The Loser Lucks Out: Dancing Through the Minefields of Sex, Marriage, and Law Enforcement

By Daniel K James

John Williams, is on the run from a possible double murder during a Minnesota winter blizzard. John Williams, as always, out of luck and low on bucks. John Williams, trying to slide by, and on the sly. Faced with an ever growing list of calamities, illegal gambling, drug use, manslaughter, ticked o_ pimps, and pissed off bookies, to say nothing

• Language: English
• Publisher: Palmetto Publishing
• Release date: Feb 28, 2023
• ISBN: 9798822903876

Daniel K James

Dan James never grew up in a small Midwest rural town! Upon graduating near the bottom of his high school class, Dan packed four years of college into five and a half years of partying, finally receiving a BA in Political Science. He says, "Hey, it was easier than History. Does anyone really know what Political Science is? "__Surprisingly, as a young man with a college degree, Dan had trouble finding employment on those rare occasions that he actually looked. At the tender age of 24 Dan enrolled in the highly acclaimed, academically challenging School Of Bartending. Graduating near the top of this three week, rigorously demanding, training class, Dan launched his career as a Barman.__Later (after much encouragement from parents), Dan took the Postal Clerk/Carrier exam and scored 100 percent.__ At last, Dan had found his niche, he could read addresses and successfully sort mail._ Thirty- two wasted years later, Dan retired from the USPS, and embarked on a new career as an airline flight attendant. __Seven years, and a world of travel later, Dan and his wife left the Midwest for warm Arizona where Dan was recruited and trained as a Retirement Community Security Officer. __After a few years of securing the seniors, guarding the grandpas, and escorting the elderly, Dan turned in his badge, mounted his Toyota and rode off to the sunny shores and Gulf breezes of Florida.

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Chapter 1.

FRAT HOUSE FRACAS:

University Of Reno Wolf Pack 35, University Of Las Vegas Run-in Rebels 32.

I knew this was going to happen. In fact I was surprised that it hadn’t happened already.

Rarely did the Wolf Pack of Reno U beat their down state nemesis UNLV in football, but when it did, there were going to be wild parties, possible property damage and the occasional drunken brawl.

Sunday morning, 1:45 AM, "Post three we have a disturbance at the Theta Kai Fraternity House, respond immediately, Post four will meet you there.

This was the call I was dreading and wholly expecting. Theta Kai was the roughest, hardest, craziest Frat house on campus. Their reputation for violence, drugs, parties and general unruly behavior was worn as a badge of courage to the select Brothers that entered their hallowed house.

The hazing of the new members was grueling and challenging. For the few elite Theta Kai brothers that survived the hell-week punishment they were forced to endure, acceptance was immediate and complete. A Theta Kai man was supposed to be cut from a completely different cloth than any other Frat boys on campus. This was not a casual, friendly, brotherly arrangement, but a blood oath of loyalty and trust. A Theta Kai man was supposed to walk the college with a totally superior attitude, barely acknowledging any of the lesser forms of life that surrounded him. Any incident of embarrassment or derision toward a Theta Kai member was met with fast and complete vengeance, cars overturned, windows smashed, girlfriends captured and abused, take downs and take outs. This was not an, All for one, one for all, fraternity, but an Us against everyone, fraternity. Many of the football players and wrestlers were members of Theta Kai. On the mantle over the Theta Kai’s fireplace was inscribed the motto of the house, Hard, Strong, Tough and Ready. When a Theta Kai man walked into a classroom eyes were averted, and chairs slid inches away. Even many college administrators and professors feared them.

So as I pulled my miserable little jeep in front of the Theta Kai house I was met by, oh shit, Carly Kapland. Of all the bad luck, now this. It wasn’t that I disliked Carly, but it was generally agreed by the other College Campus Security Officers that she was totally unsuited for a job like this. Single mother of two, big surprise, petite, insecure and disorganized. Of the twenty- two male and six female Security Officers on staff, poor Carly seemed to always be in catch-up mode. Our supervisors were aware of Caryl’s shortcomings but also knew she desperately needed a check. Normally, she would be confined to office and light admin. duties. Carly, make sure the maintenance records on the jeeps are up to date. Carly, how are we doing on office supplies, make sure we have everything for the coming semester. Carly, test the batteries in all the radios, it so important that we have clear communication out there.

So as I approached the roaring Frat house, with blaring music, shrieking co-eds, and flying beer bottles I ordered little Carly away from the premises. I could see she was frightened, but doing everything she could to look confident. Listen Carly, how about you stay out here by the Jeeps. If I don’t come back in a few minutes have ops send Reno Police here. If things get tense in there I’ll try and radio that we need back-up fast. Either way, don’t come in there unless I ask for you. Carly numbly nodded and headed for the security of her locked Jeep.

Entering dear old Theta Kai I didn’t need to knock, somebody had already crashed through the front door leaving it hanging on the hinges. As I made my way to the main room I was almost knocked out by the massively overpowering smell of weed. Clearing my burning eyes I focused on the living room floor where there were four naked or near naked young girls rolling around in various states of sexual activity with six, seven, eight guys, I couldn’t tell for sure the action was so fast and the thumping, bumping, and humping so wild it was literally hard to see who was doing what to whom. Along the walls were at least twenty frat guys with five to ten sorority types all sucking down joints, swilling booze, and loudly cheering on the action. Bedlam, chaos, lunacy - somebody help me with the right term here. There was only one way I could get their attention. I slid over to the stereo and unsnapped the cord. All faces turned to me. Faster than any guy his size should move appeared a huge chunk of offensive lineman just inches from my face with pure menace in his drugged out eyes. I don’t remember inviting a tall, skinny, tin star Security creep to this party, now get lost Kojak or I’ll snap your arms like toothpicks.

One of the things I learned bartending at a ruckus boogie bar is that no matter how rowdy and dangerous the situation gets, the more in control the bartender has to be. Many times I faced off with hopelessly drunk, sexually frustrated, financially broke, gassed-out patrons who wanted to take a sloppy swing at me because I had to cut them off. Calm in the face of turbulence. Also, the bartender must not show fear. Like a tiger on the hunt, the sloshed, wasted loser can sense fear. Finally, this is not the time for sarcasm. The bartender would love to look into the bleary eyed, soaked jerk-off and say, Hey pal, I saw you spend your last five dollars on the hefty brunette that shot you down, now why don’t you be a good little alkie and go home and score with your latest playboy centerfold. This was not the time for that.

I looked past the bulky bruiser, and sniffed the air. "I’m detecting an odor that is not Lucky Strikes, and these ladies on the floor here are dedicated students, I’m sure. Let me guess. You four are teaching these studious college men blowjobs one-o-one. I’ve never seen you girls on campus so I can assume that your real career is prostitution. Finally, the mister muscle in front of me doesn’t seem to get it. He didn’t just threaten a University of Nevada employee, but an Associate of the Reno police force. So my report will include, drugs, hookers, and assault, to say nothing of underage drinking, disorderly conduct and general mayhem. Guess what guys, the party is over, forever, you dudes can kiss your Frat Charter and your asses good bye.

My report will be on my supervisor’s desk tonight and on the College President’s desk on Monday morning. Enjoy your good times, because this house will soon be a faculty and student child care facility. Bye. I headed for the door when my radio burped. This is post four, is everything good John?"

Now hold on a minute mister, the voice came from a concerned young man about twenty-two years old.

My name is not Mister, it’s Officer Williams, I snarled.

Ok now, alright, let’s talk about this for a moment. Ah, ah, look we were just having some fun, ya right guys, just a little ah, slap and tickle, a little harmless drinking, and the drugs, we’re really sorry, it won’t ever happen again, ah, right guys?.

Everyone in the room quickly nodded and agreed.

So who exactly are you? I asked the young man.

My radio chirped again, Post four, John, RPD four minutes out.

The entire room went silence, RPD was Reno Police Dept.

My name is Will, ah, I’m the President of Theta Kai, and I really don’t want us to get into trouble.

I bet you don’t Prez Will, considering this is the umpteenth time your house has been a problem for everyone.

Well, ah, maybe we could work something out, Prez Will stammered. Ah, ah, if they close us down, well, ah, we would all have to find some place else to live. That would be the end of our fraternity, I don’t think anyone wants to see that happen, ah, right guys? Everyone in the room nodded and agreed.

I shot back, Oh, well guess what Will, I know for a fact that everyone wants you closed down. All the profs, administrators, the other fraternities that you’ve terrorized all these years, everyone wants you out, and I’m the only one that can save your sorry asses.

The scared Will now moved closer to me and asked, Could you just this once cut us a break? I promise that this will be the end of it.

My radio chirped again, John, Carly here, RPD just entered the campus, two minutes out.

I thought for a second, OK, for starters you can get that smart mouth hulk over here and apologize to me.

Will shot a quick glance at the massive young man, Swanson get over here and say that you’re sorry.

Sheepishly Swanson came over, Listen Mister Security I had a great game today, and ah, well the coach even gave me one of the game balls, that means a lot to me, and I was just cutting loose. I really would never do anything, and I’m sorry.

I unsnapped my radio, Carly, enter the house and fast.

I put my finger in front of Prez Will, This one time, you get one break from me, never again, got it?

Prez Will and everyone in the room nodded in affirmation.

Carly came into the room with a wide-eyed look.

John, RPD is coming down the block, what is the situation?

I pointed to the four young now very scantily clad hookers, Run these girls out the back door and hide them in the bushes, Everybody else, lights out and lay low. I’ll do my best.

I casually walked out of the front door with a confident smile on my face just as two of Reno’s finest got out of their cruiser.

Hi guys, thanks for coming out, we’re good here, just a little loud music, everyone’s headed for bed, I said.

The older cop asked, You sure, John, nothing else?

I responded, Ya, we’re clear, just some celebrating after the big win this afternoon, been this way all night all over campus.

Now the younger cop questioned. OK, but where’s the other Security Officer, I see two Jeeps here?

Oh, Shit! Think John, think fast!

You guys know Miss Carly don’t you? they both nodded. Well in honor of our guys beating UNLV today she’s showing them how to cook a big Spanish Omelette breakfast. Isn’t she just great? The lady’s a natural mother to everyone around here, even me. The guys just love her, I said.

The two cops both smiled, nodded and headed back to their cruiser.

I could hear the older cop radio that they were leaving campus and available.

Whew!

As I turned to go back into the Frat house I could see Prez Will in the shadow, Thanks a ton, what happens now?

Two things are going to happen now, One, the next time you guys cause any trouble you won’t be known as Theta Kai, but as Sig Na Fi Nothing, that’s what you’ll be, nothing, I scolded.

Secondly I need you to call a cab for the four girls, then choke up twenty bucks for the taxi driver. Have Carly take the hookers to the end of the street, I don’t want them picked up in front of your Frat house, I ordered.

Will reached into his wallet and ripped out a twenty, I’ll just take it out of the house slush fund, he said.

Three minutes later Carly and the four young prostitutes were standing at the end of the dark street amicably chatting with each other as if they were mother and daughters.

A few minutes later the the cab pulled up and Carly and I radioed to ops that we were clear.

As we entered the Security Office Carly whispered to me, What are you going to put on our activity report? I passively put up my hand indicating that I would handle it.

Activity Report 417. University Of Nevada At Reno, Theta Kai Fraternity House, Oct. 16th:

At 1:45 AM Security Officers Williams and Kapland responded to a loud music complaint at the Theta Kai Fraternity House. Upon entering the house Officer Williams unplugged the music system and asked the house members to quiet down and stop making so much noise.

All Theta Kai members sincerely apologized and responded that it would not happen again.

After communicating to the responding Reno Police, Officer Williams and Kapland were clear for other duties at 2:10 AM."

I just love this job! Sure I do!

Chapter 2.

INVESTMENT PLANNING

FOR THE FUTURE:

Late October 1982

As I walked into the University Of Nevada At Reno Security Office at 3:00 PM I did what we all did, say Hi! to everyone and check the duty sheet.

Officer Williams: 3:45pm Lawrence Hall, until end of Financial Planning Seminar.

Nothing new about that. Whenever there was a large gathering of students and faculty a Security Officer trained in Emergency Services and Dispute Resolution should be present. All University Security Officers had now qualified as Emergency Medical Techs, and had received training in Conflict Management and Resolution. So, at 3:30 pm I entered the auditorium and introduced myself to the faculty members running the presentation. This was an optional financial program for students on the verge of graduation. Most of the attendees were science, math, art, communications and liberal art majors who might want to learn a few basics on how to handle their money.

The two thousand seat theater was about one-tenth full: sparse would be the word. The Dean of the College of Business walked to the podium and said a few words about how encouraged he was that so many students were here. The Dean then proceeded to ramble on about how This could be one of the most important seminars that these students would ever attend. It was here that a few of the students got up and walked out. Continuing with this thread, the Dean said, You students will be faced with many challenges both personal and social in the ensuing years and sound money management will alleviate many of these stresses. Now two more students slipped away. The poor Dean was losing his audience fast. Once again the Dean thanked the students for coming and introduced today’s guest speaker Kenneth Davidson, B.A. Accounting Whitman College, M.B.A Oregon State University, Certified Financial Planner.

A slender young man, maybe 31, of medium height and full hair walked to the podium. White shirt, dark tie, pressed pants, wing tips, just the kind of guy that no one would ever notice - the chap who was locked in a small office for forty years of his life making sure that everything balanced.

Good afternoon, graduates. You are to be commended on your academic accomplishments. Another evacuation occurred. I will make this speech as brief and clear as possible and then open it up for questions. I will not be talking about the importance of saving, you already should know that. I will not be discussing any particular investment strategy, whether it be stocks, bonds, or real estate. I will be talking about the highly unusual times in which you are entering the work place.

Kenneth Davidson then spoke about the high unemployment, high inflation, and high interest rates that we were all facing in the early 1980s. He really new his topic. It was really more about how to adapt in these difficult financial times than anything. How construction was at a standstill nationwide, how inflation was chewing up everyone’s paycheck, how jobs were at a premium and what to do to make yourself more attractive to employers. He went on, These are undoubtedly the toughest times for any graduating college class since the Great Depression. Finally, he talked about Reno and Northern Nevada specifically. How as a gambling, entertainment, and tourism town we would be facing more challenges than most other areas. "Reno is not a state capital, will always be a distant second fiddle to Las Vegas, has little to no manufacturing, is a minor transportation hub and has no growing technology companies. Furthermore, many of the industries that have contributed to the economy of this area are now gone. Timber, mining, and some areas of agriculture are fast disappearing