Ask the Parrot: A Parker Novel

By Richard Stark and Duane Swierczynski

The coldblooded criminal known as Parker tries, and fails, to stay under the radar in rural New England: “Nobody does the noir thriller better than Stark.” —San Diego Union-Tribune

In Ask the Parrot, the followup to Nobody Runs Forever, ruthless thief Parker is back on the run, dodging dogs, cops, and even a helicopter. His escape brings him to rural Massachusetts, where he is forced to work with a small-town recluse nursing a grudge against the racetrack that fired him. Even in hiding, Parker manages to get up to no good. It’ll be a deadly day at the races . . .

“Richard Stark’s Parker crime novels are the ultimate page-turners.” —Jonathan Ames, The Boston Globe

“Parker is a blunt instrument of a human being.” —John Hodgman, Parade

“Often funny, laced with Stark’s brutally morbid humor . . . fast-moving, tense scenes that drip with potential violence before, inevitably, exploding into actual violence.” —Christopher Bahn, AV Club

• Language: English
• Publisher: Open Road Integrated Media
• Release date: Sep 8, 2017
• ISBN: 9780226485799

Book preview

The University of Chicago Press, Chicago 60637

© 2006 by Donald Westlake

Foreword © 2017 by Duane Swierczynski

All rights reserved

Originally published by Mysterious Press

University of Chicago Press edition 2017

Printed in the United States of America

25 24 23 22 21 20 19 18 17     1 2 3 4 5 6 7

ISBN-13: 978-0-226-48565-2 (paper)

ISBN-13: 978-0-226-48579-9 (e-book)

DOI: 10.7208/chicago/9780226485799.001.0001

Information about Richard Stark books published by the University of Chicago Press—and electronic versions of them—can be found on our website: http://www.press.uchicago.edu/.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Stark, Richard, 1933–2008, author. | Swierczynski, Duane, writer of foreword.

Title: Ask the parrot : a Parker novel / Richard Stark ; with a new foreword by Duane Swierczynski.

Description: University of Chicago Press edition. | Chicago : The University of Chicago Press, 2017. | Originally published: New York : Mysterious Press, 2006.

Identifiers: LCCN 2017012487 | ISBN 9780226485652 (pbk. : alk. paper) | ISBN 9780226485799 (e-book)

Subjects: LCSH: Parker (Fictitious character from Stark)—Fiction. | Criminals—Fiction. | LCGFT: Fiction. | Novels.

Classification: LCC PS3573.E9 A93 2017 | DDC 813/.54—dc23 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017012487

This paper meets the requirements of ANSI/NISO Z39.48-1992 (Permanence of Paper).

ASK THE PARROT

A Parker Novel

RICHARD STARK

With a New Foreword by Duane Swierczynski

THE UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO PRESS

PRAISE FOR ASK THE PARROT AND RICHARD STARK:

"This is classic Richard Stark, the grandmaster of American crime fiction, who brought Parker back to life by popular demand after a 20-year break. Parker, of course, is probably the genre’s most captivating anti-hero. . . . In Ask the Parrot, he’s showing little signs of ageing and neither is Stark’s prose—it’s as lean, hungry and tightly plotted as ever. . . . superior entertainment."—Daily Mirror

[H]ighly entertaining. . . . As with any Parker novel, things go to hell in bits and pieces as the tight-knit plan unravels, while Parker, ever the cold-blooded professional, deals with the pitiful attempts of amateurs and law enforcement alike to bring him down. Why do readers love this heartless bad guy? Because he’s so damn good at what he does.—Publishers Weekly

Stark (perhaps slightly better known as Donald E. Westlake) will paste grins on the faces of readers who dared give the hardcase heist man up for caught. Instead of recapping the botched armored-car job that landed Parker his latest jam, Stark hurtles the calculating criminal off to the races by hooking him up with a horse-track whistleblower out for revenge. As Parker concocts a plan to slip the dragnet and take down a weekend’s worth of busted bets on the way out, he is kept in near-constant motion foiling the greedy, harebrained, and sometimes homicidal locals who come sniffing around.—Booklist

Stark, Donald E. Westlake’s more menacing alter ego, flaunts his usual wizardry. . . . The plot is minimalist, the technique superb.—Kirkus

Nobody does the noir thriller better than Richard Stark. His lean style and hard-edged characters . . . provide a welcome return to the hard-bitten days of yore.—San Diego Union Tribune

Richard Stark (the name that Donald E. Westlake uses when he lets Parker off the leash) writes with ruthless efficiency. His bad guys are polished pros who think hard, move fast and turn on a dime in moments of crisis.—Marilyn Stasio, New York Times Book Review

Elmore Leonard wouldn’t write what he does if Stark hadn’t been there before. And Quentin Tarantino wouldn’t write what he does without Leonard. . . . Old master that he is, Stark does them all one better.—Los Angeles Times

The Parker novels. . . . are among the greatest hard-boiled writing of all time.—Financial Times (London)

His prose is sharp and glinting; he can create a complete sketch of a doomed character in a single page with about as much deftness as any writer I’ve ever seen; and he had an ability to shift tones, dramatic to comedic, from book to book—and even from page to page—that many others, both in and out of the genre, just don’t possess.—Michael Weinreb, Grantland

Westlake’s ability to construct an action story filled with unforeseen twists and quadruple-crosses is unparalleled.—San Francisco Chronicle

Westlake is a master of lean, hardboiled prose and fast-moving, tense scenes that drip with potential violence before, inevitably, exploding into actual violence.—AV Club

FOREWORD

Richard Stark’s final three Parker novels fit together as a kind of miniepic much like Butcher’s Moon, which put a cap on the original run of Parkers back in 1974. They reflect the struggling economy of the early 2000s, a time when it gets harder to find work or trustworthy partners. By this time, some of Parker’s early collaborators have retired, others are dead. He seems to be stuck working with amateurs, both in the ominously titled Nobody Runs Forever and in the book you are holding, with its motley crew of gun-clubbers and small-town eccentrics. In Ask the Parrot, Parker doesn’t say it out loud, but we know he is thinking what he does say aloud in Nobody Runs:

The job works just as good with you dead.

I haven’t been a fan since the beginning. That’s because I hadn’t been born when the series began (with The Hunter, in 1962). I first heard about Parker—and his author, Richard Stark, the mysterious alter ego of Donald E. Westlake—in Stephen King’s afterword for his 1989 novel The Dark Half. Stark sounded like my kind of son of a bitch. But good luck finding any copies in that pre-Internet era. The most recent Parker novel, Butcher’s Moon, had appeared in 1974, when I was two.

Flash forward eight years. I was working at a men’s magazine in New York City, and one day a new Richard Stark novel appeared on the free table (the sad place where promotional copies of new novels came to die). But not this one. Oh no. I snatched up Comeback immediately. Could this be the same Richard Stark who’d written all of those Parker novels I’d never been able to find? Why yes it was. And it was so damned good.

This started a frenzied search for the original run of the Parker novels. On my lunch break, I would hop the subway from Broadway and Lafayette and make my way to the Mysterious Bookshop, then located on West Fifty-Sixth Street. I’d follow the winding iron staircase up to the second floor. Otto Penzler would glare at me, briefly. Then I’d scour the used paperback shelves. My only score was a tattered copy of The Damsel, about Parker’s buddy Alan Grofield. Which was cool, but Grofield is no Parker. Many years later, Otto Penzler would tell me that those same bookshelves I’d been scouring were actually built by Donald Westlake. (That burned ozone odor in the air? That was my mind being blown.)

I haunted the other mystery bookstores, too. Back then, New York was practically teeming with them—Murder Ink on the Upper West Side, Black Orchid on the Upper East, Partners in Crime in the Village. No dice. At least, not in my I work in magazine publishing price range. Happily, along with the new wave of Parker novels, reprints of the old stuff began to appear. Slowly. Oh, so slowly. Payback, Brian Helgeland’s adaptation of The Hunter starring Mel Gibson, appeared just in time for my twenty-seventh birthday. (I know the film is a sore subject with some Parker-heads, but I loved the hell out of Payback—and the director’s cut is even better.)

Then, in April 2001, I received a gift from the gods. I was nosing around a used bookstore on Fairmount Avenue in Philadelphia when I noticed not one or two . . . but a serious pile of Parker novels. Two bucks each! Yeah, they were the slightly cheeseball eighties editions from Avon, but that didn’t change the hard-boiled prose inside. I snapped them all up and felt like I’d pulled off the heist of the century.

By 2002 my Parker mania had reached such a fever pitch that I somehow talked my wife into naming our firstborn child after the character. And around the same time, I started writing my own version of a no-nonsense, stoic thief. My incarnation was a mute Irish getaway driver, but a deep strain of Parker ran through his DNA. (I think every crime writer sooner or later writes his or her own Parker novel; it’s fortunate that Mr. Stark chose not to sue us thieving bastards.) That novel turned out to be The Wheelman, my first crime novel, and the start of a career that changed my life.

Which is why the announcement (back in 2004) of the title of the twenty-second Parker novel filled me with dread. Perhaps nobody runs forever, but I always liked Parker’s chances. My fear was for naught; as it turned out, Parker would return in Ask the Parrot and then his final novel, Dirty Money (2008). Donald Westlake passed away New Year’s Eve that same year, presumably taking Richard Stark along for the ride. Parker, as far as we know, remains at large.

So if this is the first Parker novel you’ve picked up, should you start here? Well, you could, because everything that’s great about the Parker novels is present in both Nobody Runs Forever and Ask the Parrot. Parker is the same consummate professional he’s been since first appearing on the scene back in 1962. How do you make an amoral selfish thug likeable? Richard Stark came up with a brilliant solution: you surround him with people who are even more amoral, even more selfish, and, sometimes, even bigger thugs. The joy of a Parker novel is watching him operate by his strict no-bullshit code—and then watching him adapt and problem-solve as things go haywire (as they inevitably do). Am I crazy for thinking that Parker is a cool father figure? A calm, steady rock of a man you can count on when it feels like the world is quickly devolving into chaos? Sure, he probably wouldn’t do much in the hugs department. But you’d know he’d take good care of the family. And score extra dough on family trips, as needed.

And speaking of all things domestic—I always love Parker’s moments with Claire, long-time paramour. No, they don’t talk much or crack jokes or make kissy-faces at each other. (Nick and Nora Charles, they’re not.) But they sure know how to unwind and unplug. As with so many of our favorite literary characters, we read their adventures because we want to step into their lives for a while. Work hard for a small part of the year, but step back and relax in style the rest of the time. At least, until the bank account starts looking thin.

So sure, you could turn the page and dive right in and see for yourself what all of the fuss is about. But why would you want to pick up Parker’s adventures at the end when you can go back and enjoy the series from the very beginning? All without Otto Penzler glaring at you? If I had access to a time machine in the late nineties, I’d be arriving right . . . about . . . now . . . inside the offices of the University of Chicago Press to scoop up the entire run. So go buy them. Every single one. And savor them. You’ll thank me later.

I had the opportunity to meet Donald Westlake at the Edgar Awards banquet in 2006. Our brief encounter was entirely thanks to writer Sarah Weinman (who has introduced the Grofield novels in this reprint series). What do you say when meeting one of your literary heroes—the man who created a character who changed your life? Well, if you’re me, you freeze up and stammer something incoherent. But if I could do it all over again, I’d hope to squeak out two things. First: If you see Mr. Stark, could you tell him I owe him one?

And: You built some mighty fine bookshelves, Mr. Westlake.

Duane Swierczynski

January 4, 2017

CONTENTS

ONE

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

TWO

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

THREE

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

FOUR

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

ONE

1

When the helicopter swept northward and lifted out of sight over the top of the hill, Parker stepped away from the tree he’d waited beside and continued his climb. Whatever was on the other side of this hill had to be better than the dogs baying down there at the foot of the slope behind him, running around, straining at their leashes, finding his scent, starting up. He couldn’t see the bottom of the hill any more, the police cars congregated around his former Dodge rental in the diner parking lot, but he didn’t need to. The excited yelp of the dogs was enough.

How tall was this hill? Parker wasn’t dressed for uphill hiking, out in the midday October air; his street shoes skidded on leaves, his jacket bunched when he pulled himself up from tree trunk to tree trunk. But he still had to keep ahead of the dogs and hope to find something or somewhere useful when he finally started down the other side.

How much farther to the top? He paused, holding the rough bark of a tree, and looked up, and fifteen feet above him through the scattered thin trunks of this second-growth woods there stood a man. The afternoon sun was to Parker’s left, the sky beyond the man a pale October ash, the man himself only a silhouette. With a rifle.

Not a cop. Not with a group. A man standing, looking down toward Parker, hearing the same hounds Parker heard, holding the rifle easy at a slant across his front, pointed up and to the side. Parker looked down again, chose the next tree trunk, pulled himself up.

It was another three or four minutes before he drew level with the man, who stepped back a pace and said, That’s good. Right there’s good.

I have to keep moving, Parker said, but he stopped, wishing these shoes gave better traction on dead leaves.

The man said, You one of those robbers I’ve been hearing about on the TV? Took all a bank’s money, over in Massachusetts?

Parker said nothing. If the rifle moved, he would have to meet it.

The man watched him, and for a few seconds they only considered one another. The man was about fifty, in a red leather hunting jacket with many pockets, faded blue jeans, and black boots. His eyes were shielded by a billed red and black flannel cap. Beside him on the ground was a gray canvas sack, partly full, with brown leather handles.

Seen up close, there was a tension in the man that seemed to be a part of him, not something caused by running into a fugitive in the woods. His hands were clenched on the rifle, and his eyes were bitter, as though something had harmed him at some point and he was determined not to let it happen again.

Then he shook his head and made a downturned mouth, impatient with the silence. The reason I ask, he said, "when I saw you coming up, and heard the dogs, I thought if you are one of the robbers, I want to talk to you. He shrugged, a pessimist to his boots, and said, If you’re not, you can stay here and pat the dogs."

I don’t have it on me, Parker said.

Surprised, the man said, Well, no, you couldn’t. It was about a truckload of cash, wasn’t it?

Something like that.

The man looked downhill. The dogs couldn’t be seen yet, but they could be heard, increasingly frantic and increasingly excited, held back by their handlers’ lesser agility on the hill. This could be your lucky day, he said, and mine, too. Another sour face. I could use one. Stooping to pick up his canvas sack, he said, "I’m hunting for the pot, that’s what I’m doing. I have a car back here."

Parker followed him the short climb to the crest, where the trees were thinner but within a cluster of them a black Ford SUV was parked on a barely visible dirt road. Old logging road, the man said, and opened the back cargo door of the SUV to put the rifle and sack inside. I’d like it if you’d sit up front.

Sure.

Parker got into the front passenger seat as the man came around the other side to get behind the wheel. The key was already in the ignition. He started the car and drove them at an angle down the wooded north slope, the road usually visible only because it was free of trees.

Driving, eyes on the dirt lane meandering downslope ahead of them, the man said, "I’m Tom Lindahl. You

Reviews for Ask the Parrot

[francesanngray · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

The poor parrot!

[tomdonaghey · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Ask The Parrot (2006) (Parker #27) by Richard Stark. Another in the fun ‘Parker’ series, this follows in the wake of a bank robbery. Parker is literally running from the law when he meets up with a man in the woods. Recognized for what he is, Parker is slightly surprised when the man offers him refuge at his home.The pair escape the police and head to the man’s home where he relates his story to Parker, detailing just why he saved him. Seems the fellow wants some type of revenge on the race track that let him go a few years earlier, destroying his life and marriage. Now, with the help of Parker, he wants to rob the track.As usual this is a fast past, well plotted book. The police are to be avoided but it becomes inevitable that they are involved. There is an attempt at blackmail by a pair of brothers who recognize Parker. and they have to be dealt with in a manner that is fitting. Parker is the competent one in the entire group, quick-witted and, once satisfied with the situation, quick to action.There is a reason this is a long running series. Every book is a satisfying read that will leave you ready for more. Just don’t feel too sorry for that parrot.

[asxz-2 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

The penultimate Parker picks up exactly where the ante-penultimate Parker ended. As usual Parker has to deal with situations not entirely of his making and, as usual, he is able to improvise to turn a buck and save his own skin. Only one more to go and I'll be sorry when it's done.

[bjkelley · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

What can I say about Donald Westlake/Richard Stark that I haven't already said. Everything is great as usual. This was 2nd in the final trilogy of Parker Books. I am looking forward to reading the next one.

[ameise1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This is more of a psychological mystery. After a bank robbery, the three robbers are fleeing. Parker tries his luck in a rural area, but is put by a resident (Tom Lindahl), not by giving Parker to the police or accusing him directly as a bank robber. It is much more a purposeful community. Parker takes part in the search for himself. He can deceive many community members, but not all. Lindahl has not participated in community activities for a long time. He worked until his release on a racecourse. There is every Saturday night, the money stored in the cellar. Since he still has a key to the race track. he has long been fond of making money and starting a new life in another place. Parker was just about to get him going. Parker encourages and supports Lindahl by killing unloved persons.The story is written very subtle.

[davewilde-1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Ask The Parrot is the 23rd novel of the 24 novel strong Parker series by Richard Stark, who is the most well-known of Donald Westlake's psuedonyms. Westlake has over the fifty-plus years he has professionally written assumed seven or more psuedonyms for a variety of reasons, but everyone knows Stark is Westlake and vice versa. Westlake has written over one hundred books.
Parker, who has no first name, is a professional criminal. He robs. He does bank jobs. He does armored car jobs. He is known to be cold and emotionless, but he has his own code which generally means no doublecrossing, splitting the proceeds equally, and not turning on one's allies.

Ask The Parrot is actually part two of a trilogy of novels at the tail end of the Parker series, starting with Nobody Runs Forever and finishing with Dirty Money. Any of these can be read by themselves or in order. One need not even be familiar with the Parker series to enjoy this.

Ask The Parrot begins with Parker on the run through the woods, dogs and local deputies on his trail. "Whatever was on the other side of this hill," he explains as the story opens, "had to be better than the dogs baying down there at the foot of the slope behind him, running around, straining at their leashes, finding his scent, starting up." Parker has $4,000 in his pocket, but its no good because the robbery was botched and his identity ruined. He needs a place to hide, to regroup, to get to safety.
In this small upstate NY town, he tries to blend in as a common person and even joins the posse trying to smoke the robbers out of the woods, but there is something about Parker that just lends itself to trouble and he can't blend in no matter how he tries. Lindahl rescues him, but wants to involve him in a racetrack robbery, a racetrack where Lindahl used to work before he got canned and for which he still has all the keys. No matter what Parker does, crime seems to follow him or somebody recognizes him and wants a cut of the robbery money, which is too hot for Parker to go back for, or someone wants to play hero and reel him in or someone makes a mistake, bringing the interest of the law on Parker.

There is something about the way Westlake writes that is compelling and, once I picked this up, I had to keep reading. The prose is not fancy. There are few memorable phrases. But, it is, like all Parker novels, one great piece of crime fiction and, for anyone who reads crime fiction, this is worth a read.
What is it that makes the Parker novels so compelling for forty-five years? I don' t know that it is the fact Parker is an anti-hero or that he is someone who the reader can identify with. I think it is that Westlake (or Stark if you prefer) has consistently created a character who is believable and who acts as one would expect him to. Parker is no saint. He has no moral compunctions about killing, but he would prefer not to since it brings the law down on one quicker.
All in all, a great read.

[sarahebear · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

A twist on the standard thriller in that the protagonist is an anti-hero. Parker, a professional thief and career criminal, in on the lam following a failed bank heist. Stuck in an isolated rural community, Parker is taken in by a local recluse, in exchange for his help in robbing the local racetrack. Everything goes pear-shaped and Parker needs to rely on his criminal expertise to get a handle on the situation. An entertaining read, with punchy, short chapters good for those with little reading time on their hands. This is number 23 in the series written by Richard Stark/Donald Westlake.

[gilroy_1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I don't have a lot I'd label as a read once and get rid of it, but I think this one qualifies. Since this is the first I've read in this series and this is book 23 in that series, the characterization leaves a little to be desired, but not having read the earlier books isn't throwing me off any. You know enough to know what's going on. I can see the story line now without having to backtrack. This I like.This is a quick read. I'd call this a beach read because it goes so simply. No real stress to reading it. Very few necessary mental gymnastics required. Sometimes hard to follow the description of the places, but one is a maze.For the first two thirds of this book, it sticks pretty solidly in Parker's POV. Then suddenly, the author is bouncing among character POV for about a third of the book. This means what's happening with the primary plot has suddenly disappeared, because many of the characters touched are periphery characters that have very little connection to the main plot thread. I think this was done to tie up loose ends. Not 100% necessary, but makes sense. Decent ending, maybe not as expected, but decent. Some action and tension, but it diffuses quickly because the main character knows what he's doing. For a disreputable type, Parker has a good honor code and a sense of what to do. He's the bad side of characters I wouldn't mind writing myself. Decent enough, but as I said, a read and discard type book.

[ecw0647 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Listened to the audio. Typical Richard Stark, aka Donald Westlake, but if you don't care for amoral heroes, you won't like Parker. Parker is the ultimate narcissist who sees the world only as how any action will affect him. If that means shooting someone who gets in the way, so be it. Nary a sign of remorse. This one gets complicated, a heist within a heist, while Parker is being pursued by the police from all over because of a botched bank robbery. Really good escapist reading.

[bohemiangirl35 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Picked this one up because of the title. It was very short, only 5 disks, but was funny and moved at a good pace. Didn't realize it was part of a series until I read the other reviews.Parker and two other guys rob a bank but the escape goes awry when the police respond quickly with everything they have. As he's running through the woods in his dress shoes with dogs close behind, a local man rescues him. Lindhal is an angry man who has been stewing in bitterness since he was fired from his job at the racetrack for blowing the whistle on a money laundering scheme. He impulsively rescues Parker after watching live coverage of the robbery and manhunt. His plan is to get Parker's help to rob the racetrack. But his fantasy doesn't take into account whether he can control a master thief.William Dufris does an excellent narration.

[theoclarke · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

An embittered recluse rescues Parker from the posse that is chasing him after the failed bank robbery in Nobody Runs Forever. Parker's rescuer wants his professional help to rob the racetrack that fired him for whistleblowing about money laundering. The carefully laid plan comes unglued and Parker brings his talents to bear on handling his amateur accomplice and the local law. His total amorality remains fascinating and even after 23 novels I identify more strongly with the people he meets than I do with Stark/Westlake's brutally clever antihero.

[wfzimmerman · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Slightly-better-than-average installment in Westlake's deservedly popular series about his "hardcase" criminal hero, Parker.