leaving their first child behind. It was heart-wrenching set of events that intertwined with the reality after World War II that was present as the cold war in the mid-1950s in Southeastern Europe. The Balkan region throughout history was full of conflicts and conquest with World War I, beginning with the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand on the twenty-eighth of July 1914 in Sarajevo, Yugoslavia. World War II was the traumatic aftereffect of World War I. The losing nations led by Nazi Germany and the kingdom of Italy were poor, in such disarray, and the collapse of their societies. It was only a short amount of time that they would rise against the victors. My Karl led me through the most harrowing, unpredictable, and challenging scenarios after we married and traveled northward to Austria. Escape for my generation and previous generations from our region of Slovenia was commonplace as they emigrated in search of a better life away from the oppressive, impoverished, and destitute in Northern Yugoslavia. Every decision my Karl made were solely based on "our survival" as no reflection, doubt, or second-guessing was allowed. Life was extremely difficult living out of an American-run displaced-persons camp No. 100 called Asten Lager in Linz, Austria, and both of us being day laborers with meager pay. Read through my accounts, thoughts, memories, and feelings as my Karl and I work through the many challenges to achieve our ultimate goal of being able to immigrate to the United States of America. Future volumes will contain our progress, frustrations, and setbacks we encountered while forging our futures and destiny under God.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Jun 28, 2023
• ISBN: 9798886855616

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My Hard Life Lived Well

K. Alexander Kardos

Copyright © 2023 by K. Alexander Kardos

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

This Publication is Copyright Protected

Under the Copyright Laws of the United States of America. Any Unauthorized Reproduction or Use of Any Images or Storyline is Strictly Prohibited. All Rights Reserved © Picture taken on October 29, 1965

Author with My Mother Mrs. Maria Banfi Kardos, Advisor and Story Editor

Title Translation

Težko življenje živel dobro

My Hard Life Lived Well

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

These memoirs are dedicated in memorial to my loving and dear husband, Karl (Karchi) Kardos. My Karl was my partner in holy matrimony for over sixty-two years and was my soulmate, my skillful musician, the father of my children, and my everything.

Silhouettes are of (1) my Father Ludvik Banfi, his saxophone, and (2) my Father Ludvik Banfi with me seated on his lap, 1936.

My steadfast, endearing, and lifelong motto is

Tomorrow will always be better than today.

No matter the situation, a difficult challenge, a bad twist of faith, an event beyond my control, illness, or even a near-death experience will not alter my deeply held belief and perception.

I mirrored what great qualities I saw in my mother Franciska (Hari) Banfi in dealing with difficulties when I was growing up on the farm in Dolina, Slovenia, in Yugoslavia. My mother had a calm and steady hand in maintaining her demeanor that quickly settled and diffused any intense argument or issue that arose, and a truism took hold that my tomorrow would be better than my yesterday!

Many thanks and the endearing love to my mother Franciska and father Ludvik in instilling this optimism in me, along with the other good qualities you provided me growing up in the seventeen and a half years I spent under your roof and home.

God bless.

Your daughter,

Maria Banfi Kardos

Acknowledgments

This memoir is dedicated to all the men in my life that I love. My grandfather, Adam Banfi, was instrumental in my early development and my best friend and confidant in my early years. He was my rock when times get difficult for me with Grandmother Juliana, and I ran to his side for comfort and safety. I remember many times as a toddler walking tall by his side on a walking path in a field and me being proud to be with him. My beloved father, Ludvik Banfi, was an honorable and great man I looked up to through my childhood and teenage years. He was the model through my childhood and teenage years. He was the model father who I looked up to and was strict when he had to be to keep me on the straight and narrow path and focused on what was important. He was a strong, successful man in the community, fireman, and husband to my mother, Franciska. His confidence and integrity made him in my eyes the epiphany of what a man should be.

I grew up with music in my home, life, and body, which touched my heart and soul, keeping a pleasant melody in my mind. My father was an accomplished saxophone and clarinet player in his dance band. He made beautiful harmony and deep throaty sounds with his sax and hit the high notes with all the other instruments. My heart was truly broken when he passed two months after we left Austria with no way back for the visitation at my old house and funeral in Slovenia, Yugoslavia.

A mention for my two brothers, Ludvig and Bela, who held music as a second love in their lives. Ludvig had command of the clarinet and saxophone like my father did, and younger Bela of ten years could make his trumpet sing loud and reach such tones that would melt your heart. Bela’s trademark one-handed hold on the trumpet wowed everyone. He tragically left this world much too early at only thirty-eight.

The most important man of my life, my Karl, and my husband. I would follow him to the ends of the Earth, to hell and back. The love of my life is my husband. Our life journey was a quest to achieve a level of success and comfort that we both dreamed of. This path would take me to so many new places to live, but we continued to search for our own utopia. He had the courage to challenge everything in life and come out on top. He was a proud and confident man who never settle for anything less than his best. His standards were very high, and he availed himself to master everything he tackled. We were a great match made in heaven, not perfect as individuals, but side by side, we added up to so much more than two people. The challenges we faced together were almost impossible and monumental to cope, from evading the Yugoslavian border police on our first escape attempt to Austria and then making a home in United States.

To the Kardos family and legacy. The Kardos family crest below. Lastly, I give great thanks to my two sons, Karl Alexander and Emil Karl, as they were instrumental at crucial moments in my life to help my Karl and I achieve such riches, not so much in wealth money-wise but a quality of life and a richness in a mother’s heart that mean so much to me. I cannot divulge more here as you will just have to keep reading my future memoirs to follow my remarkable journey. My two sons reappeared later in my life to allow me to become one of the luckiest and blessed mothers that God placed on this Earth. Believe me, my life was one hell of a ride, thanks to all the men that I was truly fortunate to surround and love me in my eighty-seven-plus years now!

My heartfelt gratitude and everlasting love to all the men: my dear grandfather, Adam Banfi; my father, Ludvik Banfi; my teacher in gymnasium; my husband, Karl, that if he were alive today, January 22 in the year of our Lord 2022, we would have celebrated the first of two anniversaries as a civil ceremony accounting for seventy years of matrimony. The second anniversary of our church wedding occurs on August 4, 2022. Finally, my two sons, Karl Alexander and Emil Karl, that made my life full of joy and happiness after my Karl passed on March 21 in 2014. Lastly, Pastor Greg Chandler of Southland Christian Church whom I made an instant connection with.

God bless you all.

Prologue

My life story always begins as a child in some forgotten land in Yugoslavia in 1934. I was the first daughter born to farming family in the Slovenian region in northern Yugoslavia. My memoir will take you through my early years, a near-death experience, and the school years of my life. The music of my youth as my grandfather and father shaped my childhood and eventually led to me marrying my husband, Karl, who played a musical instrument, the accordion. His upbringing was quite different than mine as he had a dysfunctional family unit that tried to give him away at a young age. He returned, to the disappointment of his parents, and struggled his whole life long with the emotional scars he was left with. My journey with him through difficult times was unique as we tried to find our way through young adulthood. I, on the other hand, had what you might call a normal childhood as my parents embraced my being with open arms and loving religious beliefs. I was the stabilizing one that held my Karl in check and would often soothe his troubled mind when things got out of hand, when things were too much for him to handle.

Our journey consisted of marrying young and having a baby daughter early in life and, on the second attempt at fleeing the Communist Yugoslavia, left her behind with both grandmothers. Escaping Yugoslavia the way we did right before the authorities arrested my Karl and me, we were to be thrown into prison and was a true miracle itself. My Karl had an unbridled spirit deep within him that would carry us far from our meager beginnings to our destiny, which led to Austria. His musicality was ever present throughout his life as he was struck by the music bug at a young age and had to negotiate and navigate two difficult issues: (1) How to pay for his accordion, and (2) how to negotiate with a gypsy master musician to teach him how to play the accordion as a very young teenager. All was well when he would strap his accordion on and would play, as this took him far away from his daily difficulties and troubled mind. In that fashion, my father Ludwik was walking by a practice session of my Karl’s, heard him play, and the rest became my life’s destiny. I would follow him to the ends of the Earth and eventually did. In fact, I got to marry him twice six months apart, one being a religious ceremony and second being the communist-state-required nuptials. Now, how many people can make that claim to fame?

My Karl, somewhere in his childhood, learned the lack of money was a really bad thing as he worked as his father’s apprentice as a blacksmith without pay and only for room and board. His love of money and what it could buy was a primary driving force in his life. Maybe his embarrassment happened when his father took him to buy his first accordion and my Karl thought his father Stefan was to pay, only to find out my Karl had to foot the bill but had no money in his pockets, a stark realization that remained with him all his life. The three loves of his life were me, his wife; money; and his accordion. I sometimes wondered what order and priority each of these held for myself and my burgeoning family in this new land of America.

Our journey took us northward to Austria. We made our way across the border to Austria, only to be interned in a displaced persons camp called Asten Jagger near the city of Linz. We survived there for two years, and you can imagine the hardships we went through as, again, the lack of money came to surface its ugly head. Through some generous sisters that owned the food or delicatessen store, which by the grace of God gave us a line of credit for the food, we didn’t starve or go hungry during our stay in the DP camp. We must have won the jackpot on this as we have been blessed all our life long as certain people would cross our paths and for unknown reasons assist us in times of difficulty or need and save us in this instance during the great food shortages while we were there. These miracles would follow us throughout our lives and provide a comfort to our souls. My Karl’s drive and passion would carry us through everything that life could throw at us, and boy did we have some great challenges.

After two years at Asten Lager DP Camp, two additional children, the retrieval of my oldest daughter, our destiny was fulfilled as we made our way to continue our lifelong journey and immigrated to America.

Our original pretense was to travel to a work farm in Missouri went by the wayside as Asten Lager friends provided us a means to arrive in Cleveland, Ohio, a magnet for Slovenian immigrants. My Karl was one of the unskilled or semiskilled immigrants that helped America grow and achieve greatness in the industrial revolution in the late 1950s through the early 1960s.

Our journey takes us from early life in Cleveland in May of 1956 and the difficulties establishing ourselves in a foreign country without knowing the English language. The many challenges that confronted and hindered us in making headway were a motivating factor where my Karl dreamed for bigger and a better future. He had a vision far greater than I could ever imagine, which would strive and work hard to fulfill his vision and life’s destiny. In the span of five years, we would establish ourselves as productive and self-sustaining immigrants in the community. We even brought my brother over and that didn’t turn out so well for my Karl. We bought furniture, appliances, a new car. Read to the end of this chapter to see what other dreams came true.

Letter to Dear Readers

I want to offer the reasons why we wrote Maria’s memoir at this time. First, this real-life story needs to be preserved as an epic depiction of the immigration migration of thousands of people after WWII, specifically during the Cold War from Europe in the 1950s. Everyone that heard bits and pieces of Mom’s past was intrigued and always wanted to hear more. Secondly, I, her son Karl, heard more in-depth details over my life and thought they should be put down on paper and preserved for all time. Thirdly, there’s not enough time to sit down and personally talk individually to my children, their children, and subsequent offspring.

It is a far-too-rich and touching story about Maria’s journey traveling starting in her hometown Dolina (village) in Slovenia (socialist state) in the communist county of Yugoslavia. The specific day-to-day struggles and challenges at her childhood home to the fleeing of Yugoslavia to an American military plane ride to the United States of America took courage, a dream, a clear, vivid dream to pursue. It was my pleasure to work with Mom over the last year, compiling the information to written form. Mom started jotting down her history back in 1984 with small notes at first. I scanned her pictures contained within in from 1998 to 2012 and started the compilation in 2018. In January of 2020, the text started flowing, and we created through the rough draft during the COVID-19 pandemic. On September 13 of 2020, I had a mild stroke and a pneumonia in December. January 7 of 2021 was the day everything came together for the memoir to take its first type set and chapter number 1. A year later, volume 1 consists of three chapters and 161 pages, bringing us to May 1, 1956, when the Kardos family immigrated from Europe and landed in New York city.

Volume 1

Chapter 1:

Our Family Legacy in Yugoslavia and My Early Childhood in Dolina Prekmurje, Slovenia

Chapter 2:

From Teenager to Woman: My Engagement, Marriage #1 and #2 and Early Life in Yugoslavia

Chapter 3:

Great Escape: Running Northwest to Austria

Chapter 1

Our Family Legacy in Yugoslavia and My Early Childhood in Dolina Prekmurje, Slovenia

My memoir begins with my family lineage in Yugoslavia; that country came into existence after World War I in 1918 under the name of the Kingdom of Serbs, Croats, and Slovenes by the merger of the provisional State of Slovenes, Croats, and Serbs. In 1919, my region proclaimed independence as the short-lived Republic of Prekmurje and was subsequently included into the Kingdom of Serbs, Croats, and Slovenes. The kingdom was a state in southeast and the Central Europe that existed from 1918 to 1929; it was called the Kingdom of The Serbs, Croats, and Slovenes. In October 1929, the kingdom was renamed Kingdom of Yugoslavia by the new King Alexander I the unifier.

My region in what is now Yugoslavia is the country on the map above in red near the borders that connect at a tripoint area of the three current countries of Slovenia, Austria, and Hungary. Throughout history, many different countries ruled or occupied my homeland, ranging from the Roman empire to the Ottoman Turks to more recently in 1908 when the Austrian-Hungarian empire until the assassination of their Archduke Francis Ferdinand in 1914. This event triggered the First World War among the European nations on the continent.

My little corner of the world occupies the northernmost and the upper tip of Yugoslavia called Prekmurje, Slovenia. This outer region belonged to Hungary for a good part of the twentieth century. Hungarian language is spoken and taught in schools. Slovenes made up 80 percent of the population in this region and Hungarians, the other 20 percent. The country here is fertile farmland and the large Triglav mountains.

My family, Banfi, lived in the village of Dolina (translates to big valley) in Slovenia