Jaxx and The Beanstalkers: Once After a Time

By G M Acorn

Once after a time...

Jaxx is just about to turn eighteen. Jaxx's thoughts tend to wander. Jaxx doesn't always pay a lot of attention to detail.

He's just a normal teenager with an unusual family history. Well, he thinks he's normal anyway. His friends kid him a lot about his famous great-grandfather. No one believes in the old stories about Grandpa Jack climbing a beanstalk and defeating a giant.

His parents finally think Jaxx is grown-up enough to run the farm his mother inherited from Grandpa Jack, her grandfather. He's hoping his new responsibilities will encourage his friends to give him more respect and forget about all that fairy-tale nonsense. Jaxx loved Grandpa Jack, but now that he's older, he realizes those stories were only make-believe to impress children and fools. Jaxx still feels a bit like an outsider in this beautiful British mountain valley. He's lived here for seven of his eighteen years. He's only half English, you see. His American half makes him a target for more joshing from his British pals. His accent and language amuse them, but it's all in good fun.

All things considered, Jaxx is content. Sometimes he wishes his life were more exciting, but he loves the farm. He works hard, stays fit, and gets to spend his free time in the village with his friends.

Jaxx's luck hasn't been too good lately. He's looking forward to his birthday celebration at the pub. Maybe his luck will change for the better once he turns eighteen. Probably not. Jaxx just isn't that lucky.

Dear reader, it's time to let you in on a secret. Jaxx doesn't know his luck is about to change...for the worse! He's about to be thrust into a world he couldn't even imagine. A world of magic, danger, and challenges. A world of impossibilities. A world he may never be able to escape.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Fulton Books, Inc.
• Release date: Apr 26, 2022
• ISBN: 9781638608004

Book preview

Contents

Prologue

Part I: Jaxx Comes of Age

Chapter 1: A Walk in the Moonlight

Chapter 2: You Have to Wake Up Sometime

Chapter 3: Agony and Ebony, then Perfect Harmony

Chapter 4: Tell Me I’m Still Dreaming

Chapter 5: Meanwhile, Back at the Farm

Chapter 6: Beans, Beans, the Musical Fruit

Part II: Is Your Head in the Clouds, Lad?

Chapter 7: Up, Up, and Away

Chapter 8: The King and I

Chapter 9: Oh No, Not Again

Chapter 10: Getting to Know You

Chapter 11: Caregone, Take Me Away

Chapter 12: All in Good Time

Chapter 13: Good Food? No Meat? Good Grief—Let’s Eat

Chapter 14: Time Keeps on Slipping, Slipping, Slipping

Chapter 15: Chow Ciao

Chapter 16: An Unappreciative Audience

Chapter 17: The Fix Is In

Chapter 18: Fall In, Fall Out

Part III: Castle in the Air

Chapter 19: Three Blind Mice

Chapter 20: Choose Wisely

Chapter 21: Friends in Need

Chapter 22: Friends in Deed

Chapter 23: Taking the Measure of a Man

Chapter 24: It’s Who You Know

Chapter 25: Sew, Sew, Sew Your Float Gently Down the Seam

Chapter 26: Raising the Bar

Chapter 27: Alley-Oops

Chapter 28: Starting to Gel

Chapter 29: Beginning to Boil

Chapter 30: The Proof Is in the Putting

Part IV: Down to Earth

Chapter 31: The Best-Laid Plans of Mice and Men

Chapter 32: It’s All Gone Awry

Chapter 33: Kingdom Come

Chapter 34: Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot

Chapter 35: See How They Run

Chapter 36: Too Many Cooks

Chapter 37: Gather Ye Rosebuds While Ye May

Chapter 38: To See What He Could See

Chapter 39: All That He Could See

Chapter 40: We Have a Situation Here

Chapter 41: Limited Options

Chapter 42: If It’s Too Hot, Get Out

Chapter 43: Crowd Control

Chapter 44: Joining the Fray

Chapter 45: Once More into the Breach

Chapter 46: All the King’s Men and an Elephant

Chapter 47: The Wild Blue Yonder

Chapter 48: The End Approaches

Chapter 49: Terra Firma

Chapter 50: Home Sweet Home

Chapter 51: The End (Really?)

Epilogue

Acknowledgments

Prologue

Jack reminisced with his granddaughter about his adventures in the days when he was young and strong. Jacklyn was visiting with her husband, Douglas, and their five-year-old son, Jaxx. Grandpa Jack confided in Jacklyn that he worried about his legacy now that he was old.

I’m getting on now, dear Jacklyn. Why, you’ve made me a proud great-grandfather to a lovely lad. Little Jaxx is the apple of my eye. But I worry about the farm, the village. Who shall carry on once I am gone? Certainly not Jackson, my lazy son. All he ever cared about was spending my money, trying to bribe the villagers to like him. He was embarrassed by me. Never believed my stories of the beanstalk and the giant were true. Thought I was bonkers, he did! Convinced the villagers I was too. Then he married that woman, Lilibeth. She was a piece of work—she was. Couldn’t stand the country life, nor life in a mountain village. Persuaded Jackson to cross the pond to live in New York. Your grandma Beryl and I were devastated when they took you to America, he said, his voice catching.

Oh, Grandpa Jack. Dad loves you. Why else would we have all come to visit every year? I will concede Mom never came. She likes pretending she came from royal British blood. She couldn’t get away with that here, where everyone knows her.

Do you truly believe my stories, Jacklyn? The truth now.

"Grandpa Jack, I believe in you. So does Douglas. Little Jaxx adores you. He loves your stories."

They’re not just stories, darling Jacklyn. Come, I’ll show you some proof.

Jacklyn followed Grandpa Jack to the barn. I’ll have to be back in an hour. Douglas and Jaxx will be back from their walk in the fields by then.

That gives us plenty of time. I have only a few things to show you. Then I must ask you an important question.

Grandpa Jack led Jacklyn through the barn to a large rusty metal box in a dark corner. He brushed aside straw to reveal a metal base somewhat larger than the box. He pressed a barely visible button, and the box popped open to reveal a staircase. Grandpa Jack took a nearby lantern from its peg, lit it, and descended first, motioning his granddaughter to follow. The subterranean room was filled with wooden crates. The wooden crates were filled with golden goose eggs!

"Your stories are true! I always loved them, and you, but Dad convinced me they were just fairy tales you used to entertain me. I’m so sorry, Grandpa."

Never you mind, darling. How could something so fantastic be true? But it is, and now you know. I have more to tell you.

Grandpa Jack reminded her of the stories she’d heard since she was little. He added that he had taken on the job of protecting the village from attack from above and told her of all that involved. After a slight hesitation, he asked her if she would consider carrying on his legacy. If she agreed, he would leave his farm and lands to her.

I need some time to think about it, Grandpa. And I’ll have to talk this over with Douglas, of course.

Very well. For now, it will remain our secret. There is more to tell, and there are those in the village who will help you.

He continued, I used to have a magical harp and the goose that laid these eggs, but someone stole them from me. That’s why I built this hideaway. Still, I have something even more valuable to give you. He reached into a cupboard and brought out a small intricately carved wooden box. This is the most valuable thing I ever owned. It contains my greatest treasure. He handed the box to Jacklyn. Just as she received the box, voices called from outside the barn. Hello! Are you in there? We’re back from our walk a bit early. Little Jaxx is hungry and wants his grandpa Jack and his mommy. Hello?

I’m sorry, darling girl, but we must keep this room a secret until you decide. Hurry back up. Quickly now! Grandpa Jack grabbed a golden banjo and followed Jacklyn up to the barn floor, returning the metal box and the surrounding straw to its previous state. He sat upon the box and began strumming the banjo.

There you are, my love, said Douglas, smiling. "Grandpa Jack! I didn’t know you played the banjo. I didn’t know you had a banjo!"

This old thing? I do like a lively tune now and again, I suppose. The banjo began to play. Little Jaxx clapped his hands and danced around. Finally, Grandpa Jack placed the banjo against a corner of the barn and declared, Let’s go eat. I’m famished.

No one seemed to notice the banjo played several notes after Grandpa Jack’s fingers left its strings.

Part 1

Jaxx Comes of Age

Chapter 1

A Walk in the Moonlight

Tiny hairs on Jaxx’s arms and neck vibrated as if warning him of imminent danger. He executed his best ninja jump, turning 180 degrees midair. He had every expectation of landing lightly on his feet in a crouched position, facing the threat behind him, whatever it was. Gingerly rising from the ground, groaning only mildly, Jaxx was relieved to find no one and nothing out of the ordinary. He was totally alone.

Aughhh… Phew… O-o-o-oh, moaned Jaxx. What happened? I could have sworn I was being followed.

Jaxx stood, brushed himself off, and surveyed the wide-open field on his family’s farm. He was surrounded only by weeds and grass and a few stray bean vines left over from his great-grandfather’s farming days. He felt silly. Still, the eerie feeling wouldn’t go away. The brawny young man shook his unruly auburn locks vigorously to clear his head. It made him even dizzier.

"It’s just late. I’m gonna go to the house and lie down awhile. Maybe I’m only tired. It is two o’clock in the morning, for goodness’ sake."

Jaxx was on his way home after celebrating his eighteenth birthday with his mates all last evening and a good part of the early morning, drinking beers and playing darts at the pub in the village. Jaxx lost most of the dart-throwing matches. He seemed to be a bit down on his luck lately. In the previous week alone, he had dropped a basket of fresh eggs, broken his best mucking rake, and tripped over a stone that had popped up in the garden. He had been hoping this significant birthday would usher him into manhood and change his luck at the same time.

He was happy none of the village lads decided to walk home with him. They already joked about him being the great-grandson of the (hahaha) giant slayer. He would never have lived down his reaction to an imaginary bogeyman.

Even though it was summertime, the nighttime air was a little nippy. That wasn’t uncommon in this valley surrounded by a mountain range. The full moon was bright enough overhead that Jaxx didn’t need a lantern to light the way. Now he kind of wished he had one. The wind rustled through the dry grass. Night insects buzzed and chirruped all around. Unseen small creatures skittered away as he drew close to them. Jaxx had to admit he was still spooked. It even seemed as if there were more random beanstalks whenever he glanced behind himself.

Jaxx decided to hurry.

Chapter 2

You Have to Wake Up Sometime

Jaxx slept fitfully. He recalled snatches of his nightmares. One of the more vivid snatches involved a loud, grumbling voice yelling threats while he was hopelessly trapped in something fuzzy and green that covered his whole body, even his head. In the dream, he was trying to yell for help, but whatever trapped him muffled his screams and pinned his arms to his sides. He was terrified and totally helpless. Jaxx woke on the floor beside his bed, thrashing wildly inside his wool blankets.

Calm down. Stop panicking. You’re awake now. It was only a nightmare, Jaxx told himself. You must have wrapped up like that because it was cold last night. No more late-night partying for you. You can’t handle it!

Just as Jaxx was beginning to gather his wits and untangle from his blankets, a loud moo, eh! erupted from just outside his bedroom window. Jaxx jumped as high and as far away from the window as he could with his feet still encumbered. He teetered left, then right, then left again, finally ending back on the floor in a heap of blankets. Luckily, the blankets cushioned Jaxx’s fall. Unluckily, the blankets no longer covered his head, so Jaxx suffered a huge lump on his noggin where it had connected with the nightstand next to his bed. To make matters worse, Jaxx had managed to break the old-fashioned oil lamp, knocking it and his treasured wooden box off the nightstand. The sweetly decorated box his mother had given him was still intact, but glass shards were all around him, glittering in the sunlight streaming through the openings in the wooden blinds.

Ouch! Ouch! Ouch, ouch, ouch! Jaxx exclaimed as he navigated barefoot through the sharp slivers. He almost forgot what made him jump in the first place. The blinds began to push inward. And inward. And finally, all the way in, clattering onto the floor in pieces. The window shattered, adding bigger knifelike shards to the increasing shambles surrounding Jaxx. Another louder mooo, eh! burst forth, this time inside the room, echoing off the walls and ceiling, assailing Jaxx’s ears. And Jaxx’s nose. The air smelled awful. Yuck! It smelled like… It smelled like…angry cow breath! Bessie!

Chapter 3

Agony and Ebony, then Perfect Harmony

Poor Bessie. Jaxx had slept so late. Way past Bessie’s usual milking time at 4:30 a.m. From the brightness flooding into his room, Jaxx figured it must be at least 9:00 a.m.

"Moooooooooooooo, eh!" Yep, Bessie was in agony and very, very angry.

I’m so sorry, Bessie. Give me a couple of minutes. I’ll meet you in the barn.

Attempting to ease her all the way outside, Jaxx pushed gently but firmly while he stroked Bessie’s head between her beautiful brown eyes. She gave a powerful bovine snort in protest as she reluctantly complied.

"Guck. Uck. Bluck." Jaxx used his blankets to wipe cow snot from his face as Bessie ambled haughtily toward the barn. Now he needed to wash his blankets, as well as sweep glass. It would all have to wait until he was finished with Bessie and his chores. Until then, he would remain a reeking mess.

Jaxx stripped off the underwear he wore for bedclothes last night, trying to avoid as much cow snot as possible. He used the last clean corner of his blanket to wipe some of the remaining slimy goo from his body. He choked back gags while he located his barn boots. With a bit of luck, the smell would soon subside.

Who am I kidding? questioned Jaxx. My luck has been all bad lately. He didn’t have time to get dressed properly, so he left off his underwear and pulled up his overalls, still choking back gags.

Jaxx ignored his sore, bleeding feet, and the drying gunk that seemed to be all over him, even in amazingly inaccessible places. Jaxx also ignored his surroundings, walking gingerly on tender bean plants, crushing them underfoot, reaching Bessie’s milking stall as quickly as he was able. Bessie stamped her hooves and uttered miserable cow moans. Jaxx looked in her big brown desperate eyes and felt guilty all over again.

Okay, Bessie, my love, Jaxx crooned. Let’s get started. No more sneezing, please.

Jaxx got down to the business of milking. Bessie became less fidgety every moment as he relieved the pressure on her poor udders. They settled into the familiar rhythm of pull, squirt, pull, squirt, pull, squirt.

Bessie was obviously feeling better. Jaxx’s thoughts drifted away from his familiar task and wandered around inside his brain. His half-conscious mind swirled with colors, emotions, and blurry images. Jaxx started to relax. Big mistake. Suddenly the images coalesced into one vision of a monstrous trap in shades of green, with a terrified Jaxx immobilized in its midst. It was his nightmare all over again. Jaxx must have tensed up and squeezed Bessie too hard. She let out a startled moo, eh, kicked over the stool Jaxx sat on, and bent her head around to snatch the almost-full milk pail. Bessie had a resentful look in her flashing eyes as she hurled the pail and its contents all over Jaxx.

Warm milk steamed off Jaxx in the cool air of the stall. The dried goo from his earlier encounter with Bessie reactivated into wet goo. The stench was even stronger than before. His poor head really hurt.

This time, Jaxx couldn’t hold back. He spewed until he felt like his stomach had turned inside out. The stench was now over the top, spectacular, epic. Jaxx collapsed awkwardly onto the ruined hay and passed out. Bessie huffed and beat hooves out of the barn into fresher air, leaving Jaxx to clean up yet another mess when he woke.

Outside the barn, Bessie took several deep breaths, hoping to get rid of that ridiculous human’s smell. As luck would have it (Bessie’s luck was certainly better than Jaxx’s), she caught a whiff of bullish magnificence. Bessie turned in the direction of the breeze. There he was! Ebony stood under the lone oak tree on top of the gently sloping hill. Even at this distance, Bessie could sense his powerful masculinity. And he was looking directly at her. Ebony was looking at Bessie! Oh my. If cows could blush, brown-and-white Hereford Bessie would be bright red. As it was, she batted her long lashes coquettishly and sashayed her way up through emerald grass dotted with yummy dandelions, lots of small bean sprouts, and several medium-sized bean vines to join her Belted Galloway dream of a boyfriend.

"Moo, eh," mooed Bessie sweetly when she reached the tree.

"Moo," replied Ebony in his rich baritone bull’s voice.

"Moo moo-moo-moo, moo moo moo, moomoo moomoo moo, harmonized the happy couple from the top of the hill to the tune of Old MacDonald Had a Farm." Cattle from farms for miles around paused in their cud-chewing to listen and smile their contented cow smiles.

Chapter 4

Tell Me I’m Still Dreaming

By the time Jaxx woke, it was much warmer in the barn. It must be after noon. The mixture of vomit-snot-milk-hay-dust had turned to cement all over him.

He pried one hand from the back of his overalls with a loud rip. He pried his other hand from the floorboards with a