Extraordinary Life of Crime Ii

By Arfer Apple

Twenty eight black comedy crime stories. The Extraordinary Life of Crime is about twenty eight individual unrelated crime today.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris AU
• Release date: Jun 9, 2022
• ISBN: 9781669888475

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Copyright © 2022 by Arfer Apple.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 06/07/2022

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Contents

Story 1     Return to the Scene

Story 2     The Twist

Story 3     The Teacher

Story 4     Making A Move

Story 5     Value of Friendship

Story 6     Twenty Years

Story 7     Musical Chairs

Story 8     Not Wanted Here

Story 9     Four Long Years

Story 10   Deja Vu

Story 11   L.G.B.Q.T.

Story 12   The Dog-Eat-Dog World

Story 13   Behind the Court

Story 14   Winni

Story 15   Uninvited Company

Story 16   Beating the Odds

Story 17   The Knives Are Out

Story 18   The Night Shift

Story 19   Twisted Truth

Story 20   The Arsonist

Story 21   The Rock and Roll Star

Story 22   The Tommy Saga

Story 23   The Triplets

Story 24   Mate’s Mate

Story 25   A Time Gone By

Story 26   The Thin Blue Line

Story 27   The Hunter

Story 28   Not Dark Yet

Author Biography

Synopsis

The Extraordinary Life of

Crime is about

Twenty-Eight Individual Unrelated

Crime Stories.

This book is dedicated to all

the people of the world who

like me have survived cancer,

and now continue to live

their lives once again.

Story 1

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Return to the Scene

Chief Inspector Gabriel Tyler was on route with Sgt Julian Purley to the Lion’s Head public house. A welcome home to the living legend of Berni Castleton, after spending twenty-eight years of a thirty-year prison sentence for removing the head of a rival family member with a wood choppers axe. I did find it very strange that his family reunion would be in the very bar that the crime was committed. The rival was Barry The Showman Madstone who also had a habit of the removal of people’s fingers with a small axe that he always carried inside his jacket; a meeting between the two men once close friends was just past midnight after the pub was empty of patrons. Avery Castleton the wife of Berni and a Camilla Alford the barmaid, plus Andy and Mike Castleton, Berni’s two sons. Leo Blake a six-foot seven hard man and body guard to Barry The Showman was also present. Within a few minutes, the voices were raised and everything went out of control with the head of Barry The Showman being removed from his body. One swift blow did the job with the axe, from behind Barry The Showman never saw it coming when it was reported he turned his back on Berni and went to walk away and leave the meeting. It was not a clean chop, with the head of Barry dangling on his neck and his eyes looking at Berni when he was holding on to the bar with one hand and trying to reach for his axe inside his jacket with the other. It was too little too late. When the police arrived Berni did admit to killing Barry after so many years of being friends only to become rivals in the so-called drug trade.

Berni in jail was known as the godfather treated with respect by everybody which did include the prison guards themselves. If he wanted to make a phone call to one of his sons, a prison guard would just hand him a mobile phone. While in jail the Castleton Empire had grown with the drug money. Not only the Lion’s Head but the Golden Jug and the Prince Albert the ‘Queens’ a gay pub and the Kings arms. The Marston family only had one pub The White Bird. It was the size of three normal pubs and a license to print money.

It was my job to go and inform Berni Castleton to follow the ground rules or he will be back in prison and his feet will not touch the ground a reception of about one hundred of close friends were there, most of them were either just out of prison or will be going to prison in the next couple of years, trying to be Mister Big Berni Castleton did not bother me. I did show up with my team of six detectives, plus a dozen uniform officers, it was what I call a welcome home from the police for Berni.

A quite word outside the pub entrance with Berni and I just hope he knew where he stood with me. Times have changed on the outside of Berni’s world. The police were no longer in his family pocket, and what he said now did not mean much at all. Just keep ya nose clean Berni was my passing word to him, standing with a smirk on his face. I heard his friend’s give one almighty cheer on his return, I imagine they thought that he had put me in my place, how wrong they would be in that matter.

My next stop was at the White Bird public house. Home to the Marston family. Mark and Jake and big sister Lily who had a mouth of her like a sewage plant. She objected in the media about Berni Castleton even being released from prison two years early. Both Mark and Jake were playing pool, big sister Lily was behind the bar and that well known local toe rag Leo Blake was trying to act tough to a couple of locals just before I walked in the door. Just with a couple of my detectives. I again laid down the ground rules I wanted no turf war with the Castleton family. I told the Marston Trio I had been to see Berni Castleton and laid down the ground rule to him and his family.

Leo Blake just started laughing a loud at us, a type of intimidation that had an effect on me. Something funny big fella? Leo Blake simply stopped laughing then.

Lily Marston decided to let me know, If they want fucking trouble, we will give it to them I just told Lily to take a chill pill on my way out of the pub. The White Bird.

We headed back to the office; I revised the death of Barry The Showman Marston. I looked at the pictures of his body, and dread the comments from the detectives. There was a old rumor that Avery Castleton was the one that swung the axe at Barry, the cut was more upward, like from a shorter person. I could understand Berni going to jail for his wife Avery. He would survive inside. It was like a holiday camp for him. I then had to go upstairs like a little boy lost to the headmaster’s office. My boss Gabriel Tyler acting Assistant Police Commissioner had wanted the second top job all his career. We in fact were both detectives once back in the old days. Gabriel knew how to suck up and I have no time for that hanky panky to reach the top-hard work and no back handers was my motto.

I headed for the animal enclosure our name for the staff canteen. I had the special beef and mushroom pie and creamed potatoes and peas. The pie was hunt for the mushroom and the creamed potatoes was full of lumps. The only good part of the lunch was the overcooked frozen peas even they had lost their colour green the afternoon was catch up on paper work something I always had a problem with. An invitation from Gabriel Tyler to pop out for a game of golf, I had to decline because being in the lower rank I had work to do. It rained most of the afternoon so golf would have been spent in the golf club bar, maybe I just should of gone along anyway.!! I was home in my sweet dreams in bed when my phone rang. It was Sgt Julian Purley with a update of a spray of bullets on the Charlwood Road at the Castleton family home, fifty yards down from the Lions Head public bar. Pepper spray of bullets both buildings will need a glazier in the morning.

I was up and about and on my way to the Lions Head. Every window in the public bar had free flow ventilation. The Castleton home downstairs was also been given a good pepper spray of bullets. Raging out of control Berni Castleton was telling me it was those bloody Marston boys who did this then to my surprise two petrol bombs had been thrown at the White Bird public house. Both petrol bombs missed their target and were quickly put out by Mark Marston who was standing guard outside after somebody phone him to let him know what had happen to the Castleton family. CCTV did show a blue holden and two teenagers wearing ski masks in the vehicle. One hour later the car was found burnt out just before the turn off to Mile End Estate. The car was found next to other stolen vechicle that had grown in number this year. I left my team and took one Detective Nash to visit the White Bird public house. The fire brigade was there but by the time they arrived Mark Marston had already put out both fires.

I had a statement taken from Mark and then we left him standing guard duty just in case round two was about to happen. He did blame the Castleton family. Everybody had a alibi to the shooting and to the petrol bombs. Either somebody hired these two teenagers or there is a third person trying to stir up trouble between these two families now. I got my team in a meeting. Anybody who has, info on anybody from that Mile End Estate who has the balls to start a turf war between the Castleton family and the Marston family. It was two hours before I had a lead the same gun which was used on the Castleton family had been used on the Red Tulip a gay pub down by the docks two years before. Nine am I was banging on the front door of the Red Tulip and a lady open the door, called herself Alice Maynard who I knew once as Bert Maynard. A local bricklayer who actually built my garage for me. Long time since I was laying fucking bricks for a living darling!! Bert had not lost any of his charm. That wig he was wearing to cover his bald patch really needed to be put on properly. I explain the reason of this visit to the Red Tulip! Nothing to do with me the answer I did expect from Bertie come Alice Turf war, um only interested in the war on our cabaret stage darling. I wish he would stop calling me darling!!

Alice’s husband come downstairs in a pink nighty; he was more camp than Alice. His name was Florence, the brick layers mate I knew him by the name of Freddie. I did not want any refreshment from either of them. Being told to come in the night and let myself go, a little. I had heard enough so I left. Det Lucy Nash was told not to repeat any of this to the rest of the team back in the office. The information I needed I started to flow from Mile End Estate. Word on the street was that a Trish Higgins and a Stephen Keeble could be involved. I told the creepy little prick I will pay up if his information was right. Listen I am putting my fucking head on the line here, so pay up. He told me all I said was back into the hole in the ground cock roach!!

I decided not to be a hero and used the Rapid Repones Unit. No need to knock the door, just break it down and burst in uninvited. Caught in the act of sex, I remember it’s known as a sixty-nine position. Trish Higgins and Steepen Keeble did not even have time to finish in what they were doing. No trace of a gun in the flat. It was on loan from a neighbor Wilco Simpson. Known to us some type of low life who would deal in anything to make money. Round two for the Rapid Response Unit was simple break down the door. Wilco was caught with his pants down I think the term is called masturbation while watching a porn movie.

Wilco Simpson did not have time to finish with what he was doing. A large selection of firearms was found in his spare bedroom. Not enough to start a large war but enough to kill most of the people on this housing estate the amount of ammunition made my eyes pop out. The mention of the pepper spray of bullets on the Castleton family home and the Lion’s Head. I expect Wilco Simpson to be bit of a smart ass. He was not that bright, in fact he was like a candle, he was slowly burning out. He pointed to the gun that was used by Steepen Kebble with Trish Higgins the driver of the car. He used them both two years ago, to try and wilt the Red Tulip pub. All I wanted to know was, who is paying him to do his dirty work. I almost fell over when the name of Leo Blake did echo off the walls of the room.

Two years ago, Leo Blake wanted the Red Tulip pub be given a reminder who was boss around this area and it was Leo Blake.

I did find that strange, mainly because Leo Blake was still working for the Marston family. I always suspected that he sold Barry The Showman Marston down the road to the Castleton family. He stood by and watch his boss loose his head Wilco Simpson did finally explain that Leo Blake had set up his own protection racket. I had all three people of interest Trish Higgins, Stephen Kebble and Wilco Simpson taken to the watch house. I was surprised with Leo Blake branching out because he did not have much between the ears, he always let his fist do the talking wearing knuckle dusters.

I had to go in with the heavy mob, of uniform. All I ask if anybody wanted a good punch up to get rid of the cobwebs.

Four years ago to arrest Leo Blake it did take six large officers to put him down. He was flexing his muscle in the gay pub the Buck Rabbit. A place for real man who can walk like a cat walk model. No female clothes were allowed in the Buck Rabbit public house. With the Marston family and Leo Blake having lunch in the lunge bar. Leo Blake simply said If you want me you will have to come and get me. I replied You heard him men!! A couple of zaps with the stun gun, but Leo Blake was a tough old Malley bull. Head butts, hitting two policemen with each hand at the same time, a good rugby tackle then a quick punch in the testicular I found can bring any man down to the ground, never mind how big he is.

A slight explanation that Leo Blake had been moonlighting was all I was going to tell the Marston family. I was sorry I spoilt their lunch with the full-on wrestling match.

Charges were laid on Trish Higgins and Stephen Kebble. Wilco Simpson was not spared and finally Leo Blake.

It took almost nine months before somebody got to Leo Blake and sliced open his neck in the shower room. Nobody saw a thing, not even the prison guards while was on duty that day in the shower room.

It took over a year for somebody to run over the Godfather Berni Castleton with a four-wheel drive, a witness said the driver then reversed the cab back over Berni Castleton. He would have been safer in prison, instead of walking his dog around the park that day. The car involved in the accident was found burnt out in the usual place at Mile End Estate.

Tension between the Castleton family and the Marston family, still did exist, but nothing really happen. They finally learnt to live with each other.

Story 2

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The Twist

With the waves high out to sea, a few crazy people surfing. There is a cyclone heading our way in a few days. I do think that little boys who tell lies do grow up to become weathermen. I was walking to the cafe I named Freedom Cafe a place I own and now rent out to Aiden (Piggy) the chef and wife Maria. My wife used to run front of house when I was burning the food and washing the pots. I sat down for my usual three poached eggs on three pieces of toast and a large thick coffee milk shake. My wife Layla who used to work with me in the cafe is somewhere down the Ocean Road with the wind in her hair riding her Harley Davidson. When she does return in about an hour, she will go straight home to her landscape painting. The walls of this large cafe have her painting’s covering the walls. An art gallery cafe, I wanted to call this please. She does manage to sell a lot of paintings on display.

Enjoying my breakfast, catching up with the day-old news in the newspaper, I found myself being joined by somebody I did hope to never see again. An Insp Jayden Brent and his sidekick Sgt Aria Lee. They just sat down without an invitation. Being presented with some photographs of Jackson Cowell at the fruit and vegetable market in town, who does reside in the market hotel. The other photograph was of Noah Pickmore who now runs the local garage and his wife is in control of petrol sales. John their son has become a fully qualified mechanic, he has other interest to do with drones in his spare time. A picture of Aiden (Piggy) was his nickname mainly because he does seem to grunt a lot. I did ask what all this meant, I see most of these people daily, and Jackson I see at the market when I drive into town and pick up the fruit and vegetables for the cafe once a week. A voice of whisper from Insp Jayden Brent telling me that I am getting the team together to pull another armored truck robbery, just like four years ago on the West Coast. We got away with it then but not this time, I just looked at Insp. Jayden and simply said You have put me off my poached eggs on toast today!! We are watching you Liam Edmund Sgt Aria always liked the last word.

After they left Piggy came over to see what he wanted. I explained and showed him the photographs. Piggy finished off my breakfast while I sucked on my coffee thick shake. Piggy wanted the photograph of us two for his kitchen wall. I did laugh and walk slowly home. I stop off at the service station to see Noah Pickmore and explained my encounter with Insp Jayden. Noah had spotted him filling up with petrol before the one our drive back to the city. The prick gave me a cheeky wave Noah told me. I told Noah I will see him maybe later for a cold beer at my place.

Bullet my dog was always six paces behind me. When I ran the kitchen at the cafe, he had his own little bed in the storeroom. I decided to take Bullet swimming, we both needed to get rid of some cob-webs. I was met at home by Layla my partner. I told her of my encounter with Insp Jayden. You mean he drove what a hour’s drive to show you those photographs and that you are about to pull off another heist of an armored truck, then did not get our mob for the one on the West Coast, thirty six hours of absolute bullshit and not one little piece of evidence!! I could tell that Layla was upset and the last thing we needed after four years was the police back into our lives. It became so bad we moved over here on the East Coast. We arrived and purchase the cafe, two months later Noah came with his family, rented the garage, until two years ago he splashed the cash and brought the place. Jackson was born in a fruit market and was soon back in the family business and last year he became top dog. He also purchased sixty percent of the market hotel. Layla did her retreat to her art room and I decided to drive to the city a day early to pick up the fruit and veg. I got the order from Piggy and simply phoned it through to Jackson. I showed Jackson the photographs and all he did was pour me another beer.

I think that he does know something that we do not!! laugh Jackson.

I had no plans to do another heist, we did well three million each, which did set us all in our own business, in our new home state. I could not have any more beer, two was my limit, if I was still being watched. I imagine that the boy with the blow into the machine would be tip off. I headed home. Not much traffic on the road early afternoon, except the blue lights on a highway patrol car. I was asking if I had any beer today, they knew I had, I clock them three miles back before they swoop on me. I was happy that I was not over the limit today. I could see the disappointment on the two faces of the police patrol.

I got home after dropping off the fruit and vegetables to the Freedom Cafe.

I had a phone call from an old friend Doug Wheeler who ran the Waterloo Hotel in the city. The only pub to open apart from the market hotel that is owned partly by Jackson. Hours are six am to six pm. All the high flyers in suits, jump off the train with the station opposite the Waterloo Pub and in for a liquid breakfast. Then off to work. At four pm they all headed home and always stop off for a quick one before they caught the train. Doug Wheeler was a very close friend for over twenty years, he was what I call a mastermind in robbery. He was a person you called mastermind because he was simply never caught. He was retired now and he did know of my exploits on the West Coast simply a message to be here tomorrow, I had to say I went to the market today, somebody would like to meet you, around three o’clock in the afternoon, upstairs in one of the rooms.

All Doug Wheeler then said was "Watch ya back Liam simply watch ya back!!

I downed my pint of beer in two gulps and headed upstairs. I went to room three, I open the door and, on a table, I saw some toys. A yellow truck and a semi-trailer truck which had jack knife over a map of a road that led away from the casino. The phone rang and a mystery voice simply told me This is the plan. Ram the yellow truck that is the armoured car come truck. Over the side of the bridge the jack knife truck will halt traffic. Down below the bridge a team will be waiting to blow open the yellow rear door, and the money is there for the taking!! I really had to act dumb, I have no idea and robbery and I must say this armored truck especially. I did mention the guards inside and the two guards up front.

Easy peasy, how many people would you need to do this robbery I asked Um about eight all fully armed, ex-military men are the best. I did remember, I have a would be cook if he could, a mechanic and son, plus a fork lift drifter who does work in the fruit and veg world. We pulled it off on the West Coast, without the son of the mechanic.

I will have to think about this, I have never done anything like this before, any way why me? I asked.

Um you see we have information that you are the man for the job

With that I simply replied I will have to think about it, turning to a life of crime was not on my radar I replied in a temper.

A silent phone. I went downstairs to have another pint of beer with my old friend Doug Wheeler. This time Doug was talking with his hand over his mouth. So, you heard about the lip reader at the race-track then!!

Yip a mate of mine who said This race is going to kill me or kill to win

The police said Wanting to kill me or kill Flynn I had to laugh, almost choking on my pint of beer. I was handed a mobile phone by Doug. This is from the man upstairs. Here is another pint from me. I put out my hand and Doug put a slim phone into my hand, that is how I will contact you and I will be out on Sunday for a BBQ and to see the rest of the gang. I will bring Jackson with me.

I understood Doug even with his bloody hand over his mouth.

I headed outside to find my better half. With her camera, focus on who came down the back stairs. She had a trigger-happy camera today. Commander Sebastian Tombar ex robbery from the West Coast was in town, with his new friend Insp Jayden Brent. Pick up in a unmarked car by Mila Whitten once a girlfriend to my good friend Jackson Cowell the fruit and veg man. Jackson after six months of free sex with an undercover officer Mila Whitten. She broke his heart, but she never got anything out of Jackson about our West Coast heist. In act Jackson drove her mad with the words I do not know how to even fire a gun, never mind a fucking hold up!!

A conformation with Jackson at his interview being dragged in along with me as a likely suspect for the heist. Mila had failed the test but not the test in bed, Jackson told me on his release after thirty-six hours under the spotlight of Commander Sebastian Tombar. I just reached home and my new friend was already trying to find out if I had made up my mind. I did ask him how many guards were inside the van. Two he replied Sorry there are four plus two up front a total of six. I told him that head butt the truck with a semi might work and you hope that the bloody truck does not land upright with the door’s underneath. How long will it be before the so called cavalry do arrive the stupid answer of simply around ten or twelve minutes. Another booboo it was six minutes I told him. I knew this was a set up, I would need a few weeks to try and put a team together. His last word today was that he will simply get fifty percent and I will get the other fifty percent while will have to be split between my team members. This was what I call a set up, I am not going to take the bait, he is not going to catch me that easy. Layla did nothing laugh at me on the phone. I had to admit that the voice I was listening to was not Commander Sebastian Tombar or Insp Jayden Brent. A nice bowl of steaked noodles and vegetables then a walk along the beach with Bullet the dog while the sun went down over the ocean. Inside my head, plans for the future are already coming together. The next day I went to see Noah Pickmore and his son at the garage. I saw a good demonstration of the drones. Ideas bouncing inside my head. No damn heavy-duty truck for a battering ram, Why not use drones? Noah told me. One to knock out the so-called communications, one to blast the front cab, so it will be uncontrollable and the last drone to blast open the rear door of the armored truck. I had to see the impact of a drone carrying explosives. Out back about a mile from the garage. The drones in action, my mind was made up. Battle drones are now in play I told Noah there is a BBQ at my place on Sunday afternoon. I went home to put my plan to Layla, I’ll be in that please"!!

I could not wait for Sunday to come around. The cyclone would hit this hamlet sometime on Sunday night and Monday morning. Sunday BBQ all together, and Doug Wheeler showed up with Jackson Cowell from the city. I had already laid down plans for a surprise. Noah had an idea when I told him I wanted the drones on stand by and a large van ready for transport. I had to take Jackson to one side to show him the photograph of the love of his life Mila Whitten, now driving Bugger Logs Commander Sebastian around with Insp Jayden Brent sucking his big toe.

To think I had plans at the back of my mind for her to become Mrs. Mila Cowell!!

I was in charge of the BBQ, I did not want Piggy burning everything, in the food line. At the end of a few beers and a good feed I told the team of my plan. All they said was When? The look on their faces when I simply said Tonight gang, tonight!! The look on their faces. This would catch Bugger Logs Commander Sebastian and his team off guard, which would give us a fifty, fifty chance of pulling this off.

Only fifty fifty, laughed Noah.

It will be a piece of cake, shouted Dougie.

All fed well and we got dressed up, for a one-hour drive to town. I expected to reach the city around midnight. We will station the van within eye view of the casino, car park. We were getting restless it was almost one o’clock before the armored truck showed up being loaded at the casino, our plan was put into action. The drones were launched behind the money wagon. I had to get a little closer when we started to go up the hill and over the bridge. With my foot down and the hairs on the back of my neck up and butterflies in my stomach. I did remember my days as a teenager at the fair driving a bumper car. The drones in place attack were all I had to do. One walk and then another, the drone on the front window exploded and the drone on top of the van to block communication’s I just hope it was working one better hard hit. And the van went over the side of the bridge, the rear doors exploded open with the third and last drone. Crashing down below, it was now our job for a search and rescue the money. One door was open and the other one had jammed when we reach the money wagon. A lot of moan and groans, but that did not stop Layla going into the truck one silly guard in her line of duty tried to be a hero. Layla put him to rest we grab the bags and everything else we could. I was watching the time on my watch. Six minutes before we will hear sirens, and the white knights will be coming to the rescue. Twenty seconds past our deadline and into the van again. This van was a much smaller version our get a way vehicle that Noah and son had driven up to the city. Across the ski club car park, up onto a walking track, a slight detour at the top and out through a small hedge on to a left turn around the shops. All I could hear was sirens everywhere. We came out at the petrol station. The lights were red, but I took a change and instead of turning right, I turned left past the race-course car park around the race cars and up a side road. Noah did suspect that we were being followed from behind.

It was time to make a stand. Jackson got out his Big Boy an automatic rifle and let it go for leather at the vehicle when it came around the corner.

We did not hang around and turned into a stable and parked inside a barn. I got out to see if anybody was following us, the sound of sirens was like a alarm going off in my head, it was time to get up Liam!! We drove out and through the back roads of a housing estate. We finally found our way on to the highway, the were police everywhere but heading in the opposite direction. The cyclone raid had been reaching the city now in land. I put my foot down, and simply said Nice job gang easy peas!!

We were soon on the turn to Ocean Road, home in half a hour, the rain was getting heavy, the wind was getting stronger, only people with web feet would be out in this weather. Our small hamlet had been invaded by the cyclone. It was a good job we had secure metal shutters on our properties. I stop at the cafe and out got Piggy and gave me a grunt and a thumbs up. Next stop was my place, we unloaded the money and placed it under the floorboards with the tank deep freeze over the top. I made sure the deep freeze went back into the correct position. Layla and I gave Noah and his son a hug. They had a plan for the van an old mine shaft about a mile out of town. Drop it down the hole then simply blast the entrance so it caved in.

I want some drums of petrol drop down first to try and set the van alight to hide our D.N.A. Too much rain I realized with that stupid idea. Set it a light inside then push it down the hole in the ground laughed Jackson. Great idea and it worked then the entrance were blasted with explosive everything was going well, so I had a cold beer, a warm shower and went to bed with Layla. Jackson took the bed in the spare room, which Bullet did not take that idea too well, it was normally where he slept. Yes, Bullet slept on a double bed at night. Being a little trooper Bullet ended up sharing the bed with Jackson.

I awoke with Bullet doing his guard duty at six am. I knew somebody was sniffing around outside by the way Bullet was acting when a voice said It’s the Police Liam Edmund open up, we know you are in there!!

"I simply said where else would I be, it’s raining cats and dogs, there is a bloody cyclone out at sea!!

I open the rear door to find Insp Jayden looking like a drowned rat. Is it wet outside Insp Jayden I asked. When Jackson got out of bed, the stupid question from Insp Jayden Was what you are doing here Jackson Cowell "Came for a BBQ the roads were too wet to travel and the market will not