Red hands

By JT Pasma

Amber's way of living changes drastically when memories of a past life as a medieval mercenary suddenly unfold. However, it doesn't stop at memories alone...

Her rugged alter ego with his life of freedom and fighting comes back in full force and turns everything upside down. Switching from her current insecure self to the wild

• Language: English
• Publisher: Writing Warriors Publishing
• Release date: Oct 22, 2022
• ISBN: 9789082312096

JT Pasma

JT (JelleTas) Pasma is born in the year of Woodstock. Writing Warrior and duopersonality. Lover of woods, fire and Scottish whisky. Adventurer of The Big Adventure of Lifetimes.

Book preview

Red hands

JT Pasma

Red hands

Reincarnation novel and historical adventure

Part 1 of the Red trilogy

Groepeer Rechthoek Afbeelding

Writing Warriors Publishing

Copyright © 2022 JT Pasma

First print January 2015

English translation October 2022

Cover design: Studio Rodenhuis

Portrait photo back cover: Lieke Zengerink

Cover photo: Dunca Daniel

Paperback ISBN 978-90-832482-0-2

Ebook ISBN 978-90-823120-9-6

BISAC: FIC014020, FIC009030, FIC068000

Coming soon:

Red threads, part 2 of the Red trilogy

Red Blood, part 3 of the Red Trilogy

www. jelletas.com

For Renilde

Beyond death and back again

Eternity is not enough

Prologue

Slowly his consciousness brings him back, like a boat gently docking on the shore. With a slight jolt, the ship of his subconscious collides with the solid land of his physical body. The echoes of the screams still resonate in his ears and fade slowly, giving way to birdsong.

He stretches his muscles and enjoys the feeling of blood and strength flowing back into his arms and legs. Relieved, he shakes the memories of the dreams from his mind. Another night survived. He stretches his arms above his head, feeling the bulk of his broad shoulders, the space in his chest and the freedom in his body as only a man can experience.

1

Today she will infuse her life with love and light, or at least somewhat moisten it. Amber breathes deeply as the gentle voice on the CD instructs. In... and out... The ethereal music ripples around her like the surf, and she tries to let herself sink deeper and deeper in the water. She suppresses a slight irritation, straightens her back with determination; vertebra on vertebra, chin slightly downwards, crown towards the Universe, and follows the soothing voice that invites her to plunge confidently into the abyss of her unconsciousness. She can do it, she is sure of it. Determined, she ignores the pain in her left leg and the fact that she doesn’t feel her right leg at all anymore, and breathes enthusiastically to her belly.

A synth sound joins the surf. She sighs. Her right sock itches. Still some feeling there apparently. She should buy new ones at the market. They sell socks with at least eighty percent cotton, Josh likes to wear those. Actually she would prefer socks made of organic cotton, but she is not sure if they sell those. She will ask next time. Wasn’t there a stall with olives next to the sock seller? Perhaps it would be nice to get some on Saturday.

Shit. Focus. To her belly. In... and out...

She has to move a little. She’ll never last like this. The waves come and go. It is kind of relaxing. She searches her body. Is she getting lighter already? Anywhere? Strange, getting lighter and sinking deeper at the same time. Apparently the laws of gravity have nothing to say about the realm of consciousness. She chuckles. What would her physics teacher of old have to say about that? Oh, come on. She has to be able to do this. In... and out... in... and out...

Has she had any thoughts in the last few seconds? No, right? Ha, that’s good. See? She can do it. This is actually kind of nice. The CD indeed is working. If Livine does this every day, she should be able to do it every once in a while, right? Unbelievable, every day. On top of her work, the laundry and the shopping. She would never have the self-discipline. Livine is much further advanced than she is, of course. What a relief. The guy on the CD has finally shut up. Deeper and deeper. In... and out...

Her body feels weird - or rather she almost doesn’t feel it at all. Like she is not in it anymore. It is like she’s standing beside it, looking at it from a distance. It is strange. Is this supposed to happen? She’s probably not doing it right. It’s her fault. Why can’t things ever just go right for her?

The weird feeling is getting stronger. It’s like she’s growing. She’s getting bigger and bigger. She never heard Livine talk about this. It’s like Alice in Wonderland eating the growth cookie. Bigger and bigger. It feels very unreal, like she doesn’t know her own body anymore. This is scary. What’s happening? Her heart is racing. The growing continues and there is nothing she can do to stop it. Bigger and bigger.

From an unknown depth a wave of power rises. The music of the CD is all around her and seems to feed the power. Slowly it comes up, inexorable, like an inescapable tsunami. Her breathing deepens as if she needs more oxygen for her ever-growing body. She watches herself from a distance, unable to do anything.

From her pelvis a blistering heat creeps up. Pure lust and horniness mingle with the immense power that swells ever further. A darkness filled with feelings that know no bounds, insatiable, uncontrollable. Bigger and bigger. The whole world lies at her feet. Feelings of power, bloodlust and perversity pulsate through her, getting stronger with every heartbeat.

Like a monster from deep dark water, the stinking fear rears its head. A creature with slimy dripping teeth that will drag her into the abyss, the dark, horrible depths of the underworld. She already feels its claws trying to hook into her skin and knows with certainty that if she doesn’t resist now, she will be lost forever.

With extreme effort, Amber forces herself to move her fingers. She has to get out of this. The grappling claws miss by a hair. The nails scrape along her skin. Panicked and disoriented, she opens her eyes. She has to blink hard to see clearly again. Panting and with chills all over her body she looks around her ordinary room. The Ikea couch, the coffee table, the television, everything looks dull, solid and reassuring.

She has goosebumps all over her body. The ambient tones of the CD continue to flow softly as if nothing has happened. She rubs her eyes hard and tries to get up. She groans when her body protests and her sleeping legs refuse to carry her. Cursing, she crawls to the CD player and can just reach the switch. Deafening silence.

Panting, she massages her legs to get the blood flowing again and wonders dazedly what happened. Yuck, this was not normal. She never wants to do this again. She was going to end up in a nice warm bath full of deep peace, wasn’t she? That’s what the CD promised. She picks up the cover and peers suspiciously at the image of a beautiful, totally zen woman, half submerged in a silver mirror sea. Deep Meditation II, it says on the cover. She snorts. Peace and quiet, yeah right. She’s never going to do this again. Sighing and groaning, she stands up, her legs feeling like rubber. She takes the CD out of the player and along with the case throws it in the trash.

Have you ever had that? Amber texts her friend, Livine later that day.

‘Tim, you have to clean up your stuff now. We don’t want Dad to break his neck when he gets home.’

She smooths over the tea towel on her lap before folding it neatly. Maybe she should iron them after all, like her mother used to do. It would look a lot neater in the drawer.

Her phone vibrates. Of course I have. I’ve even been really angry in a meditation once. You just have to get through it, honey. It’s all part of it. No light without darkness, Livine sends back.

Angry... A shudder runs across Amber’s spine as she thinks back on the experience of that afternoon. You see, this was not normal. You’re obviously not supposed to feel something like this. So why did she then? She is sure that her friend has never experienced anything like this before. She is always the epitome of peaceful harmony, wisdom and zen. Bloodlust and perversity are absent from her universe. That is what is so admirable about her. Livine is always in love with the whole world. Why can’t she do that? Why does it always go wrong with her? And why is her friend always so goddamned perfect?

Irritations are mirrors, Livine always says. They give you the chance to learn from another what you don’t want to see from yourself. Her friend fills herself with love and light and so it reflects in her surroundings. She wants that too. Amber sucks in the air and imagines that she is breathing in love and light.

‘Goddamnit Tim, no!’

The box of K’NEX spits out its entire contents, littering the living room with tiny sticks, cogs and connecting pieces.

‘But otherwise I can’t find anything,’ her son grins cheerfully.

Sighing, Amber begins to pick up all the small particles from the ground and puts them back in the box.

‘Come on Tim, I just don’t want it to be a mess when Dad comes back. He’s already working so hard and if he comes home in such a chaos.’

If only she had more clients in her homeopathy practice, then maybe Josh would have some more breathing space. She sees how much it costs him to leave early every morning and to have the almost full responsibility of supporting his family laying heavy on his shoulders. She sweeps up the tiny pieces of toys and picks out the lint from between them. She needs to start focus more on her acquisition again.

The K’NEX clatters to the bottom of the box. Sighing, she stretches out on her stomach and reaches for the pieces that rolled under the couch. Livine always says that the Universe will take care of you. She just needs to let go and then she will attract the clients with ease. Trust.

Groaning, she rises to her feet. She’s been trusting for ages and what does it bring her? She’s had her company for three years now. After completing her training as a classical homeopath, she enthusiastically and confidently started her own practice. She could not wait to guide all those people to their new, healthy and fully harmonized selves. She has been able to help quite a lot of people. Of course she did. The only thing is that it makes so little money.

Oh dear, how greedy. She drops down on the couch and pulls the laundry basket towards her. She grabs a pair of socks and starts rolling them into a ball. You see, that’s why. She is holding back her own success because subconsciously she is still only interested in money. That is so three-dimensional. In the new world it’s about very different things of course. There is abundance, for everyone. You create your own life, Livine always says. She sighs and stares at the laundry basket. Well, she’s not really doing a great job of it yet.

Her phone vibrates again. Are you all right, sweetheart? Go to the woods. Let the trees help you get grounded. XXX Liv.

Oh yes, sitting against a tree, that would be nice. It’s just too bad she’s got Tim and the laundry, and she has to start cooking in ten minutes. She wants to have dinner on the table on time because that is the least she can do. Amber sighs and grabs a pillowcase.

‘What exactly is this, honey?’ Josh attempts to hold the tiny grains on his fork until they reach his mouth.

‘That’s couscous, love. Livine says it’s very healthy. And those little balls are falafel, they’re made from vegetables. It’s Mediterranean.’

‘Pretty good. A bit dry.’ Josh smiles at her from across the table.

‘I’d rather have steak,’ Tim says with a long face. ‘I like meat.’

‘We try not to eat meat that much, dear. It’s so sad for all those animals and it’s not good for the planet either. Besides, it’s not healthy to eat meat every day, Tim.’

‘I just like it.’ Tim chews his food reluctantly. ‘And I learned in school that meat is good for growing. And for your muscles.’ He makes a fist and squeezes his upper arm inquisitively. His wide grin shows the chewed falafel with the yellow grains of couscous in between.

Josh winks at Tim.  ‘It might indeed be a good idea if you had a little organic meat more often. Right, Mom? And actually I would like that as well.’

Amber sighs resignedly and looks at her son, who bravely struggles through the couscous. With his blond, slightly too long hair - he never wants to get his hair cut - and his bright blue eyes he looks just like a little Viking. In a few months he will be ten years old and he stands firm on his sturdy, strong legs. He looks straight into the world with an open and honest gaze, afraid of nothing and no one. Her little warrior. So different from her.

Amber snuggles up against Josh and enjoys the warmth of his skin. She puts her arm over his chest and caresses his muscles. He presses his mouth on her hair and softly murmurs sweet little words. She seemingly by coincidence strokes his nipple with her forearm and immediately notices the effect this has on him. His breathing speeds up and the muscles under her hand tighten. What an intensity in that body. When will that be allowed to come out?

‘Wait a minute...’ Josh slips out from under the covers and fumbles around in the dark.

A click and the flame from the lighter lights up his face. She watches him silently as he lights the candles. You wouldn’t say he turned fifty last month. Sure, he doesn’t have the tight belly of when she met him, but his skin is smooth and he is still strong. His increasingly graying hair actually makes him look extra sexy. He’s ten years older than her, but sometimes it seems like he is only getting younger. He is.

The therapy sessions last year did him good. He is much more in touch with his feelings and has even learned to talk about them. Quite often, actually. And this... He’s become so romantic. Oh no, not that CD.

The first sounds of Romance by Candlelight echo softly through the room as he slides back against her.

‘Good?’ he asks.

She nods. His hands start softly to caress her body. He turns her onto her back and leans over her. He strokes her blonde hair out of her face. His gaze is warm and intense as he looks deep into her eyes.

‘You are unbelievably beautiful. Let me look at you. My goddess...’

Amber swallows. She averts her eyes and places her hands on his chest. He grips them tenderly, pressing a kiss into her palms and takes over again.

‘Divine woman,’ he murmurs with his mouth on her breast.

She stares at the ceiling as his breath passes warmly over her skin. The candle flames paint erratic shadows on the white plaster. She shivers. She tries to pull him onto her, but he shakes his head and continues to love her inch by inch. She does her best to concentrate on his caresses. This is going to take a while.

Afterwards Josh pulls her close, his voice drowsy as he sinks into sleep. ‘Maybe tantra is something for us. We could go on all night.’ Amber stares into the darkness and feels the weight of his arm on her chest with every breath.

2

‘What does he want for his birthday? A knife?’ Livine places the cup in front of Amber on the table and looks at her in shock. ‘Are you going to give him that? What does Josh think?’

‘Josh has difficulty with it too. He thinks it’s dangerous and is afraid he’ll get hurt, but he was ten himself when his father gave him a knife and Tim knows that.’ Amber picks up her teacup and inhales the warm scents of cinnamon, fennel and hibiscus flowers.

‘Well, boys will be boys. Maybe he needs it to develop his masculinity. Have you tried to see if he’s up for something else?’

‘Oh no, mister wants this and nothing else. You know him.’

‘A real indigo.’ Livine shakes her head. ‘They just claim what they feel is their right. We crystal children will probably never understand that, darling. It’s funny that you and Josh get to guide such a child together. You both have very different energies. Shall I test if it is a good idea to give him a knife?’

‘Yes, thank you.’ Amber puts her cup down.

Livine sits up, shakes her long dark hair back and closes her eyes. She lets her breath escape with a deep sigh. Livine is three years older than her and looks beautiful in her long dark red dress. All womanly, round and full, with warm dark eyes that seem to see everything.

Amber straightens her light blue blouse and runs a hand through her shoulder-length hair. How does Livine manage, as a single mother, to be an independent spiritual coach in the corporate world, to meditate every morning, to practice yoga, and to still have the stamina to guide her adolescent daughter through puberty? She even has the energy to maintain exciting sexual contacts with men she meets at Biodanza. Amber is sometimes, very unspiritually, just jealous.

Livine breathes deeply in and out and opens her eyes.

‘I only hear a ‘yes’, dear. It’ll be all right. He’ll be taken care of.’ She takes a big sip of her tea and looks at Amber lovingly. ‘Have faith. Are you going to do anything this weekend?’

Amber nods. ‘Tomorrow is my mom’s birthday. That’ll be fun.’

‘Go there in love, darling. Sooner or later he’s going to feel it, really.’

‘I hope so.’ Amber gets anxious in anticipation when she thinks of seeing her brother, but Livine is right. Love and light.

Amber watches the mother in the schoolyard discretely. She hasn’t seen her before. New for sure. Dressing like that when you’re that age. The woman wears tight-fitting jeans topped with a coarsely felted vest that leaves her generous cleavage in ample view. Her wild red hair waves freely over her shoulders. She radiates sex.

The woman smiles cheerfully at her. Amber nods briefly and turns around quickly. She notices that the fathers in the schoolyard are also looking at the woman. Amber sighs. Men. She strokes her skirt and straightens her blouse. Involuntarily, her hand runs over her dark blonde hair that has been tightly pulled back in a ponytail. 

‘Mom, we have a new girl in our class.’ Tim flings his schoolbag into his mother’s arms. ‘Look, that’s her.’ He points to a girl with red hair, who is just disappearing into a fierce embrace of felt, breasts and wild hair. Together they watch mother and daughter skip down the schoolyard.

‘Her mother is an actress and the girl’s name is Sam. Mom, are you going to dye your hair red too?’

Surprised, Amber looks at her son. ‘How do you figure that?’

‘Well, I think that’s cool. Your hair is so boring.’ Tim runs ahead to the car.

Amber slides her hand over her head again. Crazy kid, she thinks. Josh would be shocked. Besides, it wouldn’t match her wardrobe.

‘Tim, watch out for the cars.’ Hurriedly she runs after her son.

‘Hi, Dad.’ Amber hugs her father warmly and looks into his twinkling eyes. ‘Happy birthday. How is she?’

Her father gives a quick squeeze to her cheek. ‘She’s fine. She really feels celebratory today. Your brother is already here.’

Amber swallows. While her father is greeting Josh, she walks through the hallway to the kitchen. Tim has already rushed in to present his drawing to grandma.

‘Happy birthday, Mom.’

‘Darling, I’m so glad you’re here. Your father got us some pastries this morning. Would you like some tea?’

Amber takes Tim’s drawing from her mother and puts it on the kitchen table. She gives her a kiss on the cheek and looks at her inquisitively. Her mother’s eyes look away, searching for her husband who is just entering the kitchen.

Daniel stands up when Amber and Josh enter the room. Amber gives her brother a cool kiss.

‘How are you?’ she stiffens as she feels him tighten under her hands.

‘Alright.’ He looks past her and grabs his brother-in-law’s hand. ‘Josh, long time no see.’

Amber swallows again and sits down on the light leather couch as far away from her brother as possible. Daniel is dressed as always in a fashionable suit. At forty-eight, he’s still attractive. As a successful antiques dealer and a divorced man without any children he probably will not lack for female attention.

When her father enters, he gives her a wink and sits down next to her.

‘How’s my favourite daughter?’

‘You only have one, Dad.’ Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Daniel cross his arms over his chest.

‘How’s the practice?’

‘Er, well... It’s hard.’ Amber sighs and looks down at her boots.

Her mother comes in with a tray full of cups, cake and a teapot and places everything on the black lacquered coffee table.

‘Who had the apple pie? And the cream? Now I’ve lost it again. How stupid of me.’ Amber sees the beginning of panic in her mother’s eyes and hurries to help. When she wants to take the plates with the cake, her mother squeezes her hand hard.

‘No, your father has to do that, or else things will go wrong.’

Her father is already standing next to her and takes over.

‘Calm down, darling. I remember. That apple pie was for me.’

Amber slumps back on the couch. When she seeks Josh’ gaze, she sees Daniel looking at her with cold eyes and clenched jaws. A shiver runs down her spine.

‘Got any whisky, Dad?’

Amber’s father looks at her in surprise. ‘Whisky?’

She never drinks it, but she really needs something stronger than white wine. She shifts back and forth on the couch restlessly, slapping her right leg over her left and the other way around again. She tries to ignore her brother, though it’s not easy with only six people in the room. Her mother is getting more frantic, and every moment her father tries to start a conversation she demands his attention. Josh withdraws a little and helps Tim with the game of Solitaire, which he is allowed to play on his father’s phone. Daniel sits on the couch with his arms still folded across his chest, gazing coldly at Amber.

Her father puts the whisky on the table in front of her and she grabs the glass. It feels reassuringly firm and cool under her fingers. She squeezes her eyes closed against the intense, aromatic scent of the Scottish single malt and takes a large sip. Josh looks at her with a raised eyebrow.

‘I’ll be driving home too, then.’

She smiles sheepishly at him.

The conversation plows on. Her mother gets even more anxious. Amber takes another big gulp. She clings to the glass in her hands. Daniel reacts with increasing irritation to everything she says.

‘So you’re saying that parents should stop vaccinating their children? Will you also take responsibility for all those cases of polio that are going to happen again? And diphtheria?’ He looks at her fiercely.

‘I’m not saying that at all. I only think that parents should be properly informed that they have choices and the government is definitely not doing that. There are all kinds of alternative possibilities, for instance you can also give homeo—’

‘Oh yeah, of course. You want to give everyone one of those little pills and we’ll all stay healthy. Come on, Amber. You don’t really believe that yourself, do you?’ Daniel looks at her with a contemptuous smile on his face.

Amber takes a deep breath. ‘I’m not saying that at all, Daniel. If you would just listen to me–’

‘Oh, we all have to be quiet again because Her Majesty is speaking. Jesus Amber, you just can’t stand it when someone has a different opinion.’ A dismissive smile plays around his mouth.

Amber looks at her father for a moment.

‘No, just solve this yourself, sis. Don’t always look to Dad for help. You can’t bend everyone to your will like that.’ The corners of his mouth pull down and he looks at her as if she’s something he just found under his shoe.

Amber rounds on Daniel. ‘Excuse me?’

‘Now, now children. Don’t argue. It’s my birthday, you know.’ Her mother’s voice sounds high and shrill.

Josh looks frowning from one to the other. Daniel sits on the edge of the couch and leans towards Amber.

‘We are not living on a pink cloud, Amber.’ His voice cuts through her like a knife. ‘Normal people just have to work really hard. I can’t believe you let yourself be a kept woman, playing around with those little grains of yours. You’ve already got Josh in your pocket as well as you always had dad, haven’t you? When are you going to come down to the real world?’

‘Daniel, that’s enough. Keep it civilized.’ Amber’s father puts his arm around her mother who is starting to cry. She presses herself against her husband.

Daniel’s triumphant reproach is evident. Her father comfortingly leads his wife into the bedroom. For a moment Amber watches them, then she stares deeply into her glass and drinks the last of the whisky.

An unstoppable wave of aggression rises from her feet. Her fingers close firmly around her empty glass. Enormous heat surges through her body. Very slowly she puts her glass on the coffee table and stands up. She walks over until she’s knee to knee with Daniel. He gets on his feet and looks down at her with contempt. She stares into his icy blue eyes with a flaming gaze.

Her voice sounds low and husky. ‘What’s your problem?’

With intense disgust, he stares her straight in the eyes. His face changes to that of a stranger as he spits out, ‘You! You should never have been born!’

The slap makes her palm burn. A red handprint still glows on Daniel’s cheek. Tim’s cry breaks her tension. Josh is right beside them, ready to intervene.

Amber shakily puts her hand over her mouth. ‘Sorry.’

Daniel looks at her with fierce hatred in his eyes and walks out of the room.

Amber checks the back seat of the car where Tim is sleeping comfortably. Turning back, she closes her eyes for a moment until the dizziness subsides. Why did she drink whisky? She knows she can’t handle it. Josh is silent, concentrating on the road straight ahead. He hasn’t said a word since they left her parents’ house. When they arrive at home he carefully lifts the sleeping Tim out of the car and walks to his son’s room. Amber stands dazed in the kitchen. Then she walks to the closet and grabs the whisky bottle.

She tastes the salt as her tongue licks over the smooth skin. He groans as she buries her fingers in his chest hair and pulls gently. Fascinated, she watches the small bumps around the hairs rise on his arms. He straightens up to turn her over, but she roughly pushes him back into the pillows. He starts panting and his eyes open wide.

‘What’s going on with you? This is not like you, Amber.’

She smothers his words by pressing her mouth on his. She bites his lip hard. He gasps for breath. She slides her tongue down his chest and belly and takes him full into her mouth. He is rock hard.

‘Oh, my God,’ he groans.

She feels his hands in her hair. They try to stop her, then they grab hold and push her head down further.

A searing heat rises from her pelvis. Barely knowing what she is doing, she is at the same time absolutely focused. A wave of wild energy makes her whole body tremble. Josh tries to get up. She pushes him back and sits on top of him. He moans in surprise and she sees the lust clouding his gaze. When she feels him disappear deep inside her, she throws her head in her neck and growls low in her throat. She looks down at him and enjoys his helplessness.

His hands go to her breasts, she pushes them away and grabs him by his nipples. She thrusts her lower body hard against his. Sweat coats her skin. She closes her eyes and lets herself be engulfed. She smells the scent of animal lust. Panting and moaning fill her ears. Harder and harder she thrusts. Her hands clutch at the body beneath her. From a place she doesn’t know, the heat flares up even further and as she pushes deeper and deeper, she surrenders and empties herself into the darkness.

3

Amber wakes up with a shock. The heat of the night still shimmers in her blood. An iron band is firmly tied around her head and when she turns around, large bolts in her temples tighten it even more. With difficulty she detaches her leathery tongue from the bone-dry mucous membrane of her palate, and her face twitches at the horrifically foul taste in her mouth. Carefully she sits upright in bed and sees that Josh is still in a deep sleep.

The memories of the night before come crashing in. Immediately she feels her body change; her shoulders become broader, her belly harder and the muscles of her arms and legs much bigger. A pleasant tension pulses gently between her legs. Startled, she gasps and the feeling disappears.

She reaches for her breasts. They are still there. Besides relief, she also feels bewilderment. Breasts! What in Maria’s name has happened? Her hand slides down. Nothing. Agitated, she feels between her legs. My God, where is it?

A shiver runs down Amber’s spine, goosebumps rising all over her body. God, what is happening? Is she going crazy? Oh God no, already. This isn’t normal. Is she schizophrenic, or what is it called? Multiple personality? Maybe it’s hereditary. Could it have started that way with her mother forty years ago? A wave of panic rises up. What about Tim? She should never have had children. You see, history repeats itself. It’s her fault, she should have known. She can hardly breathe. Her head is pounding like crazy.

Suddenly she thinks of the whisky. She heaves a deep sigh of relief. That’s it. Of course it is. She never drinks whisky. She has just had a really weird reaction to it and no wonder. She simply has a hangover. And in a different way than most people. That’s possible. It’s probably an allergic reaction of some sort. She’s fine, thank God. She’s such a baby. Panicking over nothing.

She licks her dry teeth and groans softly. She’ll never drink another drop of whisky again. Or any kind of alcohol. She will quit, teetotal from now on. Much healthier. Careful not to wake up Josh, she gets out of bed and walks to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror, smudged raccoon eyes stare back at her. She removes the mascara with a cotton ball and splashes cold water on her face. Thirsty, she drinks from the tap.

When she’s back in bed, memories of her mother’s birthday and the heated argument with Daniel come to the surface. She shudders when she thinks how he looked down at her. His face just seemed to change into someone else’s. Such hatred that radiated from him. She knew he hated her, she’d felt that all her life, but she didn’t know it was this bad. And what possessed her anyway? First of all that whisky at her parents and then even more at home. She hides her face in her hands. Her calmness is completely gone.

And she hurt Josh. That’s never happened before. She was completely out of control. She’d never been so aroused in her life. Making love has always been tender, loving, respectful. But last night... she just took from him. Admittedly, she secretly hoped Josh would sometimes claim her like that. That he would take her roughly and that she would have no say in the matter. But Josh did no such thing. A surge of horniness shoots through her and she gasps. She just fucked him. And not as a woman...

‘Good morning sweetheart, are you all right?’

She startles. Josh watches her intently.

She mutters indistinctly, not daring to look at him and feels herself blushing heavily.

‘You were on a roll last night. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like that before.’

She buries her head under her pillow, groaning. His voice sounds muffled.

‘It was different. Interesting.’

Suddenly the bedroom door creaks open and with a loud cry Tim throws himself on the bed.

In the afternoon, Tim is at a friend’s house and Josh is doing some chores. Amber gives in to her tiredness and goes to lay on her bed for a bit. She has been feeling strange all day, and not only because of the hangover. She immediately sent Daniel an apology email, taking the blame for the whole thing. She doesn’t expect him to answer her.

Anxious, but also curious, she tries to calm her breathing and make contact with her body. Immediately an incredibly wild energy slams through her. Don’t cut it off, stay with it. Feel it. From her pelvis the lust fills her whole body and an immense power flows through her veins. An intense life force, sizzling and addictively delicious. Her mind feels alert and razor sharp. And masculine. The feeling is new and yet, strangely, also familiar. It belongs to her somehow. It comes from somewhere deep inside her. From a very long time ago. It pulls at her spirit. She gives in and lets herself slide back.

He stares at the red hot embers. The faint warmth is barely noticeable. The soft glow is slowly absorbed by the growing dawn. A few birds are carefully warming up for their morning song. On the other side of the fire pit, long strands of raven black hair wave out from under a large fur coat. Silent as a bear in hibernation. Different from the earth-shattering snoring that usually comes from it.

He stands up and stretches his arms, groaning at