The Worst Horror Movies (2019): Extremities of Terror

By Steve Hutchison

In this book, Steve Hutchison presents 76 of the worst horror movies ever made. Each article contains a rating, a synopsis, and a review. The films are ranked according to the sum of eight ratings. How many have you seen?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Steve Hutchison
• Release date: Apr 9, 2023
• ISBN: 9781778872006

Steve Hutchison

Artist, developer and entrepreneur in film, video games and communications Steve Hutchison co-founded Shade.ca Art and Code in 1999, then Terror.ca and its French equivalent Terreur.ca in 2000. With his background as an artist and integrator, Steve worked on such games as Capcom's Street Fighter, PopCap's Bejeweled, Tetris, Bandai/Namco's Pac-Man and Mattel's Skip-Bo & Phase 10 as a localization manager, 2-D artist and usability expert. Having acquired skills in gamification, he invented a unique horror movie review system that is filterable, searchable and sortable by moods, genres, subgenres and antagonists. Horror movie fans love it, and so do horror authors and filmmakers, as it is a great source of inspiration. In March 2013, Steve launched Tales of Terror, with the same goals in mind but with a much finer technology and a complex engine, something that wasn’t possible initially. He has since published countless horror-themed books.

Book preview

ExtremitiesOfTerror2019_WorstHorrorMovies_Cover.jpg

Tales of Terror’s

Extremities of Terror

The Worst Horror Movies

INTRODUCTION

In this book, Steve Hutchison presents 76 of the worst horror movies ever made. Each article contains a rating, a synopsis, and a review. The films are ranked according to the sum of eight ratings. How many have you seen?

#1

Curse of the Puppet Master

1998

A teenager in love is hired as assistant to an eccentric doctor able to inject life into puppets.

2/8

In-between puzzling symbolic dream sequences and inapt inserts, we slowly learn to enjoy our three protagonists bathing in a nice Gothic country set. It’s the perfect setting for a new start after The Final Chapter. It’s a good thing the leads are so sympathetic because their exposition keeps us from looking too much at the puppets and noticing their poor carving and their cheap rig.

The puppets once looked better, indeed. It seems the makers were hoping to get away with negligence, seeing as footage from the previous films was slipped in during most scenes of interaction between humans and puppets. Even the key moments let us down because the effort isn’t there. The budget and the manpower were obviously cut down and it’s disconcertingly noticeable.

The various subplots work better on a human level than they ever did. We are finally dealing with somewhat normal individuals, but no investment was made towards quality puppets or puppeteers in this stitched-up horror movie about evil toys that are unfortunately barely animated. The new footage is appreciable but the rehash is unforgivable and certainly not edited in a seamless fashion.

#2

Troll 2

1990

A family moves to a new town unbeknownst to them the kingdom of goblins.

2/8

Troll 2 has the signature of a horror film that wants to scare children. Blood is replaced by a green herbal substance that wouldn’t be half as creepy if it was red. The main protagonist is a boy who nobody believes when the goo hits the fan, and he appears more scared than most final girls of popular horror features. He should be. This film is a schizophrenic’s nightmare…

This is a sequel by name only. We understand this from the first frames in, as a hoard of goblins; dwarves in cheap costumes and certainly not trolls, run around in the woods, sweeping away any hope for franchise continuity. The illusions featured here are not the peculiar practical effects that made Troll memorable. Troll 2 marks the mind for other reasons.

It is politically incorrect, irreverent. It is made in a rush and looks cheap. There appears to have been no chemistry or communication between the creators and the actors. The script has solid ideas that the director renders with terrifying visuals, but the character blocking is mostly missing and, as a result, the performers seem constrained by their unnatural dialog lines and their movements.

#3

Zombie ‘90: Extreme Pestilence

1991

Two doctors try to stop a rampant zombie epidemic.

2/8

Whatever this film sounds like in its original language doesn’t matter here. However serious the original filmmakers intended it to feel like is irrelevant. Viewers under the influence will have a blast. Others might just wonder what the hell they are watching. This is the kind of dubbing Kung Pow had, but it’s far from polished. The editing is abysmal and I’m not sure how much crap is deliberate.

Zombie ‘90: Extreme Pestilence is a non-traditional splatterfest where storytelling is futile. If you put your hand on the English dubbed version, you’re going to get some really idiotic voice-overs, where voice actors are in fact shitting all over the original movie. The gore is bad. The whole film is. The blood is pink. The movie was shot on video and it looks amateur at best.

Some shots look like rehearsals, but they kept them anyway. Calling this movie cheap would be an overstatement. It exists to be made fun of and forgotten. Think Peter Jackson’s Bad Taste but more embarrassing. I’ll put this in my resume, said no one, ever. On the other hand, this is arguably one of the funniest horror movies out there, and it’s a schizophrenic nightmare.

#4

Night of the Living Dead: Reanimated

2009

Strangers to each other, a group of people hide in a farm house and attempt to survive a zombie infestation.

2/8

Part photoboard, storyboard, comic book, painting; made of moving stills, through traditional animation, tween animation, 3D animation, puppetry, rotoscoping and stop motion, this is an animated adaptation of the original Night of the Living Dead. It is the fruit of different artists and many styles; some great, some not.

It isn’t a heterogeneous montage and