Growing up Perfect

By Lawrence Caplan

A young boy, his troubled but loving mother, and their shared obsession with the 1970's Miami Dolphins.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Aug 2, 2022
• ISBN: 9781665566988

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© 2022 Lawrence Caplan. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 07/29/2022

ISBN: 978-1-6655-6699-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6655-6697-1 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-6655-6698-8 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2022914103

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

CONTENTS

Preface

Introduction

PART 1: The Browns

Chapter 1December, 1964-This Is Why They Play The Games

Chapter 2The Ticket

Chapter 3Summer, 1966-Exodus From C-Town

Chapter 4Fall 1966-January, 1970

Chapter 5Super Bowl III-The NFL Eats Crow

Chapter 61969-A Year Of Transition

Chapter 71970-Into The Portal…And Flip!

PART 2: The Dolphins

Chapter 81970-A New Sheriff Comes To Town

Chapter 9Fall 1970-The Birth Of Mnf

Chapter 10Fall 1970-The Brownies Pay A Visit

Chapter 11Dine And Dash

Chapter 12Fall 1970-Revenge Served Very Cold

Chapter 13There Might Be No There There…But The Dolphins Were!

Chapter 14Winter 1970- The Blunder Bowl

Chapter 15Fall 1971-The Dolphin Express at 1AM!

Chapter 16Fall 1971-Fit To Be Tied

Chapter 17Fall 1971-The Curse Of The Poly-Turf

Chapter 18Fall 1971--Seriously, Who Are These Guys?

Chapter 19Fall 1971-Shrimp Impala

Chapter 20Fall 1971- Going Viral Against Pittsburgh

Chapter 21Fall 1971-El Portal Becomes La Celda

Chapter 22Winter 1971- The Longest Day/Night

Chapter 23Winter 1971-Where the Hell are the Tickets?

Chapter 24Winter 1971- America’s Team Indeed

Chapter 25Setting The Table-Summer 1972

Chapter 26Mom Takes The Initiative-Summer 1972

PART 3: The Perfect Season

Week 1-Miami 20-Kansas City 10- September 17, 1972

Chapter 27The Longest Trip Solo

Week 2-Miami 34-Houston 13- September 24, 1972

Chapter 28Haulover Duck Duck Goose!

Week 3-Miami 16-Minnesota 14- October 1, 1972

Chapter 29New York State Of Mind

Week 17-Miami 14-Washington 7- October 8, 1972

Chapter 30Old Man Earl To The Rescue

Week 5-Miami 24-San Diego 10- October 15, 1972

Chapter 31The Little Tiemaker Saves The Day

Week 6-Miami 24-Buffalo 23- October 22, 1972

Chapter 32All Brains And A Little Brawn

Week 7-Miami 23- Baltimore 0-October 29, 1972

Chapter 33Tic-Tac-Toe Vs. Einstein

Week 8-Miami 30-Buffalo 16-November 4, 1972

Chapter 34Blue Light Special

Week 9-Miami 52-New England 0-November 12 1972

Chapter 35What Exactly Is A Rosicrucian Anyway?

Week 10-Miami-28-New York 24- November 19, 1972

Chapter 36Miami Late Night TV-Part I

Week 11-Miami 31-St. Louis 10 (MNF)- November 27, 1972

Chapter 37Miami Late Night TV (Part II)

Week 12-Miami 37-New England 21- December 3, 1972

Chapter 38Seriously Who Cheats At Scrabble?

Week 13-Miami 23-New York Giants 13- December 10, 1972

Chapter 39Mom Teaches Tennis On The Side

Week 14- Miami 16-Baltimore 0- December 16, 1972

Chapter 40So Am I Still A Browns Fan? (Answer: No!)

Week 15-Miami 20-Cleveland 14- December 24, 1972

Chapter 41Immaculate Reception Or Deception?

Chapter 42No I Am Not Talking To My Dad!

Week 16-Miami 21-Pittsburgh 17- December 31, 1972

Chapter 43Perfection

Week 17- Miami 14- Washington 7- January 14, 1973

Chapter 441973… And Beyond

Postscript

DEDICATION

Dedicated to my late mother Beverly, who taught me to never give

up and always look forward, and who provided me with the "perfect/

imperfect childhood"; and to my son Benjamin, who makes each and

every day of my life perfect in some new and unexpected way.

PREFACE

As I write this book, I am in the process of recovering from major brain surgery to remove an extremely rare tumor. The surgery was successful and the tumor was removed but my doctors have no idea if and when the tumor might return. So you could say that I am writing this on borrowed time. But I have put all of my heart and soul into it as it reflects the story of my life as a child and young teenager growing up in Miami in the early 1970’s. And of course the Miami Dolphins were a huge part of my childhood. It is at once, a personal recollection of those magical times, when a football team reached the brass ring of perfection, while at the very same time, a love letter of sorts to my late mother, Beverly, who will be gone thirty years this summer.

In writing this book, I do not attempt to whitewash the many travails and personal crises that my mother and I faced during those special times together. My mother, during my youth, suffered from a very severe addiction to both alcohol and amphetamines, and there many times when she might have just given up, as her own mother had done many years before. But my mother fought through her demons, beat her addiction, and then during law school at the University of Florida, I drove five hours home in order to help her enter rehab for alcohol addiction, which she also defeated with considerable effort. Later she completed the triple crown by quitting smoking cold turkey, and she once told me that of the three, quitting cigarettes was by far the hardest. After she died from breast cancer in 1992, I had any number of young people seek me out to let me know how much my mom had helped them deal with their own addictions as a drug and alcohol abuse counselor, and lifelong member of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). Needless to say, I am very proud of my mother, and I know that her inner strength and fortitude, as well as uncanny ability to play piano by ear, lives on in my own son Benjamin.

I truly hope that I am around long enough to see him go off to college and hopefully play varsity golf for a college team, which is current dream. But I KNOW that even if I should not make it that far, the street smarts he inherited from his late grandfather, as well as the guts and determination which he had received from his grandmother, will carry him far in life. And I will always be there in some way to cheer him on. That is what parents are here to do, no matter from where we may do it.

I hope that you enjoy Growing Up Perfect, as much as I have enjoyed writing it. All of the stories may not be in exact chronological order but I assure you, the reader, that they all did in fact happen. As crazy as that might seem. It truly was a childhood of Growing Up Perfect, and my love and passion for Miami Dolphins football, even if never quite as perfect as it was that one magical season, will never die.

INTRODUCTION

For many years, I was absolutely sure that the very first National Football League game I had even attended was the 1964 NFL Championship game between the Cleveland Browns and Baltimore Colts. While I had grown up in Miami with my mother, Beverly, in early 1964 I was sent to Cleveland to live with my maternal grandfather Harvey Brenner, as my mother had taken a job as a sales rep for a large real estate development firm in Freeport, Bahamas, and they felt that I was better off, at least for the time being, living with my grandfather. My uncle, Robert also lived in the house in Cleveland, as he had finished college a couple years earlier and had come home to work for my grandfather. My uncle had actually been a backup linebacker at Ohio State for Woddy Hayes, and had for one year, roomed with Tom matte, who would go on to have an illustrious career with the Colts I the NFL. But more on that later. In the fall of 1964, I was all of 6 and was in the fist grade at Mercer Elementary in Shaker Heights, a leafy Cleveland suburb. I of course missed my Mom and was getting used to theserious change in temperatrure between South Florida and Northeast Ohio, but was also excited about the upcoming football season. I had been reading a book on the history of the Browns and how Paul Brown had led them from a humble beginning in the All-Amercian Football Conference, winning the title all four years of its existence, to winning the NFL Championship in their very first year in the league in 1950. That year the Borwns had beaten the Los Angeles Rams in the championship game, 30-28, and the Rams were considered to be one of the NFL’s elite teams with Norm Van Brocklin and Bob Waterfield as their tandem dup of star quaterbacks. Ironically, the Rams had originated in Cleveland and had moved to Tinseltown in 1946 as the Browms came ionto the new AAFC. Of note, the Rams had won the NFL title their very last year in Cleveland before heading west. My uncle Robert told me that he remembered that game beijng played at old League park before the Browns moved into Municipal Stadium which was the home of the Indians. Anyway, by the time that the 1964 season rolled around, I was firmly entrenched as a Browns fan and had most of their football cards. But I had not yet actually made it to a Browns game.

In the summer of 1964 it was decided that I should go to Northeast Ohio to live with my grandfather amd two uncles as my mother had taken a new job in Freeport, Grand Bahama and the family thought that it would be best for me to be with her family while she got settled. I was naturally very escited to be moving up north as I loved my grandfather, Harvey Brenner and my two uncles Robert and Jimmy. Robert was 25 and had graduated from Ohiop State where he been a backup linebacker on one of Woody Hayes’ early teams. His claim to fame was that for one year he roomed with Tom Matte, a running back who would later play in the NFL for the Baltimore Colts. My younger uncle, Jimmy was 20 and was in college at Ohio University I Athens where he was studying psychology. He would come back home to Cleveland quite oftenand he was like a big brother to me. I was very close with my uncle Robert, who was living back home while working at my granfather’s trucking company, and he often took me alomng on his dates as I guess he had figured out that the girls really liked me and thought it was coll that he was so close to his young nephew.

I can recall his taking me to Euclid Beach and Geauga Lake amusement parks and since he was such a great athlete, he would always win the huge stuffed aniimals and give me one to bring home. Robert played all sports but excelled at baseball and even made it into the Philadelphia Phillies farm system. If it weren’t for his struggles with the curve ball, I am very confident that he would have made it to the big leagues.

My grandfather, Harvey was almost 60 and was a very successful businessman in Cleveland, having one of the largest truck and heavy equipment companies in the great lakes region. He was also a member at Beechmont Country Club where he was an excellent golfer and won a number of club tournaments. He also had struck up a close friendship with Art Modell, who had come to Cleveland from New York in 1962 to buy the Browns. Modell actually didn’t have a lot of cash, but he was very good at convincing others who did to help bankroll him. At that time, you could still buy an NFL team without being a billionaire, and in ’62, Modell managed to pull it off becoming the managing partner of the Cleveland Browns. Not long after buying the team, he shocked the football world byu firing the venerable Paul Brown, who had formed the Browns back in 1946 in the ALL American Football Conference (AAFC) and gone on to win several NFL Championships, including in the very first year that the Browns had joined the NFL in 1950. Brown had somehow managed to beat the Los Angeles Rams, who were one of the NFL’s premier franchises 30-28, which stands as the only time that a professional team in its very first year had won the league championship. Also ironic was that the Rams had begun their history in the NFL as the Cleveland Rams playing in old League Park, before they bolted for the greener pastures of Hollywood in 1946. In fact, the year before they left town, they had won the NFL Championship as the Cleveland Rams with future hall of Famer Bob Waterfield as their quarterback.

Anyhow, in 1964 I had moved from my home in Miami to live with my grandfather Harvey Brenner in Cleveland, while my mother had taken a job in Freeport, Grand Bahama with a real estate development company. My grandfather thought it best that I come to live with him while my mother got settled in to her new job and a new country. I was naturally very excited about coming to live with my grandfather who I loved very much and my uncle Jim, who was spending many weekends at home while he attended college. My older uncle, Robert was also living at home as he had graduated from Ohio State and was helping out at my grandfather’s trucking business.

Needless to say, life in Northeast Ohio was a bit of a culture shock after having spent my formative years in the sunny warmth of South Florida. Cleveland was generally gray and got cold even in early September, as the winds off of Lake Erie began to howl. I also recall an early season snowstorm hitting the are in September when I had just begun first grade at Mercer Elementary. Since there were no women in the house, save for our housekeeper and cook, Evelyn (my grandmother had unexpectedly died in 1957 a year before I was born), my grandfather arranged for an au pair to live with us named Marietta. She was originally from Stockholm and was blonde and pretty. How she had wound up in NE Ohio I never quite figured out.

Life in Cleveland was very regimented as I got up early every AM to eat my breakfast, get ready for school, and then head out with Marietta to the bus stop just at the end of our block. Every AM around 8 the bright yellow school bus would stop to take me to Mercer where I made friends easily. But soon I began to collect pro football cards which came with every pack of bubble gum (no I do not remember the brand!) and soon I had acquired quite a collection including several members of the Browns. I had Gary Collins (#86) the rangy flanker from Maryland who it was said could catch anything thrown within 5 yards of him. I had landed a Paul Warfield rookie card, who had been the Browns #1 draft pick after the previous year, and was a standout wide receiver from nearby Ohio State. Warfield was medium height, fleet and had great hands. He had budding star written all over him. I also had a few of the Browns defensive starters, including Jim Kanicki, Bernie Parrish (from my later law school alma matter the University of Florida) and Walter Johnson, a star defensive lineman.

However, the crown jewel of my Browns card collection was of course, #32, fullback Jim Brown, who had come to the Browns in 1957 from Syracuse, which would become the hallowed ground of many star NFL backs over the years. Everyone who watched professional football knew exactly who Jim Brown was, as he was the incomparable star of the National Football League in the early 60’s. Over his very brief nine year career, Brown would rush for 12,312 years and lead the league in rushing for 8 out of his nine years (Jim Taylor of the Packers only managed to top him in ’63). Brown was a giant of a man, all muscle, strong as an ox and fleet as the wind. Teams who played against the Browns would key their entire defense to stopping him and take their chances with the rest of the Browns’ potent offense.

Brown was also an excellent pass receiver, though in those days, running backs rarely were called upon to catch passes out of the backfield. Brown was also known for getting up slowly from the massive piles of humanity that it took to bring him down. He told teammates, if I got up slowly every time I was tackled, they would never actually know when I had been hurt. The one and seemingly only knock on Jim Brown was that he did not like to block for other backs or from his QB when he went back to pass. But that was something that the Browns could manage to overlook.

Which brings us to QB which was very much an enigma for an early 1960’s NFL team. Star QB’s in the NFL had up until this time been in the mold of swashbuckling slingin’ Sammy Baugh of the Redskins (oops…Commanders!), hard living Bobby Layne of the Lions, and Johnny Unitas of the Baltimore Colts who had been the most recent star of the NFL, having won championships in ’58 and ’59 against the NY Giants, the first of which was won in overtime, the very first overtime game in the history of the NFL.

So the Browns much have had just such a bigger than life QB to man their star studded offense of 1964 you say? Well not quite. In 1964, the Browns starting QB was named Frank Ryan, who wore the highly unusual (for the time) #13 and who had come to the Browns in a trade from those same Los Angeles Rams who had originated in Cleveland. Ryan was quiet, not brash, soft spoken, not loud, had went to college at that hotbed of collegiate athletics, Rice University in Houston (note: my Dolphins would wind up winning their second straight Super Bowl at Rice Stadium in early 1974).

But perhaps most unusual about Frank Ryan was that he was a mathematician, and I do mean a professional one. He already had a Bachelors degree with Honors in math, and he would go on to obtain Masters’ and Ph.D’s in higher mathematics from Rice in his offseasons. To say that Frank Ryan was a nerd, a geek or just about anything other than the typical jock playing pro football was the absolute truth. Ryan was beyond the thinking man’s QB he was a genius Q" and Paul Brown had been the perfect coach to take Ryan under his wing. Under the tutelage of Brown, Frank Ryan had gone from a misfit to a star, soaking in all of the knowledge and football wisdom that Brown had to offer. And he had a very lot to offer.

Soon Ryan had risen to the near top of the NFL QB pedestal, being talked about as a true up and comer and possible successor to Unitas’ crown. But rest assured, in 1964 there were a number of other great QB’s in the NFL, like the Packers’ Bart Starr and the Giants’ Y.A. Tittle who also were gunning for the top rung. The year before, a veritable no-name Bill Wade, whose card I also had, had taken the Chicago Bears under George Papa Bear Halas to the NFL Championship, dealing the Giants their fifth loss in the Championship game in the past six years. The tight end on the Bears team was a guy you might have heard of. His name was Mike Ditka and he was already a star.

The point being that it was no sure thing that Mr., soon to be Dr., Frank Ryan was destined for anything other than quizzical looks at his relatively scrawny form. Though the Browns had their fair share of great players on offense, and had a formidable front line, their defense was composed of a bunch of no-namers (and yes, that sobriquet could be used once again but a few years later down South) The Browns’ defense was known as a bend but not break group, meaning that offenses would have to slowly make their way down the field and then usually have to settle for field goals. I could name the starting defense for the 1964 Browns and I would be willing to bet that you would recognize a single one save for perhaps Walter Johnson, who would wind up making several Pro Bowl teams.

But perhaps the single most interesting member of the Browns team in 1964 was their placekicker Lou The Toe Groza. Groza had been a charter member of the original Browns back in 1946 when played both on the front line and also handled the kicking duties. Needless to say, Groza was a straight on kicker and was extremely old school. Rumor had it that the Browns had a rocking chair placed in their locker room for old Lou’ who was in his 18th year with the team in ’64. But don’t misunderstand, Groza was still one of the most accurate placekickers in all the NFL and when the Browns desperately needed a FG when the offense had been shit down, they could always count on The Toe" to deliver the three points for them. And that ability would become key to the Browns winning the championship in ’64.

And so the weeks went by in the fall of 1964, and I became a straight A student at Mercer Elementary and even persuaded (which it was not that heard to do!) my uncle Robert to take me to Euclid Beach amusement park right on the shores of Lake Erie one Saturday. When I told my Mom on the phone that we were going to Euclid Beach, she was very excited for me and regaled me with stories of when she was growing up and got to go to the park and how much she loved the giant coasters, at least one of which actually soared over the edge of the Lake. Mighty scary…even just on the phone. But much much scarier for a 6 year old once I was actually strapped in! The bottom line is that I survived Euclid Beach and each and every Sunday when the Browns were paying on the road I would watch the games on CBS with my uncle and grandfather. On Sundays when the Brownies were playing at home, while my uncle and grandfather went downtown to Municipal Stadium to watch the games from their first row upper deck seats on the 45 yard line (my grandfather had first gotten those seats in 1950 when the Browns entered the NFL) I would dutifully listen to the game on the radio on what I believe was WERE AM radio. Now I am not going to tell you that I fully understood every twist and turn of the game, but I found that by listening on the radio, I did manage to learn the rules and the myriad penalties pretty quickly. Soon I knew a few basic things: First, the Browns first offensive play from scrimmage would be an inside handoff to halfback Ernie Green, whose primary job in life was to block for Jim Brown. But for some untold reason, Paul Brown had decided that Green ought to get the very first carry of the game as though to thank him for all his efforts in blocking for Brown and Ryan on passing plays.

Secondly, I knew that Jim Brown was going to be involved in most of the offense’ plays usually running the ball from scrimmage but every so often sneaking out of the backfield to catch a pass from Ryan and then with a head of steam dare any insane defender to attempt to stop him. Sam Huff, the Hall of Fame linebacker for the NY Giants once said that trying to tackle Jim Brown with a head of steam was basically taking your life in your hands and hoping for the best. Not to be outdone, Brown in turn called Huff, the single toughest defender he ever faced in his nine years in the NFL. Lastly, I learned pretty quickly that Paul Warfield was a not so secret weapon that the Browns were unveiling each and every week, and slowly forcing defenses to double team him while still keying on Brown for the most part. In sum, the Browns offense was a very scary machine, and that isn’t even accounting for Gary Collins and the outstanding tight end, Jim Brewer.

What is particularly amazing about the Browns offense is that a couple of years before, the Browns had traded flanker Bobby Mitchell, who was a future Hall of Famer in his own right, to the Washington (then) Redskins for their #1 pick in the following year’s draft, which was due to the Redskins’ woeful year, the top pick in the draft. And with that pick, the Browns selected Ernie Davis, the nation’s number one college running back, from Syracuse of course. The mere thought of having Jim Brown and Ernie Davis in the same backfield threw shudders through the entire NFL, and the prospect was for the Browns to be practically unbeatable in the coming years.

But fate often throws its ugliest wrench into the best laid plans of the brightest of us all. During the preseason of that year, Davis began experiencing terrible stomach pains and the Browns sent him to a number of doctors who were unable to determine the source of his pains. Finally, a renowned oncologist discovered that Davis was suffering from acute lymphocytic leukemia (ALL) which was a disease most often found in children. While the Browns spared no expenses in providing Davis with the best treatment for leukemia known to man, at that time, there was no known cure for this often deadly illness. And so, it came to pass that Ernie Davis, the star of American college football, would never pay a single down of football in the NFL. Ernie Davis died on May 18, 1963 of leukemia, and the Browns