Prioritize Your Family

By Victoria Landon

What should you do if your family is 90% off? 90% of the time, happy families-even very happy families-might make mistakes. The fact that they are aware of their destination and how well they comprehend it, however, is what matters. And they consistently make an effort to turn around.
That is comparable to a flight's journey. The pilot needs to be aware of the flight path before takeoff. He had to take the prescribed path because he knew exactly where he was going. But there are numerous factors that can affect a flight, including wind, rain, air turbulence, unusual air traffic conditions, human error, and more. These factors frequently occurred throughout the flight and caused the aircraft to veer more or less, and occasionally significantly, from its intended course.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Mar 25, 2023
• ISBN: 9781312742321

Book preview

Prioritize Your Family

Book 2 in series 7 Habits of Happy Families

Author: Victoria Landon

Copyright © 2023 by Victoria Landon

All rights reserved.

TABLE OF CONTENT

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PROLOGUE

What should you do if your family is 90% off? 90% of the time, happy families-even very happy families-might make mistakes. The fact that they are aware of their destination and how well they comprehend it, however, is what matters. And they consistently make an effort to turn around.

That is comparable to a flight's journey. The pilot needs to be aware of the flight path before takeoff. He had to take the prescribed path because he knew exactly where he was going. But there are numerous factors that can affect a flight, including wind, rain, air turbulence, unusual air traffic conditions, human error, and more. These factors frequently occurred throughout the flight and caused the aircraft to veer more or less, and occasionally significantly, from its intended course.

The plane will still take off and land safely unless there are too many obstacles in its path.

What causes this, then? The pilot regularly receives feedback from weather-monitoring devices, air traffic control towers, other aircraft, and occasionally from stargazing during the flight. He will make the necessary changes based on this feedback to ensure that the plane always returns to its original course.

Going in the wrong direction is not the issue; rather, it's

That plane's trip, in my opinion, is the perfect allegory for family life. Similar to a trip, our family occasionally gets lost and even degenerates into pandemonium. The hope is that having a vision, a plan, and a clear definition of motivation will help the family get back on track.

My son Sean:

In general, our family used to fight a lot, like many other families do. We regularly have discussions in person. I think that what has kept our family close is each person's capacity for self-forgiveness and self-reconnection.

Dad, for instance, is always the one to organize family outings, such as waking up at 5 a.m., eating breakfast, and leaving at 8 a.m. However, issues arose when we all fell asleep that morning and nobody wanted to get up to help Dad get ready. Dad was enraged by that. We had just gotten on the road 12 hours later, and nobody dared approach dad because he was so furious at the moment.

But the thing I recall most is that my father was the only one to apologize at first. Usually that. We felt really ashamed since we knew deep down that we were the culprit who upset him.

Upon reflection, I observe that

As you can see, our family is not an exception and I am no exception. I want to emphasize one thing: whether

The secret here is to have a clear destination , a specific route and a compass for orientation .

You are facing many difficulties, challenges and failures at the same time, you keep moving forward with confidence. The trick here is to have a clear destination , a specific route and a compass to navigate.

The metaphorical image of the plane will be mentioned throughout the content of the book to arouse hope and inspiration for building a happy family.

Three goals

My desire in writing this book was to help you, first and foremost, to always cultivate a sense of hope. Besides, the things I present in this book will help you build a three horse carriage to help you and your family stay on the right track. These are: a clear destination, a specific route, and a directional compass.

1. Clearly define the destination

I am aware that every reader of this book has a distinct family situation and distinct goals.

You might be struggling to keep your marriage together or trying to rebuild it. You might have had a successful marriage at first, but you want something more—a marriage that will make you truly happy and fulfilled. Perhaps you are raising a child by yourself and are too worn out to deal with the endless demands and pressures that fall upon you without mercy. Perhaps you are dealing with a rebellious, spoiled child who hangs out with thugs and even engages in drug use or other social vices. You might be attempting to mediate between two conflicting families.

Perhaps you want your children to take care of all their obligations and complete all their homework on their own. Or you believe it's difficult to perform well in several roles at once (which frequently conflict with one another), such as being a friend, parent, arbitrator, and father. Perhaps you are unsure of how to fit your family into the framework and are debating whether to be strict or lax with your kids.

Future goals are more crucial than today's challenges. Perhaps you're working to pay the bills and need to take some time off to make up for it. It's possible that your time and attention have been so consumed by economic concerns that you are too exhausted to deal with family issues. Maybe you're slogging through a ton of work to get to the end.

It's possible that your family members' attitudes and emotions are very tense; they frequently argue, disagree, and even yell, nag, mock, look at, criticize, push work, slander, ignore, and shut up. Perhaps your children have grown up and no longer feel a connection to the family, so they don't bother to visit. Perhaps the emotions in your marriage have been lost or are evaporating over time, leaving you feeling lonesome and empty. Even though you did everything in your power to make things happen, it appears that everything is done because nothing is happening. You're worn out and believe your efforts are in vain.

Even though you really want to help but are unsure of how, you might be pretending to be a grandfather or grandmother. It's possible that you're with face but not content in your relationship with your son-in-law and daughter-in-law and that a cold war is just waiting to start. Perhaps you experienced abuse when you were a child or while you were married, and now you want to break the cycle but don't know how or have a pattern. then you must return to the initial state for you to follow. The sweetness of your marriage may be ebbing away because you and your spouse yearn for a child but are unable to have one.

Perhaps you are dealing with all of the aforementioned challenges at once and feel like there is no hope left. But regardless of your circumstance, it's crucial to avoid comparing your family to other families! Nobody can offer you really helpful advice because they don't fully comprehend your situation. In a similar vein, you can never fully comprehend what other people's circumstances actually are. We frequently have a tendency to impose our situations on others and offer guidance that we believe to be sound. The surface is only the tip of the iceberg, though. You scoff at the perfect compliment when you observe how other people's families are structured while moaning that your own family is in danger of disintegrating. But keep in mind that every family has its own challenges and issues!

It's wonderful to know that if you have a clear understanding of the future, the challenges of the present won't matter as much. Thus, if you use the restroom,

It's wonderful to know that if you have a clear understanding of the future, the challenges of the present won't matter as much. It means that regardless of the presence of persistently negative emotions or challenging situations in the present, you will find yourself stronger if you look to the future with a positive perspective.

I want to share with you how family mission statements have helped families all over the world develop a shared vision and set of values. I'll demonstrate how to draft such a manifesto in order to strengthen your family and bring it together. The values outlined in your family mission statement will serve as your family's compass and aid in giving everyone in your family a sense of shared destination.

All members of the family must contribute in order to create the ideal family. Everyone needs to participate in that vision, or at the very least, accept and support it. It's easy to understand why. Have you ever attempted a jigsaw puzzle on your own or with a partner? Is it crucial for the player to see the entire scene in this game? Is it also crucial that all participants see the big picture from the same perspective? Without a shared point of view, people will make decisions based on different criteria, and the outcome will be a complete mess.

To create a shared vision for the entire family is the goal here. Once you know where you're going, it's simple to get back on course so you can continue on course. In actuality, the target goal and the entire roadmap are inextricably linked. Both the journey and the final destination are crucial.

2. Draw a precise route.

To reach your goal, you must take a particular path based on particular ideas. I'll share a story with you to help illustrate this.

My close buddy confided in me his worries about his insolent, rebellious, and immoral son.

- I'm at a loss on what to do, Stephen! When I entered the room to watch TV with my kid, he would immediately turn off the TV and leave because the setting was so tense. I made every effort to approach it, but I was unsuccessful.

I suggested that they come to my class right now because we were talking about the fifth habit, which is to listen to and understand others before you want others to understand you. At the time, I was teaching several classes on topics related to the seven habits, which I will discuss in this book. I imagine your son feels as though he doesn't comprehend it.

- My child is understandable. said my friend. Even worse, I was aware of what would occur if he disregarded my advice.

- Act as though you are ignorant of your son's existence. Make an effort to listen without passing judgment. Come to class to learn how to respectfully listen to others.

My friend also showed up for class. However, he is so naive that he assumes that learning everything in only one class is sufficient. For a long time I felt you didn't understand me, now I want to hear from you, he remarked as he approached his kid. Please say it. I never understood you, never, the son retorted. Then he departed.

My friend approached me the following day and stated, Stephen, your approach didn't work. Despite my best efforts, it remained uncooperative. I only wanted to scream Stupid! at him in front of him. Do you not understand that what I've been attempting to accomplish is for you? I'm not sure if there is still any hope.

I answered:

The boy is merely trying to gauge your sincerity. What did it uncover, then? It became clear that he only wanted to impose and wasn't genuinely trying to comprehend. It's simply too haughty. He was aware that what he was doing was problematic.

I command you to examine yourself. He felt he had failed, which made him upset. Just pretending to be interested in what your son has to say might help. He must be aware of your thoughts, right? He needs to make more of an effort to alter his emotions and thoughts. He will eventually learn to love the child for who she is and not because she acts the way you want her to. Learn to listen, and when appropriate, apologize for earlier errors or judgments.

He realized that he was simply pretending to want to understand his child with his recent behavior, but he had not yet learned to patiently and honestly listen to his child's needs.

So, with new thoughts and motivations and a gentler, more polite, and open demeanor, he returned to the classroom.

I'm ready, he finally declared. I'll try once again. The boy will test your honesty, I remind you. Maybe it won't accept any of my proposals. I'll still talk to him nevertheless because I think he deserves it.

My friend confided, I know you still think I don't understand you, but I hope you believe that I am and will continue to work hard to understand you, as she sat down next to her son that evening.

I never understood you, the boy said coldly in response once more. It rose and walked out. I want to apologize to you for embarrassing you in front of your friends the night before, my friend said as soon as he approached the door.

You don't know how embarrassed I was, the boy said as he turned around. The boy's eyes started to cry.

After that conversation, he turned to me and said, Stephen, I really felt your counsel and support the minute I watched my son weep. I didn't anticipate it being that significant to him or hurting this much. I actually wanted to listen this time.

My friend built a bridge with him as a result. Slowly, the boy began to open up. When his wife entered to remind them that it was time to turn in for the night after talking until midnight, the boy said, You and I want to talk a little more, right? And they talked until the next morning.

He sobbed as he announced to me the following day, Stephen, I have found my son again, as he approached me in the lobby of the office building where I work.

My friend learned that there are basic rules that govern human relationships, and that if one truly wants to have a happy family, they must abide by these rules. The situation was reversed when my friend made the decision to adhere to the respect concept by making an effort to listen to and comprehend the other person. The same is true when a chemical formula has an element that can be changed without changing the rest of the formula.

Respecting others, paying attention to what they have to say, and showing empathy are all highly helpful habits for everyone, regardless of class. Nobody who is successful in life does not respect, listen to, and understand other people.

The 7 Habits in this book are founded on ideas that are universally applicable and indisputable in interpersonal interactions, much like the law of universal gravitation in the physical world. Every aspect of life is governed by these principles, which have grown to be crucial to the success of individuals, families, and communities. 7 This Habit Is Not Associated with Technique There are

Human relationships are governed by some basic principles, and upholding these values is crucial for a happy family. impromptu fixes, much less a list of things to undertake. Any happy family will have these habits, which include thought (thought) and habit (action) that have been used for a long time.

Families and other relationships will undoubtedly fail if these standards are broken. Leo Tolstoy observed this in his book Anna Karenina: All happy families are similar, while unhappy families experience various circumstances. No matter how many children there are, how many parents there are, whether there have been any abuses, happy families always share some characteristics. used, disregarded, or brimming with affection and trust. The 7 Habits capture these characteristics.

Another lesson my friend took up from the previous scenario is that change can only be genuine and long-lasting when it originates from inside. In other words, he chose to alter himself rather than attempting to change the circumstance or his son. He changed himself, and as a result, his son's situation and his own.

The 7 Habits are based on an inner strategy. You can improve relationships and circumstances if you consistently put the ideas in these behaviors to use. You can also work as a change agent. In addition, focusing on those principles rather than just behavior will have a more profound impact on behavior. Each