An Impotent Rake

By Emilie Jacobsen

How can I ever be happy, when I have fallen in love with a man who does not believe in love?

 

The former courtesan Alicia has made a name for herself as a sex therapist for members of the ton. She is both surprised and intrigued when Miles, the Earl of Lindley and one of the most notorious rakes in London, shows up for a consultation.

 

Miles is desperate to have his problem fixed and be able to continue his nightly activities. Even desperate enough to that he seeks out the attractive Alicia that he enjoyed a brief affair with.

 

The two starts working on his problem and fast builds a friendship while they find that their attraction to each other is still there. But with the differences in their ranks, Miles's upcoming marriage, and the fact that he does not even believe in love, it seems impossible that Alicia will enjoy her happy ever after with him.

 

If you like steamy stories from the Georgian or Regency Era, this novella might be for you.

 

An Impotent Rake is the first book in the series Unsuitable and Insatiable. It is a Historical Regency Romance of about 38.000 words (about 130 pages) about overcoming both your own believes as well as those of society to have your happy ending.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Emilie Jacobsen
• Release date: Jul 17, 2022
• ISBN: 9798201369194

Emilie Jacobsen

Emilie Jacobsen writes romantic fantasy novels inspired by medieval history. Her first book, The Alchemist's Daughter, was published in 2022.  She lives in Copenhagen, Denmark, with her family. 

Book preview

One

London, 1805

Miss Delilah, Lord Lindley is waiting for you in the purple drawing room, her short, stout housekeeper Martha said when Alicia emerged from her dressing room after having changed her clothes to her dullest dress. Despite her housekeeper being one of the only persons who knew Alicia’s real name, she still used her alias even when they were speaking in private.

Right; thank you, Martha, Alicia said as she tried to take a steadying breath without the housekeeper noticing. Will you have Jane bring a tray of tea and biscuits?

Of course, miss, Martha said.

So, he was early, Alicia thought as she descended the stairs to the second-floor landing. Or not that much early, she realized as she saw the clock on a side table in the hallway. She had been taking longer readying herself than she had thought.

She took another steadying breath before she entered the purple drawing room. He could not know how he affected her. Given that he was here, he needed her help, and she would aid him as best she could, disregarding her own desire for him.

Lord Lindley, she said in a friendly tone of voice as she entered the room.

The tall, dark-haired man immediately rose from the deep crimson velvet armchair and took a couple of paces toward her. Alicia extended her hand toward him to shake his hand. She had already learned that it was easier if she was firm on this point. Her status made many gentlemen unsure how to greet her. But if she took initiative to shake hands as a business partner, she hoped to ease some of their confusion — and to establish herself as more of an equal rather than have them thinking of her as a woman.

Lord Lindley shook her hand, and Alicia was surprised by how warm his hand was. Even with gloves on. It reminded her how warm the rest of his body was, releasing a small swarm of butterflies low in her stomach.

His smile was a bit wolfish and there was a gleam of humor in his dark brown eyes as he let go of her hand and she felt certain that he had seen right through her.

Please take a seat, Alicia said as she walked to sit on the couch opposite the chair that he had occupied. The couch was made of fine golden silk that Alicia had thought matched the other colors of the room well, but that she had soon discovered tended to stain easily.

Given how fond her last patron, the Duke of Camborne, had been of having relations on the couch, she had soon learned how to embroider it with violet flowers to cover the stains. Even though she could have asked Martha or the maid, Jane, to remove the stains, she drew a limit there. They took care of her bed linen and dresses that, of course, got covered in all sorts of different substances; she did not want them scrubbing away stains from her couch as well.

Lord Lindley had sat down in the chair again and was looking smugly at her. Alicia tried to smile pleasantly, reminding herself that it was the earl, and not she, who had a problem. Usually, people would start talking on their own, but the earl seemed uninclined to do so.

So, Lord Lindley, I assume that you have an issue of a more delicate manner, since you have come to see me? she could not help but ask, trying to hide both the mirth from her voice and the smile from her face.

Lord Lindley had been known as the most notorious rake among the London ton since he had been little more than a boy. Already in his early twenties, he had started earning his reputation as both a skilled lover and seducer of young widows and unhappy wives.

Alicia could hardly blame them; the man practically oozed sex with his curly brown hair that was always lavishly styled, his impeccable clothes showing of his broad shoulders, narrow hips, and strong thighs in just the right way, and, most importantly, his eyes that were able to make you feel like you were the only woman in the world worth looking at.

Miss Delilah, I never knew that your taste was so elegant, he said, and she noticed that he deliberately did not answer her question.

He looked around the room, and Alicia could not help but follow his gaze as he took in the seating area, the heavy golden curtains making it possible to keep both sunlight and prying eyes out, the mahogany desk by the window, and the cabinet with a glass front by the door to the purple bedroom. His gaze stayed at the cabinet, seemingly trying to take everything in, and Alicia could not blame him. It was full of phallic figures and statues of fertility and womanhood.

Thank you, Lord Lindley. Feel free to examine the cabinet more closely, if you like, she said with a gesture of her hand toward the cabinet.

This made his attention snap back to her, as he shook his head with a smile.

No, I’ll decline, but I must say that it is an impressive collection. Almost as impressive as the Marquis of Riplingham’s. Although I don’t believe he collects the female figurines as well, Lord Lindley added.

The Marquis of Riplingham was notoriously known as an eccentric and his collection of phallic statues and even dried animal penises were a public secret around the ton.

Well, I’m not in competition with the marquis, Alicia said, wondering why he procrastinated. It was not like the Lord Lindley she knew.

She would have assumed that he would jump straight into whatever was his problem. She had given it quite a lot of thought since he had sent a card a week ago requesting a meeting with her. Could it be that he was not able to please his mistress? Or maybe he was too large to penetrate her? She had even considered whether he wanted to make use of her registry of men who liked sleeping with other men. Perhaps he wanted to experiment. Or wanted to get in contact with women who liked sleeping with other women and watch them during the act.

No, I don’t think you would win that competition, Lord Lindley said and shifted a little in his seat, adjusting his dark blue jacket. His clothes were more subdued than his typical fashion, but then again, she had only seen him at balls, and even then, only at balls where a courtesan was allowed to participate. Perhaps he always dressed more modestly during the day.

Have you heard the rumor that Louis the XVI’s penis was cut off after his death? I heard that the Marquis of Riplingham has spent fortunes trying to track it down, Lord Lindley said with the boyish expression men always had on their faces when talk of their appendage arose.

Alicia pursed her lips, shook her head a little and almost crossed her arms, but ended up training them to remain by her side.  

I find it disgusting, I have to say. A man’s body parts should be buried along with him, no matter how interesting they are.

Lord Lindley smiled sincerely.

Well, I can’t argue with you on that point, he said and leaned forward a little, looking intently at her.

Alicia again had the feeling that he was able to see straight through her and looked away toward the cabinet. She took a steadying breath, but instead of calming her, it only showed her how dangerously close to crying she was.

This is personal to you somehow, Lord Lindley said, frowning.

Alicia looked astonished at him. There was no reason why she should confide this in him, but looking into his dark eyes, she felt she wanted to. And besides, she argued with herself, if she shared a personal story, perhaps it would make it easier for him to tell her about his problem.

My grandmother’s body was dug up by body snatchers, she said, still getting a sickening feeling when she thought of it. I understand the need to evolve medicine, but I can’t see that it needs to be at the expense of other people not being allowed to rest in peace.

She felt her voice vibrate and become thinner. She looked away and took several deep breaths before she was able to look at Lord Lindley again. There was a look somewhere between astonishment and disgust on his face. She quickly folded her hands in her lap, trying to regain her composure and fall into the role that she had carefully carved for herself; the former courtesan who was now helping the upper classes with their sexual problems.

So, Lord Lindley, enough about me. You obviously have a reason to come and see me?

Lord Lindley shifted in his chair, leaned back, then leaned forward again, resting his elbows on his knees and steepling his fingers. He opened his mouth to speak, but at that moment, Jane, the maid, entered with the tray of tea.

Alicia could have cursed at her, but she had asked for the tea herself. She had thought that it would both make the meeting more relaxed and make her forget about her desire. Tea was not a drink one used for seduction. And Lord Lindley was not there to be seduced any way.

She poured the tea as best she could, feeling his eyes on her the entire time. Pouring tea seemed to be something that women of the ton spent hours upon hours learning. Alicia had never managed to learn it properly, at least not in a manner that did not show her background.

Lord Lindley, however, took the cup of tea without commenting.

I’m sorry about the interruption, she said as she was stirring the tea, dissolving the two lumps of sugar she had put in it. She will not be back unless I call for her. There will be no more interruptions, I promise.

Since she had added plenty of cream to the tea, she was already able to drink it, and took a sip, looking at Lord Lindley over the rim of the cup. He had not wanted anything in it and was simply holding it, waiting for it to cool. He carefully placed the cup on the table between them and then leaned back.

It’s very impressive what you’ve achieved, Miss Delilah, he said in a tone of voice that clearly showed Alicia that he did not feel in control, but that he tried to be. Going from a courtesan to . . .  what exactly is your title now?

Alicia shrugged.

I don’t think I have a title, and I don’t think I need one. I help people, as you know, with their more intimate problems.

She was about to add that it had to be the reason why he was there, but she did not want to push him. Clearly what he had to say was difficult and he needed time before he was able to confide in her. It was a more serious issue than she had thought. Could he have contracted a venereal disease? Of course, she could not offer any cures for those, but others had come to her asking for help.

At any rate it’s impressive. And you’ve helped so many, I understand, he went on.

Alicia simply smiled, keeping her mouth shut while doing it. If he was there to pry into the matter of others, he would not succeed. She never disclosed the secrets of the people that came to her.

It had all started three years ago, when Lord Winterbottom had come to seek her out. He was best friends with the Duke of Camborne, her former patron. Winterbottom seemed to have gathered from the duke that Alicia had helped the duke and his wife overcome difficulties in their marital relation,