Sanctity: StarStation, #2

By Toshi Drake

Can a man in emotional turmoil find love on a space station overrun by pirates?

Commander Jax Trest is struggling with a secret pain he finds difficult to share with his friends. When his spaceship, the Padua, docks for repairs at StarStation 86, Trest is ordered to take time off and seek counselling. From his first encounter with Commander Zoagashta, Trest finds himself entranced by the empathic Asyran, and new possibilities for emotional connection open to him.

But when a stalker hints Trest is the target of a Siwu pirate attack that endangers the station, Trest must find the strength to survive a harrowing kidnapping. Trapped in a deadly scenario where he can't trust his own thoughts, will Trest learn to reach out to the person who offers him acceptance… or will he lose himself to the darkness of an enraged ship's heart?

Sanctity features asexual awakenings, the discovery of one's true self, sweet courtships, grumpy/sunshine first loves, and heart-pounding moments of courageous heroes and villainous pirates.
This book is not a standalone and is best read after Entity.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Toshi Drake
• Release date: Sep 22, 2022
• ISBN: 9798215677216

Book preview

CHAPTER 1

Ahum of anxiety ran through me as I sat at the conference table with the Padua ’s other senior staff. Everyone felt a level of apprehension in anticipating the next stage of our plan. Having removed Captain Knight, we were now trying to rescue Lieutenant Collins while pirates bore down on our position. We all wanted to do something, be active, rather than sitting in a meeting room.

I felt on edge waiting here. With Lieutenant Collins still missing, I needed to help Padua, our ship’s heart. She would need someone to get her through this crisis.

Thank you, everyone. We need to share some information with senior staff before it filters down to the rest of the crew, Commander—Captain Sartris said as he sat down at the conference table.

Sartris becoming captain of the ship was a hard change for me. I didn’t like change, and this was a big one, especially since it came with the arrest of our previous captain. Captain Knight had tried to sell our ship’s heart and her bonded to pirates, and the resulting mission was charting a new path for the crew of the Padua.

I looked at the door and back to Sartris, hoping I could escape. I had been an integral part of what happened, so I didn’t think it necessary for me to be at this briefing. I should be in the star chamber right now, reassuring my team and Padua that all would be well. I slid my chair back a little bit, making room to move silently, but that motion was met by the captain’s raised eyebrow as he glanced toward me. Slumping down, I settled back in my seat and waited for Sartris to continue the meeting.

"As many of you know, Lieutenant Collins has been located on a derelict ship on the outer edge of an asteroid belt. Unfortunately a faction of Siwu pirates have also been spotted nearby. We have contacted the Chalcedon, and they will escort us and provide support as we retrieve our missing crew member." Sartris’s words were encouraging and professional, but I could see the stress lines on his face and his white knuckles as he gripped the computer pad in his hands. The strain of being in front of the senior staff while his partner was lost had to be painful. I imagined he wanted to be on the bridge, directing the crew to rescue Collins.

A delicate pulse of comfort and friendship in my head relaxed and released the tension in my neck. Padua’s presence in my mind had been a surprise. I didn’t understand how it happened, but one morning I was working on calculations and she was there in my head, offering solutions and begging for attention, which I gave her.

The colourful pulses she’d sent were filled with warmth and affection, reminding me to breathe and let go of the building tension. It made me more productive. And in the quiet of night, I attempted to send something similar back, and she filled my mind with rainbows of emotions. I wanted more of it. I remembered asking Collins what it was like to have a sentient being bonded to him, and he’d described it as a warm blanket. Padua kept him focused on the tasks. To Collins, she was a big affectionate puppy, offering support.

Feeling Padua’s presence again helped me refocus on Sartris’s speech.

"I don’t know what state Lieutenant Collins will be in when we retrieve him. However, he informed Commander Wild and me that pirates are on the Ryokosha. Once we tether the Padua to the Ryokosha, I will take a security force comprised of Chalcedon’s crew and our own so we can be ready for whatever the pirates throw at us. I want everyone to be prepared for the worst-case scenario. The Chalcedon will be watching for incoming pirate vessels. Commander Trest and his team will remain in the star chamber. If anything happens, like I said, worst-case scenario, I want you to take the Padua and get to a secure location as fast as you can. StarStation 86 is the nearest VCC station in this quadrant."

I nodded silently; I didn’t think words were necessary. What would be the point of being dramatic? I knew what the captain and higher-ups wanted. Get out and get safe.

Sartris held my gaze as he waited for anything I had to say. When it became clear I had nothing, he continued to outline the plan for everyone else. It sounded dangerous and complicated. Not something I wanted to be a part of. I liked being an engineer. I protected the star chamber and sometimes the ship’s heart. It was easy and predictable.

"Everyone knows what to do, correct? If you have any problems, speak with Commander Wild. He’ll have the bridge while Commander Gratch and I are on the Ryokosha. Sartris nodded sharply. To your stations."

Everyone began talking as they quickly filed out.

An ensign came up beside me and saluted briefly. Commander Trest? Come with me. He looked completely out of his element among the senior staff. The, umm, captain would like to speak with you in his ready room.

I looked to where Sartris was deep in conversation with Gratch and wondered why he couldn’t speak with me here. I shook my head and followed the ensign. He was silent as he led me through the senior offices and bridge until we were in front of the ready room door. I had important things to do rather than wait around to discuss exit strategies.

If you’ll wait in the anteroom, I’m sure he’ll be right here. The ensign saluted again and disappeared. I sat in the lone chair and pulled out my tablet. I could at least get some things started as I waited for the captain.

Sartris entered the small room as I was getting involved in hyperjumps and timing for Padua, and I wanted to scowl mightily at being interrupted.

Good, you’re here, he said. Come into my office. I need to speak with you privately.

Once in the room, Sartris made us both cups of tea before sitting beside me, rather than across from me. This desk is awful. So, how’s your crew doing?

They’re fine. Just making sure everything is running smoothly. Not having Lieutenant Collins on board is an adjustment, but we’re okay.

And how’s Padua? His gaze was steady as he watched me twitch in my chair. Did he know Padua communicated with me? Was it one of those open secrets everyone knew?

Just as well, I guess. Lonely, I think. She keeps looking for Collins in the star chamber. I cautiously tapped the warm link between me and Padua and found myself in a riot of colours and emotions. Hopeful joy and anxious excitement were soft green and pale orange. She wanted news of Collins as much as we did. We could go to her containment tank and talk with her. I think she’d like that.

That’s not necessary. Sartris leaned forward and steepled his fingers together before examining me. How are you doing? You look exhausted. I know it’s only been a couple of days, but keeping engineering running smoothly while catering to a scared ship’s heart has got to be tough.

I shrugged. Padua usually stuck herself to the transparent tank wall where I worked and watched as I input data. Occasionally I tossed Collins’s approved snacks in her tank to keep her happy. She’s been fine for me.

Really? Every time I venture into her containment chamber, she’s been listless and dull, Sartris said doubtfully. He leaned closer to me, and I shifted out of the way. Is there something else going on?

No, not really. Anyway, is there anything else about this rescue plan I need to know? I asked, leading the topic to what I thought this conversation was about. Every probing look and concerned gaze got to me, and I just wanted to be in my space, working.

No, I wanted to see how you were doing. You ought to be commended for stepping up and taking care of Padua. Not many people would be comfortable with it. Sartris paused before continuing, But, like I said, if I give you the order, I want you out of this section of space ASAP.

Agreed. So I should probably head back down and start preparations. I’m sure you want this done soon. I began to stand, but Sartris’s glare froze me.

Sit down, Commander. We aren’t done talking. Sartris sat up straight, and his presence was definitely that of the captain now.

But engineering…

He sat unblinking, waiting for me to cave to his command. Are you done with the excuses?

I stared longingly at the door and wished I had the gumption to say no to Sartris and leave. I didn’t like being the complete focus of one person. It was tiring. I knew I should get this over with, so I sat down and braced for whatever Sartris was going to discuss.

I don’t know what state Michael will be in when we find him. Every time we speak, he sounds less himself and more morose. I’ve tried to keep him upbeat and positive. Sartris looked away and blew out a breath. He didn’t speak for a minute. I don’t know what the effects will be for Padua or for him when he finally returns and they’re reunited, so I want to be prepared for every eventuality. This is where you come in. I know you’ve been caring for Padua even before this shitshow began, so I assume you’ll be able to tell if she’s feeling off.

I cleared my throat and tried to give him what he wanted—reassurance, most likely. "From what Collins and I gathered, Padua hasn’t been feeling like herself since the last maintenance docking. We’ve been coddling her and covering up her gaffes from the former captain. The state of the Padua hasn’t helped matters. And then Collins just hasn’t had time to spend bonding with Padua. It’s been a massive clusterfuck. Pardon my language, sir."

Shit. Sartris scrubbed a hand down his face and looked away. He appeared exhausted. Bruised eyes and washed-out skin dominated his features. Even his hair was a mess. This was a man who usually prided himself on his appearance and how he presented himself to the rest of the crew. I should have caught that sooner. Okay. This is okay, and we can work with it. Everything will be fine.

I waited a moment before shifting in my seat. I still didn’t understand why Sartris had called me to his office, and I didn’t think he was in the right frame of mind to answer that question now. Comm—Captain, may I be dismissed? I’d like to prepare before the mission. Get things ready for your just-in-case scenario.

You’re doing an amazing job protecting Padua. Thank you for that. Anyway, the reason I called you in here… Sartris smiled at me before leaning back in his seat. It’s about Padua. Can you keep her calm and relaxed? I know the bond between her and Mick must be taxed, and who knows what’s happening as we get closer to him. I just don’t want her agitated.

Of course. She will be my top priority, I reassured him. It was the least I could do. You’ll get him back, and everything will be alright. Soon you’ll be tearing your hair out because of his shenanigans.

Thanks, Jax. That’s a big help. Sartris took another deep breath before giving me a real smile. Go talk to the big squid. She’s likely needing something right now.

Yeah, I can feel it already.

A look of concern and confusion washed over his face before a smile appeared again.

She always pushes her wants on me at this time of day.

I see. I’ll speak with you again before I go off ship. Thank you for your insight. It was invaluable. Sartris nodded sharply as I saluted him and left the ready room.

I hadn’t been lying when I said Padua was pulsating in the back of my mind. The pressure and noise were becoming thunderous. The colours were brighter and hypnotic. I could barely focus on putting one foot in front of the other. I had to get to the star drive in double time before she did something childish and stupid. I understood where she was coming from, though. Every minute brought her that much closer to her person.

I was pretty excited as well. I wanted out of this hellhole region of space. The high concentration of particles and micro asteroids gave me the willies. Eventually the ship was going to get hit, and then we would be totally fucked.

The star drive was a hive of activity as everyone rushed to prepare the Padua for every eventuality—a rescue, an attack, who knew? We needed to be ready. The Chalcedon, our protector, was in constant contact with one of my communication officers, letting us know their every move as they attempted to block the Siwu pirates from our ship and the one Collins was on.

When we received word that the security strike team was boarding the Ryokosha, Padua was glued to the exterior porthole. I kept pace with her as she swam restlessly from window to window. The colours she projected were dark, colours of dismay, fear, and worry. She was terrified her bonded human was hurt and she couldn’t do anything.

A continuous echo bounced between the two of us and Collins. I couldn’t help but gag as what felt like black tar coated the back of my throat. Padua stuck a tentacle on the transparent tank wall and bubbled sympathy at me. I placed my hand on the same section and forced back the bile burning in my throat.

One moment in the rescue would always be prominent in my memories. Padua was comforting me, and I could see her glorious eye blinking at me, and then… and then… I was alone.

The colourful pulses of emotion that had filled me with hope were gone. The delicate thread I had been tending was invisible and thin. I didn’t know if I screamed, but the pain, my StarGods, the pain was excruciating. A hole in my heart grew by the second as I watched Padua dance in her tank. I touched the tank wall, needing her to be there, but it burned me when before it had soothed me.

CHAPTER 2

Everything happened so fast. Despite feeling completely lost and alone, I kept up the facade of doing all I could. The star drive came alive so we could get out of this region the minute the lead ship told us. I had my staff tend to Padua while I worked out the calculations of the course trajectory. The Chalcedon’s senior engineer and I were sending messages faster than I could type.

In my periphery, I heard about a scuffle on the Ryokosha. Pirates and the security team met with fists and lasers, but Collins and Sartris were safely on board the Padua. I was glad. Collins was a good man, and Sartris loved him.

But the emptiness within me grew exponentially, and I wasn’t sure I’d be able to hide what was going on from the more observant members of the senior staff. I had been able to remain in engineering because I was the only one besides Collins who could do the complex calculations between Padua and the star drive. Everything needed to be done quickly so we could get out of this abandoned region of space before more Siwu showed up.

Eventually, there would be a debriefing and the admiral and the captain would explain the next steps in our recovery. Because it was a recovery. The crew of the Padua would have to deal with the repercussions of an unethical and criminal captain as well as a narrow victory over pirates. We were exhausted.

The Virgo Cluster Corporation fleet arrived shortly after for the cleanup. They were joined by our security team as they rounded up the pirates who couldn’t flee. The pirates were sent to the Chalcedon’s brig, as it was more secure. The Padua just didn’t have the capacity for it.

While all of this was happening, I kept my head down and my problems close to my chest. Every minute a knife dug deeper into my heart and twisted. I was enveloped in silence when before I’d had the background noise of a ship’s heart. But my problem was tiny compared to that of Michael Collins and the treasonous behaviour of our former captain.

Commander Trest? May I have a word?

I looked up from my tablet and found Commander Damon Wild standing in the doorway with a ferocious scowl on his normally cheerful face. His black hair was longer than regulation and held back with a clip. A few inky locks fell into his eyes and, irritated, he brushed them away. Everything about his posture screamed at me to move, to hide.

What would you like, Commander? I asked calmly, setting the tablet down and devoting my attention to him. Every noise and reflection of light from the hallway behind him made my skin crawl and the hole within me