The Master of Mrs. Chilvers: An Improbable Comedy
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Jerome K. Jerome
Jerome Klapka Jerome was born in 1859 and was brought up in London. He started work as a railway clerk at fourteen, and later was employed as a schoolmaster, actor and journalist. He published two volumes of comic essays and in 1889 Three Men in a Boat. This was an instant success. His new-found wealth enabled him to become one of the founders of The Idler, a humorous magazine which published pieces by W W Jacobs, Bret Harte, Mark Twain and others. In 1900 he wrote a sequel, Three Men on the Bummel, which follows the adventures of the three protagonists on a walking tour through Germany. Jerome married in 1888 and had a daughter. He served as an ambulance driver on the Western Front during the First World War and died in 1927.
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The Master of Mrs. Chilvers - Jerome K. Jerome
Jerome K. Jerome
The Master of Mrs. Chilvers
An Improbable Comedy
EAN 8596547354994
DigiCat, 2022
Contact: DigiCat@okpublishing.info
Table of Contents
CHARACTERS IN THE PLAY
THE FIRST ACT
THE SECOND ACT
THE THIRD ACT
THE FOURTH ACT
AS IT WAS PRODUCED AT THE ROYALTY THEATRE, LONDON, ON
APRIL 26TH, 1911, UNDER THE MANAGEMENT OF
MESSRS. VEDRENNE & EADIE.
CHARACTERS IN THE PLAY
Table of Contents
THE FIRST ACT
Table of Contents
Scene
:—Drawing-room, 91, Russell Square.
Time
:—Afternoon.
(
Mrs. Elizabeth Spender
sits near the fire, reading a book. She is a tall, thin woman, with passionate eyes, set in an oval face of olive complexion; the features are regular and severe; her massive dark hair is almost primly arranged. She wears a tailor-made costume, surmounted by a plain black hat. The door opens and
Phoebe
enters, shown in by
Hake
, the butler, a thin, ascetic-looking man of about thirty, with prematurely grey hair.
Phoebe Mogton
is of the Fluffy Ruffles type, petite, with a retroussé nose, remarkably bright eyes, and a quantity of fluffy light hair, somewhat untidily arranged. She is fashionably dressed in the fussy, flyaway style.
Elizabeth
looks up; the two young women shake hands.)
Phoebe
. Good woman. ’Tisn’t three o’clock yet, is it?
Elizabeth
. About five minutes to.
Phoebe
. Annys is on her way. I just caught her in time. (To
Hake
.) Put a table and six chairs. Give mamma a hammer and a cushion at her back.
Hake
. A hammer, miss?
Phoebe
. A chairman’s hammer. Haven’t you got one?
Hake
. I’m afraid not, miss. Would a gravy spoon do?
Phoebe
(To
Elizabeth
, after expression of disgust.) Fancy a house without a chairman’s hammer! (To
Hake
.) See that there’s something. Did your wife go to the meeting last night?
Hake
(He is arranging furniture according to instructions.) I’m not quite sure, miss. I gave her the evening out.
Phoebe
. Gave her the evening out
!
Elizabeth
. We are speaking of your wife, man, not your servant.
Hake
. Yes, miss. You see, we don’t keep servants in our class. Somebody’s got to put the children to bed.
Elizabeth
. Why not the man—occasionally?
Hake
. Well, you see, miss, in my case, I rarely getting home much before midnight, it would make it so late. Yesterday being my night off, things fitted in, so to speak. Will there be any writing, miss?
Phoebe
. Yes. See that there’s plenty of blotting-paper. (To
Elizabeth
.) Mamma always splashes so.
Hake
. Yes, miss.
(He goes out.)
Elizabeth
. Did you ever hear anything more delightfully naïve? He gave
her the evening out. That’s how they think of us—as their servants. The gentleman hasn’t the courage to be straightforward about it. The butler blurts out the truth. Why are we meeting here instead of at our own place?
Phoebe
. For secrecy, I expect. Too many gasbags always about the office. I fancy—I’m not quite sure—that mamma’s got a new idea.
Elizabeth
. Leading to Holloway?
Phoebe
. Well, most roads lead there.
Elizabeth
. And end there—so far as I can see.
Phoebe
. You’re too impatient.
Elizabeth
. It’s what our friends have been telling us—for the last fifty years.
Phoebe
. Look here, if it was only the usual sort of thing mamma wouldn’t want it kept secret. I’m inclined to think it’s a new departure altogether.
(The door opens. There enters
Janet Blake
, followed by
Hake
, who proceeds with his work.
Janet Blake
is a slight, fragile-looking creature, her great dark eyes—the eyes of a