Joe's Anything Goes!: Everything on the Table, Current Events-Reminiscences, Commentary- Opinions, Explanations- Solutions, Entertainment, Serious Stuff- Fun Stuff

By Joe Crowley

This little book:funny, serious, outrageous, opinionated,reverent,irreverent, inflammatory, and puzzling:will make you thinkandarouse a whole range of emotions,mirth,old memories,troublesome,pleasing,enjoyable.Just read the book!You'll love it.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Page Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Jan 18, 2023
• ISBN: 9781662475467

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Joe's Anything Goes!

Everything on the Table, Current Events-Reminiscences, Commentary- Opinions, Explanations- Solutions, Entertainment, Serious Stuff- Fun Stuff

Joe Crowley

Copyright © 2022 Joe Crowley

All rights reserved

First Edition

PAGE PUBLISHING

Conneaut Lake, PA

First originally published by Page Publishing 2022

ISBN 978-1-6624-7545-0 (pbk)

ISBN 978-1-6624-7546-7 (digital)

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Rules for the Book

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Appendix A

Appendix B

Appendix C

Appendix D

Appendix E

About the Author

Rules for the Book

Be fair and balanced like Fox News.

Avoid profanity, racial slurs, ethnic remarks, and vulgarities, except when necessary, to preserve the authenticity of the work.

Credit plagiarisms and quotes where authorship or publication is known. Use the fair use exception to copyrighted material where permission is too difficult or expensive to obtain by limiting use to only a small part of the material or an amount not really significant to it.

Use exaggerations and harmless prevarications as needed. A canard may be useful in some circumstances.

Use the term friend to obscure a source when prudent. The person may or may not be a friend.

Most friends and acquaintances will be referred to as F1, F2, F3, and so on to preserve their privacy. (I'll keep the key!)

Republicans and registered Democrats will not be used as sources. They cannot be trusted to provide objective input (their judgement has been impaired by wealth, the radical right wing, the moral majority, the right wing Christian coalition, and a huge influx of fossil fuel contributions). Historical republican figures may be used.

Write in either first person or third person as the material dictates.

Use an asterisk in parenthesis (*) to denote a clarification added by the writer.

No particular literary style will be observed, just what comes to mind as I write. Free style maybe?

I will at times insert an interrupt (something out of the clear blue, a poem, a story, a thought, something from my archives, just something that I find interesting).

Adhere to any other rules as I may later.

Chapter 1

Joe

John Joseph (Joe) Crowley

Eighty-three years old;

Married to the same woman for fifty-seven years (qualifying in and of itself to write a book). Two sons with families, both responsible citizens (but both I fear, republicans!);

Heart attack victim (1986), good excuse to quit smoking;

High blood pressure, controlled;

Type 2 diabetes, diagnosed 2002, controlled?;

Forgetful and hard of hearing when convenient;

Yellow dog democrat—never split a ticket or bought a foreign car;

Born-Again Christian—served as a deacon and Sunday school teacher in a Southern Baptist Church for many years (resigned/quit both offices some years ago)—still attends sometimes;

Bachelor of science degree, major in industrial education, minors in biology and physical education;

Federal employee, retiring at grade GS-12. Performed as an ordinance worker WG-6205-05, progressed to employee development specialist GS-00235-12, and supervisory personnel staffing specialist GS-00212-12. Assigned collateral duties at different times as EEO program coordinator, handicap program administrator, and computer systems administrator;

Served as a school board member for fourteen years (three years as board president). Defeated by one vote. Ran again and defeated by a four to one margin (victim of vast right-wing Christian conspiracy);

Served in the Oklahoma National Guard from 1957 to 1965, advancing to rank of E-6. Once fired an 89 from the five-hundred-yard line with an M-l rifle having only a peep sight;

Worked as service manager in two auto dealerships—early 1960s;

Other jobs:

Paper boy; Radio/TV tech; Flagman¹

Fry cook; Donut maker

Carpenter/builder; Electrician²

Jackleg architect and auto mechanic³

Antique dealer/collector and gun and pawnshop owner/operator

Championship Bass Fisherman—entered eleven tournaments, won five and placed second in two. Much more on this later;

Flunked English 103 three times before passing on the fourth try. Readers may be faced with some difficult constructions of grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure.

Over the past several years, assembled a large volume of notes, articles, speeches, quotations, literary works, and ideas for the book. Sources include personal experiences and education, a phenomenal memory and intellect, current events, old paper ephemera, television, periodicals⁴, the internet, and discussions with a close personal friend.

Chapter 2

The Family

My mother, had she been a Catholic, would have been sainted by the Pope many years before her death. She cared for an invalid mother, raised a nephew and three nieces through high school (along with me), worked full time, and always had meals on the table, sometimes conjuring them up from practically nothing. She made the best biscuits and gravy you could imagine and during Thanksgiving, made chicken dressing so good that God himself couldn't improve on it. At Christmas, she could whip up a sensational eggnog. Most of all, she took every daily circumstance we faced to instill in us good values and right from wrong.

My dad could sing. He organized and attended countywide singing conventions (all-day singing and dinner on the ground). He wrote songs. You could hear his voice above all of the others. He was a student of the King James Bible and would occasionally preach a sermon when called on.

I remember a story about an event that occurred at a brush arbor in the north end of the county. There were some young rascals in the woods outside the arbor that started throwing rocks at the preacher. A lucky throw hit the preacher, and he had to retire from the pulpit. The congregation called on my dad to finish the service to which he agreed.

He began by shouting to those young rascals, Now if you boys will come on in out of the woods, we will pray for you and get started with the service.

Uncle Fred was a bachelor and a WWII Navy veteran. He was around the home much of the time after the war, providing much-needed financial support and guidance