Just Me

By KiKi Chatman

Just Me takes you on the journey of a fatherless daughter and a motherless child. Thirteen-year-old Reyna Lexington's life is turned upside down when she finds her mother in a relationship with a man named Blue. Once Reyna and Blue's worlds collide, everything spirals out of control. With nowhere to turn and not knowing who to trust, Reyna finds herself in a bind she cannot get herself out of. As her biggest secret unfolds right before her eyes, she is forced to face the music, a song she never even chose to sing. How will Reyna get out of it? Will she find someone to help save her in time? Will she save herself? Find out how it all started in the 1990s with Just Me.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Page Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Mar 15, 2020
• ISBN: 9781645441526

Book preview

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Just Me

KiKi Chatman

Table of Contents

Girl, I Think He Like You!

Child, a Hard Head Makes a Soft Ass!

I Had Never Felt Those Before!

I’ll Be Alright Today

My Girl Had My Back

Reyna

Let’s Do It…

DAMN!

I Suggest You Bounce, Trick!

OH MY GOSH! I’M NOT TRIPPIN’

Just Me, You, Ms. Turner, and GOD

Don’t Touch Me!

In My Own Puddle of Tears

Lord, Please Make It Stop!

You Should Have Made A Different Decision!

Because

No Get Backs!

What Am I Gonna Do Now?

Whew! What a Night!

We Were All We Needed

Blue

I Don’t Even Think She Blinked

Mama

Anywhere, But Here

Copyright © 2019 KiKi Chatman

All rights reserved

First Edition

PAGE PUBLISHING, INC.

Conneaut Lake, PA

First originally published by Page Publishing 2019

This is a fictional novel written by KiKi Chatman. It’s about a young thirteen-year-old girl who became impregnated by her mother’s boyfriend and kept the pregnancy a secret. It tells the tale of the long line of events that happened when her secret was no longer a secret.

ISBN 978-1-64544-151-9 (pbk)

ISBN 978-1-64544-152-6 (digital)

Printed in the United States of America

Acknowledgements 

This book is dedicated to my #1 Lady Love—My Mommy, Ms. Cynthia Rene Parker (1957-2015). Thank you for believing in me, fussing at me and staying on top of me about my writing. I hope I am making you proud. Rest peacefully, My Queen.

To My Daddy—Raymond Chatman Jr., and My Siblings: Tamara, Raymond, Jessica, Xavier & Raychel. Thank you for invigorating me! Yaw have sponsored, uplifted & resurrected me each in your very own way. I literally could not have done any of this without you.

Kamarre, Keirron & Kailynn—Yo Mama finally did it! And I did it for you. Now you can see that dreams really do come true! And, so do Happy Beginnings and Happy Endings! I am living proof that nothing is unconquerable. Nothing is impossible.

Last, but not least: Robert Bass Edwa II. Thank you for being my rock & my strength. You literally have dragged my behind to the finish line. I love you, My King.

To my remaining family, friends and followers, I wholeheartedly send my sincerest gratitude to each and every one of you. Your support, accountability, and prayers are what saw me through. I am honored to have#TEAMKIKI! I just want to say, Thank you for loving me! I love yaw too!"

Until next time. Namaste.

Introduction

So I’m in class, staring through the window, wishing I could be anywhere but here. I wonder what my daddy is doing. I tried to call him a bunch of times last week, but he never answered. Wassup with that? I wish I lived with him. I bet you daddy would have time for me, not like Mama. She always at work.

Den she don’t do nothing but come home, fuss, and sleep. Sometimes she don’t even act like she my mama. Sometimes my mama acts like a total stranger. She don’t even pay attention to her stupid boyfriend and I wish she would. Then he wouldn’t always be on top of me. He always says he loves me, but no he don’t. Cause if he did, he wouldn’t always make me do stuff I didn’t wanna do. Sometimes, I hate him so much. He always be talking ’bout how my mama don’t love me or him cause if she did, she wouldn’t work all the time and leave us by ourselves. That’s the only thing I could agree with him about. But I don’t like it when he be tryna down my daddy. That’s when I feel like I gotta say something. Ain’t nobody gone be talking ’bout my daddy like that. Shit, his ass ain’t no good. He don’t even have a job. He just drives around in my mama’s car all day and eat up all the food. At least my daddy got a job, at least he worth something, and that’s exactly what I tell him too. But last time, me and Blue got into it. He slap me in my face and told me I bet not ever talk back to him. Then he pulled me by my ponytail, swung me into the wall, and snatch me on the throat. I was crying and screaming and I was tryna hit him back but he just squeezed me harder until I couldn’t breathe. I tried to take his hands off but he was too strong.

He put his face on mine and kept shouting, You love that muthafucka more than you love me? Huh? You love him more than me?!

I tried to shake my head but he still had my neck so I couldn’t move. I thought he was gon’ kill me that day.

He don’t love you! He don’t care! Cause if he did, then he would be here instead of me! Then he dropped me and I fell to my knees.

I couldn’t even find my breath to catch it. Then he looked down on me like he was sorry. He was sorry all right. He picked me up and wrapped his arms around me. I tried to push away from him, but he was too strong. The first breathe I got, I used it to let out a cry. It was big to me, but it was still barely there. All I had was tears. Even after it was over, it still felt like he was choking me. My throat hurt me like it had never hurt before. He got on his knees and kept tryna say how sorry he was. He said he didn’t mean it, but it felt like he meant it. He wrapped his arms around my waist and started crying and telling me he was sorry over and over again. That was the first time I seen him cry before. I didn’t care. He hurt my feelings by saying all that stuff about my daddy and then hittin’ on me the way he just did.

I didn’t look at him in his face though cause part of me almost felt sorry for him like I had actually did something to him. He started to unbuckle my belt. I wanted to tell him to stop, but I thought he would hurt me again. He started kissing my stomach and pulling down my jeans at the same time. Then he lay me down and started kissing me on my neck and titties. I didn’t like that. I didn’t like any of it. Plus, I always smelled like his spit. I just closed my eyes and waited for it to be over. Then he stopped. I opened my eyes and looked down at him. My panties were at my knees when he stood up. He looked at me like I was nasty.

You need to get up and go clean yourself up. Then he walked away.

I wondered why he looked at me the way he did and he didn’t put himself in me like he usually do. I was just lying on the living-room floor with my panties halfway down. Then I looked down. I had never been so happy to see my period.

Chapter 1

Girl, I Think He Like You!

The bell rang, interrupting my train of thought. I put my books in my backpack and headed for the door. It wasn’t until I was leaving out the classroom that my English teacher, Mr. Baldwin, reminded us about our oral expressions that were due on Friday.

Shoot, I said to myself. I hadn’t even started mine yet. I wasn’t even sure if I had anything to express. I walked through the hallway over to my locker. I had to get my gym clothes. I had washed them the night before because they were starting to stink up my locker over the weekend. My best friend Reese met me at my locker so we could head over to gym together.

Wassup, Chick, she said in her high-pitched voice. I swear, sometimes she sounded like one of the Chipettes from Alvin and the Chipmunks. Reese was an inch or two shorter than me. She was brown skin with freckles and thick black hair that came a little over her shoulders.

Nothing. You? I said back.

I gotta babysit my sister’s kids tonight. Man, they hella bad. I don’t even feel like watchin’ her little demon seeds. Man and my mama just gone tell Tresa I could do it. I’m like, yaw cudda at least asked me first and Tresa going on about how she used to have to take care of me and I’m like so what I didn’t ask her to!

Reese will go on and on about her family. She had an older brother and sister. She said they always use her but I’m like, at least she got them. I always tell her that at least her mama pay attention to her and love her and see her all the time. I stress to her how I’m always by myself with no brother, no sister, and barely a Mama. But when it comes to Reese and me, it’s always a constant argument that nobody ever wins because she don’t see my point and I sho ’nuff don’t see hers. So now, I just tune her out cause most days I just don’t feel like hearing her mouth.

Reese talked us all the way to gym, all the way through dressing, and all the way though warm-ups. We were just about to start our laps around the track when this stupid boy named Leonard ran past us and slapped my butt.

You stupid! I yelled. Don’t be putting your hands on me like dat! Boy, wass wrong whichu?!

Awe, come on Reyna. You don’t have to act like that. He laughed. You know you like it! He took off running.

You better be keeping your hands to yourself, you maggot, I yelled behind him. He was long gone around that field. I just glared at him.

Then leave it up to Reese. Girl, I think he like you! She was so excited, you would think it was her own self she was talking about.

Well, I don’t like him! I snapped at her. She just got quiet. I guess I’d hurt her feelings, but I didn’t care. I was not feeling nobody’s Leonard like that. Just because Reese and everybody else was all lah-lah over him, didn’t mean I had to be. I mean he was cute but not cute enough for me to be drooling over him.

Sixth period was history class. Unfortunately, Leonard Johnson had the same sixth period class as me. Lately, I had been noticing how whenever I sat in the front of the classroom, so did he. If I sat in the back, there he was. It was like I could never shake him. Ms. Lu seemed like she was just totally clueless to the entire world. If a dog came in and sat at one of our desks, she would probably think it was a kid, ask it a question, and wait a century ’til the dog actually answered. Her accent was so strong I don’t think anybody could understand her.

Once the bell rang, it was a wrap. We were all stampeding out of Crowley Junior High like cattle. Kids were scattering everywhere. I was looking for Reese in the middle of all the commotion, but I couldn’t find her. I felt a tap on my backpack only to find who I was looking for.

Hey, girl. Even though I gotta babysit tonight, my mama said it was okay for you to come over and help me with my niece and nephew. I mean, Tresa can take you home when she get back.

I don’t know, Reese. I gotta call my mama and ask her first.

As we were talking, Blue pulled up in my mom’s white-and-gold Camry. It had gold rims with black-tinted windows. The music was bumpin’ with R. Kelly’s 12 Play. I just shook my head. I couldn’t help but think how that dumbass stayed doing too much like all the time. I headed for the car.

Reese, I’m gone call you as soon as I get home.

Okay, but don’t forget. She went her way and I went mine.

Right before I could reach the sidewalk, Leonard grabbed my hand and pulled me toward him. I yanked away from him and as I gave him one of those "fool-you-den-lost-yo’-damn-mind looks with a neck roll to go with it. I think if I had rolled my neck any harder at him, my head would’ve tumbled right off into the street.

Here, that’s all he said to me. He put a folded piece of paper in my hand and turned around running for his bus. I unfolded it and read it.

Reyna,

I really am feelin’ you. I think you’re pretty. You always be actin’ like you don’t like me but I know you do. Call me so we can talk about how you can be my girl. 415.883.4396

I didn’t know what to say. I felt my face turn red a little bit. Nobody ever really called me pretty before. I mean yeah, Blue did, but he didn’t count because he was gross. But no real boy had ever really just came out and told me I was pretty before. My mouth was open for 2.5 seconds. Then I almost smiled but got interrupted during my train of thought.

HOOOONNK! HOOOONNK!

I glared my most evil glare. It was Blue standing halfway out the car door. Come on! It’s hot, and I ain’t got all day!

I just mumbled as I was getting in the car. It’s not like you got a job to go to, shit. I slammed the door once I was all the way in.

"What you