Porch Rocker: A Mac Burns Novel

By Phil Perkins

Retired Atlanta police detective Mac Burns was trying to enjoy retirement in the lowcountry town of Bluffton, South Carolina. He had planned to live a quiet, even solitary life after a challenging career and messy divorce. In his fifties, he never presumed he would meet a much younger woman who would change his view towards retirement. Shelby Crewe became his love interest and true partner as he faced new challenges that call upon his training in law enforcement.

When asked by a neighbor to gather information about a fading rock star who had been accused of murder, Mac couldn't resist getting involved, asking some questions, and reviewing the evidence. Couldn't hurt.

Charles "Deacon" Martin had been arrested and charged with negligent homicide of his fiance. The singer had no recollection of the incident and was so distraught that he hadn't mounted much of a defense. Mac had a hunch something was amiss.

Porch Rocker is a classic "who done it" that takes Mac Burns, Shelby, and his neighbor Percy (a disbarred attorney) from Bluffton to Atlanta, and then to Birmingham in search of the truth.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Mar 28, 2022
• ISBN: 9781665554831

Phil Perkins

Phil Perkins is a writer, businessman, and musician who lives in Richmond, Virginia and Hilton Head Island with wife Sandi and two pups. He is the author of several business books and blogs frequently. His interest in surfing and surf culture motivated him to write his first works of fiction, The Legend of Corky Sandoval and the sequel, Corky's Beach Bar. Lowcountry Boil and Porch Rocker were his first departure from his beach-oriented roots and introduces new characters in the series of Mac Burns novels. Phil often says that his heart is in the lowcountry, that section of South Carolina that includes his much loved Hilton Head Island.

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© 2022 Phil Perkins. All rights reserved.

Cover Design by Sandra Dube

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 03/28/2022

ISBN: 978-1-6655-5484-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6655-5483-1 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

CONTENTS

Dedication

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Chapter Thirty

Chapter Thirty-One

Chapter Thirty-Two

Chapter Thirty-Three

Chapter Thirty-Four

Chapter Thirty-Five

Chapter Thirty-Six

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Chapter Forty

Chapter Forty-One

Chapter Forty-Two

Chapter Forty-Three

Chapter Forty-Four

Chapter Forty-Five

Chapter Forty-Six

Chapter Forty-Seven

Chapter Forty-Eight

DEDICATION

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Lately I’ve been trying to take particular care in writing this part of my books. For a time, I had the habit of leaving out people I clearly should have mentioned. My only excuse was that I’ve had so many influences during my lifetime and so many friends and family that have positively impacted my life that it’s just plain difficult to give them all their due. So, I’m going to take a different approach this time.

When I read a novel, I pay close attention to character development. If a character in the book, whether protagonist or antagonist, or even bit player, is well defined and three dimensional the reader will accept them. They may love or hate a particular person in a book. They may root for the hero or against the villain. But part of the fun of immersing yourself in a good book is anticipating a character’s next move. It can become a little movie in your mind. At least it does in mine.

I want to start with the characters that emerged in no small part because of my wife Sandi. Not only have we enjoyed a long and loving marriage, but she’s also been my partner in every sense of the word. You’ll find that Shelby Crewe in this book and in Lowcountry Boil owes her empathy and sense of responsibility to others to Sandi. The character Abby in my first novella, The Legend of Corky Sandoval, owes her independence and creativity to Sandi. Greg’s wife Lee in Corky’s Beach Bar owes her ability to keep her perspective and stay strong in the face of adversity to Sandi. You’ll find lots of Sandi’s loving nature in all of my books. I can’t hope to repay her dedication to making every day a better one. My books in some small measure pay tribute to how she has changed my life.

You’ll find other loved ones and friends in my books as well. The dashing character Duke in the first Corky book is based in part on my equally dashing brother Randy. The fiercely competitive female surfer Alexa in the same book owes a debt to my sister Bethany.

The disbarred attorney, Percy, has a bit of my brother-in-law Pete, mixed with my old friend Fergy.

And the list goes on. I thank our cousins up in New England for our longstanding friendship. You know you’re in at least one of the books.

I thank our nephew Jeff for his friendship and family devotion. You’re in there too, Jeff.

To the boys in the band, you’ll have to look but you’ll find yourselves in there from time to time.

And a quick thank you to magazine editor Annie Tobey who asked me in an interview why there are dogs in each novel. I told her because they just make life better. Thanks, Annie, for doing me the honor of publishing some of my articles.

They say write what you know. I also write who I know. Just sayin.

…and here’s to Mac and Hero wherever they are.

CHAPTER ONE

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Mac Burns had an uneasy feeling. Since retiring as a police detective in Atlanta, he had tried in earnest to quietly enjoy retirement. He had moved to what he thought was a sleepy little town called Bluffton in South Carolina. As it turned out, the tourists flocking to Hilton Head Island forced him to stick to the back roads when he headed to the local gym.

Mac carried a good bit of guilt, blaming himself for the implosion of his marriage. He’d let his career become a demanding mistress. As a result, he had little interest in trying again when he retired. Anyway he had figured he was too old for any romantic entanglement, even though he was only in his early fifties. Then came Shelby, a beautiful woman several years his junior. They had met at a nearby fish house where Shelby waited tables and Mac visited frequently to enjoy a lowcountry boil, a specialty of the area.

Mac and Shelby were able to chat briefly on each visit. The ex-cop had managed to ensure that he was seated in Shelby’s section every time. He always kept a five-dollar bill handy to ensure success with the greeter. After much anxiety and self-doubt Mac had finally worked up the courage to ask Shelby out and they’d dated since then. Both had even uttered the word that begins with L and ends with E and was much more to the point than like.

Mac’s next-door neighbor was one Richard Percival or Percy as he preferred to be called. Percy was a disbarred attorney who had done time for a fraud scheme involving his employer. Long story for another day but Percy swore he was innocent and that he had been set up. Mac had no reason to disbelieve him.

Even though Mac had set out to live a solitary life, he found he didn’t much mind having a couple of friends…and one with benefits to boot. It helped brush away the monotony of get up, get coffee, go to the gym, work out, come home, watch TV, eat a Hungry Man dinner and go to bed. Now his days were more like wake up, see if Shelby is next to him, if she is, kiss her and decide who makes breakfast, if not, get coffee, if Shelby is there…skip the gym (you had your workout he thought), kiss Shelby goodbye as she goes to work, read the paper, drink with Percy, order pizza, go to bed either with or without Shelby.

It was four o’clock in the afternoon on a humid but breezy day in late July. Mac was sitting on his front porch finishing up the Island Packet. The Packet was the local newspaper and the island referred to was the aforementioned Hilton Head, just across the bridge from Bluffton. To Mac the island could have been another world altogether. He didn’t want to have anything to do with the tourists that flocked the island in peak season. He thought of them as loud and crude, but his limited exposure to them made that opinion lacking in substance. None the less, he seldom crossed the bridge.

At Mac’s feet was the little dog called Hero. Hero belonged to a young fellow who boarded with his neighbor Percy, but the pup ended up spending a fair amount of time with Mac. The young man, whose name was Kevin, was doing community service at a local food bank after trying to hold up a gas kiosk at the Walmart with a squirt gun. Percy had determined to keep an eye on him so he, too, volunteered at the food bank. Thus, Mac became a default dog sitter. He didn’t mind at all, having bonded with Hero some time ago.

As if on cue, Percy appeared with what at first glance was a pitcher of mojitos. Sure enough, it was. Percy extoled the virtues of making a true southern mojito with a nice smooth vodka, not the much more routine and boring white rum. He was anything but a traditionalist.

What’s shaken, detective? Percy opened up.

Nothing that a washed-up ambulance chaser would understand. Mac returned the volley.

Man, you hate cop references don’t you?

Those days are behind me…at least I hope so this time. Mac responded.

Mac had endured one last case involving an old acquaintance from Atlanta. While he had ultimately brought that escapade to an end, he wasn’t much inclined to take on any further adventures.

Where’s Shelby? Percy asked.

She has a long shift today. I hate it that she has to put in so many hours.

She’s a lady with her own mind.

Mac didn’t respond, nor did he disagree.

I was reading that since the end of pandemic several new restaurants are opening up along 278 and over on the island.

La de da. Mac responded.

278 was the highway that led from Interstate 95 to and even across Hilton Head Island. The retired cop knew that more restaurants meant more tourists and more traffic.

Mac fetched some glasses and Percy poured two mojitos. Both men took long drinks and Mac voiced his approval.

Nicely done, Mr. Percival!

Thank you kindly, Mr. Burns.

I think you were talking about taking Shelby on a vacation somewhere. Do you have a plan? Percy inquired.

Not really but I did float the idea of the Florida Keys. She seemed to like that option. We could drive that in a little over ten hours if the traffic cooperates.

Sounds like a good time. I was there a time or two, mostly attending small conventions. Loved hanging around on Mallory Square. You see every variation of humanity there when the sun goes down and the green flash happens.

The green flash?

Er….never mind, if you go you’ll see what I mean. Percy declined to explain.

Anyway, it’s totally up to her. I feel like I owe her a little break after dragging her all the way to Atlanta to finish up some of my business.

And rough business it was. She certainly deserves some time in the sun.

Percy, I’m not sure I’ve asked you this before but do you imagine ever going back to the practice of law? Do you even want to? Mac asked, knowing it was a touchy subject.

Look Mac, here’s the truth. I want to clear my name and reclaim my credentials. What I do with that is yet to be determined. Like you I don’t have any pressing desire to go back to work, but things need to be set right. Percy responded with a certain amount of animation.

I’ll drink to that. Mac said raising his glass.

CHAPTER TWO

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Shelby had become a routine part of virtually every day of Mac’s life. Often she would come by after her shift and the two of them would spend the evening in front of the television. Shelby had developed an addiction to watching HGTV shows, particularly those dealing with remodeling. Mac had spent more than a little time trying to determine what that meant. Was she sending him a message about domesticating him or was it a signal that his house needed a do over? He decided he was overthinking it.

On some nights Mac would take Shelby out for a movie or for her favorite pastime, miniature golf. Shelby had explained that as a child her family had loved outings involving the scaled down version of the Masters. Mac conceded that she was far more accomplished at it than he, but then he had only tried it when they were together. Often they would bet on the outcome. Usually, it involved who would make breakfast the next day. If he won, which was almost never, it would mean Shelby preparing eggs benedict. If she won he knew how to make killer Eggos.

Mac figured the relationship was fairly solid. Not too long ago they had weathered an unexpected sidebar to their journey together, one that ultimately involved murder. Mac blamed his background in law enforcement for that misstep. Luckily no one who mattered to either of them was the victim.

Friday nights Shelby had to work the dinner shift. As had been Mac’s routine since they met, he headed over to the fish house to enjoy a lowcountry boil. He loved the combination of crab legs, corn, potatoes, and sausage. Lately the owners of the place had been ordering Linguica, a Portuguese sausage from Gaspar’s in Dartmouth, Massachusetts. Linguica was more tangy and flavorful than the Polish sausage often used in the southern treat. Mac was impressed with the attention to detail, but more impressed with how naturally Shelby delivered classy service to the clientele, both local and tourist trade.

What wasn’t part of the routine was inviting Percy to join him. The two men had been through a few rough spots together and now could, at least for the time being, kick back and enjoy some down time. Percy appreciated the invitation.

Hope I’m not intruding on your time with Shelby. He said looking sheepishly at Mac.

Hell no! She’s busy. I’m hungry. I’m happy for the company. Mac assured his friend.

Should I order the boil? Percy asked.

Come on Percy, why would I ask you here if I didn’t recommend the boil.

Point taken.

When Shelby approached the table she knew what to expect.

Two boils?

Uh…you guessed it. Mac confirmed.

Drinks?

I’ll have a Tito’s and tonic. Percy quickly replied.

Bombay Sapphire for me. Mac chimed in.

I gotta tell you guys there’s a great appetizer tonight…calamari, deep fried and tender. Shelby offered up.

Shelby, my dear, I don’t want to eat anything that has enough legs to crawl out of the ocean and take me in my sleep. Mac said with definite tongue in cheek.

Mac, all the crabs you eat could do that if they put their mind to it. Shelby pointed out.

Okay, we’ll share an order if you endorse them.

Consider them endorsed.

When Shelby returned to the kitchen Percy piped up.

You know, she’s a terrific girl, Mac. You’re very lucky.

Percy, if one more person reminds me of that I’m going to blow a gasket. But you are right. Lucky man.

The two men reverted to small talk until the calamari was delivered. Shelby had been right. It was tender, lightly breaded, and delicious.

Mac noticed that the light level had been diminishing gradually during their time there. It was early in the season and too early for sundown at that time. Finally, he heard a rumble of thunder in the distance.

Might have a storm blowing up. He said to Percy.

I heard that storms coming in off the ocean are far worse than those coming from the mainland. Percy said. Do you know if that’s true?

Nope. Never really had to worry about it. Anyway, no way of knowing here I guess.

Over the next several minutes the thunder grew more insistent and lightning began to crackle. The fact that the storm had blown up so suddenly seemed to concern many people