Regina

By Michael A Henderson

The girl made for fun has no idea what to do with herself when not having fun.

Regina simply can't sit still long enough to find herself. Rather than patience, she prefers the life of a queen, for queens are adored, idolized, entertained and obeyed. She, who hates being cruel to others, too often finds herself being cruel with her affectio

• Language: English
• Publisher: Killer Bs
• Release date: Dec 28, 2021
• ISBN: 9780998719573

Michael A Henderson

Dr. M.A. Henderson, married and father of three, lives in eastern Washington state. As a chemist, he has published 145 scientific articles, spoken before international audiences, and travelled extensively in the U.S. and abroad. Marna is the third in a series on the Fruit of the Spirit. As a graduate of the University of Texas, at Austin, the novel reflects his envy of all things Texan.

Book preview

CHAPTER

1

THE GAME

You don’t have to be good at it... you just have to enjoy playing. So let’s start with the essentials. The key to the game is patience. You can go as fast as you like… nothing wrong with that… but what the game really teaches you is thinking ahead. That’s where patience comes in, because every series of moves has its benefits and consequences. It takes a quiet mind to sort all that out. If you’re in a rush, distracted or not concentrating, then you’re sure to make a mistake. But even if you do make a mistake, patience is there to remind you it’s only a game. So forget about winning or losing, and just take your time in seeing the whole board. And if it helps, focus instead on appreciating the person on the other side.

Following a step behind Roxy, she came through the gym doors and stopped cold.

Damn! This place is totally empty!

OK… maybe not totally. There were plenty of adults… but those hardly counted. Neither did the fans on the visiting side… or the pep band shuffling into their section of the bleachers. What she really cared about was the space running up from behind where her team would soon be. The entire student section was a ghost town. Only a few kids here and there. Not anywhere near the sweet spot. Nobody cool ever showed up early, so claiming a seat right now would make her look desperate… and weird. Like she was begging for someone to come sit with her. No, it was always better to show up after the start… as she had told Roxy over and over. But Roxy lived in fear of being late… as if late was some monster lurking behind the last tick of the clock. Poor Roxy just had to be early for everything because poor Roxy was made that way. Not her. She had told Roxy a million times – it was all about attitude.

You never miss out on something special if you’re that something special!

She proved that during football season. It never mattered how much time came off the clock, no game ever got started until she showed up. She was the master of the grand entry. Had done it superbly so many times before. For classes, assemblies, parties and even dinner. Football games were the absolute best! Moving up and down the stands, she loved making an unbelievable racket out of hunting for that one row jam-packed with the coolest of the cool… then causing an even greater scene in working to the middle… maybe accidently falling into the lap of some cute guy along the way. Never would she get intimidated at being cursed out, flipped off or shoved about. Actually… she kind of preferred it. She was such a pro at putting on a show of apologizing… super thick… that nobody hassled her for long. She would then wedge herself in wherever, laughing her head off in the process. Everybody loved a clown… especially a badass one willing to do whatever it took for getting attention.

Though it really sucks being stuck in one place for an entire game… which is why they invented timeouts. That’s when I get to do the whole thing all over again somewhere else in the student section. After all, the game on the field’s never as good as the one in the stands.

But this was basketball season, where the game in the bleachers was totally different. At least she already knew where to sit… had been planning it for eons… and there she would stay for the entire game. So maybe Roxy insisting on coming early was a good thing. Except… this felt way too early. She looked to the scoreboard clock.

Tipoff’s not for another… twenty minutes. How the hell am I supposed to sit around doing nothing for twenty minutes?!

Come on, Gina… why’re you still standing there?!

Fuck this! No one’s here yet. Let’s go check out the locker room instead. You know… sometimes they leave the doors propped open so you can see all the way into...

Forget that! You might not care, but no way I’m getting labeled as a perv. Besides, I want a cupcake before all the good ones are gone.

Linking an arm in hers, Roxy swung her in the direction of the booster table. She always loved that about Roxy. From grade school on, it had only been just the two of them skipping along to the words of We’re Off to See the Wizard. It never mattered where they were going or what they were doing, singing that song with Roxy always made the moment perfect.

Except for tonight. The last thing she needed was to be reminded of that cowardly lion. So she endured a couple skips before wrenching her arm free.

Will you stop it?! We’re not kids anymore!

What’s bothering you now?! It’s like…you’ve hardly been yourself all day!

I’m just not in the mood for making an ass of myself… but you’re welcome to it. I’m taking a seat.

Turning back to the gym doors, she left Roxy to do whatever the hell Roxy would do. Yet on reaching the same spot as before, she could not help taking a peek over her shoulder. Roxy was trotting off to the booster table, not so much as showing the slightest effort to join her.

Fine! Just make me sit alone looking like an idiot!

It was true. She was not being herself. At any other time, she would have made a meal out of getting cupcakes with Roxy. It was all because of the thing she had decided to do this night. How it would come about, she could not yet say… only that it would definitely be tonight.

Best not think about that. Not until it’s time. Just… stay in the moment, Gina.

Though she hated being left alone, she hated even more the idea of being made to look like she was alone. That had nothing to do with craving popularity. Well… mostly nothing to do with it. She just despised the on-edge jitteriness that came from sitting by herself. Like her chest was caving in… or her heart was winding down without someone there to recharge it. She would rather lie, steal or cheat her way to attention than be left alone. Or ignored.

She looked to the student section again. There were a few more kids than before… but none she knew. None yet, at least. Of course, she had no problem chatting up strangers like best friends. Her brothers always teased her about that, but she knew they were impressed. The whole family could be standing in Times Square and it would be her – the youngest – who first recognized someone she knew. Honestly… she could never figure out why everybody was not more like her. Making friends was super easy.

Well… just don’t stand around looking like a dork. Go grab the good spot. You’ll have plenty of kids for company soon enough. Remember – it’s all about attitude.

Before making a move, she took off her windbreaker and wrapped its sleeves about her waist. Checking that the knot was secure, she shifted the brim of her Sox cap around back. Because that did not feel quite right, she lifted the cap off, tucked her hair behind each ear and then put it back on. Now she was ready.

It might not be the proper thing, but definitely the cool one. While everyone entering the gym was making their way around the perimeter in taking seats on the other side, she would do something different. Something that got everyone’s attention. Stepping directly into the court, she took her sweet time in heading for the middle. She could sense many eyes becoming aware of her, as members of the pep band interrupted their tune-up to glance her way. Same for the small clusters of kids in the student section and parents scattered about the stands. Even whoever the hell had travelled with the visiting team was probably watching. Reaching the midcourt circle, she followed the painted line around in a loop… then spun out in an elaborate through-the-legs dribble toward the top of the key nearest the pep band. Out of the corner of her eye, she picked up on the cheerleaders making nasty faces. Without seeming to care whether anyone was watching… though she hoped they all were… she locked onto the backboard and took her stance. Hesitating just long enough to make clear what was coming, she lifted both arms… one hand atop the other… and sprang off her toes. Flicking her wrist, she felt the imaginary leather roll off her fingertips. Then touching back down after a slight fade-away, she tracked the arc of her make-believe jump shot, knowing from years of playing B-ball with her brothers how long it would take. Her pretend sphere ripped nothing but net. As good as anything Tony was sure to accomplish during the game itself. She topped it off by throwing her arms up in a buzzer-beating celebration of victory.

All that would have been for nothing had not voices from the stands shouted out their boos… with some guy in the pep band yelling ‘Roselli – get the hell off the court!’ She gave her fans an elaborate bow before swaggering across the remaining stretch of court to her target spot in the bleachers. Climbing up one row behind where the squad would soon be gathered, she settled herself more or less into the center. From here, she could chat up any player not out on the court… even Coach O’Reilly, if she felt like it.

Perfect!

Leaning back on the row behind, she brought both hands around to interlock fingers over the ‘B’ on her cap. Tracing the stitched outline with a fingertip, she took pleasure in knowing this to be her one true team. Gino said it himself… or maybe it was one of her other brothers. It really did not matter which. ‘A true fan had only one team.’ They might root for many others across all sorts of sports, but only one team got the heart and soul. Of course, each of her brothers had sold out to the pin-striped hell of that evil empire rather than follow in Dad’s footsteps. They loved being winners more than being true. One day, they would all see. The curse would be broken and they would get every I-told-you-so they deserved.

Being careful not to look, she listened for what might be going on around her. No one was near enough to risk turning about. Not without seeming like she was searching for company.

Come on, Roxy… don’t leave me hanging.

Face it… you’re stuck. You can’t get up now. Not without looking like a total fool. Just… chill out. It’ll only be a couple more minutes before a crowd’s flocking to you.

With chest tightening, she needed to find an outlet. Extending her arms along the bench, she started strumming her fingers to the pep band’s warmup. Yet not too many beats in, she decided this might not be so cool. Everybody loved the pep band when it was on, but nobody did when it was not. There had to be a better way of looking as if she had not a care in this world… otherwise, the tension would eat her up. It really did not have to be like this. But no… Roxy just had to insist on a stupid cupcake. Any second now, some pathetic loser was sure to plop down beside her. Hard to ignore an undesirable if Roxy was not here doing her job as a best friend.

The minutes wore on… and still no Roxy. Facing straight ahead, she shifted her eyes toward the stretch of hall off the gym where Roxy had gone for a cupcake. There the girl stood, chatting it up with some baked-goods mother behind the booster table. After what seemed like forever, Roxy opened her purse… and she could not believe how long it was taking the girl to count out pennies. Just like some old lady at the market!

Thank God! Here she comes at last!

With a cupcake in each fist, Roxy headed over… except taking her time doing it. The girl kept totally off the court in making broad turns at the corners. Roxy never did anything crazy without being made to… by her, of course. Somehow, that had her feeling a bit better about being left alone.

Hey, Gina… look what I got you. It’s red velvet over…

What the hell took you so long?!

Excuse me?! You could’ve come… or maybe you had something better to do?! Here… take it.

I’m not touching that shit.

Come on, Gina… I got it just for you… because I know how much you like…

I don’t need the calories.

Really?! Your figure’s got absolutely nothing to worry about. Just have a taste.

Roxy… it’s not cool to be seen eating cupcakes at a ball game. Makes you look like you’re not with it.

Don’t be such a fart. Nothing’s even started yet. Besides… nobody cares if you’re eating a cupcake at a basketball game. And it’s not like you pay attention anyway.

The hell I don’t! I follow every play.

Yeah… right. You follow every guy making every play.

Well… so what?! Who doesn’t?! That’s the whole point of being here.

Having sat, Roxy began peeling back the paper on her chocolate-covered cupcake. How the girl went at it – delicately pulling away small bits in several trips around – had always been Roxy’s way of doing things. But more than that, Roxy was sending a message. ‘I know you, Gina. I know what makes you tick. You wished you’d gone with me.’

Just to be annoying, she snatched up the red velvet cupcake Roxy placed on the bleacher between them and bit off as much of it as could be shoved into her mouth… getting some of the paper in the process. Roxy, nibbling on hers, did not flinch. So… she dropped the remainder to the floorboard and kicked it into the unseen region beneath the stands.

Why’d you do that?

Don’t worry… they’ve got people to clean up after. Just giving them something to do.

No… I mean why’d you only eat part? I’d have taken the rest. That thing cost me real money.

Whatever.

Roxy just had to turn away… which was worse than being seen sitting alone. Everyone would know they were fighting.

Fine! I’ll make it up to you! Feel better now?!

Don’t bother. I didn’t get you something so you’d owe me something.

Hey… I’m sorry, OK?!

Yeah… I’m sure you mean it from the bottom of your heart. Gina… you’ve been in a shitty mood all day!

There was nothing she could say to that. She had been in a shitty mood all day… and Roxy knew why. They practically whispered their way through second period discussing it. Fifth too… not to mention lunch. So there was no sense bringing the subject up again… though she was going to anyway. The reason had just come strolling through the gym doors.

Great! Here come my parents!

Oh good. Mind if I go say hi? Your dad’s always so…

She held out an arm to keep Roxy from hopping off the bleacher."

Don’t bother. They’ll be coming here first. You can count on it.

Gina… they’re only looking out for you... especially with what happened after you broke up with Kenny at the New Year’s Eve party.

I hardly had anything to drink.

Face it, you were totally hosed… and it’s not like you weren’t warned to stay away from the…

Treat me like a fuckin’ china doll! Tony gets to go.

Tony’s a senior.

I don’t care.

She tracked her parents as they made the bends around the court. Neither looked her way, though she knew they had already spotted her. They had, like… radar for her. Blindfold them both and they could still hunt her down… even in a jam-packed arena.

She sensed Roxy sit up straighter, getting herself ready to flirt with Dad. Most times, that would make her proud. That her father could be considered cool by her best friend. Other times, she thought it creepy. Today… it was just plain irritating. Well… she was definitely not going to sit up in her seat for them. They deserved to be ignored… though it was probably better to be pleasant so they moved along.

Man… that would be totally embarrassing having them sit here!

Timing it just right, she turned away at the perfect moment in which they could not tell whether she had seen them coming. Out of one eye, she sensed Roxy wave as they approached.

Disgusting!

Regina?

With her best over-the-top show of surprise, she jerked her head around with a flinch, allowing the biggest smile to burst across her face.

"Mother… Father! I’m so delighted to see you both! Why… it seems like forever since we last saw each other!"

Ahh… nice to see you too. What’s it been… thirty minutes?

She threw back her head in a ridiculous display of false laughter, slapping herself on the knee in the process.

"Dad… you’re such a wit! No wonder Roxy’s got an unbelievable crush on you!"

She could not fully make out Roxy to the side… but the way Dad’s eyes shot that way… and Mom’s rolled in her sockets… showed she had gotten all three of them.

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Roselli.

Hello to you too, Roxanne. I assume your folks are somewhere here… seeing as you two came with them.

They are… but I don’t know where. We lost track of them out front.

She followed her parents’ eyes. Mom scanned the bleachers to the left… and Dad, the right… which meant neither looked to the gap in the middle where sat their precious daughter.

It’s like they’re purposely avoiding me!

There was only one thing she hated more than being treated like a little girl… and that was when they went out of their way to ignore their little girl as some stupid punishment.

So if they’re going to embarrass me… then I’m going to embarrass them too.

She sprang up onto the bleacher row below and threw an arm around both. With her head above theirs, the height difference was especially useful. She hoped it made them feel like the children in the relationship. As slobbery as possible, she planted a kiss on the forehead of each. Then before either could react, she collapsed back onto the bleacher and slouched down as far as one could go… looking off as if bored with their presence. She still picked up on those delicious glares that told her the message had been received. After a glance to each other, they moved up the bleacher rows to find seats back there somewhere with other old people.

Think you overdid that?

Whatever. If they’re going to treat me like a little girl…

Gina… you don’t know how good you’ve got it. My parents are ten times more strict than yours… but you don’t see me pitching a pissy fit about it. Yours let Tony take a car out anytime he wants.

Your parents aren’t keeping you from going tonight… and mine don’t have the slightest idea what you two have been doing in the backseat.

Not cool, Gina.

Finally, what she had been waiting for happened. The pep band started up with the school’s fight song, so they both turned toward the opening from where the teams would come. Tony, being captain, charged out first… followed by the rest. Onto the court, some flunky tossed each player a ball… and the beautiful chaos of those wonderful male bodies went at it. Her eyes flew this way and that, soaking it all in. Really… if she had her way, she would collect the entire team into that circle at the top of the key and put up some kind of a sci-fi force field thingy to keep them inside with her. Well… not Tony. She would kick him out for sure. Years of him hogging the bathroom had turned a brother into a pain in the ass.

With a glance to her left, she could tell Roxy was doing like her… except Roxy only had eyes for Tony. So weird… she could never see herself settling for just one guy. Not when a whole world of them was out there waiting to be sampled. Out came the visiting team, so she turned that way to watch. The color of the jersey or the color of the skin never mattered to her, as long as it was male. She came back to her own players… who, after all, were much closer.

There was just something special about watching a guy shoot hoops. Everyone knew tank tops were designed so as not to restrict arm movement… but to her, their purpose was for showing off a guy’s muscles. So many girls worked themselves into a frenzy over football players, but all that padding just got in the way of what she wanted to see. Watching B-ball players do their thing… it always made her tingle on the inside. There was nothing like it for displaying the male body. Especially shirts versus skins! Either way, seeing a guy lift a ball into a jump shot… it perfectly highlighted his shoulder muscles. Guys made such a big deal out of their biceps, but those were more of a turn-on to them. For some reason, they were oblivious to what did it for her. Whatever those shoulder muscles were called… deltoidee-something-or-others… those things deliciously flexed and twisted during a jump shot. To her, those shoulder muscles were more male than all their junk… not that she had any firsthand knowledge of those parts. Not yet, at least… though she was certainly putting some imagination into it.

Hey, Regina… mind if I sit here?

Hearing her birthname startled her out of a delicious fantasy in which all those B-ball players were lined up for a drill involving her squeezing their muscles. Stepping down into the seat beside her was a spindly exhibition of a male, pale and homely from head to toe. That head was crowned with a greasy sort of reddish-brown mop, likely not combed in months. Equally, his high-tops were in desperate need of a wash. In between the top and bottom were baggy jeans and a Red Sox jersey shirt... the only good thing about this kid. That, and how the black plastic of his glasses somewhat distracted her from the acne on his face. Worse than how he looked, he had called her by a name only priests, nuns and her parents had the right to use. Thinking to set him straight, she first leaned around for a peek at the player’s name on the back of his jersey.

Wow – Carbo! One of Dad’s favorites. Now that’s something you don’t see very often.

Sorry… but this seat’s taken.

Oh… I just thought…

Do I know you?

To her surprise, the kid stuck out a hand. She made the shake quick, seeing as his grip was no more firm than Roxy’s.

It’s Patrick… from third period English. I sit, like… two over and two back from you. That’s two on a diagonal. You know… sometimes I like to think of a classroom as a matrix with…

Where’d you get the Bernie Carbo jersey? Can’t be MLB official. Number one’s already retired. Bobby Doerr… maybe you’ve heard of him. He was…

Two eighty eight career batting average. Two hundred and twenty three homers. Twelve hundred and forty seven runs batted in. Played second base for the Sox from 1937 to…

Yeah, yeah… I already know. So… what do you want?

Uhh… just to say hi.

Mission accomplished… so why’re you still here?

Ha… that’s funny! You know… I always like how you say the most…

Patrick… I don’t mean to be rude… but like I said… this seat’s taken.

Umm… OK. So… I guess I’ll see you around.

Having already turned away, she still followed the sound of him moving along the bleacher row… just to make sure he was gone. She hated being brusque… a word Mom used on her way too often… but even more hated having some loser squat in the seat beside her.

I think he likes you.

Whatever. He doesn’t even know me. He’s just attracted to my popularity.

In your dreams. Now Carol Kronin… she’s popular!

What’s she got to do with anything?

You’re kidding?! You don’t know?! That’s her little brother you were just talking to.

Looking over at the cheerleaders, it was not difficult to spot Carol – front and center. How in the world could such a drop-dead knockout have come from the same stock as that squirt of a kid?! The senior was the definition of a redheaded bombshell. Half the male population of the school was in love with her… Tony included. Best that Roxy not know about the wicked crush he had on Carol for most of his freshman year.

No way! There must’ve been a mix-up at the hospital. They don’t look anything alike.

Up close they do. I’ve been over to their apartment, you know… and seen them together. They’re brother and sister alright. You do realize it’s just the two of them? No parents in the picture.

No kidding? That’s weird.

She only ever had maybe a half-dozen conversations with Carol, the girl being two years ahead of her in school. Each one left her feeling jealous. Bright green eyes surrounded by all that flaming red hair… so much more interesting than the boring brown shade of her own. She had never been able to curl hers into the same luscious bounciness as Carol’s. What guy would not gladly get himself lost at sea in those buoyant waves?! But her own shortcomings did not stop at the hair. She was practically a swarthy pirate in comparison to Carol’s creamy smooth complexion. To make matters even worse, Carol had a figure that simply would not quit. From a stunningly pretty face down to perfect neck, shoulders, breasts, waist, hips and legs – that sort of a girl was welcome in the center of any group of guys.

Who am I fooling?! My size-A self doesn’t come close to matching up with the body of a girl like Carol! Thank God the girl’s graduating this year! Like… who needs that standard of comparison hanging around!

Then it hit her – the thing nagging at the back of her mind ever since the calendar turned over to 1997. Tony would be graduating too. She obviously already knew that… but the one-and-one-makes-two part of it had not registered until now. She would be the last kid left in the house. For a girl who had grown up in the shadow of four brothers, she should be ecstatic… but the thought just saddened her.

It explained a lot too. This had to be why Mom and Dad were keeping such a close eye on her. Doing shitty stuff like forbidding her from going to the after-game party. They were already clamping down since Tony would not be around much longer to do it for them. So unfair! Tony had been going to field parties long before turning sixteen. Not her. Not their little girl.

Which is why I’m taking matters into my own hands.

After finishing their drills, the team made for the folding chairs directly before her and began stripping off their warmups. What she would not give to be down there in the middle of that… but even she could not claim to be so bold.

With the tipoff done and the game underway, she found her eyes straying over to Carol. This was so stupid. She had selected this seat behind the team bench for a reason… and watching ditzy cheerleaders was not part of it. She had a choice to make… and being here was supposed to help her do it. Even Roxy was a distraction, what with her oohing and aahing over every move Tony made out on the court… or whispering sweet little encouragements whenever he was on the bench. She was doing that too… but equally to every player. She had the right to. She had known these guys from way back, having hung out with them plenty of times as the sister of a teammate. She had even made out with a few… but kept that from Roxy or it would surely get back to Tony.

Kids came and went in the stands around her, some taking up precious time in talking about all sorts of stupidity. That was bad since it brought her no closer to making up her mind, but also actually kind of good seeing as it distracted her from thinking about why she was making a choice in the first place.

With the teams clearing the benches at halftime and the entertainment taking to the court, she started making her plan. It would have to come between the end of the game and the party… or at the party itself… but how to pull it off? And then there was still the who.

Gina… I want another cupcake. Come with me this time to pick one out.

OK… but girls’ room first… then cupcake.

After laying out coats to save spots, they flowed along with the crowd moving around the court. Seeing as the visiting school’s dance team was up first, she took the opportunity to deal with something that had been irritating her since the beginning of the game. With Roxy and everyone veering behind the cheerleaders, she decided to cut in front… pausing before Carol so as to make her presence known.

Met your brother.

Excuse me?

I said I met your brother.

Ahh… OK.

Just thought you should know… and this is only my opinion… but he doesn’t look anything like you.

Without giving Carol a chance to respond, she continued on in front of the cheerleaders. Merging back into the stream of fans making their way around from behind, she ended up right beside Roxy.

The score bounced around throughout the second half. Whenever their team moved ahead, she doled out high fives to the bench… but when the other team took the lead, she cursed and moaned like everyone else in the student section. It was all for show. She was not that interested in basketball, seeing as its clock always made her tense. Still… this was a pretty good one… until Tony fouled out with a minute left. He took to the bench with a towel over his head, venturing only a quick look back at Roxy. That ref’s call would likely be the subject of dinner conversation for a week.

With twelve seconds left and a point down on the score, her team inbounded the ball. Pierson… to Lattimore… to Smith… back to Lattimore… whose layup caught too much of the board, careening over the far edge of the rim as the buzzer sounded. The other side’s fans erupted into cheers… and hers into groans. Despite the noise, she could still hear in her mind the voice of Gino pounding out instructions that went all the way back to the first time she learned how to dribble. ‘High off the glass on the side, Gina… low off the glass in front.’ Even she could have made that layup.

Along with everyone else in the gym, she followed the slow progression of Lattimore back to the bench. As her team huddled up for the postgame show of camaraderie, she decided this was not a circle of guys she wished to be part of. The two teams eventually did all that handshaking at midcourt while the fans emptied the stands. Roxy left to go console her boyfriend, so she made the rounds of the student section… complaining about the refs, badmouthing Lattimore’s final shot and just enjoying being with others. She had made her choice, but still wanted someone else with a car as a backup… just in case things did not work out.

When there was no more energy left in the stands, she headed to the boys’ locker room… the place where she knew Roxy would be waiting for ‘her Tony’.

For so many reasons, she loved hanging around the boys’ locker room after a game. It was where the real action took place. Football, basketball, hockey or baseball, it never mattered which. Being there as those guys emerged smelling of Irish Spring… or whatever soap they used… that was the best part of any game. With some, she kidded around. With others, she congratulated or consoled. It never mattered whether her team won or lost, seeing as her objective was to hug as many guys as possible. That way, she was the winner every time.

This habit may have come about from years of supporting four older brothers, but the heart of it was something entirely different. She just loved hanging around a group of guys… and not only the athletic ones. Driving past construction workers doing their thing at a job site always made her feel like she was missing out on something special. The ruggedness… the no-nonsense attitudes… the bullshitting… and all those sweaty muscles. Cops, soldiers, firemen, linemen, road maintenance… even bus drivers at Dad’s work… it only mattered that there were plenty of them. There was nothing like being in the middle of a bunch of men. Their attention was food for her soul.

Roxy obviously liked guys too… except Roxy had never understood her fascination with the locker room… probably because Roxy grew up with sisters. Of course, that point never held much traction with Roxy. (Gina… disgusting is disgusting, no matter who you grew up with.)

She got to the locker room just as the first of the team was stepping out. She knew these guys so well. Knew their older brothers equally well. From years of experience, she knew which ones to tease and which ones to talk serious sports with… yet she flirted with them all. Not Roxy, who hardly said a word to anyone until her Tony came out. Then Roxy just had to gush all over him… which was the worst part about having her best friend be her brother’s girlfriend.

Oh, baby… you fought so hard. I’m so sorry you lost.

It happens. Thanks for waiting.

Hey – I’m here too! Took you long enough. You’re, like… the last one out. Which she knew not to be true, for she had kept track. Did you remember to scrub behind your ears?

Funny. With an arm about Roxy, he glanced back into the locker room. Nah… Lattimore’s still in there. I was just giving him a pep talk. So… did you see that bullshit call for my third foul? Reaching in?! I wasn’t anywhere near that guy!

Yeah… but what about your fifth? That looked pretty lame to me.

Nah… I deserved that one. I clipped him real good.

Once again, he looked into the locker room… a bit longer than before.

What’s up, Tony?

Unbelievable! They set the guy up perfectly… and he couldn’t even make a damn layup!

As he turned back, it was her big brother again.

What’re you still doing here?! Mom and Dad are probably waiting on you!

Ease up, dude! Can’t a girl comfort her brother after a tough loss?! Besides… I told them I’d be catching a ride from Whitney.

She made it sound as boring as possible, even though Tony’s eyebrows perked up in disbelief. Fortunately, Roxy came to her rescue without knowing it.

Tony, baby… we really should get going. I still need to change before the… umm… you-know-what.

Geez, Roxy… I obviously know where you two are going. Just say it – the party!

Which is not where you’re heading, little sister! You got me?! You’re not pulling any of your typical bullshit tonight! Because if you do, it’ll be my ass in a sling for not watching over…

Relax! I said I was going home… …eventually.

Alright. Just making sure. So… I guess I’ll… see you in the morning.

They both waved goodbye… Roxy, with that ‘I feel so sorry for you, but am really glad not to be you’ lower lip droop of hers.

Ha! You’ll see me soon enough.

She waited until they had turned the corner to the back lot before setting a hand to the locker room door. Opening it a crack, she strained to listen for the slightest of sounds. No coaches, no players, no nothing. Creeping in, the first thing hitting her was the odor. A nacho-Dorito sort of thing mixed with the moisture-laden air from so many hot showers.

Sweaty feet and sweaty bodies.

Being the last and only girl on a four-brothered totem pole with only one bathroom, she was very familiar with the smell. Not that she liked it… for what teenage girl did… but in all her life, there had never been a thing that made her feel more secure. There was no way of explaining such weirdness. It simply was.

She heard the rattle of a locker door and peered around a corner. About halfway down the row sat Lattimore, him straddling a bench facing in her direction. With his head down, he had not yet become aware of her. That would change soon enough. It being muggy inside, she decided first to dump her hat, jacket and flannel overshirt before stepping out.

Hey…

He jumped, just as she knew he would.

You scared the shit out of me! What’re you doing in here?!

Just came to cheer you up.

He said nothing as she sat down facing him. Scooting up knees to knees on the bench, it was easy being this close. After all, they had made out a time or two in the past, though nothing much came of it. She knew he was more interested in girls like Carol Kronin. Still… it was enough that he seemed comfortable being near her. Placing a hand on his thigh, she waited for him to look up before speaking.

Come with me… I want to show you something.

Without giving him an opportunity to ask, she grabbed his wrists and yanked him off the bench. Doing her best to walk backward with him in tow, she led him around to the little room she knew of from having snuck in many times before. The one where the big bags of towels got pitched into piles before being collected by the laundry service. All the way there, she smiled for him. Sort of like she knew his particular pain… but also of how small that pain should feel compared to other things. What he might be thinking, she could not say… for he only gave a weak frown in return.

Once inside with the door closed, she acted quickly. Thrusting her thumbs into the waist band of his trunks, she hooked them about his jock strap and yanked downward. Before his embarrassment could produce anything resembling resistance, she wrapped both arms about his waist and pulled backward. In a tumble, they fell more-or-less where she had intended – him on top of her. She could feel beneath the bulges of damp towels crammed into canvas bags… but did not care. This was exactly where she had always fantasized it would happen. So now it was simply a matter of getting her jeans down… while kissing and being kissed. Fortunately, she had the wits to first draw from a pocket that thing she had stolen from its hiding place in Tony’s sock drawer.

Here… you put it on.

As he came up on his knees over her, she turned away as he ripped open the cover and fumbled with his junk. Only then did she realize how scared she had been all day. Scared of it hurting and scared she might not have the courage to see it through… ending up crying like a baby in begging him to stop. Yet more so, she was determined this night be the night. And if that was the case, then she would see as little of him as possible in the process. There was no modesty to it. She simply wished to retain a measure of dignity on the occasion of losing so much more.

Once ready, she allowed him to do his thing. There was a brief moment of awkwardness as he came down upon her again… and then she felt him enter. Not smoothly and not without some pain. It sort of… stung… more or less in the way Roxy and others had warned it might. But she stopped thinking about that discomfort once he commenced bouncing around on top of her.

Odd… there was no wonder to it. Just a tingle of what she had been able to accomplish on her own. As he worked his way into grunting, all she could think about was how wrong Roxy had been about sex.

‘The cotton candy goodness of a trip to Quassy’s mixed with the wonder of Broadway’s bright lights’… what total bullshit!

Breathing hard, he brought his face into the crook of her neck and began kissing her there… all the while thanking her over and over for what she had allowed him to do. ‘Cooing’ was the best word she could think to describe this behavior.

Don’t mention it. I felt sorry for you.

He instantly arched himself into a half push-up over her.

What the hell’s that supposed to mean?! I don’t want your pity! I want it to mean something!

His little-boy self was gone. The anger on his face… and the fact that she could now feel the tenseness in his arms and shoulders… that changed everything. This was more like it. More of what she had been hoping for. The tingle down there started to take off, so she closed her eyes to concentrate on forming a perfect mental image of the muscles in her grip – big, firm and bulging. With as much sweetness put into it as she could, her words surprised even herself.

Aww… did I hurt someone’s feelings? That’s so cute. It’s almost… sort of like… could be… ahh… umm… wow! Ooohhh! Now don’t move! Don’t – move – an inch!

Unable to produce another word, she shifted her grip to his rear and held on tight. The jeans about her ankles prevented her from wrapping him about, so she clutched with both knees to keep him still. Then it came – a rush much deeper than anything she had expected. With eyes locked shut, she went with the wave, allowing it to be all that mattered in this world.

Maybe she had screamed… it was hard to say… but as the quivers finished coursing their way through her legs, she opened her eyes to find a stunned look on his face. A bit embarrassed too. Tight-lipped without a smile, his eyes shifted away on becoming aware of hers.

Good God – that was fantastic! But what’s the matter now?

Nothing… only… probably should get going. Are you done?

Sure… just fuck me and leave.

Don’t say that! Don’t use that word! It’s… it’s not right.

He rolled off and began fussing with himself… pulling up his shorts in a quick and decisive manner. Sort of as if he was burying in one shovel-full a dead bird he had found in the yard. With him now facing away, she took the opportunity to pull up her own pants… something he seemed to be waiting for. Yet once she had finished, he began rubbing her back… smiling in a sad puppy dog sort of way. It was rather pathetic.

So… are you going to the party tonight?

As expected, he lowered his head at the question.

No. Not after what happened in the game. Everybody’d probably prefer I didn’t show up.

Seriously?! Nobody cares. It’s not like the team was making the playoffs.

You wouldn’t understand.

Because I’m a girl?!

No… because your brother’s the star of the team. And from what I’ve heard… so were all your brothers. You’ve got no idea what it’s like being… average.

He made to stand, so she held out a hand to delay him.

Take me… then you can see what it’s like. If people give you crap, then you can just leave. You won’t even have to bother with me. I’ll get a ride home with someone else.

So… you’re not expecting it to be a date?

Of course not. Once we’re there, you shouldn’t have to feel like hanging around me… if you don’t want to.

He rose quickly, turning around to face her.

So that’s what this was all about. He swept an arm over the pile she was still sitting on. Gina… what the hell’s wrong with you?! I mean… I’ve known you to be a wild one… but this… this is fucked up!

What?! You’re saying you didn’t enjoy yourself?!

It’s got nothing to do with that and you know it! I’ve… always liked you… but now… He took a step away… and just had to give her a little wag of the head. Sort of like what Dad did whenever she screwed up. Sure… I’ll take you… but after that… we’re done.

He left for the locker room before she could add something like ‘fine by me’. She got up, purposing to take the long way around the lockers so as not to pass him by. But before leaving the laundry room, she took one last look at where she had been laying… more to face what had happened than to make a memory of it. On the canvas bag where her rear had been was a small spot of red wetness. Staring at it, she could not describe the feeling coming over her. Not embarrassment… or shame… or anything lame like that. It was more a sense of… disappointment.

I’m never doing that again. Not with a boy. Next time… it’ll be a man.

The whole drive over, she offered nothing meaningful to him. She knew he wanted to talk about what had happened in the locker room, but she cut him off each time he tried. He was a guy, and guys were not supposed to share their feelings about something like sex. As for her, she was saving everything for Roxy.

She was pretty sure where they were going, but had never been there before… and was not all that good with directions anyway. Her only experience behind the wheel was in Driver’s Ed... which had been pretty tame. All she knew for certain was that they were heading northwest on Route 20 toward Granby, seeing as Dad sometimes drew the circuit between there and Bradley.

Without explanation, Lattimore turned into a narrow lane. Ahead in the distance was a huge bonfire surrounded by a mess of cars. At a gate leading into this field was a guy she had seen a couple times around school. Lattimore pulled up beside him and rolled down the window. The guy extended a bucket their way.

Ten bucks each... no exceptions.

He’s paying for me.

Leaning over to pull out his wallet, Lattimore shot her a nasty glare, clearly evident in the dashboard lighting. He still dropped bills into the bucket for them both. He then followed a rutted path through the snow to where tracks veered off right and left around the huge fire. Kids were already dancing about that blaze to the tune of some country western song blaring from someone’s boom box. Itching for some of that action, she first needed to shed herself of Lattimore, get a beer and find Roxy.

Opening her door to get out, she was startled by him gripping her arm.

You’re going to freeze your ass off with just that windbreaker.

You needn’t worry about me. I’ll stay close to the fire. Well… umm… see you over there… and thanks for the ride.

Trudging her way on a run through the ankle-deep snow, she should have worn boots rather than sneakers. Her feet were already getting wet. Soon enough, that would not matter. She made directly for a truck bed in which a couple guys were working the pump on a keg. Snatching up a Solo cup, she had it being filled before the one on the tap noticed her.

Hey… aren’t you Tony’s kid sister?

Tony who? I don’t know no Tony. Just keep filling.

Half foam and half beer was fine for the first one. Stepping aside, she downed the liquid, gulped the froth and was right back in line for more. This time, she held the cup at a tilt, lifting it right up against the nozzle so as to maximize the beer. She drank that one down too, then got another refill. Now it was time to find Roxy… and do some serious partying!

She was halfway around the circle, lifting her cup for anyone willing to bump theirs against hers, when she spotted them. It had not occurred to her until now that finding Roxy meant finding Tony too… but there they were leaning on the hood of Mom’s car, nuzzling together. The best approach was to get it over with… and in no way be intimidated by a brother. So she finished the rest of her beer and pitched the cup into the fire. Latching onto the nearest guy at hand, she allowed him to swing her around by grips at her waist, spinning off to fling herself into a stance directly before the lovebirds.

Hey, guys! Waz up?

Perhaps they already had a beer buzz on, for both stood there in a stupor. Not waiting for her brother to react, she grabbed Roxy by the wrist and pulled her away.

We need to talk, woman to woman.

She dragged Roxy around back of the car. Deciding that spot was not private enough, she led her further into the semi-dark behind someone’s van. Only then did Roxy manage to speak.

Oh, Gina… you’re in such trouble! Tony said this might…

Forget Tony. I’ve got something to tell you. Something really big! She paused for a suspenseful buildup… though Roxy just stood there wagging her head. I did it. I actually did it!

Did what?

Had sex!

She counted one… two… three… four… five… before Roxy’s face changed… yet not in the way she expected.

This isn’t funny, Gina. Tony’s going to be in deep shit because of you. He swore to your parents that you’d be…

Roxy! Are you even listening to me?! I’m no longer a virgin!

What?! What’re you babbling about?! Of course you’re a virgin! You’d have to…

I did it… with Lattimore in the locker room right after the game.

No… you’re… you’re messing with me. I can tell. You’d… you’d never do that. Not with someone like him… and not without… without asking me for advice first.

Don’t get all squeamish on me! You have no idea how nauseating it’s been hearing you go on and on about your first time with my brother! God… it’s like… having to see him naked!

But, Gina… that’s different. Tony and I… we’re in love. We’d never…

Get over it! You two were banging each other long before…

Don’t you dare!

Roxy spun around and stomped off through the snow.

Her hard words were true, though it was probably the alcohol speaking them. Roxy would come to understand that later. For now, she had her first ever field party to experience… and a whole lot more drinking to dull her mind. Without knowing how, she was back at the beer truck with a new cup in hand. Shouting… and singing… and dancing in the slush about the bonfire. With everyone else, she cursed the refs and the other team… cursed Lattimore for his shitty play… and cursed this puny state everybody could not wait to escape from. What made her do it, she could not say… other than everyone here deserved a better view of her than ground level could provide. Climbing up someone’s tail gate, she stood in a wobbly stance atop the minivan and proclaimed herself the queen of the party. There followed boos and claps from the many blurred-out faces below, all of which blended together into a chorus of praise. She was at the top of it all.

Then the world came crashing down as some guy swept her legs out from under her. With a heavy thud only dully registered, she was on her rump atop the minivan. With hardly a pause, the same guy yanked her off into the snow.

You crazy bitch! Stay the fuck off my ride!

Where her cup of beer had gone, she could not say. So she raised an imaginary one in his honor.

Oww… Izz salutz you… mize loyal-ist-ez of subject-ez-ez.

Somehow, her pretend toast made the guy fall face-first into the snow beside her. So weird, he actually seemed to be knocked out cold.

Tony then came out of nowhere.

Nobody fuckin’ messes with my sister!

Toe-neee! Mize knightz in shinnez armor-zis-zis… ‘cept… yooz ain’t got no armorz on. Tony… yooz… nake-it! Ha… I’z tellin’ everyonez yooz toe-da-leez nake-itz!

Shut the fuck up, you stupid idiot!

The way he moved… super-fast… it made her head spin so bad that her guts came boiling up her throat. Except… it was down her throat, as she found herself lifted over his shoulder.

I’m taking you home.

To de castle, mize lee-sure… mize lee-thal… mize… mize… wazever. Waiz… Izz gotz it. Mize liege! Datz it. Onward, mize liege-err-leenezz!

He dropped her into the backseat of some car. Their family car. Even with double vision, she easily recognized where she had sat smackdab between Tony and Fave for so many years. This was not good. Being here suddenly brought a horrible feeling to her gut.

Tony… I gotta… I gotta…

Fearing to put any more words out, she lurched forward to the open door and got her face over the edge just as her insides came churning up her throat. Out came a burning stream to stain the snow below.

Get it all out… because I’m sure as hell not cleaning up the mess if you puke in Mom’s car.

Though disgusting, the aftertaste somehow cleared her head.

You done?

I think so…

Then scoot over.

But I wanna go back…

You ain’t going nowhere except home. Drive, Roxy.

She was thrown forward as the car lurched to the rear… and there was sweet Roxy looking at her from the driver’s seat.

Roxy… baby… what a party! Did you see me up there on that…

Shut the fuck up, Gina. Roxy’s in no mood to hear any of your bullshit… and neither am I.

Perhaps Tony was right, for Roxy turned away without giving her one of those sweet smiles. She felt the car jolt forward, sliding a bit in the snow… or maybe it was just her head. A sharp turn tipped her into the non-Tony side of the backseat. She felt his hand come to her shoulder, pinning her down. So there she stayed… as the hum of the car and the hum of her head blended together into nothingness. More twists and turns… stops and starts… but no more words from either Tony or Roxy.

Even before Tony said it, she somehow knew they were home.

Get out. I’m walking you to the door… but I’m not going in with you. You’re on your own for that.

Slouching out of the backseat, she felt like a ton of bricks and needed all of Tony’s help reaching the porch. There, she heard him jingle something like chimes, but could not quite figure out what he was doing.

It’s unlocked… so go on in. I’m taking Roxy home. Thanks for ruining the party for us.

She was going to say ‘you’re welcome’… except Roxy appeared out of nowhere, whispering something to Tony… who left for the car.

Gina… if you can… be sure to have a hot bath before bed. It’ll help a lot. And maybe take some ibuprofen too. We’ll talk about this when you’re… better. Good night.

Somehow, that made her feel warm on the inside. Her best friend was putting her to bed. Except… Roxy was heading back down the walk. They were leaving her. In disbelief, she watched Roxy get into the car as Tony started it up. Yet he did not immediately pull away, rolling down his window first.

No tricks, Gina! Get in the house now!