SPLITBACK: An Accidental Drive into the Past

By Jonathan Sherr

In 2022, Andrew Foster is a long-tenured News Director for a local television station. After an exhaustive search, Andrew purchased his lifelong dream car. The car is a 1963 Corvette C2 Coupe with a highly desired split-back rear window. Unknown to Andrew and the rest of the world, this car had future tec

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jonathan Sherr
• Release date: Nov 4, 2022
• ISBN: 9781088026359

Book preview

SPLITBACK

An Accidental Drive into the Past

Jonathan Sherr

Copyright © 2023 Jonathan Sherr

All rights reserved. No part of this novel may be reproduced by any means without the written permission of the author, with the exception of short passages used in critical reviews.

This novel is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual places, events or people living or dead is entirely coincidental or is used fictitiously.

To picture a pulsar, imagine the mass of the sun packed into a ball the size of Manhattan. If that’s hard to do, then maybe it’s easier if you imagine stuffing about a hundred million elephants into a Chapstick casing. To reach this density, you must compress all the empty space that atoms enjoy around their nucleus and among their orbiting electrons. Doing so will crush nearly all (negatively charged) electrons into (positively charged) protons, creating a ball of (neutrally charged) neutrons with a crazy-high surface gravity.

Neil deGrasse Tyson, Astrophysics for People in a Hurry

Prologue

St. Louis Post Dispatch November 12, 1963

Was it a plot or just a strange coincidence? On Tuesday, November 6, at approximately 3:15 AM, a person who did not belong at General Motors’ St. Louis railway yard was confronted by the guard dog that was patrolling the premises. The dog let out a single warning bark to inform the night watchman of potential trouble. The intruder was seen bending down next to one of the newly manufactured Chevrolet Corvettes. This car was staged for rail transport departing later that morning. The railyard watchman, who was about 50 yards away, reported a brief struggle between the guard dog and the intruder. As the watchman approached the scene, he claimed he saw a rapid burst of light. He described the light as highly unusual, being bright as a lightning bolt and in the shape of a cylinder. The light appeared to encase the intruder. When he arrived just a few seconds after the light flashed, the intruder was not anywhere to be found. The guard dog was still staring confusedly at where the man was last spotted. The only reported distinct features of the intruder were that he was a tall male dressed all in black. He was wearing what appeared to be a backpack.

After a 3-hour delay from the original schedule, all the new Chevrolet cars at the railway yard were loaded onto the rail carrier. The cars were all destined to select Texas GM dealers. Just under seven hours into the trip, the Union Pacific train carrying the cars partially derailed just outside of Lewisville, Arkansas. All forty of the brand new, fully redesigned 1963 Corvettes that were being carried on the train were considered a loss. The Union Pacific train engineer, Mr. Emeryk Jarczynski, claims he overly applied the brakes heading into the crossing at Highway 82. He admitted to trying to make up time for the delay by speeding up the train. Mr. Jarczynski further added that the sun played tricks on his eyes when approaching the junction. He has been placed on leave until further notice.

Mr. Merrill Prater, Plant Manager for GM’s St. Louis plant, provided the following statement to the Post-Dispatch: Our assessment is that a very fit man climbed the 12’ perimeter fence looking for something to steal and was most likely carrying a high power camping light in his backpack. The intruder was startled by the guard dog and appeared to have used his bright light as a distraction to escape. The St. Louis rail staging yard was Max’s, the guard dog, 2nd night on the job. If the intruder had cased out the yard at an earlier date, he would not have known that a guard dog was now on patrol. No items were missing or damaged. All of the vehicles staged in the railyard again cleared the final shipping inspection. GM finds this trespassing incident not related to the unfortunate train accident and has filed an insurance claim. Our full apologies to those who ordered the lost Corvettes. General Motors will get your new vehicles as originally ordered to you as soon as possible.

As the insurer to General Motors, Lloyd’s of London currently has impounded the vehicles until all related investigations are closed out.  No further comments were given….

Table of Contents

Part 1 Accidental Tourist

Chapter 1 Workin’ For A Living

Chapter 2 Waiting for a Girl Like You

Chapter 3 Drive My Car

Chapter 4 Doctor My Eyes

Chapter 5 Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?

Chapter 6 Secret Agent Man

Chapter 7 Who Are You?

Chapter 8 Watching The Detectives

Chapter 9 She’s A Beauty

Chapter 10 Blinded Me with Science

Chapter 11 Downtown

Part 2 Geminga

Chapter 12 Hello It’s Me

Chapter 13 Space Truckin’

Chapter 14 Time After Time

Chapter 15 Are You Gonna Go My Way

Chapter 16 Telephone Line

Chapter 17 Tonight’s the Night

Chapter 18 Band On the Run

Chapter 19 Who Says You Can’t Go Home?

Epilogue

Part 1

Accidental Tourist

Chapter 1

Workin’ For A Living

I awoke this morning with a rush of excitement. Once I complete the daily grind at work today, my new beauty was set to arrive late this evening. The anticipation of laying my eyes on her tonight was hard to shake. After completing my typical morning routine, it is time to head to work. I have been the News Director at WTVT Channel 13 in Tampa for the past 15 years.

Driving across the causeway to Tampa, it was another gorgeous April day. Sunny and a crisp 65 degrees. The water across the bay today was perfectly flat. The pelicans and gulls were enjoying the cooler temperatures. Along the paved path next to the road were hundreds of people walking, running, or riding their bikes. As normally the case, my Zen moment was interrupted by my phone ringing. It was Ken Miller, our Assistant News Director.

I answered, Good Morning Ken. What’s up?

Andrew, just wanted to give you a heads-up before you arrive at the office. The transmitter in the satellite truck went down. I had to hire a vendor truck to cover the governor’s press conference today.

Ken, I know you want to say you told me so. When I get a chance, l will ask the GM once again for some budget reallocation so we can hopefully order a new sat truck.

Thanks boss. We really do need it. Ours is way past its life span.

That’s for sure. Ken, did the overnight ratings come in yet?

Yes sir, we smoked everybody! Ken said this with much pride.

That’s great to hear! I will see you soon.

Traffic to Tampa across Tampa Bay from the Pinellas County side during morning rush hour is horrendous. My 16-mile commute takes almost an hour. Along the way, I handled a few more calls to discuss some new advertisers, and recent gossip heard about our competitors.

Upon arrival, I parked my bright white Audi SUV and entered the building. Betty, our long-time receptionist, as always, was there to greet me upon arrival.

Good Morning Mr. Foster! she said with the friendliest voice you will ever hear.

Hi Betty, good morning to you! How are you today? Betty has been dealing with some recent health issues.

I am doing really good today, thanks for asking. Andrew, I bet you are just so excited for tonight!

I sure am Betty!

I wished her a great day. She proceeded to buzz me in through the door that leads to the offices.

As I do each day when I arrive at my office, as I guess most people do, I sit back and pour myself a strong cup of coffee. Our main focus is on local news. However, we are owned by a giant broadcasting network based in New York City. While they mostly leave us to cover the local news as we best see fit, they sometimes overly push their agenda. Today is one of those days. Within ten minutes of settling in, our Executive News Producer, Beth Cole was in my office.

Andrew, New York wants us to lead tonight with coverage of a political rally in Texas. She said this with much contempt.

Beth, let me look into this. I also prefer we steer clear of this, it won’t be an easy task, though.

After calming Beth down, I went back to enjoying my coffee and perusing today’s national newswire stories. These news wire services come from the AP (Associated Press), UPI (United Press International), and Reuters. While reviewing the wire stories, I also am listening in on what my local and our national network competitors are broadcasting. Each time my ex-wife visited me at the station, she would make fun of me for getting paid to watch six televisions at once. At least she had one good trait, she could be occasionally humorous at times.

Today’s newswire reads a lot like yesterday’s and the days before. While some stories have legs for multiple news cycles, viewers typically get tired of rehashed news. We are always on the lookout for a fresh story to cover. Some of the top national stories of today include:

Dateline April 20, 2022- On the 37th day of Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, President Biden increased the sanctions on Putin….

The latest strain of Covid BA.2 could affect the unvaccinated….

The Academy of Motion Pictures Arts & Sciences has initiated additional disciplinary actions against Will Smith to ban him from ….

Supreme Court Nominee Ketanji Brown Jackson Clears Senate Committee…..

Scientists warn the UN that the Earth’s fresh water supply will not be able to sustain future population growth. Satellites over a 14-year period discovered 19 hotspots around the world where water resources are being rapidly depleted, with potentially disastrous results. They include areas of California, north-western China, northern….

Alabama female corrections officer prison falls in love with an inmate and helps him escape….

Typically, I will review the top 50 stories or so that are coming across the wire, go relieve some coffee, then get down to business.

We produce three daily newscasts; my main focus is our one-hour long 10:00 PM flagship broadcast. Television News is perceived as a public service but don’t be fooled, we are a business that still must make money. The higher our ratings, the more we can charge for advertising.

My continued employment is primarily based on our market share. The Nielson Company collects data to measure the viewers tuned in to our program compared to the other local news stations. Other factors I get somewhat evaluated on include the quality of our news product, adhering to the budget, and overall team member morale. Again though, the bottom line always comes first. The pressure put on me from ownership to be the number-one rated news program in the Tampa Bay market is ever-present. I can take it, it is well worth it.

In the television news business, they say old News Directors don’t die; they just go to another market. The goal for most News Directors and pretty much all television news positions is to go to a larger DMA (Designated Market Area, aka television market), not a lesser one. That is unless you don’t care how fat your paycheck is! If you get hired in NYC, you have reached the pinnacle for local television markets. If you find yourself in Kalamazoo, things are not going well for you, unless you are a 21-year-old just starting out. Nothing against Kalamazoo, it is just one of the smallest viewed DMA’s, just barely cracking the top 160 broadcast markets. The Tampa Bay area is the nation’s 11th-largest television market. Factor in the great weather, beaches everywhere, no state income tax, multiple pro sports teams along with the Tampa Bay area being where I spent most of my childhood, there is no market I would rather work in. I am highly motivated to keep our number-1 market share so I can stay here in the bay area. In fact, WTVT has been the bay area ratings leader since the early 1960’s. It’s an unprecedented run.

After digesting the information read on the news wire, it’s off to meet with our many talented news producers. They will come armed with their own agenda. It is all in earnest though to make our product the best there is. First up on the docket is for us to agree on which of the national news stories we will cover.

After already contacting the network honcho, I had some good news for Beth. I let her know that we could push the rally coverage into the second half of the program. She was quite happy. We settled in our national coverage and moved to our local coverage options.

Some of today’s suggestions for our state and local news coverage include:

The fight between Disney and Florida’s Governor Ron DeSantis heated up even more over....

Hawthorne Manor, A St. Petersburg downtown condo, was deemed unsafe today. The residents will now have to find new homes until the building can pass the required codes, State Building Inspector Fred Hawthorne added ……

Family and friends are visibly upset over the lack of progress on the 14-year-old Polk County teen that went missing 3 days ago under suspicious circumstances……

NASA’s Artemis I mega moon rocket test was delayed for the second time due to unusual energy bursts. The source is believed come from a distant pulsar star. The star is generating a first-time ever detected electromagnetic gamma burst in our solar system, as reported from the Int’l Space Station. Prior to this, it was only theorized that pulsar or neutron stars …..

The Tampa Bay Rays continue to demand a new stadium or they will be forced to move according to owner Stuart …..

A set of proposed updates to Florida’s statewide gator hunting season have been approved by the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. Starting this month, daily hunting has been expanded by seven hours, and new types of weapons and ammo are allowed for bringing in…..

After all the news coverage is decided upon, we go over the weather and sports segments. The weather is our main source to attract views. We spread out the weather reports over the entire show. Our sports reporting is almost strictly focused on our local pro teams and high school events. Almost no one tunes in to the local news anymore for sports information.

The balance of the day, I attend multiple meetings including finance, sales, and HR. Our sales manager, David King, is your stereotypical sales guy. Today he is boasting that our Year on Year sales figures are only down 15%. These are strange times we live in. Between 1962 and up to about 2005, almost 40% of all the homes in the Tampa area watched our news program. Now we are considered to be highly successful if we have just 10% of the homes tuned in. Amid all the cable and streaming options, television news is going the way of the daily paper. Local news is destined for extinction. As long as we stay number one in the ratings, we don’t get too down about the inevitable.

As I was returning to my office, I heard a short, loud, terrifying scream coming from the studio. By the time I arrived on the scene, there was a large gathering of staff members laughing their asses off. I asked, What did I miss?

We pulled a good one on Terrance. Lauren Craig, our 10:00 News Anchor, said to me with a sheepish grin.

Were you in on this one Lauren? I inquired but already knew the answer.

Well, I had lots of help. Joe Tanner from engineering deserves the credit. During a promo taping, he guided a remote-controlled rat up Terrance’s leg. It was priceless to see Terrance scream like a little girl! Lauren said all this very proudly.

You guys got me good, said Terrance, our 6:00 Sports Anchor. He took it well. Although he followed up with, Payback will be coming when you least expect it!

All in all, we have a great team that works very diligently. We are for sure a well-oiled machine. Our ratings domination proves this. Nevertheless, when the opportunity arises, the team loves to pull practical jokes on each other. I have been the target a few times in the past. You never see it coming. They can be creative when pulling these off. Fortunately, the team always knows when to revert back into their professional mode.

Time has fortuitously passed quickly today. I typically try to leave work by 8:00 PM and will watch our 10:00 PM broadcast from the comfort of my couch. Tonight, as I have made other exciting plans, I will for sure just be recording the broadcast on my DVR to watch later. On the way out of the building, I was stopped a few times. It seems everyone knew I was highly enthusiastic about tonight.

They were correct. I am highly eager and cannot wait to get home and prepare for this long-awaited first encounter. The waiting was just about to get over!

Chapter 2

Waiting for a Girl Like You

Traffic was very sparse. I arrived home around 8:30 PM. I quickly changed into a comfortable pair of jeans and a pullover long-sleeve thermal t-shirt as it was a