Color America Green

By Violet Braham Lisle

Despondent over the public outcry of indignation, fury, anger and hate, from a Christian sector, who shouted, 'Kerri Webster is a heretic!' Kerry stood at the library window and cried out, "God, why didn't you back me up with the hidden document that could exonerate Judas? But there was no answer. She felt God wasn't listening. "God, if you can

• Language: English
• Publisher: Palmetto Publishing
• Release date: Nov 28, 2022
• ISBN: 9798822901964

Book preview

Color America Green

I

t was a cold, rainy, blustery day as Kerri stood looking out the library window. She couldn’t believe how much could happen in one year. Would the sun ever shine again? Would God’s light ever shine on her again, in a good way?

Last year, Kerri Webster was captain of her debate team at Greenville University. She had been so confident of God and his guidance in her life. She had believed that God was not only on her side, but walking with her. She had felt him not only in her heart, but in her head. She’d known he was protecting her from any harm. Was that protective shield still in place?

She had been successful in presenting the case to exonerate Judas Iscariot, the most infamous villain on earth. This could only have happened because it was God’s plan for Judas, and he had chosen her to fulfill this plan. It was the most head swelling, ego bursting high anyone could ever imagine.

The results of her debate were so astounding, that it had gotten on all the major television stations, and her picture was on the cover of major news magazines. She had been so successful in getting the message that Judas’ actions toward Jesus had been part of God’s plan for the salvation of souls, that thousands of messages poured in expressing relief that this truth was finally presented for all to see. There were messages stating that this is the only way it could have happened, and she must be a prophet chosen by God himself. There were messages praising her for tying all the loose ends together.

Then… then came the public outcry of indignation, fury, anger, and hate. The cry arose, ‘Kerri Webster is a heretic’.

It had never even crossed her mind that there would be anyone who wouldn’t be able to see the possibility of God’s plan for salvation as she saw it. She certainly had expected the conventional and mainstream churches to accept it. But, that’s where the greatest amount of anger had come from; these Christians just didn’t want to believe that there was possibly another way it could have happened, other than ‘Judas was a devil and acted out of hate’ when he led the authorities to Jesus. Kerri cried out, God, why didn’t you back me up with the proof. You said there was a document that was written. Why didn’t you produce it?" But, without an answer, she, too, started to doubt her message.

This was when her faith began to fall apart. She thought she was handling this situation just fine. She even began to think that this is what her next debate would be about. Even though her last debate was about reincarnation, these strong feelings weren’t about whether or not a soul can be reincarnated. They were about whether or not Judas was a friend and partner with Jesus to accomplish God’s plan for the salvation of souls.

Before she could get this development into perspective…word came that her brother, Nick, had been wounded in Iraq. After being in a hospital in Texas he was then moved to the veteran’s hospital near her college. With the label of ‘heretic’ hanging around her neck, she took it upon herself to visit her brother each day. He had said she was a lunatic for presenting such a far-fetched idea in the first place, and this caused her gloom to deepen.

She came to find out that her label was different in Iraq than either of those. Indeed, the news of Judas and Jesus had reached that part of the world, but the Iraqis were willing to overlook her belief and labeled her ‘just another fanatical Christian’. Frankly speaking, they didn’t care what her belief was, because they don’t believe that Jesus is the only begotten Son of God.

‘Heretic, lunatic, fanatic…these names weighed heavy on her mind. She hadn’t realized there actually were people who didn’t believe in Christ.

At this point in time, Kerri was still getting up at six am for devotions and exercise. She was still maintaining her weight with several small snack type meals. These were habits that she had been doing for over eight years, and she had expected to keep doing this morning routine for the rest of her life.

She dropped the debate team to make more time for her brother, or so she said, but actually she didn’t have the heart for debating anymore, and maybe she was rebelling, just a little, against God. She didn’t recognize it as such because she had never been let down by God… Is that what she felt? Yes… She felt let down and exhausted.

They say that old habits are hard to break. That must just be if they are bad habits, because it only took a few days of not doing her morning routine, and it was then almost impossible to find the time to include it.

She started skipping the morning routine and her snacks, so that she could visit her brother, Nick, before class. He was so despondent that she decided to have lunch with him. Since she is a psychology major, she felt it her obligation to help him through his traumas, but she came away from the visits exhausted. If it hadn’t been for Andy, her soul mate, she would have forgotten all the other meals. She found being with him lifted her spirits.

He was helping her deal with these emotions, and she was starting to gain ground emotionally when the news came that the river had flooded her parent’s home. They had evacuated and went to another town. When they got back to their home everything was wet and mildewed. Mold had permeated the walls and floors. They decided they would have the house torn down and move into a new house within a new senior citizen development. They had discovered this community when they had evacuated and just loved it. Her parents had praised God for this turn of events in their lives.

This flood had a completely different effect on Mary Rice, her high school friend, who had taken her children and gone to live in a shelter for abused women, to get away from her verbally and physically abusive husband. She and her children had been evacuated. It was during this time that her husband discovered where she was and came after her with a gun. He had surprised her, but he made the mistake of coming up behind her and grabbing her. He was unaware that she had learned how to protect herself. He grabbed her and even though she didn’t know who it was, she stomped on his foot and hit him in the stomach with her elbow. Surprised and off balance, he hit her in the face with the gun. She recovered enough to trip him with her foot and reached for the gun. The gun went off and it blew his face off.

She had passed out. After she was taken to the hospital, it was discovered that the blow to the head had caused a clot to lodge in her brain and she had suffered an ischemic stroke. No one knows if it was because of the influx of people from the flood, or if it was because she didn’t have any insurance, but when she was taken to the hospital the doctors let the stroke run its course. Even though Mary was in the ER within the hour, the emergency room doctor told her it was too late to administer the clot busting drug, that when administered within three hours of a stroke, has a good chance of breaking up the clot, and there is a good chance that the person can return to a normal life.

Andy, Dr. Andrew Marks, the love of Kerri’s life had told her that the small hospital where she had been taken probably didn’t have a doctor trained to administer the drug, and if it was administered incorrectly there could be dire consequences.

Mary’s mother had her two children, and Mary was transferred to a stroke rehabilitation hospital right here in Greenville. Andy found time to go with Kerri to visit both Mary and Nick. Because Mary was now no longer married, she fell into the financial classification that allowed her to receive medical assistance from the state. She received psychological and physical therapy and all her bills were paid at the nursing facility. She was transferred back to a nursing facility near her mother and children. The doctors at the rehab center felt she would make more progress if she were closer to her family.

Kerri’s despondency grew. Maybe Kerri could have handled one incident at a time. But before she handled one crisis another crisis came along. Even with her training in psychology she hadn’t been able to regroup. She thought ‘If I could just have some time to organize my thoughts, maybe I could figure this out.’

It had been for this reason that Andy had reminded Kerri that spring break was coming up and perhaps they could get away. His church was having a retreat, and she would be able to participate in events or just spend time meditating and letting her mind heal. He could take the bicycles and they could spend some time together. Kerri realized that this is just what she needed. She asked Andy if he would set it up for them. She really wanted to get in touch with God again. Maybe she could get back to her morning routine while at the retreat. Maybe their spirits could help lift her spirit.

It was a couple of weeks later that she was awakened by the ringing of her phone. It was a friend of Andy’s saying, Andy had been in an accident. He had stopped to get something to eat at a restaurant. He saw a car back out of a parking space and hit a woman. He had run to help the woman who had been hit, and the woman driving the car that hit her, apparently, panicked and hit the gas pedal instead of the brake. Her car had pinned Andy against another car. Andy was going to be alright, but he had two broken knees and it would take some time to mend, and then he would need physical therapy.

Now, Kerri felt completely overwhelmed, and more separated from God than before. She had been attending classes, but seemed in a daze. Because Kerri had always been at the top of her class and loved to participate in lively classroom discussions the professors noticed when her attitude changed. The professors realized her dilemma, and they were doing all they could to help her. She didn’t seem disinterested or angry. She did her homework and passed her tests, but she wasn’t lively or caring.

She seemed to be placing the blame on God. She believed that God had told her there was a hidden document, a document that was written by a priest; a document that would exonerate Judas Iscariot; a document that she felt was God’s responsibility to produce. This one document could spare her a lot of humiliation.

So, here she stood in front of the school library window. She had just been given her assignment to work on over the spring break. She had a few days before the retreat and Andy wouldn’t be able to go. She felt deserted! Maybe God has left me because I accepted praise for presenting Judas’ case! Maybe, I didn’t give Him enough praise! Oh, I don’t know, and I’m too tired to figure it out. God, if you can hear me, come out, come out, wherever you are! Now she cried out loud, God, where are you?

A bolt of lightning flashed, and hit and split the tree right outside. It scared her and caused her to yell and jump back from the window. Then a loud boom of thunder shook her building.

She covered her ears. Okay! Was God answering her? Then another earth-shaking roar of thunder caused her to cover her ears, and she yelled, Okay! What are you trying to say?

She became alert! She listened for a voice from the thunder, or from the wind. She heard nothing…Had it just been co-incidence? She strained to hear God’s voice. She longed to hear his comforting voice, but… there was only silence. The deafening silence of the universe crashed around her head, filled her heart… and lay shattered on the floor.

She whispered, Why are you ignoring me? Her eyes filled up with held back tears. The tears of a soul’s spirit yearning for its creator to comfort it once again. As she tipped her head forward, tears fell like a waterfall and formed puddles on her economics notebook.

She thought, ‘I’ve had enough. In defiance she yelled, Well, God, if you want to get my attention this time, you’re going to have to write it out and hand it to me! She made a sweeping motion with her hand and knocked her economics notebook off the window sill. She was going to give it a kick, but as she moved her foot her eyes glanced down. She saw something written on the top page. She picked it up. It was her assignment for her economics class. The professor had handed it to her as she was leaving the classroom just a short time ago. She read it.

Your Economic assignment

Color America Green

You are to list the economic and environmental problems facing America today.

You are to select what you consider to be the six major drains on the economy.

You are to research each one. This is what you do best Kerri.

You are to write how you would solve each one. Prof. Sanders

She stood dazed, staring at the written note from her professor. Six months ago, she would have reveled in this, but now, she was just too tired and she didn’t care. She asked in a mocking manner, "What does this mean? Is this your manner of writing it out and handing it to me? You want me to save the planet? If it is, I can’t do it! This is just a waste of time. There is no veracity associated with the name Kerri Webster anymore, thanks to you! I stuck my neck out for you about Judas, and I can’t even verify that he was part of your plan. I’m only one person…

I can’t save your planet. I can’t do it."

The lightning flashed and the thunder rumbled.

Her body was cold and trembling all over. The lightning lit up the sky again. Her attention was drawn to the huge tree outside that had been split moments before. She stared at it in disbelief. The tree that had been split with lightning, now stood healed back together. Had she been mistaken? Had she only imagined that lightning had split the tree? Lightning struck the tree again, and she heard the sound of the cracking, and saw the gap in the tree appear and watched it heal up again. She stood dumbfounded staring at the tree. She glanced at the notebook. She bent down to pick up the fallen papers, but she fell on her knees and humbly replied, I guess I can do this after all.

Something Wonderful for Me

I

hurried out the door from the library, and made a dash for my dorm. It was raining very hard, and even though it only took me a few minutes to get to my building, I was soaked. I felt so cold that as soon as I got to my room, I made a cup of hot tea, and got into a warm shower. I heard myself singing! I sat down in my lounge chair to finish my tea, and realized that I felt good, maybe even exhilarated! I had never been excited by my economics assignments, but this one seems to have affected my mind like an aphrodisiac. It had aroused my mind and filled my heart with love. But more than anything my soul and my spirit had communed with their Creator. I fell into a peaceful sleep.

A churning feeling and growling sound in my stomach woke me up. I recognized it as hunger! I hadn’t had an appetite for several weeks. I went to the kitchen to get myself something to eat, but there was no food in the cabinet or refrigerator. I was staring into the empty refrigerator when the phone rang.

I answered the phone, " Hello. Hi, Kerri, where are you? It was Nick. He continued, I had to eat lunch all by myself today. Are you okay?" Yes, Nick, I believe I am. I fell asleep. I had a most unusual experience this morning! I started to tell him about it, but when I looked at the clock, I realized that my afternoon class would start in about a half an hour. I told him, Nick I’ll stop by this evening, I have to get to my afternoon class. In a pathetic tone he said, Okay, but don’t forget me. I sang out, "I won’t Nick. I love you. Bye." I suddenly realized one of his biggest problems was that he was feeling sorry for himself and he had become self-centered.

Just then the phone rang again. "Hello. Hi Kerri It was Andy. How are you doing?" Hi, Andy The cheerfulness in my voice surprised me. I started to tell him about my experience in the library, but he had noticed the change and said, Woo, I haven’t heard that greeting in a long time. What happened? I exclaimed Andy, I just feel so great, and you won’t believe what happened to me, but if you don’t mind, I’ll come to see you after class and tell you about it. I fell into a sound sleep and I just woke up. I’m hungry, but…there’s nothing here to eat! Andy chimed in, You’re hungry? Well, that’s welcome news to my ears. Don’t forget you always kept a little stash of snacks in your bicycle back pack! I’ll look forward to seeing you, and hearing about this wonderful experience of yours. You sound great. Check and see if there’s anything in the backpack. I’ll wait. I walked over to my back pack and opened it up. I exclaimed, Bingo! Thanks Andy, there’s enough snacks in here to keep me fed for two days. Andy said, You sound great. I asked, Andy how are you feeling? He was surprised that I was again thinking of him and he said, I’m doing okay and it’s good to have you back. I said, I love you and I’ll see you later. Bye. He said, I love you too. Bye. I realized that Nick and I had something in common. I, too, had become self-centered!

I grabbed my umbrella and books and water. I took a snack out and headed out the door. On my way to class, I wondered how I was going to be able to go to the retreat, because, without Andy to drive I had no way of going. Maybe I shouldn’t go. Andy and Nick were both in the hospital. What would these two do without me for a week? Besides, now I have this economics project to do. I can’t take a week off. Suddenly, I began to feel burdened down again. I remember this feeling from my experience as Judas. It’s the feeling of being brought down by negative thoughts. I’m going to change my attitude and see if that makes a difference. I broke open a snack bar, and pretended it was a power bar. I’ll be noble and accept my fate, and if I have to stay here during spring break, then… I’ll do something wonderful for myself.

I got to my class a little ahead of schedule. My professor, Ms. Rhoads, was there and I greeted her with my old chipper greeting, Hey, how’s your day? She noticed the change in me right away and brightened up and asked, You must be looking forward to the break. I haven’t seen you this chipper in quite a while. Do you have special plans? Well, I did, but since Andy’s in the hospital, I probably won’t go. He had scheduled us for a church retreat, but I also have a huge assignment from Economics class. But things always work out for the best. She said, Kerri, that’s a wonderful attitude you have, but I think you need to find a way to go to the retreat. You’ve had a lot on you this past year. Personally, I think you would finish the year easier if you got away for the break. She noticed that I was pensive and she added, That’s just my opinion, of course. I replied, I think you’re right, but…I’m not sure I can make it happen.

My best friend, Kelsie Windsor, came in and I was telling her what happened in the library, but I stopped when the other students came in. I glanced around the room everyone looked like they were low on iron. They were dragging and lifeless. Some students had, apparently, left early and there were only a few of us. Ms. Rhoads went through her class quickly and told us, I want you all to have a restful but fun filled break. I hope to see you all come back rested and ready to finish the year with zest and vigor. I’m not assigning any homework. We have one chapter to finish, and then I will start to prepare you for your tests. Have fun and I’ll see you in two weeks.

This was my last class. I actually had two days extra. Kelsie and I walked out together. Since it was chilly outside, we stopped inside the library, and I finished telling her what had happened. I pointed to the tree that had been hit by lightning. She was amazed, and she looked at her economics assignment and said, "If it’s that important, I’m going to start to work on mine too. She gave me a hug, because she was going home for the two weeks.

I stopped at the gazebo on the way home. I opened my bag and got out a snack and some water. It had stopped raining but it was still cold. I decided to go to see Andy in the hospital, and tell him about the economics assignment. As I sat huddled on the bench, waiting to catch a bus to the hospital I thought, ‘This would be a good time to start my exercises again’ and I decided to walk to the hospital. I went up to my room and got on some warm walking clothes and proper shoes. Then, I took my umbrella and headed out the door.

By the time I made it to the hospital, I was really tired. I didn’t realize I was this out of shape! I sat down in the lobby to rest before I went up. I spoke to several people and some thanked me for being so caring. They had felt my enthusiasm, and apparently latched onto some of it for themselves, but I came away with my ego bolstered and renewed energy.

I got out my mirror, comb, lipstick and perfume and made myself presentable. I headed for the stairwell with the intent of climbing them, but I changed my mind and took the elevator to the sixth floor. I waved to the nurses at the desk and entered Andy’s room.

The therapists were there readjusting the tension on his traction. I felt so sorry for him. He looked at me and a smile came onto his face, Kerri you look radiant. I blushed and said, Thanks Andy. The therapists told him that if he had any discomfort, to call them. They left and he held his arms out to me. I went and snuggled against him and let him hold me. I knew I wouldn’t be able to leave him for five days. I would miss this. I don’t want to be away from him. He didn’t say anything for a while; he just let me relax in his arms. I snuggled closer and enjoyed his loving care.

I sat up and asked how he was doing. He smiled and joked that he felt a little strung out and tense, and sometimes, he felt they were pulling his leg, but, over-all he felt pampered. I laughed.

He changed from talking about himself to me and said, What’s the reason for this glow. A welcome surprise, I might add. I asked, Do you want to know what happened? He asked, Do you want me to guess, or do you just want to tell me without any guessing? I grinned and said, If I gave you all day you would never be able to guess. It’s too amazing. But, try if you want.

Well, let me do some surmising. You had just gotten up from a nap when I called, and you sounded refreshed. You never take a nap so… you must have been bowled over by that awful lightning and that forced you to sleep. My mouth fell open, and I looked at him in amazement. He asked, What? I was right? You were hit by lightning? No, not directly, but how did you come up with that? We both shook our heads. I went and closed his door so we wouldn’t be interrupted. Andy I was standing by the window in the library, depressed and upset and I yelled out, ‘God, where are you?’ Why are you being so quiet?

A bolt of lightning shot through the sky and cracked the tree outside the library window. The thunder was so close and loud, it seemed to shake the building. I told God that if he wanted to get my attention, he was going to have to write it out and hand it to me. As I said that, I moved my hand in such a way, I knocked my notebook out of the window and onto the floor. I glanced down at my economics notebook, and there on the top was my assignment. Andy for my assignment, I’m supposed to list the economic and environmental problems facing America today. I’m to select six, which I consider to be major drains, research them, and write how I would solve each problem.

Andy lay quietly transfixed on my words. He asked, Tell me how the lightning hitting the tree connects to the economics assignment? I continued. After I’d told God he’d have to write it out and hand it to me…there was my economics assignment that said, ‘This is your assignment’. Well, I acted awful Andy. I asked God, ‘Is this your manner of telling me that you want me to save the planet?’ I told him I couldn’t do it… that the name Kerri Webster didn’t hold any power. I told him that I couldn’t even verify that Judas was part of his plan for salvation. I told him I’m only one person, I can’t save a planet. I can’t do it. Andy asked, And what did God say to that?

A chill ran through me and I continued, There was another flash of lightning and loud thunder, my body turned cold and I was trembling all over. Andy’s head was shaking, as if, he could understand that. The lightning was so bright, and my attention was drawn to the tree that had been split by lightning, and I saw that it had been healed. We both got goose bumps. I thought I was mistaken! I wondered, ‘Had the tree really split? He was looking at me in amazement. Andy, the lightning flashed again, and I saw the lightning split the tree again and then, within the same light, I saw it healed again! He looked at me with a look of amazement, but yet, believing every word. Finally, he spoke, When does He want you to start this project?

I looked at him. He looked so serious, that I started to laugh. My laughter turned into a side- splitting laugh that made Andy laugh. He started to laugh so hard that he rolled from side to side, and yelled out in pain. He had two broken knees held in place by traction. That’s not funny, but we laughed all the more. Tears rolled down my face and then I was crying. I hated to cry and this was the second time today. I sat down in a chair by his bed. I looked around for a tissue.

Andy reached for one of the tissues from the box by his bed and yelled in pain. I jumped up. He kept forgetting that he wasn’t supposed to twist or turn. I got myself a tissue. I wiped my eyes and apologized. Andy, I’m so sorry. Are you hurting? He quipped, Yes, I love to laugh until it hurts. I’m enjoying this. I haven’t heard you laugh like this for a long time. I love to hear you laugh. I believe that laughter heals the soul.

I chuckled, It was just the serious look on your face when you asked, ‘When does He want you to start this project?’ It struck me as funny, because you didn’t seem to even question the manner in which I accepted the answer. Kerri, that’s one of the amazing things about you, you don’t seem to understand, that God doesn’t speak to anyone else like he speaks to you. I don’t know another person that God puts into a coma and brings into his personal presence so he can chat with them. I don’t know of another person, that God sent his healing power to by way of lightning, even if it’s to a tree. But I do know this, that if I had been the one that saw the lightning hit the tree, I wouldn’t be standing where you are, I would be starting the project! And do you know what else I believe? I shook my head no and he said, My moneys’ with God. I believe you can save this planet, if you truly believe that’s God’s plan for you."

I was thinking about what he had said, when he interrupted my thought process. He asked, Have you completed your plans for the retreat? I hem-hawed, Well, I’m not going to go! He looked puzzled and asked, Why not? I answered, Because of you and Nick, and… now I have this project to start. I don’t want to be away from you and… not being in classes will give me time to be with you and to work on the assignment. He took a deep breath and said,

Kerri, let’s think this through. This retreat is not a trip to the beach. It’s to allow those who come to draw closer to God. You need to let your mind heal, and not be tending to someone else. It’s a time to do something for you, a time to allow God to do something special for you. I asked, But, what about you and Nick?

Nick and I are both in the hospital, and there’s staff that will come at a push of a button. I will call Nick and talk to him at lunch time. I interjected, I still can’t go. He asked, Why not? I explained, I don’t have any way of getting there. He tried to reach the nightstand drawer and yelled out. I took the nightstand, which had casters and moved it to within arm’s reach. He smiled and said, Thank you. He pointed to the call button and said, Now… I have everything I need! I laughed. He reached into the drawer and pulled out his car keys. Pastor Wilson came by this morning and I told him that, obviously, I would not be going to the retreat, but you would. I want you to go. You need this time to heal

I hesitated and then said, Andy,… he said, Okay… now what’s the real reason you don’t want to go? I felt embarrassment for the first time with Andy. I said It’s because of the Judas thing. He said, I thought so. I added sheepishly, As long as you were going to be with me, I knew it wouldn’t matter if people stared at me. It wouldn’t matter if they whispered that I was a heretic or a lunatic or a fanatic. But I don’t want to face the debate anymore. Andy reached his arms out to me and I went and allowed his arms to surround me. Kerri, God is going to fulfill all that he promised. Pastor Wilson is going to be there and so is his wife. They’re going to help you through this. Come on Kerri, chin up. Put a smile on your face. You are blessed, not just among women, but among all souls! I didn’t say anything. I just wanted to be