Thomas Middleton’s Women Beware Women: A Retelling

By David Bruce

This is an easy-to-read retelling of Thomas Middleton’s tragedy WOMEN BEWARE WOMEN. Reading this retelling first will make reading the original play much easier.

• Language: English
• Publisher: David Bruce
• Release date: Apr 24, 2023
• ISBN: 9798215406892

David Bruce

I would like to see my retellings of classic literature used in schools, so I give permission to the country of Finland (and all other countries) to give copies of my eBooks to all students and citizens forever. I also give permission to the state of Texas (and all other states) to give copies of my eBooks to all students forever. I also give permission to all teachers to give copies of my eBooks to all students forever.Teachers need not actually teach my retellings. Teachers are welcome to give students copies of my eBooks as background material. For example, if they are teaching Homer’s “Iliad” and “Odyssey,” teachers are welcome to give students copies of my “Virgil’s ‘Aeneid’: A Retelling in Prose” and tell students, “Here’s another ancient epic you may want to read in your spare time.”Do you know a language other than English? I give you permission to translate any of my retellings of classic literature, copyright your translation in your name, publish or self-publish your translation (but do say it's a translation of something I wrote), and keep all the royalties for yourself.Libraries, download my books free. This is from Smashwords' FAQ section:"Does Smashwords distribute to libraries?"Yes! We have two methods of distributing to libraries: 1. Via library aggregators. Library aggregators, such as OverDrive and Baker & Taylor's Axis360 service, allow libraries to purchase books. Smashwords is working with multiple library aggregators, and is in the process of signing up additional aggregators. 2. On August 7, 2012, Smashwords announced Library Direct. This distribution option allows libraries and library networks to acquire and host Smashwords ebooks on their own servers. 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He has also retired from teaching English and philosophy at Ohio University in Athens, Ohio.SOME BOOKS BY DAVID BRUCERetellings of a Classic Work of Literature:Arden of Favorsham: A RetellingBen Jonson’s The Alchemist: A RetellingBen Jonson’s The Arraignment, or Poetaster: A RetellingBen Jonson’s Bartholomew Fair: A RetellingBen Jonson’s The Case is Altered: A RetellingBen Jonson’s Catiline’s Conspiracy: A RetellingBen Jonson’s The Devil is an Ass: A RetellingBen Jonson’s Epicene: A RetellingBen Jonson’s Every Man in His Humor: A RetellingBen Jonson’s Every Man Out of His Humor: A RetellingBen Jonson’s The Fountain of Self-Love, or Cynthia’s Revels: A RetellingBen Jonson’s The Magnetic Lady: A RetellingBen Jonson’s The New Inn: A RetellingBen Jonson’s Sejanus' Fall: A RetellingBen Jonson’s The Staple of News: A RetellingBen Jonson’s A Tale of a Tub: A RetellingBen Jonson’s Volpone, or the Fox: A RetellingChristopher Marlowe’s Complete Plays: RetellingsChristopher Marlowe’s Dido, Queen of Carthage: A RetellingChristopher Marlowe’s Doctor Faustus: Retellings of the 1604 A-Text and of the 1616 B-TextChristopher Marlowe’s Edward II: A RetellingChristopher Marlowe’s The Massacre at Paris: A RetellingChristopher Marlowe’s The Rich Jew of Malta: A RetellingChristopher Marlowe’s Tamburlaine, Parts 1 and 2: RetellingsDante’s Divine Comedy: A Retelling in ProseDante’s Inferno: A Retelling in ProseDante’s Purgatory: A Retelling in ProseDante’s Paradise: A Retelling in ProseThe Famous Victories of Henry V: A RetellingFrom the Iliad to the Odyssey: A Retelling in Prose of Quintus of Smyrna’s PosthomericaGeorge Chapman, Ben Jonson, and John Marston’s Eastward Ho! A RetellingGeorge Peele: Five Plays Retold in Modern EnglishGeorge Peele’s The Arraignment of Paris: A RetellingGeorge Peele’s The Battle of Alcazar: A RetellingGeorge Peele’s David and Bathsheba, and the Tragedy of Absalom: A RetellingGeorge Peele’s Edward I: A RetellingGeorge Peele’s The Old Wives’ Tale: A RetellingGeorge-A-Greene, The Pinner of Wakefield: A RetellingThe History of King Leir: A RetellingHomer’s Iliad: A Retelling in ProseHomer’s Odyssey: A Retelling in ProseJason and the Argonauts: A Retelling in Prose of Apollonius of Rhodes’ ArgonauticaThe Jests of George Peele: A RetellingJohn Ford: Eight Plays Translated into Modern EnglishJohn Ford’s The Broken Heart: A RetellingJohn Ford’s The Fancies, Chaste and Noble: A RetellingJohn Ford’s The Lady’s Trial: A RetellingJohn Ford’s The Lover’s Melancholy: A RetellingJohn Ford’s Love’s Sacrifice: A RetellingJohn Ford’s Perkin Warbeck: A RetellingJohn Ford’s The Queen: A RetellingJohn Ford’s ‘Tis Pity She’s a Whore: A RetellingJohn Lyly's Campaspe: A RetellingJohn Lyly's Endymion, the Man in the Moon: A RetellingJohn Lyly's Gallathea, aka Galathea, aka Galatea: A RetellingJohn Lyly's Love's Metamorphosis: A RetellingJohn Lyly's Midas: A RetellingJohn Lyly's Mother Bombie: A RetellingJohn Lyly's Sappho and Phao: A RetellingJohn Lyly's The Woman in the Moon: A RetellingJohn Webster’s The White Devil: A RetellingJ.W. Gent.'s The Valiant Scot: A RetellingKing Edward III: A RetellingMankind: A Medieval Morality Play (A Retelling)Margaret Cavendish's The Unnatural Tragedy: A RetellingThe Merry Devil of Edmonton: A RetellingRobert Greene’s Friar Bacon and Friar Bungay: A RetellingThe Taming of a Shrew: A RetellingTarlton’s Jests: A RetellingThomas Middleton and Thomas Dekker’s The Roaring Girl: A RetellingThomas Middleton and William Rowley’s The Changeling: A RetellingThomas Middleton's A Chaste Maid in Cheapside: A RetellingThomas Middleton's Women Beware Women: A RetellingThe Trojan War and Its Aftermath: Four Ancient Epic PoemsVirgil’s Aeneid: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s 5 Late Romances: Retellings in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s 10 Histories: Retellings in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s 11 Tragedies: Retellings in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s 12 Comedies: Retellings in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s 38 Plays: Retellings in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s 1 Henry IV, aka Henry IV, Part 1: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s 2 Henry IV, aka Henry IV, Part 2: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s 1 Henry VI, aka Henry VI, Part 1: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s 2 Henry VI, aka Henry VI, Part 2: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s 3 Henry VI, aka Henry VI, Part 3: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s All’s Well that Ends Well: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Antony and Cleopatra: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s As You Like It: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s The Comedy of Errors: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Coriolanus: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Cymbeline: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Hamlet: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Henry V: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Henry VIII: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s King John: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s King Lear: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Love’s Labor’s Lost: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Macbeth: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Measure for Measure: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s The Merchant of Venice: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s The Merry Wives of Windsor: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Othello: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Pericles, Prince of Tyre: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Richard II: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Richard III: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s The Tempest: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Timon of Athens: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Titus Andronicus: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Troilus and Cressida: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s The Two Gentlemen of Verona: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s The Two Noble Kinsmen: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s The Winter’s Tale: A Retelling in ProseChildren’s Biography:Nadia Comaneci: Perfect TenAnecdote Collections:250 Anecdotes About Music250 Anecdotes About Opera250 Anecdotes About Religion250 Anecdotes About Religion: Volume 2Be a Work of Art: 250 Anecdotes and StoriesThe Coolest People in Art: 250 AnecdotesThe Coolest People in the Arts: 250 AnecdotesThe Coolest People in Books: 250 AnecdotesThe Coolest People in Comedy: 250 AnecdotesCreate, Then Take a Break: 250 AnecdotesDon’t Fear the Reaper: 250 AnecdotesThe Funniest People in Art: 250 AnecdotesThe Funniest People in Books: 250 AnecdotesThe Funniest People in Books, Volume 2: 250 AnecdotesThe Funniest People in Books, Volume 3: 250 AnecdotesThe Funniest People in Comedy: 250 AnecdotesThe 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Book preview

Thomas Middleton’s

Women Beware Women:

A Retelling

David Bruce

Copyright 2023 by Bruce D. Bruce

***

Cover Photograph:

https://pixabay.com/photos/portrait-contrast-lighting-woman-4193979/

***

Do you know a language other than English? If you do, I give you permission to translate this book, copyright your translation, publish or self-publish it, and keep all the royalties for yourself. (Do give me credit, of course, for the original retelling.)

I would like to see my retellings of classic literature used in schools, so I give permission to the country of Finland (and all other countries) to give copies of any or all of my retellings to all students forever. I also give permission to the state of Texas (and all other states) to give copies of any or all of my retellings to all students forever. I also give permission to all teachers to give copies of any or all of my retellings to all students forever. Of course, libraries are welcome to use my eBooks for free.

Teachers need not actually teach my retellings. Teachers are welcome to give students copies of my eBooks as background material. For example, if they are teaching Homer’s Iliad and Odyssey, teachers are welcome to give students copies of my Virgil’s Aeneid: A Retelling in Prose and tell them, Here’s another ancient epic you may want to read in your spare time.

CAST OF CHARACTERS

Duke of Florence.

Lord Cardinal, brother to the Duke.

Two Cardinals more.

A Lord.

Fabritio, father to Isabella.

Hippolito, brother to Fabritio.

Guardiano, uncle to the Foolish Ward.

The Foolish Ward, a rich young heir.

Leantio, a factor, husband to Brancha. A factor is a commercial agent — a merchant’s agent or clerk. Leantio’s social class was lower than that of Brancha.

Sordido, the Foolish Ward’s serving-man.

Livia, sister to Fabritio and Hippolito.

Isabella, daughter to Fabritio.

Brancha, Leantio’s wife. A messenger says that she is about sixteen years old.

Mother to Leantio, a widow. She is sixty years old, which this society considers old.

States (aka Nobles) of Florence, Citizens, an Apprentice, Boys, Messenger, and Servants.

SCENE: Florence.

NOTES:

Thomas Middleton’s characters tend to be flawed, not saintly.

Some editors say that Livia is the sister of Hippolito, while other editors say that she is the sister-in-law of Hippolito. In 2.2, Livia’s does call Isabella’s mother her sister. The word sister, however, can mean sister-in-law. Of course, the words father and brother can also refer to in-laws.

In this society, a person of higher rank would use thou, thee, thine, and thy when referring to a person of lower rank. (These terms were also used affectionately and between equals.) A person of lower rank would use you and your when referring to a person of higher rank.

Sirrah was a title used to address someone of a social rank inferior to the speaker. Friends, however, could use it to refer to each other.

The word wench at this time was not necessarily negative. It was often used affectionately.

CHAPTER 1

— 1.1 —

Leantio and Brancha met Leantio’s mother, and Leantio went over to his mother to speak to her. Leantio and Brancha had recently eloped, and they had just come from Venice to Florence. Brancha was far enough away from Leantio and his mother that she perhaps could not hear them speak about her.

Leantio’s mother said to him:

"Thy sight was never yet more precious and happy to me. Welcome with all the affection of a mother that comfort can distill from natural love.

"Since my joy at thy birth — a mother’s chief gladness, after she’s undergone her curse of sorrows in the pain of childbirth — thou were not dearer to me than this hour that presents thee to my heart.

Welcome, again!

Leantio said to himself, Alas, poor affectionate soul, how her joys speak to me and move me! I have observed it often, and I know it is the fortune commonly of knavish, rebellious children to have the most loving mothers.

He sometimes went against the wishes of his mother, and yet she continued to love him.

Leantio’s mother asked him, Who’s this gentlewoman?

Leantio said:

"Oh, you have named the most highly valuable acquisition that the youth of man had ever knowledge of.

As often as I look upon that treasure and know that it is mine — there lies the blessing! — it makes me rejoice that I ever was ordained to have a being — an existence — and to live among men.

Leantio was a commercial agent, and he spoke about his wife, Bianca, using terms of commerce.

Leantio continued:

Life is usually full of fears, and life is usually poor. Let a man truly think about it: to have the toil and griefs of fourscore years put up in a white sheet, tied with two knots.

The white sheet was a shroud, which was tied with knots at the top and the bottom.

Leantio continued:

"I think it should strike earthquakes and put the fear of God in adulterers, when even the very sheets they commit sin in may prove to be, for anything they know, all their last garments.

"Oh, what an example would be there for women then!

But beauty, which is able to content a conqueror whom the possession of the Earth could scarcely content, keeps me in compass and within limits.

Alexander the Great conquered the world that was known to him, and then he is said to have wept because no more worlds were left for him to conquer.

Leantio continued:

I find no wish in me inclined sinfully to this man’s sister, or to that man’s wife. In love’s name let them keep their chastity and cleave to their own husbands — it is their duties.

In other words: Brancha’s beauty keeps Leantio from wishing to commit adultery.

Leantio continued:

Now when I go to church, I can pray honestly, nor shall I come like gallants only to see faces, as if lust went to market continually on Sundays.

Some gallants went to church mostly to see the pretty women there.

Leantio continued:

I must confess I am guilty of one sin, mother, more than the original sin I brought into the world with me.

The original sin was committed in the Garden of Eden. This sin was then passed down to all of Adam and Eve’s descendants in the form of an innate tendency to sin.

Leantio continued:

But that sin I glory in. It is theft, but it is as noble a theft as ever greatness yet shot up with.

It was a theft that could help him rise socially in the world and become a great man.

What sin is that? Leantio’s mother asked him.

Leantio said:

It is never to be repented, mother, although sin is death.

Romans 6:23 states, "For the wages of sin is death […]" (King James Version).

Leantio continued:

I would have died, if I had not sinned, and here’s my masterpiece.

He pointed to Brancha and asked:

"Do you now behold her?

"Look on her well, she’s mine; look on her better. Now say if it isn’t the best piece of theft that ever was committed, and I have my pardon for it.

It is sealed and ratified from heaven by marriage.

Leantio’s mother said, You are married to her!

Brancha was a gentlewoman. Leantio was below her in social class.

Leantio said:

"You must keep it secret, mother. I am undone and ruined if you don’t keep it secret. If it should become known, then I have lost her. Do just think now what that loss is; life’s only a trifle to it!

"From Venice, which is her birthplace, her consent and I have brought her from parents great in wealth, but now greater in rage. But let storms expend their furies; now that we have got a shelter over our quiet innocent loves, we are contented.

Little money she’s brought me. View only her face, and you may see all her dowry, except that which lies locked up in hidden virtues, like jewels kept in cabinets.

Leantio’s mother said, You’re to blame — if your obedience to your mother will allow you to hear a check and rebuke — to wrong such a perfection of beauty.

What! Leantio said.

Leantio’s mother said:

"You have wronged such a creature by drawing her away from her fortune, which, no doubt, in the fullness of time, might have proved rich and noble.

You don’t know what you have done.

Leantio had married Brancha without her parents’ permission and therefore he had gotten no dowry. Such a dowry would have allowed her to live the lifestyle to which she was accustomed. If Brancha had stayed at home and had married a man whom her parents approved of, she would have lived and have continued to live a luxurious life.

Leantio’s mother continued:

I during my life can give you but little help, and my death can give you only lesser hopes.

In other words: I can help you only a little while I am alive, and I can leave you little when I am dead.

Leantio’s mother continued:

"And hitherto your own means have just barely managed to maintain your life as a single man, and that in hard circumstances, too.

"What ability have you to do her right then in maintenance befitting her birth and virtues?

Every woman of necessity looks for comfort in life, and most wish to go above and improve on the life to which they were born. They do not wish to be confined by their circumstances, virtues and abilities, bloods, or births, but instead they wish to satisfy their overflowing desires, wishes, and whims.

In other words: Women want to live well and to live better — perhaps much better — than they were raised.

Leantio said quietly to his mother:

"Speak low, sweet mother.

"You are able to spoil and corrupt as many as come within the hearing of what you say. If it is not your fortune to mar everything, I much marvel at it.

"I ask you to not teach her — my wife — to rebel, when she’s in a good way to showing obedience to me.

"I ask you to not teach her to rise with other women in commotion and insurrection against their husbands in order to get six gowns a year, and so maintain their cause (when they’re once victorious) in all other things that require cost enough.

"They are all of them a kind of spirits soon called up and raised, but not so soon sent down and laid to rest, mother. As, for example, a woman’s belly — that is, her appetite or desire for something — is got up in a trice, and it is simply charge — that is, nothing but expense — before her belly is laid down again. So it is always in all their quarrels and in their courses of action.

"And I’m a proud man. I hear nothing about them: nothing about these troublesome spirits. They’re very still, I thank my happiness, and they are sound asleep. Please don’t let your tongue wake them.

"If you can but rest quietly and be quiet, she will be contented with all conditions that my fortunes bring her to. She will be contented to keep close and live a secluded life at home as a wife who loves her husband. She will be contented to go according to the rate of my ability and live within my means.

"And she will not obey the licentious swinge and sway and impulse of her own will, like some of her old school fellows.

She intends to take out and copy other works in a new sampler, and frame the fashion of an honest love, which knows no wants.

Literally, a sampler is a piece of skillful embroidery that can be framed. Brancha will take out — remove — the work of an old sampler and embroider new work in it.

Figuratively, Brancha will follow a way of life different from that of her school friends. They will seek to satisfy their material desires, but Leantio hoped that Brancha will be an obedient wife and live happily within his modest means.

Leantio continued:

But mocking poverty brings forth more children, to make rich men wonder at divine providence, which feeds mouths of infants, and sends them no infants to feed, but which instead stuffs their rooms with fruitful moneybags and rich possessions and which stuffs their beds with barren wombs.

According to Leantio, one advantage of poverty is that poor people tend to have more children than rich people.

Leantio continued:

Good mother, don’t make things worse than they are because of your too much openness. Please take heed of your too much openness and don’t imitate the envy of old people who strive to mar good entertainment because they are past it.

In other words: Old people no longer have sex, and they want to stop the sexual activity of others.

Leantio continued:

"I would have you feel more pity for youth, especially to your own flesh and blood.

I’ll prove to be an excellent husband. Here’s my hand.

He held his hand up as if swearing to tell the truth in a court of law.

Leantio continued:

I will lay in provisions and feed us, I will follow my business roundly, and I will make you a grandmother in forty weeks.

Roundly means energetically, and the word business often refers to sex.

Leantio was promising to be a good provider of food and sex for Brancha.

Leantio concluded:

Go, and please greet her and bid her welcome cheerfully.

Leantio’s mother kissed Brancha and said:

Gentlewoman, thus much is a debt of courtesy, which fashionable strangers pay each other at a kind meeting.

Then there’s more than one kiss. Due to the knowledge I have of your near kinship to me, I am bold to come kiss you again.

Leantio’s mother kissed Brancha a second time and said:

And now I greet you by the name of ‘daughter,’ which may lay claim to more than ordinary respect.

Leantio’s mother kissed Brancha — her daughter-in-law — a third time.

Leantio said to himself, Why, this is well done now, and I think few mothers of threescore years will improve on it.

Threescore years is sixty years.

What I can bid you welcome to is humble, Leantio’s mother said. But make it all your own. We are very needy, and we cannot welcome you in accordance with what you’re worth.

Leantio said to himself:

Now this is scurvy; and it is spoken as if a woman lacked her teeth.

The word scurvy can mean annoying, and the disease scurvy can lead to loss of teeth.

Leantio continued saying to himself:

These old folks talk of nothing but physical defects because they grow so full of them themselves.

Brancha said:

"Kind mother, nothing can be lacking to her who enjoys all her desires. If Heaven will send a quiet peace along with this man’s