1-3 Minute Monologues Volume A

By Pete Malicki

1-3 Minute Monologues Volume A is a book of completely new and original audition monologues. They are mostly suitable for everyone, no matter your age, gender, or cultural background, with a mix of comedy, drama, and subject matter.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Pete Malicki
• Release date: Jan 23, 2023
• ISBN: 9798215188057

Pete Malicki

Pete is the world’s leading monologue expert. His pieces have been performed well over 1,000 times internationally, including at Edinburgh Fringe and on the West End, and won more than 35 major awards. He is the founder of both The Monologue Project and global acting showcase World Monologue Games. He lives in Sydney Australia where he runs Undo Redo Entertainment and works as a career development coach for artists.

Book preview

Anticipation

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What would you expect me to think? I come home and he’s sitting in the armchair with a glass of his precious Hibiki Harmony thirtieth anniversary limited edition whiskey cupped in his hands. You know what he says about this? The greatest pleasure in my life is the anticipation of drinking this whiskey. He got that from some TV show or other and thought it was brilliantly clever. Repeated it at least twice a week.

So when I saw him drinking it – and I’ll add that it’s a five thousand dollar bottle – I could only assume the worst. The board have finally sacked him and he can’t bear to live with the indignity. Why else would he open his treasured whiskey? He didn’t drink it when we got married, when we had our daughter or when he became CEO, so either he’s about to top himself or he’s got stage four cancer and wants to go out happy.

I rush over and slap it out of his hands. I know, I know, it isn’t poison and there was no reason to do that, but I panicked and my reflexes took over.

What the hell are you doing you crazy bitch?!

"What are you doing, Malcolm?! I know there’s only one reason you’d be drinking that. You’re going to kill yourself!"

He composes himself instantly. Amazing that he could always do that. Walks past the six-hundred-dollar whiskey stain on the carpet, fetches a new glass from the cabinet, sits back down and pours himself another serving. There’s a thousand dollars swilling around in there. I’m celebrating two incredible things, he says. One: the deal finally came through and I’m now a majority shareholder. I just became a billionaire.

Wow.

Two: I’m leaving you. The house is yours but I’ll be gone tomorrow. Now fuck your wrinkled ass off out of my sight while I finish my Hibiki.

Takes out a glass and a bottle of whiskey.

Turns out he wasn’t a billionaire for very long.

Pours a glass and has a sip.

You know, the thirtieth anniversary edition is good... but this really hits the spot.

Has another sip.

It is a little more expensive... but it’s worth paying for the good stuff.

Cheers.

As good as a holiday

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It’s not OCD. I have very particular tastes, yes, and I like things done in a very specific way, yes, and any deviations from my preferences are like an itch on the inside of my brain which gets worse and worse and worse until I eventually get my preferences met, yes. But OCD makes me sound like a crazy person.

I’m trying this new thing with Ginny. Ginny, that’s my girlfriend. I’ve broken up with her a dozen times but she keeps