“Wish I’d Known . . . .: Nuggets of Wisdom Learned Along the Journey”

By Ted Paddack LPC LCSW

“Wish I’d Known . . . . Nuggets of Wisdom Learned Along the Journey” began to take shape as the author recalled the vicissitudes of life itself. “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps” (Prov. 16:9 – NIV). His life’s experiences and career choices have involved the disciplines of fine arts, mental health, criminal justice, higher education academia, parenting, ethics and spirituality. He has experienced a magnificently blessed existence, but not without numerous unforeseen difficulties. His “ramblings” (he calls them ‘entries’, not ‘chapters’) may serve as a primer for others who desire to experience ‘the good life’. The entries are not a cookbook for all the self-help needs we experience. Rather, they remind the reader of the wisdom and importance of “carpe diem’, making the most of each day that God has granted! “What is your life?…. A mist that appears for a little time then vanishes. . . . Say, ‘If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.’” (James 4:14-15 – ESV) While the author writes from a Judeo-Christian perspective, even the agnostic or atheist will appreciate these timeless truths regarding everyday living! “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.” (Prov. 19:21 – MSG).

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jan 22, 2023
• ISBN: 9781669863465

Ted Paddack LPC LCSW

Ted Paddack, LPC, LCSW began his writings mainly to document some of his ramblings and ‘war stories’ told to his grandkids. They often would beg, “Tell us about that . . . . again”. Many were the incidents that he and Sandy, his life-long companion of 58 years, had experienced on their journey. 90% of the narration of events were true and relevant, but somewhat unusual (with 10 % embellishment). Soon these writings turned into more than autobiographical ramblings, covering some of the more substantial life-changing issues, and valuable lessons learned.

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Copyright © 2023 by Ted Paddack, LPC, LCSW.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Unless otherwise indicated, all scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®). Copyright ©2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. [Biblica]

• The Message (MSG), Eugene Peterson. Navpress Publishing, 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 01/19/2023

Xlibris

844-714-8691

www.Xlibris.com

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CONTENTS

Acknowledgements

Endorsements

Prologue

"Nuggets Of Wisdom

I Hear Ya!

Courage or Stupidity

On Accident!!

Share It Now

Letting Go!

Was It Worth It?

Being Plain Spoken

Wise In My Own Eyes

Who Are You? – 1

Who Are You? - 2

The Everyday, Ordinary Difference-Maker

No Turning Aside to the Right or the Left

You Mean All Those Things Are The Best?

Saying ‘Uncle’

Matters of the Heart

Goin’ Home

The Psychology Of AbundancE

Who Do You Trust?

Finally Getting It Right

Never Grow Old

Privilege

All Is Well

Drop Them Like A Hot PotatO

Then And Now

A Choice To Be Made

Death

The Hospital We All Need

Rehab

The Better Way

The Rule of 3rds

Them Was The Days

It Hurts Too Bad. . . .

Glimpses of Hopes and Dreams

Guest Author Submissions

Guest Contributors

Home

God Is Still Rising!

Seeing Jesus Clearly

Desensitized

Earthy Advice

A Father’s Love

An Appointment That Must Be Kept

Defining Moments

You See The Plan Looking Back

Cancer

Ferguson Missouri

PROCRASTINATION

I Wish I’d Known . . . . A ‘Before’ and ‘After’

Stay Awake

Karen’s Letter

Guest Contributor Brief Bios

THE 3rd SEASON

Intro

What I’ve Been Planning and Waiting For

Where Do I Go From Here

Hello, Colorado

Albrook AFB, Panama Canal Zone

The Beautiful Gulf Coast

Settling In For The Duration

Becoming A HERO

Moving On

Post-Script

Epilogue

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

T HE ORIGINAL PURPOSE for writing this book, and the primary motivators are the 5 M’s: Morgan Raquel, Madison Janae, Meghan Danielle, Mackenzie Brianna and Mason Payne. It was at their urging upon hearing some of their Poppy’s stories (sometimes repeatedly) that the decision was made to reduce them to print. To my third generation prides and joy, thank you. Love you dearly.

As most authors state, there are too many to thank for your part in making this book a reality. If I tried to list all individually, I would have forgotten several who justly deserve credit. There are a few that I wish to mention who have had a significant part in editing, proof-reading, memory-jogging, submission to publisher or just repeated encouragement to keep on when I may have felt the need or desire to shelve the entire project.

Chief among those I must recognize is my best girl-Friday, my dearly departed spouse of 58+ years, Sandra Ann, who dutifully truly kept me on track until she left this earthly existence for a better home during the writing of this book. Other valuable sources include Gary Brown, Linda Johnson, Starlet Sinclair, Ken Holsberry, Greg Stanford and my beautiful talented daughters Paige Danielle and Pepper Charae along with their spouses Thomas Brian Box and Charles Gregory Bradberry.

And lastly, even amid my procrastination, I firmly believe that the Spirit of the Living God kept prompting me that I had something to pass on that another might find value in reading.

ENDORSEMENTS

"Wish I’d Known. . . .

Nuggets of Wisdom Learned Along the Journey"

"I HAVE KNOWN TED Paddack for nearly six decades. During that time, I have been blessed by his wisdom and sage council on many occasions. There aren’t many people I would ask for advice when confronted by a difficult decision. Ted is one of them.

Dave Ramsey has famously said that common sense is so rare it should be considered as a superpower. If it is indeed a superpower, then Ted Paddack is a superhero. I know you will be blessed by the homespun common sense and wisdom contained in this book that Ted has accumulated in his eighty trips around the sun."

Gary D. Brown

Vice President of Counseling (Ret.)

IBM Global Services

Managing Director, Aegis Consulting

Thoughtful, kind and considerate — 3 words that describe Ted and repeatedly come to mind when I think back over the years I’ve known Ted Paddack. This compilation is a reflection of Ted’s desire to share with others some meaningful secrets that he has discovered along life’s pathway. There is no doubt that this collection contains pearls, gems and nuggets that, when properly applied, will absolutely change the course of your life.

Kenneth W. Worley, CFP

Branch Manager, LPL Financial

Cornerstone Wealth Management Group

I am privileged to have worked with Ted for a number of years, and I am grateful for the many ways in which he enhanced my career. Ted imparted as many nuggets of wisdom as he learned from others.

Robert Brotherton

Judge, 30th District Court (Ret.)

Senior Judge, North Central Texas

For close to 30 years I have known Ted in what I surmise to be three phases: first when I was his student; second as his colleague; and third as his friend. During each of these phases I have depended heavily upon his thoughtful analysis and wisdom, and found myself listening intently anytime he chose to share his thoughts on a subject. His words were always conveyed with impeccable timing and precision, and with thoughtfulness that I have admired and attempted to mimic. It has been a true pleasure to learn from Ted an my own life-journey, and I am certain the words, vision and lessons in this book will help you as well.

Nathan R. Moran, Ph.D.

Chairman & Professor

Criminal Justice Department

Midwestern State University

"Ted and I have eaten breakfast together every Tuesday for a couple of decades now. It is a highlight in my week. Ted is a good story teller, and his stories have something to say. He is a fount of wisdom and many times I’ve gone to him for advice; some of the times I’ve actually taken his advice! Seriously, I quote things he has said to me quite often when others ask me for advice. I know you’ll enjoy hearing his stories and I know you’ll walk away with some nugget of wisdom! So get a cup of coffee, sit down at a table and have breakfast with Ted.

Ken Holsberry

Senior Pulpit Minister

Tenth and Broad Church of Christ

WISH

I’D

KNOWN

"Nuggets of Wisdom

Learned Along

   The Journey"

Ted Paddack

PROLOGUE

A Must-Read Before Continuing

O KAY. SO MAYBE the " Wish I’d Known . . . . " title may indicate that I know something now that I didn’t know then . Just to clear the air, and to try to maintain my truthfulness and integrity! It is probably safer to say ‘I had an intellectual knowledge of many of these truths long ago’. But, I may not have always succeeded in best putting into play (internalizing) those nuggets of wisdom that someone long ago graciously passed on to me. I still have a ways to go!

Next, being a university prof, I am sensitive to plagiarisms, or taking credit for an insight that rightfully belongs to another. That is one of the low points for personal integrity. I freely admit there are likely numerous issues of keen awareness (and/or quotes) that I would love to claim that belong to someone else. Either I have forgotten who that is --- I claim old age as my defense --- or I never really knew the original source. Sooooo…, if it’s your nugget of wisdom, notify me and I promise to credit you in my second edition of this book (how’s that for optimism for a septuagenarian to talk about 2nd editions).

I have had an increditably good life. I am blessed! I am deeply thankful that I had the opportunity to have been in the company of so many who have exemplified lives of honor. And proper credit has never been given to them. I have been extremely fortunate to have had those who gave me a hand up, who brought me along with them when I could not have done it on my own! We all have been surrounded by those individuals. While I wish I could contact them to let them know of my appreciation for their sagacity and discernment, many of them have already preceded me in graduating to a far greater reward.

I also now realize that there are currently a host of persons much younger than I who are taking on the leadership in creating a better world for all of us. Age is not really the proper measure of a person’s wisdom, so I have tried to still seek out those who search for truth sans their number of birthdays. It’s just that those hoary heads of times past often have had the advantage of many years of personal experience and observation. Sometimes they, like me, have faced the painful encounters of reality, testing out the real value of our conclusions about the good life.

My goal and inspiration for the writing of this book is simply to aid and encourage you and others to implement those ‘eternal truths’ that may be found among the following individual entries. I make no claim that my observations are always the absolute truth. I continue to learn. Our Father God is the originator of all truth!! In my following ramblings, I freely reference His spiritual truths that make our daily lives the richest possible as we live on this planet. I join the apostle Paul as he states in I Corinthians 13 (the ‘love chapter’) that "now I know in part, but then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known" (The Message).

Well, if you’ve made it this far, and haven’t already decided to put the book down for another time, let me assure you that I make no claim to possession of the most profound ‘nuggets of wisdom’. In fact, the ensuing pages may be a little too whimsical, or plainly witless. There is no logical progression to each entry, just ramblings that made some sense to me, and maybe might spark something worthwhile and positive for you as you travel life’s journey.

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You will teach them to fly;

but they will not fly your flight.

You will teach them to dream;

but they will not dream your dream.

You will teach them to live;

but they will not live your life.

Nevertheless,

In every flight,

In every life,

In every dream,

The print of the way

you taught them will remain.

—Mother Teresa

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I HEAR YA!

F OR DECADES NOW, I have had the pleasure of having breakfast on Tuesday mornings with Ken. When we started this practice, I was an elder at Tenth and Broad church, and he was the young Associate Minister, primarily working with LifeGroups and Adult Education. I think we just hit it off right to enjoy each other’s company. Our ages were and are from different generations. Many of our conversations at breakfast were not having a bunch to do with our roles in the Lord’s mission, though that was important. We’d talk everything, sometimes the weather or other trivial subjects. Probably the most often discussed topic has been our families, and sometimes about where we are in our lives, what our hopes and dreams are.

Then Ken moved on. He left Tenth and Broad, as he should have to fulfill his goals, to preach for another local congregation here in town. Though not as often and in different roles, we still found time to get together regularly, usually on Tuesday or Wednesday mornings. I loved it, although I think some wondered if we weren’t just double agents spying on the other church’s business! And then the best part happened. Our elders (from whom I had graduated by this time) invited Ken to be our Preaching Minister, joining them in ‘shepherding’ Tenth and Broad. Both of us still are at very different seasons of our lives. But what I most value is that Ken is the best listening ear I’ve still got when I need to be heard!!

Have you ever noticed? People are hungry just to have someone say to them, I Hear Ya! Many people all around us are also hurting.

We’ve all been there, when someone needed to talk. Sometimes it may have been that we know that the person is ‘needy’, and if I pay attention, I may get tied up longer than I desire. The real dilemma is that we really are busy. But my business so often is not as pressing as another’s need for me. They probably don’t need my advice, or my opinion. They need my ear.

Having been a licensed professional counselor for decades, I can verify that it is more than just a truism that many who would confide in me benefit much more from my listening than my guidance or diagnosis. How often has the person stated, I feel better just having been able to talk with you. That’s somewhat humbling to think that I didn’t fix anything, I just heard them.

One doesn’t have to be a professional to listen, and in fact may be more limited because of the expectations that accompany the trained or ‘credentialed’. Just being you may be just what most of us who are hurting need, no particular expertise offered!! Take just a minute right now to review what’s going on in your family, at church, in your community, on your job. Life is not going as planned!

Sometimes it’s a little overwhelming to know how many could use our listening ear, and the temptation is there to choose to just avoid it altogether. Instead, make that two minute phone call to the parent of a difficult teen, and be prepared to listen for maybe ten minutes. Send the email to a friend who has just got laid off, and say ‘give me a call’ or ‘let’s go for a cup of coffee’. And I’ve got one that is close to my heart at this season of my life --- just stop by and say ‘hi’ to a shut-in or two, whether they’re still at home or requiring long-term