Targeted, Wounded, Yet Still Standing: Truth be told

By Harriet Hawkins

"The oak fought the wind and was broken, the willow bent when it must and survived." -Robert Jordan
This is the story of an oak and the willow within a single mother fighting for her position in life. Having come across so many experiences in life, I have learned to look into the eyes of the challenges and be prepared, not scared.
Gender discrimination and workplace politics are two underlying evils of society. Even though two decades into the 21st century, we are still struggling in terms of establishing gender equity and justice. Coming from a military background and having served a great period of my life to the forces, I learned this the hard way that you cannot fight everything, but maybe 'YOU' can.
My inspiration in writing this book is driven by my personal experiences; some I won, in some I learned. I realized this the harsher way that people, no matter how close they are, can be made to turn against you. In this course of life, you will fall, get bruises, lose friends, and face loneliness, but all you need to do is learn and grow from your shortcomings. Be stronger, braver, and the better version of yourself!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Harriet Hawkins
• Release date: Jan 23, 2023
• ISBN: 9798215207604

Book preview

Chapter 1: Parents

Parents, no matter who or where they are, are a child’s mirror to this world. They become their first teacher, their first love, and their first influence. But, becoming a parent is not for everyone. This is what I learned from my father. He might not have been my older sister’s biological father, but there was nothing her real dad did that qualified him to be called a parent. On the other hand, my father was a man who took care of my sister like his own. In a way, she was his own.

My father was an excellent man but an even better dad. He was intelligent, charismatic, and very calm. He had the kind of laughter that just lights up any room. My parents, in fact, had been exposed to a life full of love, appreciation, and laughter. This was in complete contrast to what life was like before they met.

Before my father met my mother, there were not a lot of reasons in her life to be happy. When she was born, she felt like there was some sort of deformity in her hands. Growing up, she always felt insecure because of it, but my grandmother made it her absolute mission to make my mom confident. Every day she would affirm her faith that she was indeed perfect. Every day she would make my mom believe in herself, and somehow through her constant avowals, my mother started to believe in herself. Sadly, it wasn’t easy because the era she was growing up in was not ready for strong women. It somehow felt threatened by them.

The generation my mother was growing up in was not one where you saw women like her. It was not one when you saw women studying, it was not the time when women prioritized their careers over their families, and it definitely was not when you could have a child out of wedlock. Still, that’s what my mother had done. She was prioritizing her time in academics, not letting the world make decisions for her, and she had a daughter with a man who did not want to take up the responsibility of raising her. All that stress and pressure led to my grandmother taking my older sister away from her. A bit dramatic, I know, but I am sure she had her reasons; maybe she thought the world was unkind to single mothers, and she would not have been wrong because it was. However, being away from her own flesh and blood wasn’t doing her much good either.

Today, I often wonder what my mother would have been like if she had been born during this time, but I never seem to find the right answer. I just know one thing for sure if she wasn’t born, then she would never have met my father. At that time, she was dealing with the troubles of life, and those troubles just seemed to be piling on her every day. That is until she finally met him.

It might have been an instant connection, but my mother didn’t realize it at first. Since she was going through tough times and dealing with her insecurities, she felt odd that my father pursued her. These insecurities left her wondering why someone like him would ever go for someone like her. But what she didn’t know was they were perfect for each other.

When my parents met, my father was still in college, but soon he was drafted into the Army during the Korean War. He knew he had to leave. The service had called him, which meant he not only had to leave college but also had to leave my mother behind. But he did not want to do that. Their love was blossoming, and their adoration was just growing for each other, so they had only one solution – a solution that would wrap their future together. It was to get married.

So, they did. Just before my father boarded the flight to leave, the two were married. And maybe it was fast, but they never once looked back. They became the kind of couple people idealized. Whenever I think back to that time, I always picture them laughing together, hugging each other, and just showing affection to each other. It’s not to say that they were both the same because they weren’t. I think they were both quite the opposite.

My father was a homebody who could stay home for an entire week if he had to. This makes me think he would have been doing just fine today during the lockdown. On the other hand, my mother was, and is still, extremely social. She loves going out, loves her friends, and can talk about everything and anything for ages. My father was low on drama, at least compared to my mother. I’d say no drama at all, and my mother just lives for the theatrics, but I have realized this is how most mothers are. I mean, I would completely understand if I was one because of the things they deal with on a daily basis. I would say that’s still less.

My father was the only child of his parents, and my mother had siblings. The fact that he did not have siblings growing up always plagued him. And because my parents went on to have six children, he could never understand sibling rivalry. Every time we used to get into arguments or small scuffles, he was always confused. He would just come up to us and say, I don’t understand this. I wish I had brothers and sisters.

Living with these contrasting personalities was fun. I learned so much from them. They were the kind of parents who loved to love. And if I only had one of them, I don’t think I would have become the person I am today. Having these two people beside me at all times offered me something that, unfortunately, not many people have growing up with, and that was constant love and support.

Their love had resulted in me, my siblings, and my father finally getting to experience the joy of siblings, but only through the relentless fights between his kids.

My father was the epitome of perfection, making sure that we were all well taken care of. He was the man who taught me a lot about life and how a man should treat me. He held his daughters in such high esteem that he would never let even my brothers put their hands on us. He was wise, fun-loving, and just an easy-going man. Over time, we only got close.

My mother was the opposite, though, as mothers generally are in a relationship. It’s a given, especially considering the responsibilities given to mothers. Regardless, my mother and I had a great relationship. Sure though, growing up was tough. She was a woman with standards that I had to meet. I believed she was quite rough on me, but she would disagree.

As we grew older, my sister began to run away, and that was when my mother decided that she would actually keep me tethered. She took me everywhere with her. I didn’t really have much freedom. If she wanted to go to the store, I was with her. Parties, dances, shopping – we did practically everything together, and I felt like I didn’t have a voice of my own to