Life of Sofia
By Bea Eschen
()
About this ebook
Bea Eschen
Bea Eschen ist gebürtige Deutsche und lebt seit 1984 im Ausland. Momentan ist sie in Sydney, Australien, zuhause. Ihr bisheriges Leben auf den verschiedenen Kontinenten Südafrika, Neuseeland und Australien brachte ihr viele Erfahrungen, die sie zum Schreiben anregen.
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Life of Sofia - Bea Eschen
ONE
LIFE OF SOFIA
I walk aimlessly through the back streets of the city. The night fog is coming in and the cool damp makes me shiver. My aches and pains are as bad as ever and my backpack feels heavier than ever. Everything I own is in it, everything that is left of the life I had before.
I stop at the next bus stop and sigh with relief as I put my bulky backpack on the built-in seat. The tiny space under the partial roof could give me some protection, but the light and openness expose me to the bad guys, the ones who like to kick and rape old, defenceless women like me. So I just sit there for a while and then move on to where my legs can take me.
It is one of those days when nothing goes right. The people in the chapel shook their heads when they saw me approaching, so I didn't even ask. They could at least have offered me a place to sleep on the veranda, but since the police chased us all away, no one dares to sleep there anymore.
One of the new mayor's promises was to clean up the city. There were enough complaints and talk about the homeless to make it one of his most effective promises; a promise that gave him the votes to win the election. Now he has to deliver on a promise that has started a war between the rich and the poor.
Nobody expected this, except me. I know that wealth is built on the poverty of others, but there comes a time when the impoverished fight back. Except me. I am leaving the fight to the younger generations. I am too tired to fight and take my fate as it comes.
I like to be alone, away from the noise, the aggression and the fear. Not that I'm not afraid. I'm afraid a lot when I don't know where to go. Like now. But I like to avoid the fear of others, and I don't want to share the worry with others because it makes it worse.
My body aches to lie down and stretch out in a comfortable, warm bed. I have counted the last coins in my pocket so many times today. I let my fingers touch each one and count them again. I am two coins short of a stay in the Morgue. It's a strange name for accommodation, but it's built like drawers for corpses. Each drawer, or capsule, is just big enough to lie down and sleep. The more expensive ones have TV and internet access, but I don't have enough coins for even the cheapest.
So I walk on. My swollen feet hurt in my shoes as they take me to the public hospital around the corner. I have stayed there before as a last resort for the night. The waiting room is big, with lots of chairs and sofas. It can be noisy, with drunk and drugged people, injured and bleeding from senseless street fights. But it is a place to go, to sit down in relative safety and, if I am lucky, to be offered a cup of hot soup.
As I enter, the glare of the bright light hits me. My eyes have become more sensitive to light over the years, I think it is a matter of age, but my eyesight has also faded considerably. I still have a pair of glasses in my backpack, but I prefer not to wear them for fear of breaking them. I have nothing against the bright light, though; my sunglasses broke a long time ago, so I look around for a darker spot elsewhere.
I let my gaze wander over the heads of the others, trying to avoid eyes. It's difficult because almost everyone is staring at me. What do they see when they look at me, apart from an old, untidy woman with a big backpack? I am painfully aware of my grey, unwashed hair that has grown wild, my dirty, broken fingernails, and my old clothes that have turned to rags. The coat I was once proud of is torn in places, dirty and smelly. Since I have been sleeping rough, I have also lost a lot of weight. My once shapely and firm body has turned to skin and bones, and my face shows deep wrinkles of suffering and sorrow. Yet I still feel alive inside. My heart is full of compassion for others. I enjoy watching children play and bathing in the feel of a breeze and the sound of splashing water.
There's a bit of happiness left in me; that bit I've been saving for the few moments of joy I sometimes bring up to survive the dull days of existence. But as I stand here and now, I feel ashamed. I am in the spotlight and my appearance frightens the smaller children, who turn away from me and cling to their mums and dads for protection. Some point their fingers at me and make comments that I can't and don't want to hear.
I enter the waiting room of the hospital and don't know where to go, as every corner of the room is lit up and filled with people sitting and standing.
The scene before me suddenly becomes blurred. Is it my eyesight getting worse? Are my eyes filled with tears or am I feeling dizzy? I feel my legs shaking and I want to sit down more and more. The nurse calls for a family and at least three seats in the middle of the room become available. Dragging my feet, I shuffle towards them, feeling all eyes on me. Two teenage girls, both heavily made up and chewing gum, rush towards the seats. I know they have been watching me and are trying to get there before me. I feel a wave of anger rise up inside me, leaping forward and grabbing the middle chair the second they get there.
Bloody stinking bitch,
one of them