Pursue

By Wally Mac

This book is my response to 1st Peter 1:16. It is a snapshot of my life. It is written with the help of a good friend Jason Durant. I hope it encourages you.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Sep 7, 2022
• ISBN: 9781667856698

Book preview

COMFORT

Comfort and where we find it will be recurring themes here, as they have been a core message that the Lord has been working into my life lately.  In this section, I want to be honest in revealing some of the trinkets I find comfort in.  My hope is that God might use transparency over ill-sought comfort in my life to help you see where dangerous corners of incorrect comfort might exist in you.

It rocked my world when God told me I was too comfortable and showed me many false supports. The same could happen to you.

What do you get the most comfort from?  Brace yourself! 

I take comfort in watching television.  More specifically, too much television.  Streaming shows online has recently become the better pattern for me, as I have found that it is less likely to contribute to hours of mindless watching of programming that I had no intention of seeing when I first tuned in.  Knowing what I am going to watch before I start seems to prevent drift into the next show to wow the world, the one I had never heard of until its intro immediately followed the show I was watching.  I don’t need the next show. It won’t answer any big life questions for me.  That first five minutes hooks me, though, giving me something to be excited about or a question I want to see the answer to.  And then I’m there again, watching… again.

When television or other media is talked about in some churches or other Christian contexts, it is almost always presented as a cesspool of rampant filth.  There is no denying that there is a plethora of viewing options which clearly and adamantly deny Jesus.  Without question, we should take this seriously and be mindful.

Yet, I do not find that my watching problems are always explicit or crass content.  My comfort from television is more about time to linger, to escape what I could be or should be doing.  Television time can easily become a place to invest in the imaginary lives played out in the storylines before me while disconnecting from the real lives that are around me.  I find myself rooting for people on a screen whose scripted lives pursue an agenda that does not honor Jesus.  I find myself rooting for actors even though I do not really know what they are like as real people.  Can it be good for my emotions to be invested in cheering for the causes of those whose causes are against the cause of Christ?

My disconnect from tangible people for the connection with on-screen characters and the applauding for what Jesus might find appalling are symptoms of the bigger issue.  I believe an idol is anything that has more meaning or holds more value to us than God does.  I am seeking to watch television differently and less because viewing had become an idol.  I valued it more than God.

You might first be prone to think of idols as something bigger or more observable.  For believers, television watching is something that Jesus should be honored in, of course.  Yet, there is no real consideration, effort, or intentionality toward how He will be honored there.  In my viewing life, I valued the experience more than the One the experience should be about. 

This may seem small to some, but let me say it again… I CARED MORE ABOUT TELEVISION WATCHING THAN JESUS!  That is scary!  There was a load of rebellion stored in what might seem to be a little harmless habit. 

One characteristic of our comfort idols is that they tend to function in teams.  My over-intake of TV was often enjoyed while overstaying time in bed.  Bed is a place designed for your comfort.  We can become quite excellent at feasting on what we think will bring internal comfort from our thrones of external comfort. 

Food was another facet of my television-comfort-combo meal.  I like to eat when watching TV.  I take comfort in comfort foods.  (Why is it that none of the foods that help our health seem to be able to crossover to the category of foods that bring us comfort?  Do a Google search for comfort foods.  I bet you find a lot of carbohydrates and sugars.  I bet you won’t see much kale.)

Even in seasons of sickness, I have eaten for comfort instead of health.  Food is fuel for our bodies.  The fuel I was putting in was not making me BETTER, but it was making me MOMENTARILY HAPPY as the warmth of my brain’s response washed over me.  It was pleasure.  Fleeting pleasure, yes, but pleasure.  It was treating my body not like a temple but like a couch, a comfy place where naps can happen quickly.  It was comfortable garbage providing a cozy spot for my soul to lounge instead of moving forward with seeking health in and from Jesus.  It was sin.

I have heard people speak of your thought life and say that garbage going in produces garbage coming out.  The same is true of our bodies.  I was willingly and repetitively choosing comfort over obedience.

Before you grab a cookie and close the book, I’m not saying that we should never eat sweets or enjoy things that taste good.  My problem was not a scoop of ice cream here or there, it was regularly overeating, especially in connection with relaxing in front of a screen.  It was the fact that my so-called comfort foods were actually causing me to feel bad physically.  They tasted sweet but brought numerous negative effects.  Like you, I had heard the messages about healthy eating, I knew the way that a regular diet of comfort foods worked against me. 

If I was randomly stopped by a stranger and asked if I would participate in an act that I knew was bad for me, my answer would likely be an instinctive, No.  Yet, I was answering that question with the yes of my choices over and over again.  Idols of comfort lead us to this path, to willfully choosing that which is destructive for us.

Television.  Food.  There were many others for me in this season of my life.  Momentarily, I will touch on a few that you might share with me.  Before doing so, though, I want to be clear on the fact that comfort is not necessarily a bad thing in every instance.

I think it can be OK to do some things that make you comfortable.  I think it is OK to come home and get in comfortable clothes or to sit in a favorite chair.  There is a whole lot right about enjoying a favorite food every once-in-a-while even if it does not fit within a strict diet.  The problem is not with enjoying things, it is with enjoying them too much.  The problem is not letting gifts from God bring you some comfort, it is in living such that you cannot or will not be content without them.

Trust me, you do not want God to push into you with the message that you are too comfortable.  It is not pleasant to walk through a season of life in which He is pointing out multiple pockets of faithless comfort.  It is uncomfortable, painful even, when you know that you need to change.  God wants us to be holy like He is.  This necessitates His disapproval for all the comforts in our lives that are not Christlike.  While humbling us is a good work that God does for us, we would be much wiser to trust and obey Him by following His command to humble ourselves… even in our comforts.

Could it be that the Holy Spirit might be prompting you about comforts in your life?

We all like to be comfortable.  I like cool temperatures because they are comfortable to me.  As a guy with a big frame, I like to wear my clothes bigger and baggier because it is comfortable.  I bet you are like me.  We walk through our days making many or most of our decisions based around our comfort. 

If you live your life only for comfort, you may never know what it is like to rely on God.  Think about how uncomfortable Jesus’ life was.

If you believe what the Bible has to say about Heaven, Jesus is a big deal there.  He is the name that is above every name.  He lived in a perfect place where angels constantly worship Him and sing His praises.  Yet, we are told He chose to step away from all of this. 

Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though He was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but He emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.  And being found in human form, He humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.  – Philippians 2:5-8

If you read a bit father, verses 9-10 confirm what I mentioned earlier.  Jesus is the name above every other.  His name is the highest.  His power is unrivaled.  He is equal with God.  Yet, he chose love over comfort.  He left comfort to empty Himself for people who take Him for granted.  I know this because I am one of those people.

If He is holy and we are truly enamored with Him and all He has done, we will desire to obey His call to be holy like He is.  The hard question, then, is this:  what are you currently comfortable with that is not holy?

OUCH!  I know.  Remember, God’s been working on this in me for three years.  Remember, I love comfort.

John the Baptist was a cousin of Jesus and a critical figure in bringing Jesus’ story into the world.  His was miraculously born to an esteemed family within God’s people.  His life was marked for grand purpose from the beginning.  Yet, as the time arrived for Jesus ministry to expand in deed and clout, John the Baptist did not try to step into the limelight with Jesus or taste the benefits of recognition that might be coming Jesus’ way.  Instead, he took a step back. 

He must increase and I must decrease.  – John 3:30

In a moment when it could have seemed that all of his dedication and hard work was going to pay off in the pleasures and perks of being connected to the star of the story, John the Baptist stepped away from self-interest and proclaimed Jesus.

I love and wrestle with this verse.  Would we have forsaken comfort in the same way for the sake of Christ?

The reality is that my comfort is so hard to deny because it is centered around myself.  Former NFL football star Terrell Owens has been known to boldly state the sentiment that churns in our humanity. 

I love me some me! – Terrell Owens

This is true for all of us.  A hardwiring in our beings that Jesus is healing.  But, the remnants still remain.  We love us some us. 

You can live your life based on self-love.  You can live life your own way.  It just will not be as good as you pretend.

Maybe you are like me in that I cannot be told that I am wrong.  I often have to discover it myself and work through it on my own.  I’ve been known to fall into a dark hole for seasons of life, knowing that my friends are lovingly talking, wondering, and worrying about me.  These deep holes are usually of my own doing.  They come about when I try to fix myself.  Ironically, my attempts at fixing me only cause the sickness to linger longer. 

If I had to put a name on this phenomenon in my life it would be sweatpants seasons.  I love comfy sweat pants.  The uglier the better.  Ugly, worn-out sweatpants should be an all-occasions attire.  When you see me wearing them often, though, it may be symptomatic of a down season.  It is my way of reminding myself that I do not care what others think.  I am using my wardrobe as an insulation against the input of others, even the others that love me. 

Sadly, when I am in a sweatpants season, I am usually barely making it.  Regardless of what my outward interactions say, I am struggling inwardly, just trying to hang on.  Under the surface, somewhere deep, I am begging God to rescue me.

I don’t sink quickly like Peter did when taking his gaze off of Jesus during his faith stroll on wave tops.  I methodically wreck everything.  When the tailspin starts slowly, I run to comfort instead of Christ and things get worse.  It is all my fault.

God’s plan is not for me to live in long-lasting shame over this realization.  But, or maybe I should say, therefore, I must take ownership for my comfort cycle. 

How many sweatpants seasons and comfort cycles have you lived in?  Are you in one now?  How did you get there?

I have had my fair share and now see a variety of catalysts.

Disappointment strikes me deeply, especially in the realm of romantic relationships.  I have loved a few ladies.  They probably love me back, but not in the I want to spend the rest of my life as your wife way. 

One thing that has made these scenes of life harder for me is that I have not always listened well.  I have not always heard the other person accurately.  I am so encouraged by her and aiming to be so positive and encouraging for her that true perception does not permeate my bubble of butterflies.  She can be saying things to me that others could grasp from a mile away but I am tone deaf from affection. 

A couple of examples…

I love being around you, tends to mean the person enjoys your company but does not foresee the two of you sharing a minivan in the future.

I love your personality, is a kind and encouraging way to avoid talking about the characteristics that are prohibiting romance.

These are code for, "I like you, I do not like-like you."

I am thinking we should not be together, as hard as it is to believe, is usually not a way of saying that her affections for me have reached such a strong level that caution should be employed.

I can joke now, but, to love and not receive love is crushing.  It is tough to put yourself out there only to realize that you are there solo.  (If you have found your lobster, the one Phoebie from Friends talked about, do not take it for granted.  Treat them well.)  I want the best for the people that I love.  If the truth is told, I probably think I am the best for the one I love.  If I want what is best for them and I am who is best for them, why cannot I not gain their love? 

Short of forcible coercion, you cannot cause people to do things.  Even under coercion, you cannot force genuine love from others.  In the grand scheme of things, I know that my inability to cause others to love me romantically is a good thing.  In the limited perspective, though, I have spent many hours walking and praying, asking God why He would not let me love this or that woman.  Lyrics from a song whose title escapes me are the perfect soundtrack for these moments.

I was walking away from you for the last time, looking down at my shoes.  The space is growing as my heart is breaking more and more.

What I do not know is whether I will ever find this type of love.  What I do know is that God knows the outcomes, protects me for my good, and is enough for me.  If He does not give me this dream, I am surrendered to His way.  This is not easy to write.  It is even harder to live.

Maybe the realm of romantic relationship is not a struggle for you because you have met your lobster or are happy to do lobster life alone with Jesus.  Either could be true of you.  What is true of us all in a myriad of relational contexts, though, is that isolation is painful.  We were created to need each other. 

There is comfort to be found in not putting your life out there with others, but it is of course short-lived.