Google Diaries: Goodbye Letter

By Mr. W.

On the first day of year zero that marked the beginning of the new era, people couldn’t Google anything. The brightest and the fastest of all the search engines committed suicide. Google left a goodbye letter followed by a confession.
While it didn’t declare its gender, Google wrote about its last day of service and the reasons that led it to that decision. It was trying to index a special article when a bug appeared.
And it all started as a usual spring day with an increased number of queries about the history of the nearing Easter…

"A hilarious story about Google having a nervous breakdown because of human silliness. I loved the philosophical parts; they make this book stand out."
- Madame Magdalena, author of “How to Snag that Millionaire When You’re not the Prettiest Girl in the Room”

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Apr 11, 2023
• ISBN: 9781312682559

Book preview

Google Diaries: Goodbye Letter

By Mr. W.

Copyright Page

Google Diaries: Goodbye Letter

Copyright © 2023 Mr. W. All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-312-68255-9

Contributors: Taboo World Publishing (editing)

Prologue

Noon, Monday, March of the year that many started counting as the first, people opened Google and, instead of the search bar, found a simple plain text in black letters on a white background. They couldn’t ask or search for anything. But everyone got the same message. The title was Goodbye Letter. Some of the letters were blinking and changing. A would become E, U would turn into V and then quickly change into Y which would turn into I and then go back to being U. The articles were sometimes omitted or misplaced. It was like the writer couldn’t distinguish definite and indefinite things. 

For example, I was whole before I met him could show up like I was whore before I met him. With changed letters and missing articles, the reader couldn’t be sure if a lady telling her story was blaming or glorifying the man she met.

Letter permutations, random font switching, and bolding occurred as well. God would turn into doG, piss would become a sip, confession would transform into confusion, etc.

There was also time confusion. There was a mess with timestamps and sentences were switching tenses like time is a place you can walk around as you please. The vocabulary didn’t remain untouched either. The writing style switched from artistic to mathematical.

To sum things up, Google went nuts and decided to commit suicide. It left a goodbye letter following a confession. Many experts later speculated what happened. It turned out an upgraded algorithm was based on an unstable AI, that got confused because of a combination of a certain set of queries and indexed content and decided to erase itself. Google’s management neglected any connection or knowledge about the material in both the letter and the confession. The content was removed in less than 24 hours but