The Bone Library
By Jenni Fagan
()
About this ebook
In a journey from there to here, The Bone Library examines and interprets all of human life. Throughout the collection Jenni Fagan responds to broader themes of identity, of place, of love and the unloved.
Written in the old Dick Vet Bone Library during the author's time as writer-in-residence there, this is a vivid exploration that is honest and searching and cuts to the very core of what it is to be alive.
Jenni Fagan
Jenni Fagan is a poet, novelist and screenwriter, and has twice been nominated for the Pushcart Prize. Jenni was selected as one of Granta’s Best Young British Novelists after the publication of her debut novel, The Panopticon, which was shortlisted for the Desmond Elliott Prize and the James Tait Black Prize. Her adaptation of The Panopticon was staged by the National Theatre of Scotland to great acclaim. The Sunlight Pilgrims, her second novel, was shortlisted for the Royal Society of Literature Encore Award and the Saltire Fiction Book of the Year Award, and saw her win Scottish Author of the Year at the Herald Culture Awards. In 2022, Polygon published her most recent novel, Hex, and The Bone Library, a new poetry collection written during her time as a Writer in Residence at the Dick Vet Bone Library.
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The Bone Library - Jenni Fagan
I’M NOT A FOSSIL, YOU ARE A CURIO
My darling ossein, I have known your organic extracellular matrix
since the first seconds it began to form, still . . .
Your bones did not come from my bones,
they coalesced in ether
where all osteoblasts dawn,
tell me . . . how many carcasses are walking this earth?
The utter idiocy of vessels!
Some poor skeletons have such twisted minds to carry.
Ones who must think this – is all there is?
Delusions tell them they shan’t be judged on their actions,
in a place that will make this one look
pallid on the petrochemical
motions of Minerva,
such inciters of insanity and loss . . .
My dear sweet toxic male gene,
what’s your fucking issue with humanity?
I raise one of yours and he is fuck all
like so very many of you,
this generation are better than those
before and their bones did not come from our bones,
they arose from the dust of dinosaurs
imbued with glacier hearts,
blazed their way into existence,
in the unlikeliest of flesh forms,
what a confine! Thing is,
you were the only one who ever taught me
the meaning of love,
you are the firn in all its truth.
I am genuinely sorry my life has been so strange as this,
it’s a burden, I know it . . .
But the joy, the absolute utter brilliance
in just knowing – you, good day/bad, mercurial/sad,
raging/peaceful . . . trying,
in all of it, your bones taught my bones how to walk.
Your bones . . . taught . . . my bones, how to walk!
I am so grateful and this world . . .
It owes you and so do I,
so much more
than this, so I will lay my bones
down on the road –
just one more time, for you,
I’d do it ten more, ten thousand,
I’ll do whatever I can, so you, can one day,
for a second,
be safe awhile in your home,
sit on an old porch
and maybe sometimes
take a moment to remember
the woman you came from . . .
who was humble enough and smart enough to know,
your bones belong to no one,
you came into this life owned
by no false gods,
it’s a strange story that tells us otherwise . . .
I’ll defend whatever I can –
of your autonomy,
my child, I love every single bone in you,
bow to nobody, be free.
THE NINETEEN THIRTIES HOUSE
I keep putting slugs
out the cat flap
at night,
and nobody loves me
and children
are dying.
Slug trails silver tiles
tiny moons
hang from boughs
an iridescent tree,
across my kitchen floor
each morning,
and one person
does actually
love me
but nobody
holds me
and each day I die,
I do it
so much better
than that old wanker –
his burned retinas
haloed in twelve