Flower of Steel Vol. 1 (novel): Flower of Steel, #1

By Hong Heesu

Tossed to the side. Yearning for stability. Rediscovering true love.

 

Marina von Harrant tasted the sweetness of first love as a child at the Imperial Palace, playing chess with a teary-eyed boy. As the years passed, that golden afternoon became a faint yet precious memory.

 

When her engagement ends in betrayal at the age of eighteen, Marina pursues her dream job: she becomes a government official and returns to the Imperial Palace. Hopeful about meeting her sweetheart again, she instead finds herself buried under piles of grueling work. Despite that, her first love soon resurfaces, but not in the way she expected. Now, Marina is caught in a complicated love affair with three men within the Imperial Palace: the arrogant Crown Prince, the flirtatious Senior Secretary, and the amiable Royal Knight.

 

With work up to her neck and three men occupying her thoughts, will Marina be able to become a legendary bureaucrat and find her lost love? She'll have to navigate ups and downs, and soldier through twists and turns, in pursuit of her slice of happiness.

 

When the world's against you, it takes nerves of steel to fight back.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Astral Rabbit
• Release date: May 11, 2023
• ISBN: 9781954707504

Book preview

ACT 1: STANDING ALONE

‘W hat could I have done differently when your heart had already left me a long time ago…?’ I thought despairingly.

I saw my fiancé very close to another woman. I had to clench my teeth to hold back tears. Out of all the clothes he had, he was wearing the ones I had handmade for him to congratulate him on getting his government job. But now he had wore them to make out with another girl!

He was frantic when he came over to me to explain. Marina, it’s not what you think.

Of course. It must be more than what I think it is, I said, as I reflected on the recent past. ‘Oh, yes. When was it? It was when you had kissed me before. Our lips met, but your eyes were hollow. As if they were chasing after something else.’

Let’s face it. He was not in love with me, but he didn’t need to hide it from me like this. If he had just told me that he was sick and tired of me, I would have left him first. Why did he have to be such a loser?

We’re just friends, Lady Harrant, said the girl, who moments ago was with my man. She was smiling as if I was making some big mistake.

‘Lying bitch.’ I controlled my anger and smiled sarcastically. Of course, you’re a friend, a very close and affectionate friend. I hope you two stay friends forever, okay? Just don’t hurt others while doing it.

Marina! How can you say that? my fiancé shouted. I was keeping Miss Schuteiner from falling down! She was dizzy!

Yes. The girl who made out with my man was none other than Elise von Schuteiner, who had—without rhyme or reason—bullied me for so long. I didn't want to accept it, but now that I witnessed it with my own eyes, there was no other way. I remembered the first sign of when he began to change. It was before I went to that party…

Oh? Isn’t that the daughter of Count Harrant? a girl asked, eliciting a round of scoffs.

The gaggle of girls were wearing heavy makeup, lavish accessories, and extravagant dresses. They were standing proudly under the light with their heads up. Wearing a dress that was out of trend and had no makeup on, I was dull compared to them, especially since I wasn’t wearing any accessories. Yeah, that was me: Marina von Harrant.

Ugh, she should know that everyone is watching her by now, someone muttered.

I flushed. I knew that everyone was eyeing me. Compared to those beautiful bird-like women, I was like a featherless chicken. Even a few men were laughing among themselves as they watched me.

Hey, why don’t you go talk to her? asked one man to another.

She’s… out of my league, was the reply.

‘Yeah, I know,’ I agreed inwardly. My family was poor, but though it felt a bit bitter in my mouth, I swallowed it all down along with my weakness. I was still a noble even if I didn’t dress up.

‘I will not bow to the likes of those people,’ I thought determinedly.

Although my family’s power had withered when my father was fired from his position, my family was higher ranked than the girls laughing at me. They were the ones who had to bow to me. The only reason that wasn’t happening was because of the person behind them, Elise von Schuteiner.

She was the one who had bullied me in the north. She was the only daughter of a Marquis in the central region, making them higher ranked than my family.

Marquis Schuteiner, the Minister of Foreign Affairs, loved his only daughter Elise and became overprotective after losing his wife. He was known for doing everything that his daughter wanted. As such, Elise lived a life of luxury under her father’s protection.

She had become the star of society for a few reasons, one of them being that two of the ducal families had no daughters, and another being that the Grand Duke of the North’s daughter didn’t enjoy parties. In fact, the Grand Duke’s family was veiled in secrecy as no one in that family ever attended a party.

Elise’s family’s power, however, wasn’t the only reason she was able to become the center of attention. Even without her family, she was one-of-a-kind and wildly beautiful.

When I had first seen her, I was astonished by her beauty as she made her grand appearance. Her mystical silver hair, her clear blue eyes, and her beautiful countenance made her look like an angel that had descended from on high.

‘Wow…’ I remembered thinking to myself. ‘Was that why she became everyone’s favorite?’

She was so beyond me from the beginning that I wasn’t even jealous of her. The only thing that was on my mind back then was envy. In the end, it was that girl, Elise von Schuteiner, who picked on me first.

"Oh? Are you the Lady Harrant? Your dress is quite… interesting, commented Elise. Then she scanned over me with her striking blue eyes and smirked, Well, it seems the dress isn’t the only thing that’s boring."

It was disrespectful beyond imagination that she didn’t greet me properly, and it felt miserable. I had been admiring her, but she was looking down on me. Any ordinary noble girl would have been furious or ashamed by this, but I was different. I was the one who was supporting our entire estate.

I wasn’t going to stay still and become prey for her, so I replied, Well, His Majesty is worried about the drought these days, so I thought it was my duty to be modest.

I had meant to present myself as a wise and modest noblewoman while criticizing Elise’s excess, but it backfired. She wasn’t the only one who had worn such an outfit to the party. Regardless of their wealth, all the noblewomen had put a lot of effort into their appearances as it served to proclaim their status.

What is she saying? Are you telling us that we have forgotten our duties, Lady Harrant?

All the noble ladies around me fired back with responses like that. There were many of them, too, as they were on their way to enjoy some tea. I was a fool to not think about the people around me. Honestly, I never put much thought into people dressing up with luxurious items. I thought it was one’s freedom to do so if one wished to. But I couldn’t say anything at the time due to shock.

My friends would have fought back for me, but it was likely better they weren't there. If those close to me had been ridiculed as well… that would have been much worse. I erased the thoughts of my friends as it felt like I would remember bad memories.

And just like that, I had become an outcast in the north. Even before that, people talked behind my back. While my family was noble, we didn’t have the power and wealth to back it up, so it was inevitable that we were going to be laughed at.

It was already enough to be ridiculed at for being despised by the emperor and dismissed from our position. Losing our fortune due to financial hardship on the estate only added onto the shame.

I present to you, Lord Hillain von Harsen, the son of Duke Harsen, and Lady Elise von Schuteiner, daughter of Marquis Schuteiner.

I woke up from my daydreams when a sudden voice came about, and I turned to look. A woman came into my line of sight. Looking like a foreign princess, she held onto a fine gentleman’s hand underneath the bright lights. Her smile was innocent and her movements breathtaking, but I saw through it all as disingenuous and articulated.

As I looked at her with hostility, Elise’s gaze turned in my direction. After a long look at me, she wore a certain smirk on her face. She definitely loved looking down on me. I assured myself that what she did didn’t matter to me. Although it was annoying, I could still ignore it.

‘I’ll just enjoy myself with all this great food and go home,’ I thought, picking up some cookies with an optimistic and calm mind.

It did feel a lot better. Sweets sure must be a gift from God to endure this harsh world. But people glanced over, seeming to find me eating cookies to be laughable.

This was why being a loner was sad. Though I had friends from the Academy, it was complicated. Two of them were a brother and sister, one year apart. They were the servants of the son and daughter of the Grand Duke family. Therefore, unless their masters were attending, they weren’t likely coming to the party.

Another friend was a foreign exchange student and a daughter of a family serving Princess Juvelis from the allied country Halen. It was well-known that Juvelis and her brothers were going through a civil war for the throne, so there was no way the daughter of such a family would come to another country’s party as if nothing was going on.

Of course, I also had my mother’s family that was very powerful over in the central part of the country, but countryside nobles who hated central nobles had no reason to fear them. Unlike me, Elise’s mother had deep roots in the north, so none of the nobles in this region hated her.

Thinking about that made me feel gloomy. But I quickly shook my head and clenched my fist. ‘I can’t whine about my problems or have those precious to me take on my burdens. That’s shameful.’

Just when I had that thought, I heard a voice announce that someone had arrived. I present you, the Lord Kyle von Pail, son of Viscount Pail!

‘Kyle?’ Without realizing it, my face brightened as I turned my head. The man who entered wasn’t broadly built but looked intelligent. Honestly speaking, my ideal type was always a man who needed protection, and as such, Kyle, who was thin like a bookworm, was my type of guy. Finally, someone who could be by my side had appeared. I wouldn’t have to be alone anymore.

I became excited immediately as I saw Kyle walking straight in my direction from the entrance. It bothered me that people were talking down on me the entire time, so my fiancé looked like my savior. I wanted to quickly grab him and say whatever I could, especially since I hadn’t talked to anyone in this boring party hall.

Kyle—! I called to him.

Instead of stopping in front of me, he walked past me. ‘Kyle? I’m here! Where are you going?’ My disappointed eyes followed him. His footsteps stopped in front of Elise von Schuteiner.

Oh, Lord Kyle. Welcome, said Elise. She smiled beautifully. And my man was…

Lady Elise. I want to thank you for the other day, replied Kyle.

He gave her this mesmerized look as he thanked her. What other day? I knew nothing of this. He never told me that there was something he had to thank her for.

"Oh, no need. We’re friends, aren’t we?" said Elise.

She smiled as she glanced to me with eyes full of laughter. She was telling my man to be her friend. I went numb and was so shocked I knocked back a cup of orange liquor that was in front of me. It seeped bitterly down my throat. Moments later, my stomach turned, but my mind was clear as ever.

That’s when some men approached me. ‘Oh! It’s those men I saw earlier. Why? Are they trying to pick a fight?’

Lady, if it’s not too much to ask, do you have time…

‘Oh, they aren’t trying to pick a fight. But why me? Screw the time... I feel so dizzy right now…’

Just as I was about to refuse, I saw a middle-aged gentleman who just pulled out a watch. Quickly, I pointed at him and announced, That gentleman over there can tell you the time.

Then, I turned my back on these men who looked a bit dumbfounded and headed for the terrace to ease my stomach.

It felt as if something was lodged in my chest, and I let out a long sigh as I stood there. My insides were aflame. Why had Kyle ignored me like that? I wanted an answer, but I wasn't him. How long had it been?

Then, I heard a calm voice calling my name. Marina. Why are you out here on the terrace? I was about to come to you, Kyle asked.

I had walked out here on a whim, assuring myself that Kyle would be quick to follow. However, I had actually been a bit worried that he might come out here, and it left me feeling bitter.

The situation angered me, so I corrected my facial expression and acted coldly. "Explain what happened. How did you become her friend?"

Hah… She is just a friend. She introduced me to people from the central region when she knew I had no connections there. I couldn’t tell you because it would bother you, explained Kyle as he sighed.

I felt a bit saddened and angry that he had never given me a hint. Then, I bit my lip and said frustratedly, You’re friends with a woman who you have never talked to before… Alright, that’s that. But why did you hide it from me? Why? Did you think I would object?

No, it’s nothing like that.

Why did you walk past me and up to her instead? That had been haunting me, so I spat it out.

Kyle sighed, That's what I said. I met her at a party in the capital. I was going to ignore her, but she greeted me first. We talked for a while, then I figured she wasn’t all that bad. And then, I was introduced to some people at the government, just as I told you, and we bid farewell. I just thanked her for what happened then.

To claim the woman who bullied me wasn’t all that bad… My heart sank. But I didn’t want to let him know because it would make me seem pitiful.

You could’ve told me! Do you realize how miserable I feel to know about something like this? You know! You know about me and her. I tried my best to push down my unstable emotions. If I didn’t do that, I felt I would shed some tears instead.

I swear I never talked about you while talking to her, Marina!

He tried to hug me, but I fought back and pushed him away. "Don’t hug your way out of this! I want an answer!

My stern voice made Kyle let out a deep sigh again. He frowned and spoke in a low voice, Alright. If something like that ever happens again, I will tell you first. I am sorry, Marina.

The shame that could be heard from Kyle’s voice made me feel sorry for him, so this time, I hugged him. ‘Right. Maybe you thought it was your only chance. Maybe you hid it because I would feel bad about it. I’m sorry. I think I’m taking out my anger with her on you.’

I was so depressed today, you know. You weren’t here, and everyone was looking down on me for being alone. I felt like crap, I whispered to him.

Kyle then hugged me back and kissed me on the cheek. You know that I am always on your side. I only see you.

That made me almost laugh. Moments ago, his eyes had been pinned to Elise, the most beautiful girl. Don’t even try to lie about it.

Then he smiled, I’m not lying right now.

Kyle then hugged me and pulled me into a kiss. It was disgusting as always, an uncomfortable, slimy feeling. But he was kissing me because he loved me, so I pushed back my anxiety as I kissed him back.

‘That’s right. I only have Kyle, and he only has me. This is proof that he loves me.’

It had been some time since then, and Kyle didn’t even try to hide his feelings. He was clearly exhausted whenever he saw me. Yes, I knew very well the way his eyes turned cold when he looked at me. No matter what I did for him, all I received in return was a sense of responsibility. I was the fool that had been clinging stupidly to this relationship.

I came back from the past to the present, faced my reality, and replied, Kyle, I’m sorry. You must have been tired of me clinging onto you when you no longer had feelings for me.

Kyle did not deny nor accept, and I felt tears prickling eyes. I tried to look up so I could push them back. Thoughts rushed through my mind. ‘Accept it, Marina. He is not in love with you. You had been clinging on to him. Let him go now.’

Remnants of memories rushed through. Five years of sobs and smiles. Tears threatened to drop, but I couldn’t cry. I didn’t want to look weak to them. I wouldn’t have said we were madly in love, but I trusted him to be my partner forever, so I did my best to keep it that way. But now, I felt like I wanted to tell Elise that she could keep this pile of trash.

Elise smiled annoyingly and denied the truth. Please, trust us. Kyle and I are just friends.

That’s right. Marina, trust me when I say it, added Kyle.

I was going to back off here, but they kept at it, trying to pretend to be only friends to make me a fool. ‘I couldn’t see through your facade for the past five years because I was in love with you. But now I'm not stupid, you nerdy fraud. You should’ve just accepted it! Why are you making me angry?’

‘Oh, beautiful Elise. I want to kiss your striking, scarlet lips. Though you and I are both betrothed to others, our own bond is far stronger. I realized soulmates existed when I met you. I shall always look to you, so don’t cry over that man who always makes you miserable…’ Wasn’t that how it was written? It was so touching that I had almost cried reading it, I said acidly as I recited a love letter of Kyle’s that I had found. Kyle’s face turned.

My fiancé might try to disguise his affair as friendship, but I knew the truth. Elise was the daughter of Marquis Schuteiner, a far more powerful noble than my family and the Minister of Foreign Affairs.

I had gone to the Pail’s mansion to run an errand for my father a while ago when I had found something on his desk. It seemed Kyle hadn’t expected me to visit without any prior notice, so he left an unfinished letter stuck in a book. It had made my heart sink. But I couldn’t blame him right away. After all, Kyle was at the capital at the time. I had to hold back my tears and refused his mother’s offer to stay for some tea. Then, I had run out of the mansion as if I were being chased.

As soon as I got home, I had tried to drown my sorrow in sweets. But I had such a good memory that the love letter kept coming back to my mind. The more I thought about it, the more I felt betrayed.

He even described me as a ‘stuck-up and boring woman who needed to be treated well out of necessity.’ That asshole. Friendship? To hell with it. How dare he use the word friendship to describe it? Those two had deceived their partners even if nothing physical happened.

No, please. Kyle and I are only friends. I don’t want to see you two fighting because of me. Please, reconsider, sobbed Elise. The beautiful silver-haired woman cried as she shivered like a little dove, her aquamarine eyes shedding marble-like tears.

Dammit. Her looks even made me go soft. I could see why she was considered the most beautiful woman in this entire empire. Her beauty made me want to pull her hair out to tone it down! But the lies coming out of her mouth make her gorgeous face seem even more fake. Thankfully, it helped me to cool down and think this over.

‘Alright, Elise. You sure are hostile towards me.’ She wasn’t satisfied with bullying me, so she had gone this far to hurt me.

"That’s easy for you to say. I’m done with him, and I won't reconsider it. Lady Schuteiner, you sure are something. How many so-called friends do you have? How many did you seduce with a facade of friendship—"

I cut off as I felt a burn on my cheek and my head turned sideways from a harsh blow across my face. Kyle had slapped me.

‘Damn prick, why is he hitting me? Ugh, my face is going to swell up. I’ll need some ice packs when I get home,’ I thought as I looked up again.

Lady Schut—No, that bitch’s eyes were wide open from what had just happened. She looked at us as if she were the one hurt before fleeing. Crap! I wasn't done yet, and she left! She must have done it to make me angry.

As I glared at her retreating back, I heard Kyle angrily begin to speak, You should watch your mouth! She's not like you! She’s not rough, and she doesn’t read other people’s letters like you! She's a noblewoman!

Oh, is she so noble that she flirts with taken men? The words almost came flying out of my mouth, but I felt so miserable that I had to push them back down.

I glared at him. Hearing Kyle praise her while badmouthing me made me want to cry. However, I reminded myself of my anger again and again so I could push back the misery and act cold.

I put on a smirk. Too bad, Kyle. How do you feel to be abandoned from the woman you loved so much? Is she so precious, unlike me, that you can’t even lay a hand on her?

Yeah! Lady Schuteiner isn't manly or uncontrollable, and she doesn’t brag like you do!

‘Stay calm. Let’s not get hurt.’ I repeated to myself as he continued hurling abuse at me.

What did you say when I was having a hard time at work? Oh, right, ‘You should stop complaining and try hard because it’s difficult but honorable work, and the chancellor is a fair man, so he’ll recognize your efforts?’ All you did was lecture and talk down to me!

‘Was that it? He thought my advice was a patronizing lecture?’ I had said that, but I did it because I loved him and wished the best for him.

But she cried for me when I was in trouble. She told me that it was because I’m talented but have no connections that I’m working as a lowly clerk. That’s why she introduced me to other officials!

I had also been aware that Kyle was struggling to survive since he didn’t have any connections. That was why I tried my best to get him introduced to the chancellor. I heard from my father that the chancellor liked to place bets, so I had challenged him to chess—a game he had never lost. I made a bet and asked him to watch over Kyle because he was an intelligent and talented young man. The chancellor found me interesting and offered to do as I asked if I could beat him. After pretending to barely beat him 3 to 2, I earned his promise.

After that, Kyle transferred to another department, and I was able to see him smile and talk about how his treatment improved. I had felt good that it worked out. Right, I had tried my best to nurture him, but now…

Unlike you, she understands my feelings. I don’t care if you talk badly of me, but just keep your cheap mouth shut about her! Kyle shouted.

‘I hid what I had done because I worried you might think I had gone too far, but it was all useless in the end…’ I thought morosely, before saying, Alright, I understand your love for her. I will disappear from your sight now, so best of luck wooing a woman with a fiancé. Oh, actually you can’t. You’re not in her league. I’m pretty sure her fiancé is the crown prince.

Kyle became cold as he looked at me. But my heart was so leaden that I couldn’t feel any pain from his glare.

Were you always this cold? he asked. I’m scared of you. I can’t believe that you were once my fiancée.

At last, he said aloud that he was done with me. I smiled bitterly. ‘Kyle, don’t you remember? You said you liked my bold character, like when I saved you from being bullied by the other kids. Your innocent look warmed my heart.

‘You also envied how boldly I expressed myself, and I appreciated you for that. I loved you like a flower that I raised, so I did my best to help you. Although it wasn’t burning love, I thought spending my life with a good man like you was going to be great. So, I tried my best. It’s not me who changed but you. I was always like this, and the traits of mine that you once loved are now scary and vile to you.’

Yeah. I am what you see. I always have been, so let’s stop here. I am sick and tired of this and just… I trailed off, slowly accepting that he no longer viewed me as a knight in shining armor, nor a patron saint. Now… now it seemed like I was an evil witch who cursed him and wanted to hurt his lady love.

Resolving myself, I continued, Let’s end it here and not see each other again. Even if we meet accidentally, let’s pretend we don't know each other. You and I aren’t even friends. We’re strangers. I dumped you.

We glared at one another. Then I smirked and began to walk away. My legs felt like they would fail me, but I did my best to walk proudly. I didn’t want to falter in front of him.

It may have been incorrect to say I dumped him when he never actually had me in the first place. However, I still wanted to walk away, standing tall and proud in a way that he had used to like. That was why I was trying so desperately to hold back my tears.

Even if in his current state, he saw me as an evil witch… Or at least I was fairly sure he did. Still, I walked away from the man I used to love with my head held high. ‘Yes, there is no need to leave any loose ends on my way out.’

Wearing a beautiful dress, I fearlessly stood with everyone’s attention on me in the room. Elise von Schuteiner, homewrecker