Baldwin's Catholic Geese

By Keith Hutson

Keith Hutson’s debut collection, Baldwin’s Catholic Geese, looks at the delight and heartbreak of being human through the lens of beloved music hall and variety stars like Hylda Baker and Frankie Howerd, as well as less celebrated, now long-forgotten acts of the past: The Bryn Pugh Sponge Dancers, Macauley’s Leaping Infants, Willy Netta’s Singing Jockeys, and many more. Hutson’s vividly realised portraits bring back to life a whole cast of the extraordinary characters who have entertained us for over two centuries. Comedy is brought into sharp relief by hardship. His Baldwin’s Catholic Geese is a social history chronicle in poems, focusing on what it means for all of us who have to make the most of our luck – the good, the bad, and the bizarre. Keith Hutson has written for Coronation Street and for many well-known comedians. He has published two poetry pamphlets, Routines (2016) and Troupers (2018).

• Language: English
• Publisher: Bloodaxe Books
• Release date: Feb 21, 2019
• ISBN: 9781780374567

Keith Hutson

Keith Hutson has written for Coronation Street and for many well-known comedians. His award-winning poetry has been widely-published both in the UK and internationally. He plays to packed houses and was a 2018 Laureate’s Choice poet. He is a member of the Poetry Salzburg editorial board and delivers poetry and performance workshops in schools for the Prince’s Trust. A Mancunian by birth, Keith now lives in Halifax, West Yorkshire, where he is Poet-In-Residence at the Square Chapel Theatre. He has an MA (Poetry) from Manchester Metropolitan University. His two pamphlets, Routines (Poetry Salzburg, 2016) and Troupers (Smith|Doorstop, 2018) were followed by his first book-length collection, Baldwin's Catholic Geese, from Bloodaxe in 2019.

Book preview

KEITH HUTSON

BALDWIN’S CATHOLIC GEESE

Keith Hutson’s debut collection, Baldwin’s Catholic Geese, looks at life, death, triumph, tragedy, through the lens of not only beloved music hall and variety artistes like Hylda Baker and Frankie Howerd, but also the obscure, long-forgotten acts such as The Bryn Pugh Sponge Dancers, Macauley’s Leaping Infants, Willy Netta’s Singing Jockeys, and many more.

Here is a celebration of poetic form and of the extraordinary characters who have entertained us for over two centuries. Comedy and grief, laughter and mourning bring into sharp focus what it means for all of us who have to make the most of our luck – the good, the bad, and the bizarre.

‘This is the poet as portraitist, as raconteur, as a teller of fables. The music hall poems in particular – like flickering magic lanterns – are full of wit and pathos.’ – Michael Symmons Roberts

‘These poems illuminate something timeless about ambition and the human spirit. Keith Hutson is a wonderful talent – his hardworking, technically-assured poems arrive all of a piece centre-stage.’ – Carol Ann Duffy, on Troupers

‘Knowing, funny, sad, virtuoso, these compelling sonnets bring theatrefuls of yesteryear vividly to life. Keith Hutson explores art as artfulness, performance as a way of coping, or seeming to. His ad-libs are perfectly timed and if we laugh out loud at his routines, we flinch too at the imaginary hot fat of the risks his characters take by being centre-stage.’ – PETER SANSOM, on Routines

Cover painting: Comedian’s Corner (1932)

by Harry Rutherford (1903-85)

Oil on board, 62 x 52cm © Mary Fielder

Astley Cheetham Art Gallery, Stalybridge, Greater Manchester / Bridgeman Images

KEITH HUTSON

Baldwin’s Catholic Geese

for Robert and Adele

and, of course, Fiona

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Acknowledgements are due to: Bare Fiction, The Fenland Reed, The Fortnightly Review, The Friend, Grey Suit Poetry, The High Window, The Interpreter’s House, London Grip, Magma, The Manhattan Review, The North, Poetry Salzburg Review, Prole, Spilling Cocoa Over Martin Amis, Stand and Vanguard Anthology 2.

Some of these poems, or earlier versions, appeared in two pamphlets, Routines (Poetry Salzburg, 2016) and Troupers (Smith| Doorstop, Laureate’s Choice, 2018)

‘Caretaker’ was longlisted in the 2018 National Poetry Competition judged by Hannah Lowe and Andrew McMillan. ‘The Call of the Wild’ was shortlisted in the 2017 Cornwall Contemporary Poetry Competiton judged by Alison Brackenbury. ‘Civic Theatre’ won 3rd place in the 2015 Poetry Business Yorkshire Prize judged by Billy Collins. ‘Coming On Strong’ was Commended in the 2016 York Literature Festival Competition judged by Carole Bromley. ‘I’m Here All Week’ was shortlisted for the 2017 Wordsworth Trust Prize judged by Mimi Khalvati and Ian Duhig. ‘Tiddly Om Pom Pom’ won 2nd place in the 2016 Manchester Metropolitan University Sonnet Competition judged by Carol Ann Duffy. ‘Vera’ was Commended in the 2016 Mclellan Prize judged by David Constantine. The quartet of ‘No Contest’, ‘The Fish Fryer’, ‘Heart’ and ‘Coming On Strong’ was Highly Commended in the 2016 RNCM/MMU Rosamond Prize, a poet/composer musical collaboration judged by Michael Symmons Roberts. ‘Bad Impresario’ was Highly Commended in the 2017 Rosamond Prize.

Many thanks to David Constantine, Ian Duhig, Clare Shaw.

Special thanks to Neil Astley, Michael Symmons Roberts, and Ann and Peter Sansom.

Particular thanks to Carol Ann Duffy for all her encouragement and support.

CONTENTS

Title Page

Dedication

Epigraph

Acknowledgements

The Opener

Juvenile

Coming On Strong

Revival

The Fish Fryer

No Contest

Lady Be Good

Hylda

Heart

Glasgow Empire

Bad Impresario

Accept No Imitations

Family Business

My Old Man

The Call of the Wild

Raising Steam

And They’re Off!

Night Class

The World’s Greatest Whistler

Morton Fraser’s Harmaniacs

The Man with the Xylophone Skull

The Ray Conniff Singers

Tiddly Om Pom Pom

Slave Song

Straight Man

Frontiersman

The Reluctant Sitter

Anthony Howell and His Disenchanted Sow

Largesse

The Art of Hunger

Praise Poem

Zazel, The Shooting Star!

Without a Net

Dr Zhivago

Power Sharing

The Dancing Quakers

Inextricable

The Audience

Exotica

Widow Twankey

Burlington Bertie

Out from Under

Mary Poppins

Self Help

Saddled

Better Out Than In

Beyond Belief

Crowd Control

Engagement

Controlled Explosion

Le Pétomane

Castrato

Tragedian

Nightmare Scenario

Lo! Hear the Gentle Lark

Foreign Exchange

Counter Culture

Brass Band

Pleasure Craft

Response

Bad Rap

Roughage

Three Sightings of Batman

The Hard Stuff

Little Wonder

Go Gentle

Street Cred

The Man Who Killed Houdini

Here’s Looking at You

Lament

Buccaneer

Double Act

Scandal

Vintage

Clever Bugger

Civic Theatre

Hostess Trolley

Dumbing Up

Town Crier

Light Brigade

Speech Coach

A Funny Thing Happened…

Dun Roamin’

Confidence Trick

Caretaker

Immense

Above All

Vera

Eleven, Plus

Stepping Out

The Belly Dancers of Burnage

Crossing the Floor

The Highland Live-Wire

Hostilities

I’m Here All Week!

All the Rage

Chanteur

Memory Man

Soul Mates

That’s Your Lot

NOTES

BIBLIOGRAPHY

About the Author

Copyright

Pray temper your hilarity

with a modicum of restraint

GEORGE ROBEY 1869-1954

The Opener

Do not book a buffoon. People can’t