AFRICA: Women, Gender Bias, Cultures, Values & Norms

By Blessed Unami Sikhosana

This brilliant, influential, exquisitely written book describes in vivid detail the psychological effects of the cultural norms, entrenched traditions, and gender biases prevalent throughout the continent of Africa that undermine and violate women's basic human ri

• Language: English
• Publisher: Blessed Unami Sikhosana
• Release date: Apr 4, 2022
• ISBN: 9781088031384

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AFRICA

Women, Gender Bias, Cultures, Values & Norms

By

Blessed Unami Sikhosana

Copyright © 2021

Author: Blessed Unami Sikhosana

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed Attention: Permissions Coordinator, at the address below.

Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Names, characters, and places are products of the author’s imagination.

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Foreword

By Kevin Ncube

Leading United Kingdom Broadcaster & Journalist

Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody is going to know whether you did it or not.

- Oprah Winfrey.

I commence this foreword with an inspiring and empowering quote that personifies Blessed Unami Sikhosana, my mentor and confidante. Blessed is a true altruist, a leader who always puts community before self. Blessed has always been an advocate of young girls' and women's concerns. 

As you page through this book, you will notice that Blessed Unami Sikhosana is an unwavering African princess who is never apologetic for her Africanism. Blessed understands poverty and growing up as a second-class citizen in a society of colonialism. She was raised in Mzilikazi-Bulawayo-Rhodesia, now Zimbabwe. Blessed was raised singlehandedly by her grandmother, Lizzie Novaphi Sikhosana, a grandmother known in Zulu-Ndebele as "ugogo." Blessed grew up known to all of us in her African community as u Bessie, ugogo's favorite little girl. Bessie was brought up with a clear sense of nobility and manners. I am proud as a peacock to call Blessed a sister I never had and my big sister from a different mother. 

Way back in the 70s, before women's destigmatization was acceptable, Blessed Unami Sikhosana had already sunk her teeth deep into advocacy for the vulnerable. In Africa, she stood up for the underserved, abused, isolated, marginalized, and even when all cameras were off, she bravely stood for the voiceless. Even though she knew that the colonialists could have even assassinated or killed her for speaking up on behalf of abused African women and children, Blessed was unafraid and unintimidated. Against all odds, and when colonialism was at its peak, Blessed held community-wide events to promote diversity, equality, and inclusion of all humankind. It was said then that disproportionately socio-economically affected communities are hard to reach, but to Blessed, they were, in fact, not easy to ignore. 

Blessed, the African princess has not reneged on her endeavor to help those wallowing in abject poverty. This book reflects her deep understanding and experience of being marginalized, excluded, and brutalized just because you are a woman. It is not surprising that Blessed shares these touching, sometimes heart-wrenching stories with readers since she experienced some of the pain at a tender age from the Rhodesian colonists. A million debts of gratitude to ugogo, who forever stepped in to protect her little princess from prowling ill-intended men. Today, Blessed is a resilient African princess who exhibits a strong sense of moral and cultural fiber. She attributes her values, traditions, and her very existence to ugogo.

Blessed has been an architect of uplifting African women's causes for as long as I can remember. I am in awe of Blessed's infinite recognition of our African culture, traditions, norms, values, and beliefs. Blessed does not only live her traditions and values, but she is also unapologetic in her African princess-ship. She is known by her peers as the princess of Ubuntu. Yet, she is also modest, kind, selfless, and many are in awe of Blessed's humble personality.

Blessed's academic successes in her new home, the United States, are immeasurable. She is an Alumni of Syracuse University with two master’s degrees. First, in International Relations from Maxwell School. Second, a Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy from the David B. Falk College. Blessed's scholarly achievements speak volumes about her inner drive and overall discipline. Accompanied by her unwavering spirituality, Blessed is unashamed to give praise and honor to the one she calls, My, Redeemer, my Lord, and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Thank you, my loving sister, for turning your wounds into wisdom in this touching book of true stories about women in your beloved Africa, your motherland. A book like this matters because it teaches us, including more privileged women of other races, what women in Africa have to endure daily. I am proud of you, big sis' for accomplishing a mission that is so challenging, constructive, and educational. 

I am proud to call you, my sister, my confidante, and my best friend. Thank you for sharing your experiences and your insights and thank you for dedicating this book to your beloved grandmother, ugogo, who you affectionately regard as My Rock of Gibraltar. The only mother I ever knew. 

Acknowledgments

I have to start by thanking my awesome husband, Bernard Paul Bird, especially for reading early drafts, giving me advice on the cover of the book, keeping the grandkids, family, and friends out of my hair so I could write, edit, and complete my manuscript. Thank you so much, my soul mate and beloved friend.

Having an idea and turning it into a book is as hard as it sounds. The experience is intensely challenging, but immensely rewarding. I especially want to thank the individuals who helped make this book happen. I owe the deepest debt of gratitude to the women and men who allowed me to interview them, and who were willing to share their intimate, painful stories with me. Thank you for trusting me and giving me permission to publish your stories. Your names have been altered to protect your identities and preserve your integrity.

To my family: Describing my life experiences and the pervasive human rights violations against women in Africa has been a surreal process. I would not have been inspired to write these stories without the moral and spiritual guidance of ugogo, my grandma. I will always be indebted to ugogo, the only loving parent that I ever knew. Thank you for raising me to be the loving spiritual woman of integrity that I have become.

To all my living siblings—Musi, Nkosana, and Bongani—my heartfelt thanks for allowing me to be me. Lots of love to all my nephews, nieces, cousins, friends, and relatives who showed me unwavering support, I love you all. To my late mother, Dr. Barbara Sibanda, and siblings, Civil Maris Brenda, Dumisani, Charity, Mchazo, Ronald, and Duduzile-Angela, may your dearest souls rest in peace, you are missed dearly. To my Aunts, Joyce Mabhena and Prof. Micere G. Mugo for being those people I could turn to when I first arrived in America. Thank you for your unwavering support.

To all those who helped me get there: A special thanks to my sister (from another mother) Thembi Cecilia Silundika for sustaining me during those dark hours in ways that any little sister yearns. To my moral supporters, Dr. Paul, Pauline-Nomtha and Felix Silundika, Dr. Nomvuyo Mabhena, Dr. Joy Mutare-Fashu-Kanu, Sikhumbuzo Ndabambi, Godfrey & Winnie Mabaleka, Abigail Zimondi, Charity Mpofu-Burroghs, Andiswa & Michelle Ndlovu, Harry & Sandra Russell, Diane Bostic, Kevin Fallis, my pastor, Dr. Brian Homan, to all of whom I turned for spiritual strength and moral support.

I owe a special debt of gratitude to Dr. Alwin Baum for his editorial help, keen insight, and ongoing support in bringing my stories to life. It is because of his efforts and encouragement that I have a legacy to pass on to my son, Andy Chikwehwa, my grandchildren, Khaya, Zola, and Sipho, and to my friends and family. I want to express my thanks also to Prince Peter Zwidekalanga Khumalo the great-grandson of King Mzilikazi and Jeppie Njabulo Ngonyama for giving this manuscript a second and final read offering their immense cultural, traditional and geographical advice.  

Writing a book is harder than I imagined. None of this would have been possible without a foreword from my little brother, Kevin Ncube. He stood by me through every struggle and all my successes. That is true love.

I want to thank EVERYONE who ever said anything positive to me or taught me something positive, like ugogo. I heard you, and your words meant so much to me. I want to thank God most of all. Without God, I would not have been inspired to write this book or devote my life to the mission of helping others.

Author’s Biography

Blessed Unami Sikhosana is a native of Mzilikazi-Bulawayo, Zimbabwe, now a proud citizen of the United States of America. Blessed is a highly recognized alumnus of Syracuse University. She holds two master’s degrees, in Marriage and family therapy and International Relations, respectively.

Blessed is the current Assistant Governor for Rotary International, District 7150. Through Rotary efforts, and in her own effort to eliminate the suffering of women having to walk miles to collect water, Blessed initiated, organized and directed the drilling of a four-water-well project in the Sigola village in Zimbabwe, Africa. Blessed is a psychotherapist by profession and a spiritual minister by calling. She is a recipient of several awards, including the prestigious Kwame Nkrumah Award, presented by the African Student Union at Syracuse University; the Voice for the Voiceless Award and the Rotarian of the Year Award.

Blessed is a well-recognized motivational public speaker and a community ambassador with a passion for girls' education in Africa and for refugee women in the diaspora. Blessed believes that if we invest in girls' quality education, learning and knowledge, we will break the intergenerational cycle of poverty, help combat the violation of human rights, bridge the gap of inequalities, improve women's socio-economic opportunities and protect their safety in Africa. 

Blessed uses her platform to speak to women's gender and inequality issues. She is an outspoken advocate for underprivileged women of all ages, races, and socio-economic status. Blessed believes that educating women, beginning at the primary school level, can change the world for the better. She pays school fees for girls in Zimbabwe's rural villages through her organization, the Blessed Sikhosana Foundation, Inc.

Endorsements

This book is an inspiring compilation of an amazing pioneering, deep-end dive insight into the structured African family and uBuntu concept as a way of transferring information from generation to generation, particularly in the up-bringing and development of the girl child. This manuscript mirrors gut-wrenching true-life stories that provoke a realization of the violation of women’s human rights in Africa. Read this book and learn from one of the best African authors.

Prince Peter Zwidekalanga Khumalo, African historian, great-great-grandson of King Mzilikazi, Bulawayo-Zimbabwe

A society cannot stand if