Packing up the Box: Life Journey

By Synoia Olson

Encouragement for how to live here on earth until we pack up the box, like a Monopoly game when done, is shared in these pages from experiences learned from the Lord on life's journey. 

Packing Up the Box: Life Journey is arranged with a topic for each day, not specifically for any year, and can be used as a devotional to see

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: Jul 31, 2023
• ISBN: 9798887388250

Synoia Olson

SYNOIA OLSON studied as a research assistant in the field of geochemistry and mathematics during undergraduate and graduate school. Following publication of a master's thesis, Synoia's life took a dramatic turn after a direct encounter with the Lord. Synoia continues to study and write, is involved in the worship ministry of the church, and operates a small accounting administration business for an international consolidating agency.

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Packing Up the Box

Life Journey Day by Day

Synoia Olson

Packing Up the Box

Trilogy Christian Publishers A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Trinity Broadcasting Network

2442 Michelle Drive Tustin, CA 92780

Copyright © 2023 by Synoia Olson

Scripture quotations marked MSG are taken from THE MESSAGE, copyright © 1993, 2002, 2018 by Eugene H. Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress. All rights reserved. Represented by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.TM Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.TM Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked TLB are taken from The Living Bible copyright © 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, a Division of Tyndale House Ministries, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked KJV are taken from the King James Version of the Bible. Public domain.

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Manufactured in the United States of America

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ISBN: 979-8-88738-824-3

E-ISBN: 979-8-88738-825-0

Acknowledgments

I want to begin by thanking my amazing husband, Roger, for agreeing to move forward with publishing this work. I so appreciate my long-time special friend Patti Graham for being such a wonderful friend, support, and encouragement to press on to finish this project and to stretch to work with the best and highest quality publisher. Without her, I question if this would have gotten done. Speaking of publisher, what an honor and privilege to work with Trilogy Publishing. Thank you so much, Jessi Gill and Rachel Hiatt and Ashley Welch, and all the others who have done such an amazing job throughout the whole journey. They really did complete this whole thing with their expertise and kind encouragement along the way. They made the process easy for me while they did a lot of work.

You who are holding this book and reading this right now: thank you for taking the time to consider taking Packing Up the Box along with you on your life journey. May you be blessed and prosper until that day when we are all together forever. I’m so thankful for each of you who have been on this journey with me, and to those whose path I haven’t crossed yet, I will enjoy meeting you one day and getting to know your whole story. Press on and never give up.

And finally, Lord Jehovah, I praise and thank You for loving and caring for us like You do and faithfully guiding me through all the valleys and mountains on this journey. Whatever may be true and powerful to help and strengthen and encourage others in these pages comes from You alone, and to You, I give all glory and honor forever and ever. I will love You with my heart, soul, might, and mind and others as myself. And now, Lord, I pray: Save thy people, and bless thine inheritance: feed them also, and lift them up for ever (Psalm 28:9, KJV).

Table of Contents

New Year’s Day. Reflections

January 2. Renewing Relationships

January 3. Dignity

January 4. Denying Myself

January 5. Perseverance

January 6. Waiting for the Son

January 7. Offended

January 8. Out of Control

January 9. Unchanging

January 10. Mistakes

January 11. Space

January 12. Brevity

January 13. Love the Lord

January 14. Love Thy Neighbor as Thyself

January 15. Stretching

January 16. Maturing

January 17. Grace

January 18. Pride

January 19. Surrendering All

January 20. Renewing Our Mind

January 21. Discipleship

January 22. Bondage

January 23. Victory

January 24. Failure

January 25. Add

January 26. Faith

January 27. Virtue

January 28. Knowledge

January 29. Temperance

January 30. Patience

January 31. Godliness

February 1. Brotherly Kindness

February 2. Charity

February 3. Testing

February 4. In-crowd

February 5. Tolerance

February 6. Kingdom

February 7. Activity

February 8. Abiding

February 9. Seeking First

February 10. Performing

February 11. Control

February 12. Respecting Persons

February 13. Coincidence

February 14. True Love

February 15. Unloving

February 16. Political Correctness

February 17. Devil

February 18. Duty

February 19. Humility

February 20. Journaling

February 21. Being

February 22. Healing

February 23. Death

February 24. The Garden

February 25. Spring

February 26. Higher Ground

February 27. Church

February 28. Works

February 29. Leap

March 1. Lamp

March 2. Contentment

March 3. Disappointment

March 4. The Morrow

March 5. Glory

March 6. The Battle

March 7. Passages

March 8. Time Passes On

March 9. Vision

March 10. The Vail

March 11. Encouragement

March 12. Discouragement

March 13. Diligence

March 14. Trials

March 15. Betrayal

March 16. Gossip

March 17. Unique

March 18. Loved and Accepted

March 19. Retribution

March 20. Presence

March 21. Reality

March 22. Unbelief

March 23. Compulsiveness

March 24. Inspiration

March 25. Light

March 26. Personality

March 27. Iniquity

March 28. Accomplishment

March 29. Doing

March 30. Ordered Steps

March 31. Confusion

April 1. Fools

April 2. Seasons

April 3. Comparing

April 4. Friends

April 5. Besetting Sins

April 6. The Cross

April 7. Before and After

April 8. Resurrection

April 9. Ascension

April 10. Giving Up

April 11. Social Strata

April 12. Strangers

April 13. Ado

April 14. Rest

April 15. Taxes

April 16. Suffering

April 17. Higher Call

April 18. Passion

April 19. Covenant

April 20. The Sick

April 21. Trust

April 22. Turned to Good

April 23. Transformation

April 24. Follow

April 25. First Love

April 26. Kings and Priests

April 27. Doubts

April 28. Outcasts

April 29. Sorrow

April 30. Devastation

May 1. Again

May 2. Driven

May 3. Tender Mercies

May 4. Mind of Christ

May 5. Servant

May 6. Puffed Up

May 7. More than Ever

May 8. Adventure

May 9. Foolishness

May 10. Compromise

May 11. Wisdom

May 12. Respect

May 13. Honor

May 14. Refuge

May 15. Eternity

May 16. Isolation

May 17. Relax

May 18. Rituals

May 19. Turmoil

May 20. Stories

May 21. Significance

May 22. Fruitfulness

May 23. Sharing

May 24. Order

May 25. Sufficiency

May 26. Success

May 27. Misguided

May 28. Work

May 29. Presence

May 30. Production

May 31. Condemnation

June 1. Listening

June 2. Reality

June 3. Determination

June 4. In Love

June 5. Hate

June 6. Needed

June 7. Myself

June 8. Hurt

June 9. Private Side

June 10. Problems

June 11. Recovery

June 12. Finances

June 13. Tribulation

June 14. Perfect

June 15. Change

June 16. Divorce

June 17. Endurance

June 18. Right

June 19. Lust of the Flesh

June 20. Lust of the Eyes

June 21. Pride of Life

June 22. Envy

June 23. Covetousness

June 24. Greatness

June 25. Purpose

June 26. Expectations

June 27. Want

June 28. Jealousy

June 29. Perspective

June 30. Generosity

July 1. Unity

July 2. Conflict

July 3. Captivity

July 4. Freedom

July 5. Courage

July 6. Way

July 7. Truth

July 8. Life

July 9. Busy

July 10. End Times

July 11. Childishness

July 12. Childlikeness

July 13. Sabbath

July 14. Religion

July 15. Hostility

July 16. Discipline

July 17. Marriage

July 18. Balance

July 19. Leaving

July 20. Grieving

July 21. Fear

July 22. Depression

July 23. Suicide

July 24. Sexual Immorality

July 25. Evil

July 26. Longsuffering

July 27. Boundaries

July 28. Reconciliation

July 29. Narcissism

July 30. False Teachers

July 31. Perception

August 1. Peace

August 2. Rejected

August 3. Shame

August 4. Blessing

August 5. Knowing

August 6. Innocence

August 7. Principalities and Powers

August 8. Revelation Seals

August 9. Revelation Seal 1

August 10. Revelation Seal 2

August 11. Revelation Seal 3

August 12. Revelation Seal 4

August 13. Revelation Seal 5

August 14. Revelation Seal 6

August 15. Revelation Seal 7

August 16. Prophecy

August 17. Alarm

August 18. Prophetic Word 2020?

August 19. Gifts

August 20. Word

August 21. Holy Spirit

August 22. Will of God

August 23. Cults

August 24. Deception

August 25. Fight

August 26. Evidence

August 27. Quitting

August 28. Addictions

August 29. Sickness

August 30. Imaginations

August 31. Experience

September 1. Devotion

September 2. Faithfulness

September 3. Laborers

September 4. Law

September 5. Existence

September 6. World

September 7. Judgment

September 8. Mercy

September 9. Forgiveness

September 10. Strife

September 11. Source

September 12. Shaken

September 13. Son of God

September 14. Bodies

September 15. Holiness

September 16. Everlasting Ways

September 17. Justified

September 18. Glorified

September 19. Sanctification

September 20. Repentance

September 21. Baptism

September 22. Commitment

September 23. Speak

September 24. Homosexuality

September 25. Abortion

September 26. Risk

September 27. Persecution

September 28. Sin

September 29. Chastening

September 30. Prosperity

October 1. Choose

October 2. Beauty

October 3. Flattery

October 4. Kindred Spirit

October 5. Retirement

October 6. Fulfillment

October 7. Connected

October 8. Creation

October 9. Acceptance

October 10. Aging

October 11. Youth

October 12. Self

October 13. Anger

October 14. Christ in Me

October 15. Infinite

October 16. The Fall

October 17. Tithing

October 18. Wonder

October 19. Goodness

October 20. Meditation

October 21. Load Bearing

October 22. Politics

October 23. Pain

October 24. Prayer

October 25. Awakening

October 26. Ambassadors

October 27. Pleasing

October 28. Revive

October 29. Troubles

October 30. Correction

October 31. Hallowed Eve

November 1. Saints

November 2. War

November 3. Voices

November 4. Authority

November 5. Defrauding

November 6. Myths

November 7. Body of Christ

November 8. Heaven

November 9. Confidence

November 10. Time

November 11. Function

November 12. Laziness

November 13. Come

November 14. Say

November 15. Strength

November 16. Anxiety

November 17. Intercession

November 18. Fasting

November 19. Children

November 20. Instruction

November 21. Diversity

November 22. Compassion

November 23. Giving

November 24. Communion

November 25. Family

November 26. Thanksgiving

November 27. Counsel

November 28. Relationships

November 29. Blame

November 30. Lonely

December 1. Riches

December 2. Delight

December 3. Evangelism

December 4. Communion

December 5. Adultery

December 6. Discernment

December 7. Union

December 8. Heart

December 9. Temptation

December 10. Serving

December 11. I

AM

December 12. Adoption

December 13. Saved

December 14. Believe

December 15. Empathy

December 16. Help

December 17. Chosen

December 18. Accuser

December 19. Spiritual Warfare

December 20. Dreams

December 21. Calling

December 22. Complaining

December 23. Hope

December 24. One

December 25. Sacrifice

December 26. Atonement

December 27. Weak

December 28. Strong

December 29. Faults

December 30. Endings

December 31. Well Done

Introduction

As I have grown older, I find myself focusing on getting my house in order so I don’t leave a lot having to be cleaned up by my kids. I came across a box of journals I have written over past decades. I struggled about just throwing them away. As I read back through some of them, most of what I had written was of little interest. Still, here and there seemed to be some insights I didn’t have the heart to part with forever. In fact, I thought what I had discovered from situations in time past may be of some value to my son and his family and maybe some of our other friends.

I got the idea to try to glean from them what has spoken to me through these many years and put them in a book for each day of the year by topic. Some of the entries relate to reflections in my younger days, while others are current, reflected in events sparking thoughts on a topic. Although things mentioned don’t relate to a specific year, I did try to preserve fairly closely the month I wrote in and preserve the seasons so they would be relevant.

There are many voices today through the social media, news, arts, education institutions, the entertainment industry, and more: propagating false and deceptive messages. I have a prayer on my heart lately, asking the Lord to raise up millions of strong voices of truth. Some may be mighty voices of truth, like Billy Graham, while millions of us together will also impact the world as we share—with our family, our friends, our coworkers, fellow students, and those who cross our path—God’s unconditional love, our testimony, what Jesus taught, and encourage others to be reconciled to the Lord if they are not already.

This topical reference book is my voice of truth. I hope it may encourage and strengthen you as you pass through this world. We are the light and salt of the earth. We are needed for just such a time as this. Be strong. Be courageous. Take heart. Together we will change the world.

New Year’s Day

Reflections

Good morning, Father

On this side, I sit in time. I still don’t care for it much here, Lord. I am thankful for the beauty: this room with the tree lit up full of angel ornaments, the manger underneath the tree, the Christmas village on the mantel with little people going to and fro, bright red stockings above the fireplace with the burning fire leaping over and under the logs, the bookcase beside full of words of so many people’s thoughts and journeys through the ages. There are many things to enjoy in this life. Yet it is as if life here, compared to eternal life in Your Kingdom, could be likened to the life in the mantel’s Christmas village compared to our days here on earth. Your life is so much more real than this earthly one, even as the life we are living now is so much more real than that of the village. Who can understand this yearning to fly as a dove far above all the mundaneness of this world and its foolishness?

For this is all a story…like the grandpa reading The Princess Bride to his grandson: just a story and a rather childish, worldly one at that. Soon I will pack up the village and put it back in its box. And so is this life. Like the example I heard long ago on Focus on the Family: life is like a monopoly game. When you’re done, it all goes back in the box. What doesn’t go back in the box is our relationship with You and each other: our spirit, our soul, our love. Father, help us to rise above all this world’s delusions, deliver us from running to and fro, protect our minds from drowning in the knowledge that increases exponentially, and open our eyes to watch as the day draws near when we pack up this box and start really living.

Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: and whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this? (John 11:25–26, KJV)

January 2

Renewing Relationships

When we married, we had little understanding of the issues we each carried into the marriage. Ours began with two very immature and damaged people. I look back on early journals when I wrote:

Why are we always at opposite ends, and how do I become a submissive wife without losing myself in uncaring melancholy? I basically believe the problems in our marriage are his fault, and he basically believes the problems in our marriage are my fault. The truth of the matter is: the solution to problems, no matter whose they are, is in Jesus. He ends the problem. Which sounds good, but what does it mean? These are things I have learned over the years:

1. It means taking the blame—1 Peter 2:20–21—especially when it’s not your fault, and that assumes you take the blame when it is your fault.

2. It means not getting revenge—1 Peter 2:21–24.

3. It means forgiveness that wipes away the sin and its resulting offense that generates coldness and separation—Luke 23:34. It was right here that reconciliation, instead of separation, between God and man, took place.

Over thirty-five years have passed since I pondered these things when our journey together began. We have experienced great struggles, yet each of us had a bottom-line resolve to be faithful to our vows for better or worse. I realize that we all face similar struggles—some more severe than others and with differing circumstances. Though we have seen marriages end that we never dreamed would fail, I only know of one reason we have stood and hopefully will finish our race to the end: commitment. It’s good to renew that as we begin a new year.

Lord, renew again the great grace and mercy for others that You have given us.

May we know how truly loved and valuable we are because You, our Father, have accepted us just as we are and thereby be empowered to forgive and love others.

January 3

Dignity

We went to see Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers on New Year’s Eve. We had a great talk about it afterwards, especially of Golum’s struggle between his evil nature and human self. The story shows how Froido’s love and compassion bring to life his human dignity while the failure to communicate and include him fueled the deception of his evil nature.

I wonder: what does Christ bring out in us? I think of the woman taken in adultery. I know the Lord has certainly brought me out of darkness into His marvelous light. Now am I perhaps to be as Christ is to me and bring others out of darkness by loving and accepting them and placing them on the same footing as myself rather than looking down on them and condemning them? Do you remember when the Pharisees were clucking their tongues and pointing shaming fingers towards Jesus for eating with sinners and publicans? Or when He was having dinner with the Pharisee as the sinner woman wiped His feet with her tears and the Pharisee was thinking: "This guy is no prophet, or He wouldn’t allow someone like that to touch Him"¹ (Luke 7:39, KJV; paraphrased).

But wait a minute. I do that same thing. I easily drift into jockeying for social status and position—looking down on those who aren’t as with it as I am. Have you ever noticed feeling pretty good about yourself if you are looked up to or you are successful or you get attention for what you do? Are there some people we look up to and others we look down on? Let’s get real: are we condemning or loving? True love restores one’s dignity while still in their shame.

When Jesus had raised Himself up and saw no one but the woman, He said to her, ‘Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?’ She said, ‘No one, Lord.’ And Jesus said to her, ‘Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more’ (John 8:10–11, NKJV).

Lord, please help me to love people, not position and fame and beauty.

---

1 Hereinafter, emphasis added.

January 4

Denying Myself

One year on this day, I drove to the little town south of us on the lake and headed up a trail to an overlook I dubbed my high places. It was a gloriously beautiful sunny day, and the mountains gleamed dazzling white, the sky and lake each showing their indescribable shades of blue. I sat on my altar rock and closed my eyes, letting the sun beam on my face. Then as the sun was suddenly turned off, I opened my eyes to see a cloud between me and the sun. It was the only cloud around. The sun was shining still on the lake, the mountains…but not on me. Humph, I thought. I certainly preferred the sunshine, especially since we didn’t see a lot of it in the winter. As I thought about it, I considered how sometimes a cloud comes along in my life…something that gets between the Son and me.

The next day in Sunday school, the topic centered on Philippians 3:7–8 (KJV):

But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ.

Comments like we can be doing good things, but it may not be God’s will or the comfort zone we hang on to—hard to let go got me thinking about my little parable from the day before and ask myself: What cloud may have drifted between the Son and me? As I listened, I recognized some areas the Lord was leading me to clean out of the closet of my heart.

Father, You know better than I the clouds in my life. I need a Savior. I need repentance. Help me, Lord, to forsake all and follow You.

January 5

Perseverance

I have set myself to do two to three devotions a day, taking them from old journals of the past thirty years. I’m doing it because of the notion the Lord is encouraging me to and the hope it will help others. Tonight, as I read through a journal almost ten years old, I feel so disgusted with myself that I have about decided what I am doing is a waste. I think I have changed some these last ten years, yet I am faced with how little and how irrelevant I am. Should I give up? Is all this effort foolish? Will this book ever be completed, or is this the end? Sometimes when we press to fulfill a vision, we face all the voices telling us how hopeless and futile our goals are. In light of these thoughts, will I persevere?

My writing efforts remind me of the primaries going on for the Republican candidacy right now: 2012. I suspect the Christian candidates believed the Lord was directing them to become the next president, and they believed they would help people, the same as me with writing this book. I wonder how often missionaries have struggled with questions when they don’t see a single convert for many, many years or the disciples’ discouragement after Jesus’ death (Luke 24:13–25.) Are we wasting our time, or does it take time to grow results?

We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;

Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;

Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.

We having the same spirit of faith, according as it is written, I believed, and therefore have I spoken; we also believe, and therefore speak;

Knowing that he who raised up the Lord Jesus shall raise up us also by Jesus, and shall present us with you.

2 Corinthians 4:8–10, 13–14 (KJV)

O, Lord, if You want me to do something, why should I quit even if it doesn’t seem to accomplish much? Help me to trust You and never never give up.

January 6

Waiting for the Son

This is a week of prayer and fasting in our church body. With my husband leaving early this morning to work, I had a unique opportunity to wait on the Lord as I prayed. The thought came to me of making myself sit still and wait and pray until the sun came up. So I’ve been watching, praying, waiting. Is it ever going to rise? I know it’s coming. It’s getting lighter in the east: a little tinge of pink on the clouds hovering over the mountains. The hand on the grandfather clock moves slowly. I think of getting up and doing this or that. No, wait til the sun comes up. Pray some more, close my eyes, bow down. This waiting is hard. Will the sun ever rise? I know it will. It has every day of my life on this earth. Lord, I will wait and listen.

Then the thought crossed my mind of our waiting for the Son to return. Will He ever come? It’s taking forever. Will He come? He said He would come. We believe what He said. We must be getting really close after these thousands of years. After two days He will revive us; On the third day He will raise us up... (Hosea 6:2a, NKJV).

Lord, I know every minute that ticks by, it is getting closer to that sun rising. Father, I believe we are ever closer to Your rising with healing in Your wings. Come, Lord Jesus, I pray, in Your precious name.

It rose! The sun rose. It’s shining on my face.

For, behold, the day cometh, that shall burn as an oven; and all the proud, yea, and all that do wickedly, shall be stubble; and the day that cometh shall burn them up, saith the Lord of hosts, that it shall leave them neither root nor branch.

But unto you that fear my name shall the Sun of righteousness arise with healing in his wings, and ye shall go forth, and grow up as calves of the stall.

Malachi 4:1–2 (KJV)

January 7

Offended

We left the winter clouds behind and were on our way to Hawaii for warm sunny skies. While waiting at the airport, we saw a guy who used to go to our church. He, along with many others, had switched to a different church when we got a new pastor. I, too, had been offended by the new pastor. His messages could be hard-hitting, kind of like I tend to be. He has a gift of evangelism, and over his years of pastoring, many were saved and baptized. He did his job well. It reminds me of President Trump. So many are offended by his bluntness, yet he is good at what he does running a business or a country. When we are offended with someone, we have been instructed to go to them and let them know just between us. Of course, that isn’t always possible with people we don’t really know or have contact with.

Since I had all the hours ahead of us on our flight, I wanted to write a letter to express my issues and resolve them, whether the problem was mine, his, or both of us. Yet I felt this fear rising up. What if I get in trouble? I just recently read an article in a magazine about we all lie either to not offend or to protect ourselves. I wonder if not communicating in relationships is often linked to fear rather than faith, causing us to leave the relationship rather than speak up? Jesus seemed to have no problem letting people know when something bothered Him. In the years I have navigated through relationships and offenses, it seems best to me to always keep love at the forefront. Even if Jesus was offended, He still loved the people, and when I don’t, I need to get that resolved first.

Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother (Matthew 18:15, KJV).

Lord, I pray to be courageous and not cowering. Teach me Your way and what to say. Help me to communicate when offended rather than fearfully keeping quiet and leaving the relationship without trying to work it out.

January 8

Out of Control

In our connecting terminal on our way to Hawaii, we saw a door that read Laptop Lane as we walked to the food court section where we had breakfast. With extra time waiting for our connecting flight, I decided to explore and see what Laptop Lane looked like. I entered in, and the end of the hall said Exit, with no restrictions posted. I was curious to see where it went and am an explorer at heart, my ancestors being pilgrims and Indians. What if I went through the door and couldn’t get back in? The escapade gave me a sense of adventure, but I didn’t risk getting out of control and missing my flight. It sometimes is difficult to know when to take risks versus when we are out of control. I got to thinking… we humans are creators and explorers, made in the Lord’s image, after all.

We don’t really want a life totally controlled with guided tours that stay on the walkway with directions of what to look at and how and when to respond to what we see. "When we reach the rise in 4.3 minutes, turn to the left, look up slightly, and when you see the snow reflecting the sun on the peaks, think about how beautiful it is and ooh a little to help those around you enjoy it more."

I suppose this is what I struggle with in church. Often, it seems so controlled and like a performance. Sometimes, I think it has become an organization, not an organism. The issue of grace, of following Jesus being a relationship and not a religion, often seems to get buried in churches. I brought along on our trip George MacDonald’s book The Minister’s Restoration. I find it interesting that the first chapter introduces a minister who tries to rule others and a saintly man in the congregation who seeks to love others.

God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth (John 4:24, KJV).

Lord, many have left the church. Please be head over Your church and bring us back together again. Your will be done.

January 9

Unchanging

Hawaii beach reflections:

Eternity whispers

From deep billow

Casting upon the shore

Over and over, crashing

Pulsing, beating

Evermore

Had I been

A thousand years past

Sitting here

No change in sand

Sea and sun above

Would appear

The only change

To detect

Or see

Would be

The absence

Of me

I would not

Be found

By human eye

But over the rainbow

Where bluebirds

Fly

The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done, and there is no new thing under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9, KJV).

Lord, may I take a moment when deep calls to deep in my soul to hear afresh Your unchanging invitation to join You in eternity.

January 10

Mistakes

After a day on the ocean, it seemed appropriate to watch the movie on TV, The Perfect Storm, based on a true story. The captains of two different boats were pretty foolhardy in their decisions to ride out the storm. The rescue effort to save the one boatload was successful. The other boat went down, and one rescuer lost his life while looking for the boat. All on that boat perished.

I woke very early this morning with extreme fear. The process to deal with it brought up memories: my folks shipwrecked, I shipwrecked, several churches I have been part of shipwrecked. Now I wonder if, eventually, the church I’m in and my marriage will shipwreck. I need to change. It seems I keep making mistakes and losing. Still, I give the Lord great glory and honor, for He faithfully keeps turning it all and using it for good.

I have a terrible time allowing myself and others to make mistakes. We all make mistakes. How often have I heard that to succeed, you have to fail? I see the pitfalls of my perfectionism: don’t do something unless you know you will succeed, trying to be God, judging others when they fail, not trusting God.

For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;

Being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus: Whom God hath set forth to be a propitiation through faith in his blood, to declare his righteousness for the remission of sins that are past, through the forbearance of God;

To declare, I say, at this time his righteousness: that he might be just, and the justifier of him which believeth in Jesus.

Where is boasting then? It is excluded. By what law? Of works? Nay: but by the law of faith.

Romans 3:23–27 (KJV)

Lord, I need help to just do what is set before me to do as best I know how and to trust the rest to You. The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places, and I will be thankful for all You have done. Help me to trust You and give it all to You.

January 11

Space

I found a little church here in Hawaii to attend Sunday morning while my husband stayed at the condo and watched football. Later, I packed my lunch and stopped at the beach with the thought of enjoying quiet time to process my feelings and seek the Lord. I suppose I had certain hopes for our trip to Hawaii. But it’s like life is life wherever you go. On the beach, the wind was blowing. I forgot to bring anything to hold my hair back, so it kept blowing in my face. The page I was trying to write on wouldn’t stay down as the wind kept pushing it up. Sand blew on me whenever a little gust came along. So, my journey to the beach alone was not as I had pictured it in my mind.

I thought about the message at church that morning on Ephesians chapter 5 and how it seemed God was talking to me in the first part for wives. As I was pondering on what had been said, I noticed the ocean kept creeping closer and closer, and if I didn’t move soon, I would get wet. Then along came the clouds covering up the sun. Being on the beach became so uncomfortable I thought I should forget it and head back to the condo. Yet, there have been wonderful times on the beach in the past, and there will be more in the days to come. Right now, though, the time had come to put a little space between me and the beach.

Maybe that’s how it is with my marriage and my church. Gets pretty uncomfortable sometimes, but then there have been the glory times too. Maybe getting some space now and again is good, yet leaving marriage or church permanently misses all the best yet to come. A choir song we sang came to me of our need to grieve our hurts and forgive and reunite.

And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8, KJV).

Lord, thanks for helping me see a bigger picture than just the immediate disappointments and unfulfilled expectations. It’s nice to let things go, let others go, love them, and love myself too.

January 12

Brevity

I was awakened in the middle of the night. From the condo lanai, the almost full moon was low in the west, shining across the ocean. It was as if a glimpse of eternity was reaching out to me, carrying me across the ocean of time. I look for fulfillment in this world while He is patiently waiting for me to discover it is Him… You’re the One I’ve been waiting for.

Later in the day, we went to the beach below the Ritz Carlton here on Maui, where our son’s best friend drowned just a couple of weeks earlier. I felt a sadness I couldn’t explain. I envisioned him and his brother leaving the hotel and heading down to the ocean to watch the monster waves beating on the slippery lava flows during a storm. I thought about the timing of it: if they had left just five minutes later or earlier. I pictured them at the spot and the helplessness as a freak forty-foot wave caught him and swept him off his feet while his brother had turned and ran back onto the grass in time to save himself. Rescuers and even a helicopter couldn’t get near him until the next day when they recovered his body.

The brevity and uncertainty of our life here on this earth return us to reality and the significance of not slipping into exalting ourselves or becoming careless in our ways. We are here for a season to spread the love and hope we have in none other but He, who is all in all.

The days of our years are threescore years and ten; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labour and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away.

So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.

O satisfy us early with thy mercy; that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.

Let thy work appear unto thy servants, and thy glory unto their children.

And let the beauty of the

Lord

our God be upon us: and establish thou the work of our hands upon us...

Psalm 90:10, 12, 14, 16–17a (KJV)

Thank You, Lord, for the reminder of the brevity of our earthly lives.

January 13

Love the Lord

When my Dad left before I was three, Jesus was there with me. When I suffered the loss of my home when Mom left us at the orphanage, Jesus was there holding me. When I suffered the loss of my innocence before I was four years old, Jesus was covering my nakedness. All my suffering and shame…all but loss to gain You, my light and my life.

[…] it had opened her eyes to the fact that right down in the depths of her own heart she really had but one passionate desire, not for the things which the Shepherd had promised, but for himself. All she wanted was to be allowed to follow him forever.

Other desires might clamor strongly and fiercely nearer the surface of her nature, but she knew now that down in the core of her own being she was so shaped that nothing could fit, fill, or satisfy her heart but he himself. Nothing else really matters, she said to herself, "only to love him and to do what he tells me. I don’t know quite why it should be so, but it is. All the time, it is suffering to love and sorrow to love, but it is