I Will Be with You

By Laurie Curtis Larmon

At first glance, Ellie Brown appears to be a typical, rather awkward teenager from a stable lower-middle-class family living in a small town in Maine. But as the readers get to know Ellie better, they will find she is dealing with issues at home that are deeply affecting her. Her dad is a hardworking construction worker who dotes on Ellie; however, her mom harbors jealously toward Ellie because of her relationship with her dad. Her mom's emotional abuse takes its toll on Ellie's self-esteem. As a result, Ellie's attempts to prove her mom wrong about her and her efforts to find love in all the wrong places leads her to make progressively poor choices in friends and boyfriends. Through it all, Michael Miller, a Christian boy she has virtually grown up with, remains her steadfast supporter, though Ellie fails to recognize him as such. As Ellie's life choices plummet her lower and lower into dangerous situations, Michael watches from a distance and tries to protect her whenever he can or whenever she lets him.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: May 6, 2021
• ISBN: 9781098082819

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I Will Be with You

Laurie Curtis Larmon

Copyright © 2021 by Laurie Curtis Larmon

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;

And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.

When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned,

Nor shall the flame scorch you.

—Isaiah 43:2 (NKJV)

Chapter 1

1960

I hid the bean under the front edge of my plate. I looked over at Mommie, knowing how mad she’d be if she caught me. I hid another bean and looked up. Daddy was looking at me, but he didn’t say anything. He just winked at me.

You know, she really doesn’t like beans, he said.

I don’t care, Mommie said. She’s going to clean her plate.

Daddy finished eating. Well, I’m off, he said.

Can I go with you? I asked. I knew I’d be safe if I was with Daddy.

Not this time, sweet. I’ve got to go back to work. Why does he have to work all the time? He kissed Mommie on the cheek, put on his hat, took his keys out of his pocket, and went out the door.

Bye, Daddy! I said. Mommie smiled at him and said bye too.

By the time Mommie was finished with her own food, I had finished all my hot dogs and biscuits but had circled my plate with a string of the beans.

I’m all done! Can I get down now?

Mommie looked at me then looked at my plate. Her eyebrow went up. Go.

I got off my chair and went into the living room to play with my doll and carriage again. I still looked over my shoulder toward the kitchen, worried about what Mommie would do when she saw the beans.

Eleanor Edith Brown! What’s this? Mommie screeched.

I felt like I suddenly needed to use the bathroom. I thought about running and hiding, but where could I go? I thought about running out the door after Daddy, but he had already driven away. I knew no matter where I went, Mommie would find me. I wish Daddy was still here.

Mommie came into the living room and grabbed me by the arm. It really hurt. You’re a liar! she yelled. She hit me across the head, and I started to cry. Shut up! I should have known something was up! You’re a sneak and a liar! She hit me again and shook me by the arm.

I cried hard. No! I yelled. No! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!

You’re sorry, all right! Come on! I grabbed for anything that would save me. I got a hold of my floppy dog. She dragged me across the kitchen and into the entryway where the closet was. She opened the door. Get in there! And don’t come out until I tell you!

It was crowded inside the dark closet, and I tried to find a place to stand on all the boots. They stunk really bad. I pushed the jackets away. They smelled like last winter. I knew I would be in there for a long time, so I piled up some of the boots so I could sit on the floor. The dirt and sand from the dirty boots crunched under my feet. I sat down and hugged my floppy dog. My arm and my head hurt. Don’t cry, I told my floppy dog, petting his head. It’ll be okay.

*****

1968

The water undulated close to the dock, gently stirring the reflections of the trees hanging over the bank. A shallow fog lingered out over the lake, reaching vaporous fingers into the trees as it climbed up the other side. The rising sun, gaining strength, burned away the night’s chill as it rose over the ridge and painted the tops of a stand of birch, golden-green against the deep-blue sky. A ghostly loon’s call echoed from down the lake. Fourteen-year-old Ellie Brown caught the scent of a campfire’s first wisps hanging close to the water’s surface. Soon the aroma of brewing coffee and frying bacon would join the woodsmoke as more campers stirred to life. She pulled her sweater closer, hugging herself against the coolness as she stood drinking in the early morning Maine calm. She drew a deep breath and exhaled smoothly.

Suddenly heavy, quick steps on the wooden planks behind her accompanied by an Indian war whoop jolted her. "I-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi!" Before she could turn around, strong arms swept her wide over the water before setting her safely on the dock once again.

She stood where she was deposited, slightly hunched, feet apart, every muscle tense. Her breath caught in her throat so a scream couldn’t escape until the perceived danger had already passed. You jerk! She took a barnyard swing at Michael Miller’s arm that missed by a mile as he ducked away, laughing.

What? Just thought you might like an early morning swim to wake you up.

You’re such an idiot! She pulled the hem of her sweater down and smoothed her honey-brown hair back in place. When is he ever going to grow up? They were the same age, but he was such an immature clown.

Heart still pounding, she sucked in her cheeks to stifle a smile. She felt her face flush but wasn’t sure if it was from the sudden fright or the thrill of Michael picking her up and whirling her around. Admittedly, he was turning out to be quite good-looking as he got older—tall and ramrod straight with steel-blue eyes set off by a deep tan and hair bleached blond around the edges by the sun. She also had to admit he could be a lot of fun to hang out with, but she wasn’t about to reveal to him how she enjoyed this sort of behavior. He fed on attention.

Michael! Your breakfast is ready. Come get it before it gets cold, Michael’s mom, Marjorie, called from the door of their pickup camper.

Yes! Gotta go!

Ellie walked back toward her parents’ camper as he galloped off to his. She stopped by the firepit where her dad, Walter, attempted to poke the coals to life. Did he getcha? He smiled his crooked grin.

Her smile matched her dad’s. ’Bout gave me a heart attack. She sat down across from him and glanced over at the four Millers seated around their picnic table just as they bowed their heads to say grace.

You hungry? Your mother’s inside, cooking, he asked. She nodded. A small birch log he’d added brought a sputtering fire to life as the bark caught.

You and Rick didn’t want to go fishing this morning? she asked, watching sparks rise from the growing flame.

There wasn’t time. They have to get ready for church.

Oh, that’s right. She pressed her lips together, crossed her arms, and pushed a small rock around with the toe of her shoe. Why do they always have to go to church every Sunday? They’re supposed to be spending the weekend camping. It really puts a crimp in having something to do when they’re gone all Sunday morning.

It’s good for them. I’d go with them if I could talk your mother into going. Her mom, Ethel, didn’t want anything to do with God since she felt He let her older brother die in the war. You don’t want to go swimming until it warms up after lunch anyway.

"I hate them not being here because there’s nothing to do until they get back. It doesn’t do any good to go over to the rec hall. No one’s there yet. I don’t like listening to the jukebox by myself or playing pinball at all. Besides, I don’t have any money anyway." She tossed her hands in the air and screwed her mouth to the side.

You could fish off the dock.

No, I don’t feel like getting all slimy from fish. Besides, no one ever catches anything off the dock. She could come up with as many excuses as her dad could suggestions. Camping’s just not as much fun without Michael there.

You probably could go with Rick and Marjorie if you asked.

She considered it but then raised an eyebrow. No thanks. She wanted to hang around with Michael but not that much. She did the Sunday school thing in third grade when her friend Tracy asked her to go a few times. Sunday school was okay. The stories were interesting, but the service was so boring.

Despite her inflexible attitude, Ellie enjoyed her dad’s undivided attention. She didn’t think he’d said more than ten words to her since she was six years old unless he was mad about something. At camp, he was more talkative. He seemed more relaxed, more alive somehow, and in a lighter mood. As long as he wanted to talk to her, she was staying put.

Well, just sit there then, he said with a grin.

About that time, the smoke from the fire seemed to sense her presence and decided to come and sit on her lap. She got up and moved to another seat, but the smoke liked her too much to leave her alone. Her mom called through the camper window, It’s ready. Come get it before I throw it out. Ellie hopped inside and slid-bounced across the seat. Her little brother, Wayne, was already seated on the opposite side, and her dad swung in next to him. Wayne looked at her and stuck out his tongue. She returned the gesture. Her mom turned around at that moment and saw what Ellie did. Her eyebrow went up, and she gave her a scathing look. Ellie quickly dropped her face and stared at her lap. Why couldn’t her mom ever catch him doing something wrong to her?

The radio on the back edge of the table played If I Could Talk to the Animals. Her mom’s favorite station played pop and show tunes. Ellie inwardly cringed but would put up with it long enough to eat breakfast. Bacon, eggs, and toast were already served on plastic plates in front of the three of them. Breakfast always