Chro Is My Name: Memoir of a Kurdish Hero's Daughter

By Chro Zand

The difference between the revolutionary days and today is like the difference between the moon and the sun. The sun and the moon appear in the same sky but at completely different times. And they do not wait for each other to shine. The moon disappears before the beauty of the sunrise. The sun sets before the beauty of the moon appears. These things happen as a sign of respect of the sun for the moon and of the moon for the sun. Life is like a journey on a train. Passengers come and go. Everyone has his own station where he must leave the train. Your journey is yours. Continue until you reach your destination. My own journey is not a history of my land. It is a history of what I experienced in that land. It is what I experienced in the land of history, in a cradle of civilization known as Mesopotamia, a land where they know my name. My name is Chro.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tellwell Talent
• Release date: Sep 27, 2022
• ISBN: 9780228884590

Chro Zand

Chro Zand was born and raised in Sulaimani, Kurdistan, by parents with a heart of gold. In 1980, she became part of Soleimani's first ladies' musical band. She was nominated for Miss Kurdistan at age 17 and graduated from Sulaimani High School. In 1984 she graduated from the College of Art and Literature. She then perused further studies in technical language and literature in the various institutions between 1985 and 1990.Chro's marriage ended in divorce after producing a son and a daughter, whom she loves immensely. She was one of the five million refugees who fled Kurdistan after the April 1991 genocide against the Kurdish nation. Her varied life has included ten years as a fashion designer, a period of residence in Turkey and, once again, as a refugee. Finally, she lived in Canada as a resident and a Canadian citizen.She has dwelt, studied, and worked in Toronto for many years as a trained and certified translator and interpreter. Chro has done English translation for Arabic and Kurdish clients in Canada and the United States.She has been a member of PEN Canada since 2005, the year she won an international short story contest. Earlier, in Kurdistan, at 16, she received her first award for writing.She became, in 2003, the first person to start a class through the Toronto District School Board to teach the Kurdish Sorani dialect. Chro has published poems, articles, and other writing in English, Kurdish, and Arabic. Chro is My Name is her first book in English.

Book preview

Chro Is My Name

Memoir of a Kurdish Hero’s Daughter

Chro Zand

Chro Is My Name

Copyright © 2022 by Chro Zand

Edited by Frank A. Campbell

Inside design by Von Langoyan

Cover design by Ashton Franklin

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Tellwell Talent

www.tellwell.ca

ISBN

978-0-2288-8458-3 (Hardcover)

978-0-2288-8457-6 (Paperback)

978-0-2288-8459-0 (eBook)

Table of Contents

Dedication

Prologue

More Praise for Chro Is My Name

Chapter 1: Fleeing Home

The 1991 Uprising

Last Dinner

Fleeing to The Borders Before Midnight

The Anguish of Separation: Third Night

The United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR)

Refugees Fell into Restless Sleep

In the Moonlight

Chapter 2: Home: The Place I Always Wanted To Go Back To

My Birthplace: Sulaimani

The Image of the War Haunts Me Still

War

News from My Parents

Chapter 3: Memo From A Teenage Girl

My Childhood

High School Student Protest

Life on Campus

The Graduation Battle

Your Mother Tongue

Me: A Volunteer Village Teacher

Chapter 4: The Best Year Of My Youth

Forbidden Love

Halabja

Giving Birth to a Baby Boy

The War That Split Us Apart

I Learned

Chapter 5: Life In Baghdad

Living in Exile

Giving Birth to My Baby Girl

Our Rental House in Baghdad

Discrimination

The Lie of Love

Return to My Birthplace: Sulaimani

Chapter 6: Fleeing The Home Country

At the Border

Life in Turkey

Sivas, the Forbidden City

If I Could Tell You

Chapter 7: Canada: New Chapter In My Life

Ending up in The Land I Had Not Chosen

Nostalgia, Far Away from Home

My Lost ID

Take Away

Chro is My Name

Chapter 8: Karim Zand: Why So Many Respects The Dad I Adore

Karim Zand’s Published Books

Aspects of the Life and Work of Karim Zand

Translation of the New Testament

Karim Zand’s Journey

My Father and I

Daddy’s Hat

Take Me

His Final Words

Final Words

Love Letter to My Dad

Acknowledgements

More Praise for Chro Is My Name

About the Author

Dedication

THIS WORK IS DEDICATED TO THE MEMORY OF MY father, Karim Zand, who enriched my life in ways I would never have imagined. He gave me the strength and confidence to be the person I am today. I owe you, Father.

One wish that I had in my life was that my father could read everything I have written, but our dreams don’t all come true. My dear father left this world, and he is resting in peace now.

I affectionately dedicate this book to my loving son Las and daughter Liza.

This book is also dedicated to my mother, Ama Zand, and to all mothers who wait for their children to return. It is dedicated, as well, to people who lost their loved ones in the nations’ genocide, those who wait for the loved ones from whom they may never hear, and to those lost loved ones who may never return. In a special way, I dedicate it to refugees, those living in asylum who have struggled in the transition to life in new lands where they find themselves. To my brother Shko Zand, who has been one of them and whom I love the way I love my children.

I wish that there would be no wars, and that all human beings would live peacefully and not based on distinctions of gender, skin color, religion, nationality, or belief. And that no political power would use their weapons to massacre people of other nations.

There is no winner in war. War splits us apart. It becomes a separation of our soul, and many don’t survive it. After the last dinner in 1991, which is detailed in a later section of this book, my family never got whole again, not even for my marriage.

I dedicate this book and these sentiments to the memory of my loving father. Because of him, I will always be proud to be called a Daddy’s girl. For the world, you are one person. For me you are my world.

Prologue

MY PAST BECOMES MORE PRESENT

THIS BOOK IS IN PART AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL. IT IS ENTIRELY non-fiction. It is a recounting of events in my life in my beloved country of Kurdistan and in countries where I have sought refuge. It retells my life’s journey, my transition to a land of peace and beauty, to a country I had not initially chosen.

Chro Is My Name was originally the title of a short story that I had written in 2008. It had been published in Newcomer Magazine and later in a collection of short stories named Jiwar written by me and published in Kurdish in 2010 in Kurdistan. Finally, it was in the program of the School of Continuing Studies of the University of Toronto.

I was born with a name that was dear to me. My name, Chro, is the name of a bud or a small flower that blooms in spring. I have always loved my name and the image it gives me of myself; it has been an influential part of my life in different cultures, for various reasons.

The uprising on April 1, 1991, is covered in the first chapter of this book. It is an unforgettable memory of anti-Kurdish genocide. Chapter eight, dealing with my father, is a short part of his long journey. That chapter mentions his 15 published books, including his translation of the New Testament of the Holy Bible. This was the first translation of the New Testament from French to Kurdish. I couldn’t separate his memoir from my own.

Now, my past has become a distant place, and I sometimes choose to go there, turning the pages of a young girl’s book, my book. I sit under the bright sky, looking for a bit of sun to lighten my way and take me back to my childhood, to the native land, to the place where I was born and where I want to be buried.

My journey is not a history of my land. It is what I experienced in the land of history, in that cradle of civilization known as Mesopotamia.

My journey is not a statistic or the number of a nation’s genocide. It is not a history of the occupation of my land. It is not the story of a politician, or of a religious belief. It is my memoir of my journey in life. I wrote this memoir for the sake of writing it and in order to share my journey with readers.

However, the more I press the pen, the more details reveal themselves. The more I remember, the more tears I shed. I believe it does not matter how much we express ourselves, write about, or relive things that happened to us. There are things in our lives that we won’t relive or write about; more things will remain secret and go to the grave with us.

The moment I reunited with my parents after seven years of separation leaving my country was very emotional.

I had a difficult life shaped by war. Indeed, it was beyond my understanding, as I always wanted to be close to my parents. I could have avoided much suffering, and my life could have been different. However, even after many years of living abroad, I couldn’t decide to return to where I belong, to the life I missed.

To me, everything was meant to happen just the way it did. And I feel that there is an element of destiny in all those events. Though, I do not have an urge to convert to a religious belief. I am spiritual but not a religious person, I do not want you to see me as a victim, and I do not have any regrets for what happened in my life. In the end, I am humbled by this thought.

Now, my past becomes more present to me.

More Praise for Chro Is My Name

Your memoir has moved me, your writing has come a long way since your time at the Sheridan Centre, and your story is powerful. Thank you for sharing it.

Your pungent little memoir is testimony to the pride and resilience of the Kurdish people, and a young mother’s courage in the turmoil of war and oppression. Your story opens eyes and hearts to refugees who bravely build new lives in Canada.

— Don Sellar is a retired journalist

Chro is My Name is one woman’s heartfelt and startling memoir: the journey of how she survived the 1991 genocidal massacre of the Kurdish people by Iraq’s Saddam Hussein. Chro was among the five million Kurds who left the country. Alone with one child and pregnant with her second, she walked to a refugee camp where she learned to survive with little food and only a tent in the mountain for shelter. She began in her mind to write this powerful story.

Born to a distinguished Kurdish family, Chro arrived in Canada with $200 in her pocket and two cherished photos of her beloved mother and father to sustain her. Chro is My Name is the poignant story of her perilous path to safety and her struggle to make a new life in Canada for herself and her children.

— Joyce Wayne’s most recent novel is Last Night of the World. She is the former director of the Sheridan Centre for Internationally Trained Journalists.

CHAPTER 1

Fleeing Home

The 1991 Uprising

IT WAS THE FIRST WEEK OF MARCH 1991. THE TREES WERE covered with green buds and were full of promise. March is a significant month for Kurds. Many things have happened in March, good and bad, sad and happy. The Iraqi-Kurdish Autonomy Agreement was finalized and announced in March 1970. The Kurdish New Year, Newroz, is celebrated in March. On the other hand, also occurring in March was the notorious Al Anfal Campaign, which was part of the Kurdish Genocide. This was the Halabja chemical attack, also known as the Halabja Massacre. It is also called Bloody Friday, although it took place on March 16, 1988, which was a Wednesday. On that day, chemical bombs destroyed the entire city of Halabja, killing between 50,000 and 182,000 Kurdish civilians (men, women and children). Years after the uprising, the Kurdish government rebuilt the city of Halabja, and included a monument as a symbol of the massacre.

April 24, 1974, was the day that changed the life of my childhood friend, Chiman H. Mahmood. It was the day when the entire city of Qaladiza was bombed and when Chiman lost her left leg.