J Is for Jackpot: Aka T Is for Treasure

By Bryan Fletcher

David, a chronically unemployed man wins a massive lottery jackpot, then has an incredible string of good luck and finds secret treasure maps.
And, before he sails away alone, on a truly great adventure, with the likelihood of never returning, he briefly stops at the supermarket lottery counter and gives each of three lady workers a very generous gift.
Yet recently, one of ladies, Jolene was fired, as often, she had an argumentative attitude with the staff, manager, and many customers.
And, she fails to realize, she received a very generous gift, as her surly narrow minded mood misunderstands, and jealousy consumes her.
So much so, she plots revenge and spreads one malicious lie after another, that David's gift was in fact payment, to buy these ladies as sex slaves …
… such as Fifty Shades of Grey, a 2011 erotic romance novel, about a torrid relationship between a college graduate and a young handsome business tycoon, and those many explicitly erotic scenes, often containing sexual bondage, discipline, dominance, sadism, masochism …
... and life as a Kamasutra sex slave for eroticism, and each of those sixty-four sexual positions, such as the high pressure, gaping, impalement, cow, and other exotic sex positions.
As, a slave must obey without question.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Apr 11, 2022
• ISBN: 9781665546447

Bryan Fletcher

Bryan Fletcher, born in Princeton, New Jersey, USA, is a wordsmith-aka-a-tensoric-chronosystemic-monomeric-hydrophilic-connexin-reunion-specialist-of-gap-junction-systems-aka-a-CatAutoTOC-generates-standard-Category-TOC … … that writes fiction-survivor-adventure-genre, mostly mysteries, thrillers, and science fiction thrillers … especially featuring a down-and-out, impoverished person quite hapless, and reluctantly dragged into yet another heated dispute adventure between many powerful special interests too-big-to-fail. And mostly, his fiction stories have reoccurring salient motifs, elemental ideas, phrases relate to the monomyth storytelling superstructure, set in a modern version of the Hellenistic world economic command structure; a recreation or reconstitution of Prodromoi, Psiloi, Thyreophoroi or Thureophoroi, Agema, Gymnitae, Hypaspist, and Pantodapoi, of Omatophylakes, Somatophylaxes, and others, such as a dispute between powerful factions, especially the modern dispute between the plutocracy, hedge fundcracy, timocracy, corporatocracy, corporate republic, corporate-institutional-homeland-republic complex, yet lately with less religious dominance since the coronavirus fiasco. And, we live according to these powerful special interests, their concerns, or lack of, and that style of raising a family, and deliberately stunting the next few generations. In a system, without substantial transparent peer review checks and balances, that are vital democratic safety features to live a cool, calm, balanced, reasonable, interesting, and sustainable life. And, much of this dispute, seems to have started in the Stone Age, yet likely a preBigbang dispute from a bizarre bad progenitor marriage coupling yin-yang. And Bryan's DNA report shows, he is 76.6% European, mostly German, part Jew, Italian, British Isles, French, Southern central Slavic, Scandinavian, Caribbean, Yoruba People, and traces of the Mende People, Luhya People, Iberian, Peruvian, Indian, Han Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, and others. And, here is another mystery, that somehow Bryan is related to Albert Einstein, Usermaatre Meryamun Ramesses III, Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela, Sir David Attenborough, Lyndon Baines Johnson, Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio, Napoléon Bonaparte, Giuseppe Maria Garibaldi, Wright brothers, Steven Pinkerton, Nicolas Cage, Lawrence Edward Page, and Eva Longoria.

Book preview

CHAPTER 1

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And, in a squalid, small, one room efficiency apartment, and groggy from lack of sleep, David squints at his odd, complex clock that has standard time, other time zones, and other sections that show other rhythms, and they include astronomical, marine, tidal, infradian, ultradian, gene oscillation, and endocrine.

Yet, it has other obscure functions, that include an inexpensive time-projection chamber, time-bin encoding, time-resolved mass spectrometer, temporal equation converter, and k-wave forecast.

And, this clock was purchased at a local flea market for 100 dollars.

Of which, regarding the price, and during negotiations, the seller …

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Christian Ferrer, Unsplash

… seemed quite charming.

And, all the while, a nearby man …

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JJ Jordan, Unsplash

… also encouraged David to buy it, and said, "Yes.

"Yes.

"She’s right.

"This is a very special clock.

"In fact, it’s a one-of-a-kind, that could change your life …

… "such as, change your karma, Pauli effect, synchronicity, unus mundus, self-unfolding metaphysics, destiny, ‘red string of fate,’ life in the wilderness of reflection, and iterations.

And, this clock is in full accord with universal law, academic skepticism, and natural experimental studies.

***

Then, David said, "Look.

"I need a simple, reliable, portable clock.

"And, this one seems expensive, and overly complex.

"Plus, I’m unemployed.

"Often laid off.

As, a certain class of people are disposable.

***

And, that other man seriously considered, looked about, then said, "Ok.

"Ok.

"I understand.

"Yes.

However, this clock was made especially for you.

What?

"Yes.

This is your clock.

Yet all during, regarding the price, David was quite unhappy and grumbled many times.

Then, the woman …

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Christian Ferrer, Unsplash

… looked at David, rose, then considered space; the proxemics of interpersonal space, within intimate, personal, social, and public space.

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Then, she smiled as if a superior, near unlimited, and edged into David’s space.

***

So much so, David patted the air between, and said, "Woah.

"Woah.

"Woah.

Please, slow down.

***

Yet, this gorgeous woman entered his intimate space.

And, she smelled as if heaven on earth, and has astonishing eyes, face, complexion, glorious curves, and magnificent cleavage that casted a spell on him.

As, she was a true mesmeritic with heavenly charm, mind, body, and soul, that has an ethereal greatness.

***

As a result, finally, he agreed, 100 dollars.

Then, the flea market lady showed an inviting smile, winked, and kissed David on the lips.

And, that immediately transported David to heaven on earth.

So much so, he imagines both of them elsewhere, and under a clear expanse of blue sky.

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And, on ever so comfy soft green grass, they lay barefoot, with fingers interlaced behind the head.

"Yes.

"Relax.

"And, enjoy the day."

Then, both of them truly smiled, and wiggled toes, and again, as if in paradise.

***

And, they breathed.

Yes, breathed.

And, they really relaxed.

***

And, of equal or greater significance, here and now, in this squalid efficiency apartment, David looks at this odd clock, seems ever so confused, and says, This clock has eleven main functions or more, that never fully agree with each other.

Then, he looks at three lottery tickets, she gave him as a bonus, for buying this bizarre clock.

***

Then, here and now, David, aka, Eye-N looks out the window, then sees the dingy run-down neighborhood with many decrepit houses, boarded businesses, and shabby apartment buildings, that have many broken windows, or ones that do not close completely shut.

As, this is a truly run-down neighborhood.

And, this apartment building has a broken elevator, creaky stairs, and dingy hallways.

So much so, David looks about, then says, "This is a true hellhole.

CHAPTER 2

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"And, if I ever get out of here, I’m sailing away.

"As, that’s my dream.

And, I’ve watched many YouTube sailing videos, and did more than enough practical, hands-on classes.

***

Then, he turns to one of his dogs and says, "Somehow, someway, I gotta get out of this hellhole.

Somehow.

Yet, the dog’s head tilts from side-to-side, as if the mystery of abandoned, and yet another broken promise.

***

And, David realizes, and says, "Oh.

"Sorry about that.

"As, I meant we.

"Us.

And, I would never abandon you, like a bad habit.

Then, the dog’s head tilts from side-to-side, as if concerned, uneasy, then suspicious.

As a result, David realizes, and says, "Oh.

"Sorry about that.

"And, you know what I mean.

"You’re not a bad habit.

"In fact, you are my best friend.

"Yes, it’s true.

Yet, the dog seems skeptical.

And, David notices that, then says, "Yes

"I’m serious.

"You’re my best friend.

"Yes.

"And, it’s true, I don’t feed you fancy dog food, such as homemade dog food, the gourmet type.

"And mostly true, I feed you off-brand varieties, such as, the ones with a simple white label, or totally unrecognizable brand names.

"And yes, I don’t buy premium dog food, with the best meats, vegetables, and fruits.

"True, such as Only Natural Pet EasyRaw, Merrick Before Grain, P.S. For Dogs With Love, Solid Gold - Green Cow Beef Tripe and Broth …

… or Orijen Grain-Free Freeze Dried, Nature’s Recipe Farm Stand Selects Recipe, Castor and Pollux Organix Canine Formula, Halo Spot’s Stew Recipe Canned …

… or Blue Buffalo Blue’s Stew.

"As they’re all nice.

"Yet, who can afford them.

"As, when employed, I make minimum wage.

"I’m a wage slave.

***

"And, look at me, I can only afford to eat simple meals, such as a fried egg sandwich, or Kraft Macaroni and Cheese Dinner, or beans and rice.

"Or, if I’m lucky, split pea soup, or Sadza, made with cornmeal in a vegetable stew.

"And often, I must eat a cheap breakfast for dinner.

"Or for dessert, that’s rare, as I can’t afford, I eat fruit with condensed milk, or cinnamon and sugar, on toast.

And those sugary treats can’t be healthy.

CHAPTER 3

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Yet, the dog seems skeptical, looks at that strange clock, and remembers what other dogs eat, especially on TV commercials.

As those dogs eats spectacular meals, and are very, very happy, and healthy.

Then, the dog remembers one promise after another.

Especially, when will I get a proper name?

Such as who names their dog Dog.

As the dog tag says with an elaborate inscription, My name is Dog. Yes, simply call me Dog. And, when you say it with exaggerated gusto, look with wild eyes. Or when saying it, extend hands, as if claws, palms up towards heaven number 955, and shake them with real style. Or, say loudly, as if you’re the mission commander; for example, to kickass, or kickass and take names!

And, on a dog tag, who writes such things?

And, maybe a better dog name is:

Emma

Gigi

Ginger

Bella

Luna

Lucy

Daisy

Lola

or Molly

or, Honey, Sweet Heart, Princess, Cutie Pie, Dream Girl or Buttercup

or, something cute, such as Ruff.

Yet, Ruff may mean the equivalent of hey.

Such as, ruff-ruff-ruff may translate into hey-hey-hey.

And, that is rude in canine and human speak.

***

Meanwhile, the dog thinks the canine equivalent of, How do humans rule the world?

Is it, because they have opposable thumbs?

And carefully, the dog looks at the right paw, then left, and tries to wiggle the dew claw, as that maybe a thumb equivalent.

Then, the dog wonders, the canine equivalent of, Is it the shallow language game?

As, humans have so many words for objects and actions, yet rarely seem to understand one another.

***

Then, the dog remembers one nature TV show after another, such as The Discovery Channel, National Geographic, The Incredible Dr. Pol, Our Planet, The Dog Whisper, The Dog Rescuers, and Japan: Earth’s Enchanted Islands.

Where, a dog played in a sublime, majestic rolling pastoral haven, and mountains:

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And one time on TV, a dog found a secret mountain waterfall, looked about, felt quite frisky, leaped toward the water, belly flopped, then swam doggy style.

And, that dog seemed very happy, and repeatedly belly flopped, then doggy style swam, over, and over.

In fact, to the dog, that seemed as if paradise.

CHAPTER 4

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And groggy, from lack of sleep, David notices the dog’s disappointment, then again, and says, "Yes.

"Promises, promises, promises.

"I know.

"I know.

"We can’t walk very far in this neighborhood, as it’s quite dangerous.

"So, twice a day, for fifteen minutes, is the best we can do.

***

And, he looks about, considers, this and that …

… then, lifts the dog, to that front window.

***

And, they see the dingy run-down neighborhood, with so many decrepit houses, boarded businesses, and shabby apartment buildings … that have broken windows, or windows that don’t close completely shut.

As, this is a truly run-down neighborhood.

***

So, you see, "This is a true hellhole.

"And, I’m broke … with no savings … maxed credit cards … and a resume full of holes.

"And, I’m not very smart.

"I’m serious.

"And, on a good day, I’m a C-minus student.

"And, my relatives would not hire me.

"Yet, if I begged, over and over, eventually they may, yet grumble for weeks.

As a result, let’s face it, I’m a wage slave.

So much so, David looks overwhelmed.

***

As a result, the dog offers a sympathetic look, and again.

Yet, that gives David no relief.

So, the adult dog, makes loving puppylike noises, nnnnn nnnnnn, nnnnn nnnnnn.

Yet, David seems despondent.

***

So much so, the adult dog makes, loving puppylike noises, nnnnn nnnnnn, nnnnn nnnnnn, nnnnn nnnnnn, then rubs its muzzle under his chin …

… as if to lift his spirit, to heaven.

CHAPTER 5

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A commercial break song, Mandy Harvey, Try

CHAPTER 6

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Then, David says, "Ok-ok-ok.

"Yes.

"And, I’m sorry about our food.

"However, I love you.

I do.

***

Yet, the dog seriously wonders, Is that true?

"Yes.

"It’s true.

I love you, 100 percent.

Yet, the dog wonders.

***

CHAPTER 7

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Are you hungry?

And, the dog perks, barks three times, and tail wags as if a weapon, because it accidentally knocks over a coffee table plant called an Ice Cream Banana Plant.

"Ok.

"Ok.

"Ok.

Slow down, missy.

Then, he fixes the plant and replaces spilled soil.

"Ok.

"Now.

"What can we eat?

Let’s see.

And, as David helps the dog up, onto the kitchen counter, his other dog arrives.

Yet, it has some doglike features, yet some people may call it a critter, creature, varmint, or beast, or Borophaginae, as it looks prehistoric, such as a pre-Caniformia, a suborder within the order Carnivora, of doglike carnivorans, that eventually evolved into dogs, wolves, bears, raccoons, foxes, badgers, mustelids, and oddly enough, includes Otariidae, Phocidae, and Odobenidae.

And, this doglike creature seems hungry.

Then, they explore the cabinet, and find a variety of off-brand dog foods, with a simple white label.

And, the three different stew flavors include chicken, turkey, and beef vegetable.

"Hey.

"All of these, sound yummy to me.

As I love stew.

And David points to the chicken stew, and the dogs sneeze, then both shake their heads, as if, No way, brother, then sneeze, and again!

***

So much so, David says, I thought, both of you loved that.

Yet, the dogs sneeze, then shake their head, as if, No way, no how, never.

***

"Really, I had no idea you hated that stuff.

"Oh my.

"Maybe, I’m a bad pet owner.

"Ok!

"Ok.

"Ok.

What about this turkey stew?

Then, a dog reacts the same way.

"Oh my.

And, what about this beef vegetable stew?

Then, a dog sneezes.

"Holy smokes.

"I’m a very bad person.

"What have I done?

"Ok.

Let me smell, this beef vegetable stew.

And, David looks for a can opener, that normally, sits on the kitchen counter.

Then, he digs thru one drawer after another.

Yet, seems unable to find it.

Then, he says, "How is that possible?

"I’m the only person in this small, one-room, efficiency apartment.

"And, what the hell, is wrong with me?

And, how could I lose it?

Yet, unbeknownst to David, the dog hid the can opener.

As, drastic times, require, drastic ways and means.

And, a greater question, is it proper, for a dog to hide things?

CHAPTER 8

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Then, David curses, a few colorful phrases not fit for print.

***

So much so, in this new book series, it seems best, to not record.

Because, a young reader may see, and receive a true shock!

***

And enough so, that a young reader, may put two and two together, such as previously overheard adult conversations, sly phrases, and other things, often withheld from young adults, kids, and toddlers …

… to protect them from the universe, and true human nature, especially from, the behind-the-scene systems.

Such as, the ways and means of so-called civilization, that include vulgar, crude, and quite oppressive ...

… of Do as I say, not as I do, and those double standards and much-much more.

And, the classic major, average, and minor civilization lies, that include:

Santa Claus

Easter Bunny

Tooth Fairy

Storks deliver babies

Knuckle-cracking leads to arthritis

Ice cream trucks only play music, when out of ice cream

Swallowed gum takes years to digest

The toy or candy store is closed

Chocolate milk comes from brown cows

Crossed eyes will get stuck

Swallowed watermelon seeds, and, in your stomach, they grow into watermelons

Sitting too close to the TV, causes eye damage

Drinking coffee stunts growth

Touch a toad, and you’ll get warts

Pee in the public swimming pool, turns, and the water red

You are the most talented kid in the world

You are special

When sneezing, keep your eyes open, and your eyes will fall out.

If you lie, your nose will grow

The dead family pet, is living happily on a faraway farm.

***

And, civilization has a very selective memory, use of idiom, rhetorical-turn of phrase, logic, facts, factoids, truthiness, gossip, innuendos, rumors, fantasies, and history, such as the foundation of the human species, yet another mistranslation.

CHAPTER 9

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Then, David says, "What’s wrong with me?

"As I have such a bad memory.

"And, I feed my dog slop.

No wonder, my dogs don’t love me.

Yet, the dog senses these feelings, and points to, the can opener, wedged between the refrigerator and cabinet.

"Oh.

Clumsy me.

Then, he opens the beef vegetable stew, smells, and tastes.

"Holy smokes.

"That’s horrible.

"I’m a very bad person?

"What have I done?

"Am I that dense, and unable to understand, the basics?

Ok-Ok-Ok.

Then, one by one, he gathers cans and bags, then lugs, stumbles, and places into the garbage can.

And, as a result, the dogs bark three times, and tails wag.

***

"Ok-Ok-Ok.

"I get it.

Yet, I can’t afford premium dog food, such as Only Natural Pet EasyRaw, Solid Gold Green Cow Green Beef Tripe in Beef Broth, or Merrick Before Grain, P.S. For Dogs With Love.

So, waiting for an idea, they stand there.

Then, David opens the mostly empty refrigerator, and they browse there.

***

And, the dog points to celery.

As a result, Davis says, "That’s crazy.

"Dogs can’t eat celery.

It’s impossible.

Yet, the dog points again.

As a result, David shrugs, and says, "Ok.

"It’s your funeral.

Because for a fact, dogs, never eat celery.

Yet, he washes a stalk, chops bite size, then offers.

And, the dogs eat, as if it is one of the truly great foods.

So much so, David double takes, and again.

"Ok.

It’s your funeral.

Then, he washes another stalk, feeds it to the dogs.

And, the dogs treat it as a truly great meal.

So much so, the tails wag.

"Ok.

What else?

And, the dog points to a bag of carrots.

"No way.

"Dogs don’t eat carrots.

"As I know that for a fact.

Ok-Ok-Ok.

And, David washes a few, then slowly feeds.

And, the dog named Dog, loves it, 100 percent, as a wagging tail and mood seems festive.

"Well.

"I’ll be damn?

"Who, would have thought that?

"Ok.

"What else?

And, the dog points to broccoli.

So, David says, "No way sister.

Ok.

And, he washes, chops, serves, then both dogs eat as if true fine dining.

Then, the dog points to squash.

So, David cleans, and feeds.

Then, David looks at a container with fresh raw chicken livers, that he bought, because they were so cheap.

Yet, he hates liver, and for years listened to people say, ‘Liver is wonderful, healthy, and good for your immune system, and blah, blah, blah’.

However, poverty means compromise.

So, he bought them.

"Ok.

Let me cook them, and does with broccoli, squash, Brussels sprouts, peas, and a bit of salt, then cools the food, and put chopped cucumbers on top.

Then, he places the meal inside a doggy bowl labeled, Killer.

And moments later, the entire meal was gone, as there is not a single pea.

Holy smokes.

***

Then, something very strange happened.

CHAPTER 10

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The dogs give David a kiss.

"Well.

"I’ll be.

"I had no idea, dogs ate those things.

"A person can learn new things.

And, let me put this can opener away, on the counter, where I normally keep it.

And, the dog studies.

***

Then David says, "I need a nip.

I need booze.

***

"Hey!

"Wait a second.

"I remember.

"Yes.

"I remember.

"Last week, I bought a whole roasted chicken …

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Alison Marras, Unsplash

… Koji style, left it on the kitchen counter, to cool, and I went to work.

Yet, whatever happened to that entire chicken?

CHAPTER 11

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And, the dogs know the words roasted chicken, look quite guilty, then have sad eyes, and moments later, point behind the refrigerator, to a hidden neat pile of bones.

"Ok.

"Ok.

"Ok.

"Yet, I really wanted that roasted chicken.

"However, I forgive both of you.

***

Then David says, "I need a nip.

I need booze, as I have been poor for so many years.

And, as he verifies a locked front door, the breeze rustles old lottery tickets taped to that door.

And, they are a detailed reminder, of money he could have spent paying overdue rent, electric, and credit cards.

Or, use that money to buy food, such as a roasted chicken.

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Alison-Marras, Unsplash

And, moments later, he daydreams about food.

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CHAPTER 12

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Then, in paradise, his daydream ends.

***

And, the dogs look at him, as he looks around this dingy apartment, in a run-down neighborhood with decrepit houses, boarded businesses, and shabby apartment buildings that have many broken windows, or ones that do not close completely shut.

So much so, David says, This place, is a true hellhole.

***

And, he looks at the front door, and nearby wall filled with taped, old lottery tickets.