How to Professionally Deal with Assholes

By Grace Gotesky

Whether it's an asshole boss, an asshole employee, or the asshole cat eating all the rice cakes--we've all considered places to bury a body. In this guide, we'll teach you the polite and professional way to co-exist with the asshole in your life--without ending up in prison.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Rose Wolf Novels
• Release date: Apr 20, 2023
• ISBN: 9798987918616

Book preview

Before You Read!

Disclaimer: This book is 50% comedy and 50% actual advice. Whether you find it helpful or laugh-or best of all, both-I don’t give a rat’s ass. If you like it, awesome. If you don’t, give it to someone who could use it. Or merely use it as a conversational centerpiece. That ought to impress the in-laws. Unless they’re assholes.

Also, I’d like to introduce you to Bob.

He has an important message for you:

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Dealing with Assholes

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What Defines an Asshole?

Assholes. They’re a normal part of life. Everyone has one, everyone knows what they are, no one likes them, and they’re annoying. And no, I don’t mean your anus. If that is the case, please, for the love of all things holy, get some hemorrhoid cream. Or rub dirt on it and walk it off. (Note: the latter will make you look like you shat your pants. You have been warned).

Though that’s delightfully off-topic, I’m talking about the detestable, good-for-nothing, drive you up a wall, kind of asshole that is seconds away from making you do something that would traumatize Dexter.

Whether it’s the employee who cannot stop whining, the boss that never communicates, kids (all parents agree with me here), or any other scenario imaginable, assholes overrun the world faster than a mice plague in Australia.

But, for simplicity’s sake, and lack of pages to cover all the world’s assholery, we’ll stick to the basics of general Assholes and how to live with them (without putting them six feet under).

So, for all intents and purposes, here’s the definition of asshole that I’ll be referring to for the rest of this guide:

ASSHOLE (as-hol): an incompetent, arrogant, unreliable, or otherwise detestable person unable to successfully function and communicate in life.

Now that we have a definition, on to the MBTI (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator) personality test of assholes.

The asshole who doesn’t know he’s an asshole (most common).

The self-aware asshole who just doesn’t give an ass.

Are you the asshole?

The asshole backed up by other assholes. (A gaggle of assholes, if you will. Yes, gaggle is for geese. Yes, that was 100% on purpose. Geese are Nature’s Assholes.)

*It’s important to note that this guide is meant to give a foundation of how to approach assholes and deal with them based on personal experience, observation, and