The Other Patient

By Kenny Markanich

If you have ever heard the words, “You have cancer” then you know what it is like to walk down a path you never wanted to travel.
Such a journey can seem overwhelming, and there are seemingly never-ending twists and turns along the way, some of which may lead to experimental or new treatments.
This book, however, is not about all that – rather, it focuses on the caregiver, or “the other patient.”
The author, who has battled cancer himself, recalls the challenges of caring for his wife, who was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer.
The couple’s children did not think their dad would deal with it well, as caregiving was not in his wheelhouse. He was the one who planned vacations, went to sporting events and enjoyed having fun, but suddenly he found himself in a new role … and it was hard.
The stories he highlights don’t only come from his own experiences, but also highlight what other patients and their caregivers at The Oasis of Hope Hospital have experienced.
Whether you’re a patient, nurse, or caregiver, you’ll be inspired to overcome challenges and face the future – no matter what it brings – with the wisdom in The Other Patient.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: May 22, 2023
• ISBN: 9798765241332

Kenny Markanich

Kenny Markanich has authored multiple articles that have been published by National Geographic as well as by the Business Journals Leadership Trust, and he was awarded First Place for Excellence in Craft by the Southeastern Outdoor Press Association. In 2019, The Wall Street Journal published an article covering his success as a seventh-degree black belt and the cancer challenges he and his wife were both going through.

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Copyright © 2023 Kenny Markanich.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

ISBN: 979-8-7652-4132-5 (sc)

ISBN: 979-8-7652-4134-9 (hc)

ISBN: 979-8-7652-4133-2 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2023907512

Balboa Press rev. date: 06/19/2023

Contents

Inspiration to Write the Book

Foreword

Preface

1 What about You? It’s All about You

2 Who’s on First, What’s on Second, and How Do You Make Sense of It?

3 Sounds of Silence

4 Make It a Spa Day

5 One Day at a Time

6 Do You Hear What I Hear?

7 Lean on Me

8 The Never-Ending Story—That Still Needs to Be Told

9 It’s My Party and I’ll Cry If I Want To

10 Faith: That’s the Power of God

11 Food, Glorious Food

12 Try It, You’ll Like It

13 Searching for Treasure … and Truth

14 All in the Family

15 It Takes a Community

16 You Get by with a Little Help from Your Friends

17 No Regrets: A Common Thread

18 They Call Me Mr. Tibbs

19 Fundraising: Where There’s a Will, There’s a Way

20 Starting All Over Again Is Going to Be Rough, but We’re Going to Make It

21 When The Tax Man Cometh

Further Information

Inspiration to Write the Book

While at The Oasis of Hope Hospital for the first three-week stay of my wife’s cancer treatments, I began a journal to write out my personal experiences and my observations of what was taking place around me. After a few weeks of writing, titles started to form, and chapters began to develop. This continued after my wife and I went home, and during our next visit to Oasis for treatment, I sat down with Dr. Contreras, director, president, and chairman of the hospital, and told him that I believed I was developing a book that might be beneficial to others who found themselves in a similar situation. The people at Oasis knew of no other book about caregiving stories of this nature, and they thought it was a wonderful idea.

During a follow-up meeting with Dr. Ceceña, he made mention of the fact that Oasis of Hope needed to provide care to two patients: (1) the cancer patient and (2) the other patient, that being the caregiver. It was clear to them that both needed guidance and healing. At that moment, the title The Other Patient was born.

Foreword

From a Cancer Patient’s Perspective

You have stage-4 non-Hodgkins lymphoma, Mr. Spilchuk.

I heard these words in 2009. After I caught my breath the doctor implied that I should ‘get my affairs in order’. After taking a moment to ponder and digest what he implied, I responded with, I haven’t had any affairs! The somewhat surprised and stoic-face doctor locked eyes with me and uttered, That’s not funny. This is serious, Mr. Spilchuk! Truthfully, I still thought my declaration was humorous and I’m pretty sure that the attending Nurse managed a slight smile when she heard my fun-filled confession. At the start of my five-week in-patient stay in the cancer ward I prayed for three things:

First - I prayed for healing.

Second - I prayed for my family to be able to deal with any and all stresses and anxieties that are obviously placed on them when their loved one hears those devastating words, ‘You’ve got cancer!’

Third - I prayed for a way to cope and deal with my own fears and stay in honest communication with my Nurses.

Prayer number one was for me. Prayer two and three were for the people who were watching over me - the caregivers - AKA - the Other Patients. Laying in my hospital bed I had time to think about each and every one of my family members and each one of the 16 different Nurses that anointed me with unconditional love and support for 36 days.

The very first night I had the thought, ’They are caring for me - who is caring for them? Who cares for the Caregivers?’ I felt such compassion for these Angels of the Infirmary. Every night I witnessed them tenderly and lovingly deal with each patient’s fears and anxieties while they tried to manage their own stresses and overwhelm. I said another prayer, Heavenly Father, how can I make it easier on my Caregivers? How can I lighten their load? An instantaneous answer came in five simple words: Be yourself - make them smile.

To that I said, Thank You, Jesus! All that happened in 2009. To this day I still stop by the hospital from time-to-time to thank my Nurses. The Doctors helped me heal. The Nurses saved my life. God made it all possible. If you want to know one way to care for the Caregivers in your life - AKA the Other Patients - I’ll pass on the same Heavenly wisdom I received: Be yourself - Lighten their load.

Another important piece of advice I can share is - pour over every page of this heartfelt book and follow the kindness and wisdom supplied by Kenny Markanich. Then you can imagine the smiles and the heartfelt hugs you’ll receive from The Other Patients in your life.

I wish you love, joy and optimum health.

Barry Spilchuk - Author - THE cANCER DANCE

Founder - www.IamAsurvivorClub.com

Co-author – A Cup of Chicken Soup for the Soul

Preface

Let me begin by saying what this book is not about. Those of us who have heard the words, You have cancer, have all had unique personal stories that engulfed us and our families and took us totally off the path we were on. Each of them is overwhelming to a different degree and over time involves seemingly never-ending twists and turns into new avenues of treatments and changes. This book is not about that. This book is for the caregiver or, in this instance, the other patient.

The stories included in this book