Side Hustle Tango: The Grand Human Empire, #2

By John Wilker

The Crimson Orchid hasn't forgotten what Jax did to them on Jebidiah.

Everywhere he and Naomi turn, bespoke suited thugs are trying to kill them.

When the Governor of Kelso station hires them to take her to a summit on the Imperial homeworld of New Terra, it's the kind of straightforward job Jax likes.

Naomi has other ideas.

One thing leads to another and now it's not just the Crimson Orchid that is hot on their heels, but a mysterious Imperial agent.

Can they shake two very determined groups?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Rogue Publishing
• Release date: Apr 5, 2022
• ISBN: 9781951964108

John Wilker

John Wilker is a science fiction writer living in Denver, CO with his wife and silly dog, Paco.

Book preview

Side Hustle Tango

SIDE HUSTLE TANGO

BOOK 2 OF THE GRAND HUMAN EMPIRE

JOHN WILKER

EDITED BY

CHRISTINA SHORT

Rogue Publishing, LTD.

Copyright © 2021 by Rogue Publishing, LTD

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

For permissions contact:

[e-mail]

Cover art by: Vivid Covers

V 1.2

ISBN: 978-1-951964-10-8

CONTENTS

Introduction

One

Chapter One

Flair

Pleasantries and Threats

This is Not a Drill

Sideways

Chapter Two

This Planet Sucked Anyway

Home Sweet Space Station

Grocery Shopping

Detours

Chapter Three

Mornings After

Now Departing

Lunch

Are You kidding me

Chapter Four

Space Walk

Back on Track

Now Arriving

You Could at Least By me a Drink

Interesting Tastes

Chapter Five

Planet Fall

This is fancy

Walk about

Nightlife

Chapter Six

Changes in Direction

Wrong Door

This is unexpected

Manhunt

Chapter Seven

Strangers

Meet New People

Bustin’ Out

Makin’ Plans

Breakfast of Champions

Chapter Eight

And We're walking...

Robbing

Memories

Wrinkles

Two

Chapter Nine

No Rest

Party Time

This Part Took a Turn...

Awkward Cab Rides

Time to Go

Chapter Ten

We’ve been robbed

Transit

Reviewing The Tapes

Chapter Eleven

Red Turtle Shell Power

Welcome To Columbiana

Shopping

Chapter Twelve

Data Transfer

Side Quests

Small Packages

Won’t be here long

Chapter Thirteen

Tea

Questions and Answers

Welp

Now What?

This is bad

Three

Chapter Fourteen

I have an Idea

You're Invited

Lots To Do

Reunions

Chapter Fifteen

Jitters

Distractions

The Frame up

Slipping Away

Chapter Sixteen

Dress the Part

Show Time

Sales Hustle

Chapter Seventeen

Mugging

It's Complicated

Bear Poking Never Goes Well

Chapter Eighteen

Springing The Trap

Bad News

Hack the Hacker

Proper Paperwork

Chapter Nineteen

Closing the Trap

Turning of Screws

Fake News

Chapter Twenty

TTFN

They Never Learn

Welcome Home

Continue the Adventure

Ghosts of the Past

Any Job Will Do

Seeing Other People

Why So Mean?

Stay Connected

Offer

Other Books by John Wilker

DEDICATION

To my fans.

Thank you!

You’re about to embark on a fun adventure!

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ONE

CHAPTER ONE

FLAIR

Of all the things to make it this far from Earth, TGI Fridays isn’t one I’d have bet on, Jax said as their client approached. The well-dressed woman was threading her way between screaming children and flair-adorned servers. He watched as she side-stepped a toddler with ranch-covered hands.

Naomi nodded. First time here. Her often unwilling business partner looked at her, his mouth hanging open. She shrugged. What? I didn’t really have a normal childhood, remember? She held up her hands. Blue lines that traced her arms, neck, and face glowed. The bio-circuit tattoos faded as she looked around. I kinda like it. She watched a server zip past, balancing a tray of drinks in her hand, buttons and other trinkets jangling as she moved. It’s fun.

Jax raised a hand, patting the air. Okay, okay, calm down. Maybe if you’re good, we can come back another time. I think there’s one of these at the Jericho station. Their client had almost reached them, dodging a distracted father with an infant cradled in one arm and another child tethered by a leash that was straining. Jax reached into his jacket and retrieved a portable data storage device, placing it on the table.

Mr. Caruso, Ms. Himura, the well-dressed woman said, dropping into the open chair across the table from them, exhaling. Welcome to Nuevo Santiago, she said, likely with less enthusiasm than when she had entered the building.

Lovely colony you have, Madame Governor, Naomi replied.

Nuevo Santiago was one of the older pre-Empire colonies. Colonists from Chile and Argentina originally settled it during the early exodus from Earth. The government’s open immigration policy caused the population to boom quickly with people from all over Earth looking for a fresh start. The original settlers made sure new arrivals felt welcome and that they knew that the cultural center of the planet was South America.

If Jax remembered correctly, during the war, Nuevo Santiago had remained neutral. At least, as neutral as possible. Being a bit out of the way helped.

He smiled his best fake smile. It is, great place. He raised an eyebrow. You have our payment?

The governor, very much descended from the fairer-skinned settlers of the colony, nodded as she slid a hand into her purse. As she removed an anonymous credit stick from it, she looked at the data store sitting on the table. That’s everything?

She slid the credit stick across the table just as a server came over. What can I get you folks? The twenty-year-old’s smile looked like it was painted it on his face at the beginning of each shift. Mozzarella sticks are half off for another hour, he offered.

Jax looked up. Two… He tapped his chin. Sagerstown Ambers. He looked at the governor, eyebrow raised.

Nothing for me, she said, doing her best to avoid eye contact with the server, likely hoping he didn’t recognize her.

The server nodded and headed off, stopping when Naomi shouted, You know what, throw in some mozzarella sticks. The young man turned, his smile still in place, and inclined his head before continuing away from them.

Jax reached for the credit stick as Naomi slid the data storage device toward the governor. The small device could hold terabytes of data on specially designed crystalline nano-wafers. Status lights on the leading edge of the rectangular device blinked to show device health.

Unbeknownst to the three of them, as they were trading goods for payment, three well-dressed men and a woman walked in, taking seats in the bar. They were way too well dressed to be Friday’s patrons. The bar was between the main dining area and the door, and was full of football fans in varying degrees of fan regalia. When the bartender walked over, one of the men waved him away, scowling.

Jax held the onetime use credit stick up to his gPhone. The two devices detected each other via lower power local networking. After handshaking, the two devices linked, and his banking app showed the amount of money contained on the onetime stick. A blinking button let Jax know he could transfer the funds to his primary account. He tapped the button, then dropped the now empty credit stick in his half empty glass of water. The governor and Naomi watched the entire process quietly.

Jax smiled. Payment received.

The governor was doing something similar at her end of the table, accessing the data storage unit from her own gPhone. The status lights on the unit blinked as the governor verified the data.

Here you go. The server was back, a tray balanced in one hand. He deposited a frosted mug in front of first Naomi, then Jax, placing a basket of steaming breaded cheese in the center of the table. Careful, those are hot, he said as he placed three plates and napkins on the table.

When the server moved on, the governor exhaled. This place is exhausting. She gestured to the storage device. This is incredible. With this, we’ll be able to put Jellico away for a long time. She nodded to each of them. Thank you.

Jax sipped his beer, then said, That’s outstanding. Glad we could help.

Naomi smiled. From what you told, that’s good news.

The governor nodded, and after looking around, said, Okay, then we’re done here. She stood up, smoothed her blazer, and plucked a mozzarella stick from the basket. Safe travels. She turned and almost collided with a woman chasing a shouting child. She shook her head and walked away.

Jax looked at Naomi, holding his mug up. When she clinked hers against his, he said, To getting paid.

As Naomi popped a mozzarella stick in her mouth, someone behind them said, Hello, Mr. Caruso.

PLEASANTRIES AND THREATS

Mr. Ichiko says hello, a muscular man said from behind Jax. He nodded to Jax and Naomi’s table as three other well-dressed syndicate enforcers moved to surround the table. The server approached and turned around when one of the men gave him a look. A heavyset woman leaned down and plucked a mozzarella stick from the basket between two tattooed fingers. Good call. These are amazing. She bit into the steaming morsel.

The leader nodded to the woman and a younger man. Go get the car.

The woman nodded, grabbing one more mozzarella stick as she headed for the door, her younger colleague falling in behind her.

The taller man, obviously the leader of this team, reached for a mozzarella stick but stopped when Jax said, You gonna pay the bill? You’re eating my appetizer.

The man smiled and grabbed Jax’s beer, taking a long drink.

Jax winked. I tend to backwash. The gangster put the glass down, frowning. Jax shrugged, batting his eyes. He looked around, then said, I have to pee. Thinking I should do that before we leave? 

The taller man looked around until he spotted the restrooms, near the back of the dining room. He pointed to the men’s room and nodded to his colleague. Make sure he washes his hands.

The other man, shorter than the leader, chuckled. Sure thing. He hitched a thumb toward the restrooms. Let’s go. Jax stood, and both men headed to the restroom.

As Jax and his captor walked away, Naomi looked up at the man who was the head goon of the team. So, what’s the deal?

The man’s smirk made Naomi’s skin crawl. We take you to Mr. Ichiko, collect our bonuses. You two, well, I’m guessing you’ll die. He moved to intercept the server. We’re done. Check, please. The server nodded. The goon turned to Naomi. It’ll probably be painful. He has a nasty streak, and you two really pissed him off. We had to abandon our Themura operation.

Sorry to hear that, Naomi deadpanned.

Outside the restroom, the Crimson Orchid operative said, Don’t do anything stupid, okay? He pushed the door open and looked inside. Empty.

Jax smiled. Who, me? He pushed past the man, looking inside. You gonna come help? He winked.

The man shoved Jax, following him inside. Hurry up.

Jax moved to the urinal. Oh, dammit! he hissed.

You piss yourself?

Jax turned. Someone took a dump in the urinal. He motioned the other man over. Who does that? So fucking gross!

Curious, the Crimson Orchid operative came up next to Jax. The moment he leaned past Jax to look, the much smaller Jax grabbed the man’s necktie, pulling his head down as hard and fast as he could, slamming it into the top of the urinal.

Jax drove a fist into the man’s midsection before pulling him again, face first, into the top of the urinal. The man fell to the ground, unconscious and bloody. The urinal sported a few new cracks.

Idiot, Jax mumbled, stepping around the prone form. After washing his hands, he opened the door and slipped out. Moving quickly back toward the table with Naomi and the other Crimson Orchid goon, he spotted the perfect distraction.

He reached up and pulled the fire alarm.

THIS IS NOT A DRILL

The fire alarm rang out, followed by the automated voice. May I have your attention, please? The alarm blared, then, This is an emergency. Please walk quickly and safely to the nearest exit. The alarm rang out again, then repeated the message.

Naomi’s goon looked around frantically, which was all the opening she needed. She grabbed his belt in one hand while her nearest foot lashed out, knocking his feet out from under him. As he fell, she used his belt to guide his upper body to collide with the table. Mugs of beer and mozzarella sticks bounced up into the air. Her captor momentarily stunned, she stood, grabbing his hair and slamming his head into the table twice, then once more for good measure. She let go of his belt, allowing him to fall to the ground, limbs like wet noodles. Leaning over, she slapped his cheek. No reaction.

Naomi looked at the panicked restaurant goers rushing to the exit, food and drinks all over the floor. Okay, this place is less fun, she said to herself.

Jax walked up. Guess you didn’t need me.

Naomi turned, grinning, Never do. When she saw his face fall, she added, If it helps your fragile male ego, I needed the distraction. So, thanks. In the background, the alarm was still droning, the automated message repeating. The restaurant was almost empty now. She looked around. Back door. Jax nodded and followed her.

The back of the restaurant was not an alley, but another street. This place is an entire block? Jax looked around at the back of the TGI Fridays. Jeesh. He looked up and down the street to get his bearings. Spaceport is this way. He headed off up the street.

As they crossed the street, a matte black luxury sedan came around the corner. An older model, no hover engine. It rolled on smart material tires similar to Rudy’s rollerball. Uh oh, Naomi said, pointing. The sound of approaching sirens drowned out the whine of the sedan’s motor increasing power as it bore down on them. Naomi grabbed Jax’s elbow, guiding him the opposite direction, down a small alley between two boutiques offering the latest in Nuevo Santiago summer fashions.

Jax tapped his earpiece. Baxter, we’ve got ourselves a situation here.

You need me to save you, the droid replied from aboard the Osprey.

We wouldn’t object, Naomi offered after tapping her own earpiece to join the conversation.

Rudy cut in, I’ll guide you. There was a pause, then, Turn right when you exit the street and cross the street. There’s an alley.

As they entered the alley that Rudy told them about, a blaster bolt struck the building to their left, raining chips of concrete down on them. Naomi and Jax moved from a jog to a sprint as the black sedan roared past the mouth of the alley. One of the goons from before leaned out the passenger side window to fire on them.

As Naomi and Jax ran through alleys ducking occasional blaster fire, Baxter was leaping from building to building, already halfway between the spaceport and Jax’s location. Almost there, he beamed to Rudy.

You’re gonna have to move quick for this next block, Rudy said. There’s an open-air market between you and Baxter. Try to blend in and make it to the other side.

Naomi and Jax exited their alley, coming to a stop. Hundreds of shoppers were milling about across the street from them. They walked as quickly as they could across the street just as the black sedan slid into view. With no regard for traffic laws, the car came to a stop, and both Crimson Orchid operatives exited the vehicle.

Excuse me, coming through, Naomi repeated over and over, trying to move through the midday shoppers. She glanced over her shoulder when they hit the halfway point through the shopping area. Crap, they’re almost on us! she hissed as she not-politely shoved a suited man aside. Sorry, nice suit, she said over her shoulder. The man made a rude gesture.

Jax looked around. Rudy?

Keep going. When you get to the street, cross and go left.

The spaceport is to the right, Jax protested.

And Baxter is to the left, the navigation droid retorted.

There! Naomi pointed across the street to a large electronics store and the alley next to it. As they left the crowded shopping area, they turned their fast walk back into a sprint. At least they’re not shooting the place up, Naomi said as they crossed the street.

As they reached the alley, a hover car honked as both Crimson Orchid operatives crossed the street. The woman from the restaurant slammed a hand down on the hood and cursed the driver.

Uh, Rudy, this alley is a dead end, Jax said as he and Naomi got halfway down the length of the narrow space. Several doors lined the sides of the cramped space. Rudy didn’t answer. Jax tried a door handle. Locked. Naomi tried a handle on the opposite side, also locked.

At the open end of the alley, two suited thugs stopped. Well, this was easier than I expected, one said loud enough for Jax and Naomi to hear. Both operatives pulled pistols from under their suit jackets.

Jax and Naomi backed all the way to the brick wall at the end of the alley. With their backs to the wall, Jax said, Look, guys, I’m sure we can come to some sort of arrangement. We just got paid for a job. I can transfer the credits to you.

As the two organized crime goons came closer, a matte black shadow dropped from above, landing with a metallic thud. Both stopped, turning to look behind them as Baxter stood up from his landing. With a metal-on-metal snikt sound, blades deployed from both forearms. Oh, shit, one said as he raised his pistol. The woman said nothing, raising her pistol and opening fire.

Knowing better, Jax closed his eyes as Baxter bolted toward the two criminals, their blaster bolts doing little to slow the combat droid down. He raised a hand to Naomi’s face to shield her eyes. She swatted his hand away, then tightly closed her eyes. The screams truncated into low gurgles, then fell silent.

Naomi opened her eyes. Ew, Naomi moaned, turning to look at Jax, his eyes still closed.

Baxter’s blades made the same noise retracting as they did deploying. Two fewer problems of the Crimson Orchid variety, he said nonchalantly.

SIDEWAYS

Exiting the alley as Baxter scaled the wall to return to the Osprey the same way he’d come, Naomi scolded, I told you we needed to be more careful, that the moment we leave Kelso, they’re on us. She hitched her thumb over her shoulder to the two bodies.

Jax waved her concern away. They didn’t show up last week on Sandusky.

That’s because no one likes Sandusky, Naomi retorted, turning toward the spaceport. I’m just saying, unless we deal with this, they’re gonna keep showing up.

You make it sound like it’s an overdue library book, Jax replied, flagging down an auto-cab. The door slid open, and he extended a hand for Naomi to get in first. It’s the freaking mafia. You know, the mafia that tried to frame and kill us on Jebidiah. The mafia that we outsmarted, sorta. The mafia that still wants us dead.

Naomi slid into the cab, making room for Jax. Fair, but we gotta do something. She wrinkled her nose and lifted a foot off of something squishy.

Destination? the Rudimentary Intelligence, or RI, in control of the vehicle asked. The dash had a pixelated face on it.

Castellón Spaceport, Jax grunted, getting settled.

Acknowledged, the vehicle replied as it pulled away from the sidewalk. The face turned into an 8-bit display of their progress toward the spaceport.

Jax looked at his business partner. I’m open to ideas.

I hate to interrupt, Skip, the Osprey’s Sentient Intelligence, or SI,