You Must Remember This...

By John Harwood

When obstacles prevent you from moving forward in your life, do you give up or find a way around those obstacles? That is what Kacey begins to discover with the help of a grandfather that she loves. A man who had to overcome an emotionally abusive father, bullying at school, social and emotional isolation, and a failed marriage. How a chance meeting in a motion and music class for children changed his life but created more obstacles that were in the way of achieving the one thing he has always wanted, to be happy and to be loved. As Kacey reads her grandfather's notebook, she begins to learn who should decide how she lives, how to go around obstacles to achieve her goals, and decide if they are the goals she really wants.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Page Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Mar 14, 2019
• ISBN: 9781643502991

Book preview

Chapter

1

My Inspiration

My name is Kacy Stone. I am twenty-three, single, and not looking for Mr. Right. If I ever were to settle down with a man, he would have to be like the man I am on my way to visit, my grampa.

I haven’t seen him since my graduation from Juilliard two months ago. I received a call from my mom telling me that Grampa had a mild heart attack. He was admitted to the hospital last night. She seemed to think that he was out of immediate danger, but he was asking for me. I should come to see him as soon as possible.

You see, when I was a little girl, Grampa and I were inseparable. He would take care of me when my parents were working. He would spend time with me, play kitchen with me, take me for walks, took me places, and generally made me feel that I was the center of the world. I loved him so very much!

I am dreading this visit. My memories of Grampa are one of a man who loved his family, enjoyed going to plays and concerts and working in his garden. His favorite thing to do was to take me to Boston to watch his beloved Red Sox play at Fenway. Didn’t much like watching it on television. Grampa would say that "baseball was much more enjoyable when you are actually in the stands. It was like the difference watching Macbeth on television or seeing it live on stage." He would buy all the food Mom told him I should not have and showed me how to use a score card. Once in high school I was able to catch a fly ball and have it autographed!

Grampa loved the performing arts. He loved classical music. Gramps would take me to Boston to hear the Boston Symphony Orchestra and an evening with Mozart. Every year we would see the Boston Ballet Production Company do Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker.

His love of history and the stories he told about historical events and little tidbit of trivia made the past come alive for me. He loved to ask people if they knew who the inventor of the handkerchief was? Everyone knows it was Richard II who invented the handkerchief. No one but Gramps really cares about the invention of the handkerchief!

He was overjoyed that I was going to be in the Hyatt Young Artist Award competition. Young musicians from across the country would compete to win scholarships, a chance to play with the Boston Symphony Orchestra, and $10,000. I had to spend most of my time since graduation in preparation first for the state, then regional awards competitions. Thank goodness the competition committee provides a grant for living expenses so we could concentrate on preparation. Now, I have only a two weeks to prepare for the semifinals in Boston. At this time, however, I was more concerned about my grampa.

Grampa is my inspiration! This is a man who, at ninety, still mowed his own lawn, with a push mower! He introduced me to the world of music and art, of the love of learning and tolerance of others. He gave me the world. For all those gifts that he gave me, I love him so very much.

Wanted to try to cheer him up, so I brought him his two favorite things, a new book The Art of Believing Your Own Lies and Donald Trump and a chocolate chip cannoli. Had to hide the cannoli from the nurses, for it wasn’t good for him, but at ninety he has earned the right to have his favorite treat once in a while. I owed him because, when I was a kid, if I was being punished in time out or grounded for some reason, he would smuggle food, toys, anything he thought would cheer me up. Once, he gave me his cell phone to use when I was grounded for a month and my phone was taken away. It is about time I repay him for all that he has done for me.

My apartment was only a short drive from the hospital, only a ten-minute drive. Entering his room, I was surprised and pleased that the room that the hospital assigned him was bright with a row of windows facing out so that you could see the State House. For a hospital room, it was kind of cheery, with enough chairs for all his visitors to be able to sit down, and he had plenty of visitors. The chairs did look like typical institutional furniture. Grampa himself was in bed with the head of the bed raised up. He looked very different than normal. Instead of being tall and straight, he now seemed small. He was much thinner than he was normally, very little color in his face. He now looked like a very old man. It was kind of shocking to see him in such a state. Always with a smile for me each time we would meet. He, even at ninety, was very active. He did still try to make at least one Sox game. He still went to the symphony when it was in town and tried to attend some of live-stage performances at local theaters. When I came home from Juilliard, he would ask me to play As Time Goes By. It was from his favorite movie from the 1940s. I don’t remember the name of the movie, but he loved the movie. Now, he looked like a shell of the grandfather I love.

I looked around the room. On his nightstand near his bed, there was what looked like a large notebook, or scrapbook. There was also a cup of water with a straw in it. Mom was sitting next to his bed holding Grampa’s hand. Although she was only a daughter-in-law, she was also very close to Grampa. He looked upon her as more of a daughter. Dad was sitting in a far corner almost out of sight. He loved Grampa, but he and Grampa have not spoken in twenty years. I was surprised to see him here. Grampa must be sicker than I thought. They had been there for hours and looked as if they could use a break. I told them to go get something to eat. I would stay with Grampa for a while.

There still seemed to be another person in the room. I looked around, then I heard a very familiar voice, Hi, Kacey, congratulations on your selection for the Hyatt Awards. We all knew you could do it. It was Grampa’s oldest and dearest friend, Annie. At sixty-two, she was still a very attractive woman, brown hair down to her shoulders, blue eyes, about five feet six inches tall, and a body that some twenty-year-olds wished they had. Annie was very important in Grampa’s life. He loved her as if she were his daughter and was always asking her advice. He trusted her implicitly.

Giving her a hug, I said, Hi, Annie. How long have you been here?

I came here as soon as your mom called me. He has been asking for you since he was admitted. He will be a little happier now that you have arrived. I will join your mom and dad so you can have some time alone with him. She gave another hug, turned, and left the room.

Walked over to Grampa’s bed, thinking he was asleep, I gave him a kiss on his forehead, saying, I love you, Grampa. Just then his eyes opened, and with a whisper, he said, I love you, Kacey. I was hoping you get your parents to leave. I wanted to talk to you alone. They would just get in the way.

Sure, Grampa, but first how do you feel? I was worried that I had lost you.

Lost me? I am not going anywhere. I couldn’t if I wanted to, with all these wires and tubes. Where did you think I was going?

From what Mom said, you had a heart attack and were in the hospital. Then I saw Dad here so I thought that—

That I was dying! No! I am not going to die. After ninety years, a little heart attack isn’t going kill me. Heck, I couldn’t even kill myself!

That is not funny! If you had succeeded, I would have never known you and you would never have had the great opportunity to spoil me rotten.

That is true, but it would have saved a lot of fussing.

Stop that, this instant! I won’t hear it. If you continue, I will leave.

Oh, don’t do that. You know I am only joking. Besides the best medicine I could have is a visit from you, princess.

Okay, I will stay only if you promise not to talk that way.

Promise!

Anyway, I brought you your favorite treat!

His eyes widened and he had a big smile on his face. You are an angel. Haven’t had a cannoli in eons! One problem, how can I eat it? Can’t move my arms, too many tubes.

Well, I guess since you fed me a few times, I will return the favor! What did you want to talk about anyway? I said, cutting a piece of the cannoli.

Taking the piece of the cannoli, I put it in his mouth. He pointed to the nightstand. After he swallowed, he asked me to get the notebook and bring it over to him. Take a seat. You actually might enjoy seeing what I have here. This is a book of memories that I have tried to put together. Your mom and dad gave it to me as a present for Chanukah twenty years ago when you were still a baby.

As I was putting another piece of the cannoli in his mouth, Grampa motioned to me to move closer so I could see what the book contained. It seemed to be a record of family history, accounts of events that occurred in his life, and lots of pictures. So many that the book would not close. I didn’t think anyone even had photographs any more, but Grampa always preferred old technology, called himself a modern-day Luddite,¹ whatever that means? He removed a number of them and started to go through the collection, then he stopped, picked up one, and showed me a photograph.

Do you remember this? How about this one?

One of the pictures was of a little girl of about one, who had her finger in her nose. The other was of the same little girl about three, who has fallen in the toilet. You kept those—you told me you would throw them out! I lost a boyfriend after you showed him those pictures. He used it to make me the butt of stupid jokes and would tease me about every time I saw him. So I dumped him.

Why do you think I showed him the pictures anyway? The kid was a bum and a jerk, so I wanted you to see what this guy was in the hope that you lose him. It worked!

What business was it of yours who I dated anyway?

I am your grandfather, so it was my business. There is an unwritten rule that states that grandfathers who see their favorite granddaughter going out with a Neanderthal and a schmuck, it is their responsibility to draw the girl’s attention to that fact so she would lose him. Besides, you would have figured it out sooner or later anyway. I just hurried the process along a little bit.

Well, I am a big girl now, so you can lose those pictures. I am only your favorite granddaughter because I am the only one you have.

Nah, I think I want to keep them any way in case you get serious about some Yankee fan. They would be great pictures to show to any children you may have down the road.

Very far down the road. I will be too busy over the next year, so there will be little time for romance or children.

I know, princess. Have I told you how proud of you I am? No one in our family have been able to achieve anything like this. I know you will win, unless the judges are Yankee fans and have it in for anyone from Red Sox nation.

Yes, you have, only about a hundred times. Remember I will be competing against three other musicians. They are all talented and are superb musicians.

And you are one of those superb musicians. You are the best of them. Like I have told your mom, you are perfect.

I know, Grampa, but I think you are a little bias, don’t you think?

No, I am perfectly unbiased in this, just ask anyone.

Yes, Grampa, I will.

Anyone who tells you that no one is perfect, I bet, has no grandchildren.

As he went through each picture, some brought back some good times, and then there were others that brought back some very bad memories. Especially pictures of Grandma. I think he still felt a deep sadness for the way the marriage ended and still in his own way loved her.

Then there was a picture of Ali. Grampa and Ali were married twenty years ago. I liked Ali, but my dad didn’t. I’m not certain why. I think it has to do with the age difference. When they married, Grampa was seventy years old and Ali was thirty-six. Asked him once why he married a woman that was thirty-four years younger. His answer was very simple. He married Ali because I loved her so much and she is my best friend.

As we looked through the pictures, Ali was the subject of a great many of the photos. Only pictures of me were more prevalent, of course!

Grampa, you have told me a number of times that you met Ali because of me. But I haven’t figured out how I could have done that. I was only two or three years old?

Do you remember the music and movement classes that I took you to when you were little?

Yeah! I do, with Ms. Hannah and Ms. Jamie. They would give you a chair so you didn’t have to sit on the floor. You even got up and marched around the room with me once in a while. I do remember Haley was there.

How do you think Haley got there?

Ali brought her. Because you took me to Ms. Hannah’s class, you met Ali!

Yup, that’s right. I have always been meaning to thank you. Meeting Ali was the best thing that has ever happened to me—

You told me that I was the best thing that has happen to you. Did you fib to me, just to make me feel good?

Not at all. When you were born I thought you were a miracle. You were an angel. I was happier than I have ever been. I loved you the minute I first saw you, love at first sight. You were beautiful and still are and always will be that angel to me, a perfect angel, no fibs.

Okay, Grampa, you wiggled out of that pretty easily.

Do you remember that I would bring you to the bookstore? We would look at books, but ended up looking at the toys.

I remember the rule was that if I asked for something, I wouldn’t get it, but you always bought me something and I would be happy. Then we would go to the cafe and have a snack.

"That’s right! That is where Ali and I started to talk. First couple of times, it would be an unplanned meeting, then eventually we would go, and Haley and her mom would come along.

With that, Grampa just changed the subject. So, kiddo, what are your travel plans? When do you leave for Boston? I will miss you, but it will be a great experience for you. I hope you not only work hard, but also have some fun, but be careful of those sophisticated, good-looking, and rich young men you will meet. They will see this beautiful, tall blond with gorgeous blue eyes and great legs and—

What are you doing looking at my legs anyway? Are they really that nice? Never mind, don’t answer that! Maybe you should come along and chaperon to keep those sophisticated, handsome, rich young men creatures away! Stop—I don’t need a chaperon. It would be interesting to meet one of those creatures after all!

Maybe I should after that comment, just to keep you focused and those men away from you, princess. They are not really good enough for you anyway. It might be a little difficult at this time. Can’t go anywhere hooked up to all these machines!

Laying his head down, he looked so tired. Sweetheart, the book of memories is for you. It will be helpful to remember me while you are away. Oh! One more thing I will ask you to do. Could you go by my house and get my journals? They are in three boxes in the back room. The one I am working on is on my desk in the study.

Sure will, but as far as forgetting you, I will never forget you, Grampa, never!

Now, beautiful, I’m going to say goodbye. I am very tired and I need to sleep. I love you very much, Kacey. He closed his eyes and went to sleep.

I bent down and gave him a kiss on his forehead and whispered in his ear, I love you too, Grampa . . . Sleep tight and don’t let the bedbugs bite.

Leaving his room to look for Mom and Dad, a nurse walked over and said that my parents and the doctor wanted to talk with me before I left. She directed me toward a little room with some comfortable chairs and a sofa, a couple of end tables and a coffee table in the middle of the room. In the corner on one of the end tables was a machine to make coffee or tea and all the necessary accessories. On the coffee table, three plates were filled with different food items.

Mom and Dad were talking to a young man in green scrubs. He was tall, about six feet, thin but not too thin, brown hair and bright brown eyes and was the cutest man I have ever seen. Mom introduced him as Dr. Ben Wilson. He was the chief resident and he was caring for Grampa.

When Mom introduced me to him, he just stopped and stared. He couldn’t say anything. He just stammered and kept staring at me. Then I made a serious mistake. Instead of saying hi, I said, Do all the chief residents have language difficulty or is it just you? I meant it as a joke, but my parents were aghast at the comment. Dr. Wilson seemed to be put off a little. When will I ever learn to keep my mouth shut!

The doctor did recover his voice after my stupid remark. No, just me. It is not often that I see a woman in the hospital with sweats and flip-flops. You should be careful not to trip. Don’t want to have to look after you too! Oh, I wouldn’t. You are one of the VIPs who get the doctors who do not have a language disability! I kind of blushed and realized that this was not a way to impress a handsome doctor with no wedding ring.

As I was telling your parents, Mr. Stone will be okay. He will need a lot of rest. We will be keeping him here for a few days to stabilize his vital signs and to give him some tests. He is a pretty strong man. Most men his age would not have fared so well. Luckily, his daughter was home and was able to call emergency services. His wife was here earlier. She signed all the paperwork, told me to make sure that I keep you informed of his progress. I have also prescribed a wheelchair for Mr. Stone. He is too weak to walk without assistance. One more thing.

He was looking at me. I kept thinking, Uh-oh, this will not be pretty. Your grandfather has been talking about you, Ms. Stone, ever since he was admitted. He told me just about everything about you except one thing . . .

Oh, and what was that?

That you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. That is why I couldn’t talk. I have to go. There is a patient coming in for a follow-up, take care.

I just stood there. Now I couldn’t talk. My parents were laughing. My dad asked, Is that how you meet men, you insult them? I guess I won’t have to worry about you going on dates anymore.

Ha! Ha! That is not funny, and no, it is not the way I pick up men— Oops! Wrong choice of words.

You pick up men! Dad seemed to be a little upset that his baby was talking about picking up men. As always, Mom came to my rescue. Morry, that is not what she meant. It was just a bad choice of words. She meant that insulting a man is not the way she meets boys.

Mom is right, Daddy! I would never pick up men. Please forgive me for the expression. I would never do anything that you would not approve of. I love you, Daddy. I gave him a kiss on the cheek then looked at him and fluttered my eye lashes a little, hugged him, and put my head on his shoulder.

Well, okay, I was just a little worried, especially since you will be in Boston for a couple of weeks. No picking up anyone, promise!

Of course, Daddy, I do promise. As I looked at Mom, she was just rolling her eyes and trying to keep a straight face.

She knows that I have both Dad and Grampa wrapped around my finger, and they almost always given in to me. Especially, when I give them that little girl look—they just melt. But I do love them both and would never do anything to hurt either of them.

Just then Dad looked toward the elevator as the door opened. There was a tall woman, with long brown hair that reached to just below her shoulders. She had a gorgeous face with blue eyes, a beautiful body, even though she was fifty-six years old. She was wearing a dark blue suit, and it seemed as if she had just come to the hospital from work. Dad said it was time to go.

I have never understood why Dad was so angry at this woman, who seemed to make Grampa happy. My response was a simple no. I am going in to see Grampa and say good night and talk to Ali. You can go if you like. Mom walked in with me. We both gave Ali a hug and asked how she was. Mom was not a participant of the feud. She liked Ali, thought she was good for Grampa.

After talking to Ali for a minute, I went over to Grampa, kissed him on the forehead, and said our usual Love you, Grampa! and his reply, I love you too, Kacey. See you tomorrow?

Of course you can’t get rid of me that easily. Good night, don’t let the bed bugs bite! I gave him another kiss on the forehead then left so Ali could visit with him alone. You could tell that Ali and Grampa loved each other, that the age difference didn’t seem to interfere with how they felt toward each other.

I just don’t understand why Dad and Grampa have not spoken to each other for twenty years. Maybe his little book of memories will have an answer.

---

¹ Worker in early nineteenth-century England who destroyed machines that they thought were taking their job. A person opposed to increased industrialization or technology.

Chapter

2

Dear Princess

As I was driving back to my apartment, I just couldn’t picture a world without Grampa. He was always there for me. If I had a problem, Grampa would listen and would keep whatever was said completely private. If I went to him for advice, he would be honest with me, but never told me what to do. He believed that I could make the best choices on my own. If I was upset, Grampa would comfort me and would do some stupid thing to make me laugh, which usually worked. I depended on him and needed him, and I do not want to let him go.

Arriving at my apartment, I didn’t know quite what to do. Should I cry? Should I call someone? Should I continue packing as if nothing has happened? The doctor said he will be okay now and he needed rest, so I wasn’t going to lose him, but now he must use a wheelchair. He was ninety and as much as I would like him to be immortal, he isn’t. Although I saw him as this perfect grandfather who could do no wrong, he is still only human. Someday, I will lose him. I just don’t want to lose him now. I want to keep him a little longer.

I walked over to my old upright piano, sat down, and played his favorite song As Time Goes By. He taught me that when I was beginning my piano lessons. He knew I also wanted to sing. The song combined the two. Every time I hear it or play the song, I think of Grampa.

I sat down on the only chair not covered with clothes, papers, junk, old magazines, empty cookie boxes, a dirty pizza pan, and an assortment of other items, odds and ends. I looked over and saw the book of memories that Grampa gave me. I went over and picked it up, but could not open the book. I just stared at it for what seemed an eternity, but actually, it was only thirty seconds. Carefully, I opened the book to the very first page, and inside was an envelope. On the front of the envelope, Grampa wrote my name. I carefully opened the envelope and took out a handwritten note from Grampa to me. Unfolding the letter that was addressed to me, I began to read:

Dear Princess,

If you are reading this letter, I can only assume that you have spoken to the doctor.

You know that I will be coming home soon, in a wheelchair, but home. No need to worry. You can’t get rid of me that easy. I plan to be there in Boston. I will not miss my granddaughter’s performance. But sweet pea, I am ninety. I have lived a very long time. I will not live forever. Thou know’t ’tis common; all that lives must die, Passing through nature to eternity (Hamlet act 1, scene 2, line 73).

Did you like Dr. Wilson? He is a nice young man and a great doctor. I have told him all about you, even some of the stories about you I love to tell. I showed him your picture. He was unable to speak. I think he fell in love with your photo, just like Dana Andrews in the movie. Be nice to him. He is a good prospect, may want to draft him for the team. You are probably saying who is Dana Andrews and what movie? He was an actor from the 1930s and ’40s. The movie was Laura. The actress who played Laura was Gene Tierney, who was gorgeous. Your grampa once had a crush on her!

I know you pretty well. I suspect that you are thinking that you should cancel your trip and stay home to help me and your parents. Please do not do that! You have worked hard to obtain your goal. It would almost be criminal to abandon your dream. Your mom and dad would understand and would agree with me that you cannot put your life on hold. You have a great talent. It would be a terrible thing to see you put it aside just to take care of an old man. That talent must be shared with the world. That is why the gift was given to you in the first place.

I have watched you grow from a tiny little infant to an intelligent, vibrant, talented, beautiful young woman. I had wished that you could have stayed small a little longer. That would have been selfish. I am glad you didn’t. You have so much to offer the world. It would be wrong, if for one reason or another, you drop out. You can’t quit now.

I will always be with you in your heart and in your thoughts. You can’t get rid of me that fast. You have been the joy of my life. I love you with all my heart, which would be broken if you do not continue your journey. You promised to go to the competition and do your very best for me. If you stay home, you will break your promise to me and I will be very upset! I will have to put you in time-out. Well, maybe I won’t be able to do that, but imagine being in time-out if you don’t go.

While you are on your way to wherever life brings you, do not forget that you are human and humans make mistakes once in a while. I know because I have made some big mistakes. Forgive yourself for not being perfect, then start again, learning from that mistake. On the same theme of being human, remember humans need more than just study or work. You need friends. You need another who will share your life with you and love you above all things. Remember, one very important thing when it comes to loving others. You must love yourself before you can truly love another. Love comes from within you. If you do not love yourself, you cannot truly love another.

This does not mean that you must give up doing the things you love. It means sharing that love with another. When you find that person, do not let others discourage you, do not let others tell you what is best for you, do not let society prevent you from being happy. Be wise in your choices, but let those choices be yours.

Do not forget those that have loved you and have helped you through your life. Especially, your mom and dad who have loved you, cared for you, sacrificed for you. You were blessed with great parents. Even if you thought they were being mean when they grounded you for breaking curfew, they weren’t. They were being good parents. Always love them and cherish them.

I do want to say something about your grandma. She sometimes is gruff and controlling, but she loves you, and only wants the best for you. Although we could not live together, it is not because I stopped caring for her (don’t tell her that). I still love her, just can’t live with her. So give her a break sometimes. After eighty-six years, it is hard to change. Please visit her often. She will not admit it, but she is very lonely. I know that feeling well. It is so very painful especially if you think you are forgotten. She needs some of that love