Raising Families the Jesus Way: Biblical Insights for Godly Parenting and Shaping Future Generations

By Mary Garcia, Sarah Garcia, Sal Garcia and 3 more

How to Raise Godly Kids Today so They Can Transform Tomorrow

In today's culture, raising godly kids is harder--and more important--than ever. In this innovative new book, pastors Frank and Mary Garcia team up with their adult children, Sarah and Sal, to offer you powerful, practical keys to grow your family God's way.

As Mary and Frank share parenting tips, advice, encouragement, and how-tos, Sarah and Sal share their own insights on how these same lessons shaped and impacted them. Engaging, profound, and humorous, each chapter digs deep into the rich soil of God's Word, going past surface solutions to discover the root issues of difficult behaviors and parenting problems, including how to

· have a healthy soul to be a godly model to your kids,
· discipline effectively, not harshly,
· resolve sibling rivalry, 
· protect family time, 
· nourish your child's identity and gifting, 
· discern and break generational strongholds, 
· and more. 

Full of rich wisdom and practical application, this real-world guide ultimately shows how you can shape future generations by becoming the godly role model and support your kids need.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
• Release date: Mar 14, 2023
• ISBN: 9781493439409

Book preview

"I have known the Garcia family for two decades and consider them to be dear friends. What you will find in this book is the very reason why they are so special. Full of humor, truth, and practical wisdom, Raising Families the Jesus Way is a wonderful dive into the special relationship between a father, mother, daughter and son told from each of their individual perspectives. Mary, Sarah, Sal, and Frank will take you deep into just what it takes to be a loving parent and a loving child in a world that does its best to tear families apart. I highly recommend you read this book!"

—Amir Tsarfati, founder and president of Behold Israel Ministries

The parent-child team of Mary, Frank, Sarah, and Sal Garcia brings the focus back to God and the family in this parenting book for such a time as this.

—#1 New York Times bestselling author Karen Kingsbury

Having witnessed Sarah’s life since we were teenagers, I feel it’s too right to share thoughts not as an artist but as her friend. Her life speaks even louder than the heartfelt text in this book. She is a woman who is loyal to her community, is passionate about Jesus and above all else honors her parents. The unquestionable fact about her work is that it is always pure and authentic.

—Moriah Smallbone, artist and writer, wife to Joel Smallbone (For King & Country)

I have yet to start a family of my own, but it’s something I am prayerfully preparing to do with Jesus at the center. I’ve loved getting to see the practical application of how to do just that through the wisdom and experiences of the Garcia family. Filled with insights, challenges, and how to overcome those challenges with a God-fearing perspective, they have been a real blessing to me. Both in my life today, and in the future family I hope to raise.

—Michael Andrew, Olympic gold medalist and world record holder

Have you ever met a family that had an incredible culture? They were full of love, joy, and peace? The Garcia family has that, and I’m so excited about their new book. You don’t have to be raised in a great family or even feel like you have an incredible culture in your family now. With their insights, you can begin to work toward building a house full of love. There is really nothing more important.

—Matt Brown, evangelist, author of Truth Plus Love, founder of Think Eternity

Mary, Sarah, Sal, and Frank are the truest examples of everything they write in this book. Their book is packed full of applicable truths, relevant examples at every turn and so much encouragement. This book is incredibly refreshing and will truly be a game-changer for families!

—Masey McClain, actress in I’m Not Ashamed, author

© 2023 by Mary B. Garcia, Frank V. Garcia, Sarah S. Garcia, and Sal G. Garcia

Published by Chosen Books

Minneapolis, Minnesota

www.chosenbooks.com

Chosen Books is a division of

Baker Publishing Group, Grand Rapids, Michigan

www.bakerpublishinggroup.com

Ebook edition created 2023

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.

ISBN 978-1-4934-3940-9

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations identified AMPC are from the Amplified® Bible (AMPC), copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. www.Lockman.org

Scripture quotations identified KJV are from the King James Version of the Bible.

Scripture quotations identified NASB are taken from the (NASB®) New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1971, 1977, 1995, 2020 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. All rights reserved. www.lockman.org

Scripture quotations identified NKJV are from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations identified NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

All interior images by Michaela Andrew. Used with permission.

Cover design by Darren Welch Design

Authors represented by the literary agency of A Drop of Ink, LLC. www.adropofink.pub.

Baker Publishing Group publications use paper produced from sustainable forestry practices and post-consumer waste whenever possible.

To the woman who embodied compassion, selflessness, strength and love to my family and me: my beautiful mother, Alicia Baez, who is now in the arms of Jesus. To my dad, who gave his life to Jesus, and together we have seen so many miracles. And to my husband, Frank, and my son and daughter, Sal and Sarah. The Lord has blessed me abundantly to have you as my family. Together, we have been through the highs and lows of life, but it has been a blessing to see us grow through the trials and ultimately grow closer together as a family. And to my beautiful Aunt Carmen, who has suffered so much, yet through her suffering she still has continually loved God and loved family. You all, including Jesus, are my world, and I am beyond blessed to write this God-ordained message with you.

To the people of every stage of life (single, engaged, married, families) who picked up this book—we wrote this book for you. I pray that through each page you would feel enlightened, encouraged and empowered to walk in the Lord and raise families the Jesus way. We pray salvation over you in the name of Jesus, a resolve to walk in the fear of the Lord, transformation of your heart and mind, a love for God’s Word that will shape you and be your manual for raising families, breakthroughs over generational strongholds, courage to discipline and be the spiritual leader in the home, wisdom to unfold how God created your kids to be, and that you would be led by the Spirit in all areas of your life, show grace, and leave a legacy of faith for generations to come.

—Mary B. Garcia

Contents

Cover

Endorsements    1

Half Title Page    3

Title Page    5

Copyright Page    6

Dedication    7

Foreword    11

Acknowledgments    13

PART ONE THE ESSENTIALS    15

1. Back to the Bible: God’s E-manual for Parenting    17

2. Essentials for Parenting the Jesus Way: Foundations for Godly Parenting    27

PART TWO THE PARENT SECTION    39

3. You Do It, Then You Teach It: Lead by Example by Modeling Christ    41

4. Too Blessed to Be Stressed: Passing on a Biblical Blessing    53

PART THREE THE ROOT OF THE PROBLEM    63

5. I’m Going to Tell My Kids . . . : Breaking Generational Strongholds    65

6. The Heart of the Problem: Parenting the Heart    81

PART FOUR FAMILY LIFE    97

7. The Family Tree: Family Forms at the Cross    99

8. As for Me and My House: Spiritual Leadership and Home Field Advantage    109

9. Don’t Mold, Unfold: Unfolding Who God Created Your Child to Be    129

10. Legos and Kitchens: Parenting Roles through Structure and Nurture    145

11. The Chastened Child: Training Children in the Way They Should Go    153

PART FIVE SPIRITUAL GROWTH AND PRACTICAL PARENTING    169

12. Holy Spirit–Led Parenting: The Parenting Game-Changer    171

13. The Secret Sauce: Equipping Your Family with the Word, Worship, and Prayer    183

14. Learn from Our Mistakes: The Way to Show GRACE to Your Kids    199

15. Leaving a Legacy of Faith: Raising Families the Kingdom Way    207

Notes    215

About the Authors    219

Back Cover    220

Foreword

We had the pleasure of meeting Sarah while in Israel several years ago. We were immediately struck by her grace and kindness, but the more we got to know her, we were deeply impressed by her leadership, drive, and compassion to reach the lost and forgotten.

Just recently we were honored to witness the whole Garcia family ministering together in one of the many services they lead for their ever-growing community. It’s a rare thing to see a family loving Jesus and loving each other the way the Garcias do. We can assure you, there is not a better family to learn from in the ways of family life. They have done it well, following Jesus, their Shepherd and Leader, through every phase of life.

Raising Families the Jesus Way is a beautiful view of the special relationship between a mother and father, daughter and son, told from their individual perspectives. Mary, Frank, Sarah, and Sal will take you on a beautiful journey of what it takes to be a loving parent and a loving child in a world that no longer views family as a strength. One of the many highlights we so appreciate about this book is that it doesn’t just focus on parenting children, but encourages parents to do the heart work on themselves first so that their children can rightly model their godly character.

Our prayer is that, as you read this book, you will feel strengthened with might by God’s Spirit in your inner man, and that you would be ready to make step-by-step changes to create a legacy of faith for your children and their children to come. God bless you as you embark on this journey into the heart of Jesus for family.

Cory and Anna Asbury, Grammy nominated Christian

artist/songwriter, dad and mom

Acknowledgments

by Mary B. Garcia

My husband, Frank, and I want to thank our beautiful daughter, Sarah, who encouraged me to write this book. She is such a talented writer, and her help and support, along with the help of the Holy Spirit, is the only reason why this book is here today. Thanks to Sarah for pouring her heart and soul into this book. Her obedience to God’s call will be greatly rewarded here on earth and into eternity.

We want to thank our wonderful son, Sal. He took on so many different roles to help get this book published. He put his mind to it and quickly became our resident graphic designer, content editor, grammar inspector, theology examiner, photographer, videographer, podcast producer, IT manager, idea gatherer, and movie reference extraordinaire. Thanks to Sal for giving his whole heart and mind to this book, using his gifts and talents for the Lord as he has always done.

We want to acknowledge the Chosen Books and Baker Publishing Group team who worked so hard on getting this book out. From the executives to the editors and marketing and design teams—thank you all so much. It was a team effort, and working with you was a joy and an honor. A special thanks to David Sluka, Jill Olson, and Hannah Ahlfield—our editors at Chosen Books. They took such special care of the content of this book, and they were always there for us on this writing journey to answer all of our questions.

And a very special thanks to our amazing, incredible, talented, kindhearted agent—Tom Dean. There are obviously not enough adjectives to describe what an extraordinary person he is. Not only is he an incredible agent to work with, but through this whole process, he became family. He loves deeply and was always there to help us in this journey, and even to pray with us through the trials. He worked tirelessly to get us a publishing deal and oversaw so many of the details that really brought this book into fruition. We’re beyond blessed to know him and to have worked with him.

Thank you to the numerous friends and family who came alongside us to pray with us through the writing process. Their support and love meant the world.

Those we’ve named here and so many more unmentioned have all enriched our lives beyond measure. May the Lord continue to pour blessings upon each and every one.

1

Back to the Bible

God’s E-manual for Parenting

fig017

Do you ever wish you could be Marty McFly, and just hop in your DeLorean, travel to the future, and see how your kids turn out—just like in the movie Back to the Future? I don’t know one parent who wouldn’t love to have that kind of foreknowledge, to have all the guesswork and stress taken out of parenting. Parents are always coming up to me, and asking questions like, Do you think I am disciplining my kids too much or too little? Do I make them obey me, or do I give them more freedom? Let’s face it, no one wants to mess up parenting so badly that Doc Brown shows up from the future in a DeLorean, hollering, Something’s gotta be done about your kids! This book is designed to give that after-the-fact insight. Coming from the various perspectives of our whole family—mother, father, daughter, and son—you get the parenting lessons, followed by the insights from the adult children who received those lessons. A holistic perspective, a true collaboration, thirty years in the making.

Why is it that every other song you hear these days has an artist, featuring another artist, featuring a DJ? There is power in collaboration. We wanted this book to be different from the other parenting and family life books that are out there by giving you four different perspectives. My husband and I will provide the experience of thirty-plus years of parenting, and my daughter and son will give honest insights into what it was like growing up under that experience, what our parenting looked like through their eyes. Together, we offer you a Holy Spirit–inspired manual on how to raise Christlike children who are rooted and grounded in the Word, who will carry that foundation forward to shape generations to come. Since my daughter and I are counselors, we will also give you much-needed tools to help you lay the groundwork in your own heart and mind first, so that your children can rightly model your character and actions.

This book won’t take you back to the future, but back to the Bible for a foundational big picture of what family and parenting are all about. We desire to give you God’s wisdom, understanding, vision, motivation, and renewed strength. We hope to help you find God’s perspective of all He has for you. We start by giving you a clear understanding of who you are in the task of family and parenting, and then who the children are whom God has entrusted to you.

God has given me a vision to stop treating symptoms but get to the root of family and parenting problems. When you go to a good doctor, they won’t just give you pharmaceutical medicine to temporarily relieve the symptoms, but rather they will ask questions about your daily activities, family history, how much natural sunlight you’re getting, your gut microbiome, your daily food log, and they’ll take your blood work. Hippocrates is believed to have said, The greatest medicine of all is teaching people how not to need it. If we get back to Bible basics first and start with the heart of parenting, we will be able to lay a strong foundation upon which we can build effective parenting strategies.

Meeting Jesus

I’d like to start off by telling how Jesus saved my life and grafted me into His family. You might not believe this story, but it really did happen—all of it.

The year was 1979 and I was eighteen years old (if you are doing the math on my age, stop right there please). I was a first-generation American living in Los Angeles. My family grew up in poverty, and to make matters worse, my father (who is now Christian and doesn’t mind me sharing his testimony) had a drinking problem, which created a lot of chaos and trouble in the home. My family was Catholic, but by that I mean we went to mass a few times a year just so we could call ourselves Catholic. We were what I like to call a CEO family (Christmas-Easter-Only). Because religion was somewhat a part of my life, I knew about God, but I really didn’t know God or have a personal relationship with Him. My life was falling apart from the inside out when the enemy started infiltrating my mind with suicidal thoughts. One day as I drove in my car around a winding California freeway, I heard a voice in my head tell me that if I simply turned the wheel of my car so it went off the cliff, all the pain would go away . . . everything would be right and peaceful. I cried out loud in a choked voice, Jesus! If You’re really real, if You actually love me, if You actually have a plan for me—please show me! Right at that moment, I heard a loud honk. I looked out my driver window and saw a car with four passengers. All four