Good News, Bad News, Who Can Tell?: The Pandemic Reveals Wisdom

By Don Worth Ph.D.

The title of this book comes from an ancient parable about a farmer who, when greeted with fortune or misfortune has the same retort: “Good news, bad news, who can tell?” The parable provides some simple wisdom in approaching turbulence and catastrophe in life, such as living through a pandemic.
This book offers a variety of touching stories, lyrics, and poems written by people who represent nine categories of those on the frontlines of the pandemic (educators, COVID survivors, artists, clergy, those who lost loved ones, students, physicians, restauranteurs, and journalists) from the U.S. and India, regarding experiences, lessons and wisdom they acquired.
A novel interpretation of the parable is presented as well as a framing (a figure 8) that provides some perspective and guidance as we move through the various trials and tribulations of life, and through challenges of mental illness and substance use.
There is also a chapter “signs of the times” which showcases a variety of creative and amusing signs that were all around us during the pandemic. Even some clever bathroom signs.
The summary outlines lessons learned and wisdom gained by the editor from struggling through the pandemic in rural West Virginia, as a psychotherapist on the frontlines, and from reading the heartfelt stories and poems in the book.
And perhaps the most interesting feature of the book is the last chapter, an opportunity to reflect and write your own lessons, story, poem, and space for your photos to add to the documentation of this experience called “the pandemic.”

• Language: English
• Publisher: Archway Publishing
• Release date: Nov 6, 2022
• ISBN: 9781665730723

Don Worth Ph.D.

During over 35 years as a psychologist and psychotherapist in rural West Virginia, Dr. Worth has been on the frontlines helping families during the ADHD wave, the opioid crisis, and now the pandemic. He developed an in-school mindfulness meditation program for ADHD, wrote a self-help recovery guide, and now has edited an anthology documenting the human experience of the pandemic.

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Copyright © 2022 Don Worth, Ph.D.

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This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

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Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®.

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Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide.

ISBN: 978-1-6657-3071-6 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6657-3070-9 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-6657-3072-3 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2022917685

Archway Publishing rev. date: 11/02/2022

Dedication

This book is dedicated to all those who died of COVID, were afflicted by the virus and to those who lost loved ones during this pandemic, for it was your pain and all of your suffering that provided the forge for the wisdom found in this book, and the impetus for this project; to give your lives meaning in our lives. And to us survivors. We have all been changed, affected, moved and have grown from experiencing living in these times. And to my patients who have taught me so much about what it’s like to be human, and who help me see daily the strength, resilience and remarkable fortitude of the human spirit. May the stories, lyrics, poems and experiences shared here provide solace, a guide for future struggles and provide inspiration and wisdom to facilitate our collective wellness, recovery, and growth.

Contents

Dedication

Introduction

The Parable

Interpretations

Book Outline

Chapter 1: Artists

Manohar Shetty

• Lockdown Song

• The New Untouchables

• Corona Sonnets

• Quarantine Blues

• Haute Couture

• Slow Motion

• Corona Manual

• Games

• Who’s Next?

• Contact

Walter Finley

• Go Jump in a Lake and Other Lessons

of the Pandemic

Chapter 2: Lost Loved Ones

Jessie Meisling

• Before

• Before’s Creation: My Personal Experience

Sarabjeet Garcha

• With the Mask On

• Four Poems

– Not a Thing

– Tailor/Bird

– Lamp

– Outsilvered

Chapter 3: Covid-19 Survivors

Smita Agarwal, Ph.D.

• Revenant

• Virus

Kenneth Michael Langston

• ‘You Just Never Know…’

Chapter 4: Clergy

Jeff Hanlin

• Unanticipated Blessings

Andy Fraenkel

• Living In The Kali-Yuga

Chapter 5: Educators

Anjali Monteiro and K.P. Jayasankar

• Learning and Unlearning Through the Pandemic

Morgan Gulley

• Alright Y’all, Be Safe and Be Good People Lessons of an Educator

Chapter 6: Students

Summer Aguiar

• College Daze

Suhani Malhotra

• Lessons Learned In Covid Times

Chapter 7: Journalists

Nabina Das

• Zen and the Art of Share-Auto Rides: Pandemic Notes

M. Lee Roy Harvey

• The Life You’ve Been Gifted

Chapter 8: Physicians

Bruce A. Gorby, M.D.

• Group Therapy

Ayush Sharma, M.D

• Looking Beyond Those Rose-Tinted Glasses

Chapter 9: Restauranteurs

Margarida Tavore e Costa

• The Good and the Bad

Costanza Iaquinta

• 2020-22: The Pandemic and My Life Changing Experiences

Chapter 10: Signs Of The Times

Chapter 11: Epilogue

• Good News, Bad News, Who Can Tell?

• Acknowledgments

Chapter 12: Your Lessons

Introduction

My wife, Neelam, and I began 2019 in the Bahamas, bringing in the new year with a friend we had made there, at her church, an old Anglican church, and we returned to the Bahamas to celebrate my sixtieth birthday on their Independence Day in July, the same day as my birthday. We went on that year to see the Grand Canyon and the red canyons of Sedona in Arizona, then on to Doha, Qatar and to Goa, India to celebrate Christmas. We brought 2020 in by attending service in an old church in Goa, India, a tropical paradise with the carnival atmosphere of its Portuguese roots. Landing in the US in mid-January we heard rumblings of a virus spreading, but way over in China, not here.

In March of 2020, we were shocked by the viral nature and the mystery of this Novel Corona Virus and how it seemed to be all around us, in the air we breathed, on everything we touched. Before there was a vaccine, when we believed it would be years down the road before scientists could produce one, one of our only defenses against this mysterious virus was the stay-at-home order, which began to be decreed all around us. No matter the sacrifice or diligence, people were dying and getting sick at alarming rates. But we hunkered down and stayed to ourselves, for weeks, for months, played and ate with each other in our homes, waiting and wondering what was next. Clearly bad news, bad times.

During this early part of the pandemic and our statewide shutdown order, our counseling center stayed open, offering telehealth sessions, as well as maintaining the option to be seen face-to-face (following strict protocols such as waiting in your vehicle and phoning in when you arrive, waiting to be called and invited in, protective facial gear was mandatory for staff and patients, and they went directly to their clinician’s office, which was sprayed with disinfectant after each patient, etc.). We had one of our child psychologists, who is handy with a sewing machine, make facial protective gear for all the staff, and we provided individually wrapped facial coverings for those who didn’t have one.

During this period, several of my patients, overall, were getting better. How strange. Whether they were dealing with depression, anxiety, Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, or even substance use issues, their symptoms of illness were reducing. Now, not every one of my patients got better, indeed some suffered more, especially when there was existing domestic violence, chronic isolation or lack of technology.

I began to reflect on, and asked several of my patients to reflect on, contributing factors or behaviors that could be identified. Irrespective of the illness or symptoms, many of the practices were similar: families playing board games and doing puzzles together; families working concertedly on home or landscape projects; families preparing, eating, and cleaning-up after meals together, some learning to cook for the first time, and delighting in the novelty; fathers, parents were more involved in their children’s education given that many parents were working from home and children were doing tele-education; families were spending more time interacting with and getting to know each other; couples holding hands and strolling around their yard; and one family, usually busy and stressed with dance classes for each of the children during the work week, began having the children give their parents dance lessons at home!

Folks living alone were learning to use the internet and social media or reading religious texts, praying more, or looking into the proverbial abyss and finding character and resources developed no other way; neighbors were intermingling and getting to know each other or checking in and offering assistance or simply a kind word (from six feet/ two meters or further); and folks rising to help complete strangers with such tender mercy it brings tears to my eyes literally. No wonder they were getting better when the world was getting sicker.

While certainly heartened by their recovery, when the vaccine arrived, we all expected good news was here to stay. Hallelujah! Great news, right? Nope, the controversies grew, as did the politics of mask wearing, of getting vaccinated, and of the loss of freedom and rights. The good news was not so good. Mandates, closures, essential-workers-only, proof of vaccination status etc. all followed. Then another wave and more closures, virtual schooling, work-from-home, and more uncertainty.

Then it’s suddenly all better. Must be. You look around and see maskless people, crowds again, traffic, shops, restaurants and sport facilities open and we rejoice at the activity. Yet, at the same time we feel the dissonance of conflicting information about a new variety, that’s even more contagious, and of rising rates of COVID-19. When the shutdown orders were finally lifted, folks began to slide right back into doing more than being, a return to atomization with each one doing their own thing in close proximity, commuting and traveling to/from work and school, families eating on the run and separately, and my patients not only returned to pre-pandemic levels of illness but many were worse off.

Whew, so what have been the effects of all of this on all of us? Clearly the pandemic and all of the agony left as its calling card is bad news, right? Over one million men, women, and children, aunts, neighbors, firefighters, grandparents, nurses, bartenders, have died in the United States alone, over six and a half million people have died worldwide. Their lives were ended by a Corona Virus that ripped across the world at lightning speed, leaving pain, loss, and suffering for all. I lost two of my patients to the COVID virus early in the pandemic having never experienced the loss of a patient on my watch in over 35 years of practice. Andy, who upon entering a new facility for physical rehabilitation and undergoing the required period of isolation in the facility contracted the virus and quickly succumbed to its effects; and Jerry, a fit, middle-aged man who was not vaccinated when the vaccine became available, contracted what he thought was a cold, and when the symptoms quickly worsened, went to the emergency room of the local hospital, where he was isolated, one loved one every three days could visit, and he, too, quickly lost his fight against the virus.

Our minds stress over these realities as we are constantly bombarded with bad news. Psychologists use an instrument ACES (Aversive Childhood Events Scale) to measure level and quality of aversive events in childhood as a method to identify how affected or traumatized a child is. I imagine that most children living through the pandemic, will have high ACES scores now. This speaks to the level of trauma that we all likely experienced, and by which we are still affected. The U.S. Census Bureau found 42% of those surveyed in December 2020, reported having symptoms of depression and anxiety. Many of the illnesses and symptoms my patients experience now were exacerbated or even caused by a world enveloped in fear, uncertainty, despair and death.

So, which is it, good news or bad news?

I think it was Nietchze who wrote of the idea that with hope comes despair; so even hope has a bad side. Our mind is regularly judging events as good or bad, and our emotional world is constantly reacting to this ever vacillating reality. No wonder we are sick and so stressed. Nietchze’s solution was Amor Fati- love one’s fate. Hope for what is in the present, leaving no room for despair, as there is no separation between what is hoped for and the present reality.

Buddhists offer another remedy in the parable "Good news, bad news, who can tell?

The Parable

There once were a farmer and his son who had a flourishing and prosperous farm. One day their only work horse ran off. The villagers came to commiserate with them saying So sorry to hear of the bad news; your horse ran away and you have no horse to work the farm. The farmer replied: Good news, bad news, who can tell?

The next day, their horse returned bringing seven wild horses with him. The villagers came to celebrate saying: We are so happy to hear of your good news, you have a prosperous horse farm now. And again, the farmer replied: Good news, bad news, who can tell?

While training the horses, the son fell and broke his leg and was no longer able to help his old father with the farm. The villagers, hearing the bad news came to the farmer to share their condolences. So sorry to hear your son broke his leg and you have no help with the farm. But the farmer again reminded them: Good news, bad news, who can tell?

One week later, a general was passing through the village selecting men for war, and he passed over the farmer’s son because he had a broken leg. The villagers, envious that their sons went to war and possible death but the farmer’s son was spared, pointed out the farmer’s apparent good news, but the farmer reminded them: Good news, bad news, who can tell?

Interpretations

In the story, the villagers do what our mind does, automatically judging each event as good or bad, and then our emotions follow suit with this reality. The resolution proffered in the story seems to be that it is neither and both, two sides to the same coin and therefore, a superfluous distinction. It is what it is, without judgment or distinction.

Alan Watts interpreted the parable this way: The whole process of nature is an integrated process of immense complexity, and it’s really impossible to tell whether anything that happens in it is good or bad- because you never know what will be the consequence of the misfortune; or, you never know what will be the consequences of good fortune. (Alan Watts: Being in the Way courtesy of The Alan Watts Organization)

We could also simply focus on the good news aspects of the pandemic. But remember Nietche’s warning regarding getting your hopes up. Or, like the farmer, we can view what is, without the ups and downs attached to viewing as good or bad.

This nonjudgmental observer perspective liberates us from the emotional volatility and offers an opportunity to reflect on lessons learned. Another Buddhist saying is: People and events come to us as lessons or as blessings. In this way we can glean the wisdom from life experiences and be more richly involved in the present, versus reacting to avoid the pain and to pursue the good news of life.

A more linear view would be of a roller-coaster ride, rolling up when life is good only to then return to a downward spiral when life is inevitably bad again; what comes up must come down. From this perspective, our ups are experienced with caution knowing a fall is near, and we feel out of control on a never-ending rollercoaster ride. Seems very depressing and worrisome.

The interpretation of the parable I share here is wisdom revealed by the pandemic, a manifestation of the experiences of a therapist who has helped people facilitate change in their lives and adapt to life’s circumstances and the limits of this human condition for over 35 years, going through the pandemic with open eyes and ears, combined with the experiences of so many I had the privilege to know through these times.

I see the bad news in life as the bottom of a figure 8, and when we are in the bottom, it is the torment, frustration, struggle and pain we experience that drives us to act, attempt, strategize, pray, or turn to a friend, which propels us up to the top part of the 8, the good news. Here we feel joy, relief, happiness, we are considerate of others, we are motivated and curious, then some negative event occurs or we get complacent with our efforts and contributions to wellness and begin sliding down to the bottom of the 8 again. In this framing the bad news is essential to propelling us to the good news, and wellness; and there is an ongoing movement between the bottom and top of the 8. Bad news and good news are in an essential relationship with each other. It is getting stuck at the bottom of the 8, experiencing only the bad news (a quirk of the human condition) that we are stuck in illness, anxiety, depression, and despair.

Another feature of this framing of the parable is that the movement between the top and bottom of the 8 is what moves us slowly forward; growth if you will. Let me explain. When I was working on a rowing merit badge at Boy Scout camp, we would stand at the back of the row boat and move the oar in a sideways figure 8, a technique they called feathering. As one feathers with one oar, the boat moves forward slowly.

In my experience, when we go through seemingly terrible, hurtful circumstances we are forced to reach deep inside ourselves or out to others, which reveal resources we didn’t know existed. We grow. We are strengthened and forged. And this growth, like a tree’s growth, doesn’t then shrink, but continues to grow.

In the movie Wall Street (1987), the character Bud Fox, a