House of HR: A Pakistani American woman’s journey navigating the international corporate world of Human Resources

By Meher Sheikh

House of HR is a debut book containing Meher’s personal narrative of the trials and triumphs she’s experienced and the lessons she’s learned as a Pakistani, and now American, woman navigating the international corporate world of Human Resources. Through this book, she hopes to offer powerful encouragements and living proof that regardless of the challenges life sends your way, if you keep a sharp mind, a resilient heart, and a humble spirit, you too can turn your dreams into reality.

Born in Pakistan in the 1970s, Meher grew up in a predominantly patriarchal society where custom dictated that females suppress ambitions for higher education and professional employment in favor of a traditionally subordinate domestic role. But, contrary to cultural expectations, Meher dreamed of a life of fierce independence and unbounded professional achievement from a very young age. Today, her success as an international Human Resources professional and now as an entrepreneur against all odds is so miraculous, that she feels compelled to reach out to other aspiring men and women.

She shares her experiences and tips for success through the lens of the Human Resources function. In your life, you are either an employee or an employer. The department of Human Resources is the bridge that connects and builds a compatible relationship between the respective livelihoods of the employer and employee. In our busy everyday lives, we don’t have enough time to completely understand how the world of HR works so we can use it to our advantage. Meher wanted to develop something simple and short, but with inclusive topics that would make a difference in an employee’s work life, and at the same time, give the employer some interesting ideas.

Her narrative will provide you with a deep understanding of the various functions of HR using the analogy of a house. In this book, we will walk through the House of HR together with Meher. As she walks you through the “House of HR” and its rooms, or functional areas, she shares fundamental principles and relevant knowledge that she has accumulated over her 18-year career. The chapters you will read in this book are for educational purposes and are laid out in story arrangements embedded with her professional and personal key learnings. Interwoven into the lessons are practical strategies for navigating the corporate world and inspiring stories of courage and perseverance.

Meher’s life was full of challenges and failures that stand alongside her successes. She has felt the fear of failure, and she wants to tell the reader, it’s all right to be rejected and to fail, it's all right to be imperfect, it’s all right to be afraid. The only thing that matters is to keep living, to keep going, and to keep moving forward. Meher took her failures in her stride and saw them as learning opportunities, After reading this book, she prays you will feel motivated to fearlessly pursue your most profound aspirations and knows your deeper comprehension of HR will provide a sense of empowerment along the way. Her purpose is not only to educate you, but also to strengthen and protect your heart, as the heart houses your spirit, your motivations, and your fears.

I hope you enjoy this unique American Pakistani woman’s journey through the House of Human Resources.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Gatekeeper Press
• Release date: Jan 11, 2022
• ISBN: 9781662921551

Book preview

My Foundation

Here I share my journey to become a professional in the world of Corporate Human Resources.

THE DREAM THAT BUILDS CHARACTER

On a beautiful spring afternoon, when the skies of Lahore, Pakistan were covered with kites, I was sitting in an Organizational Behavior class as part of my MBA program when it dawned on me that organizations exist because of people. As the kites soared, this realization opened the door to the world of Human Resources and to the possibilities of personal growth. I have always had a keen observation toward people and their behaviors, and a passion for observing how they co-exist and how I can connect with them. That’s how I finally discovered a way that I could turn this into a suitable career for myself.

This period of my life was complicated and overwhelming because I was not following cultural norms and expectations, including its timelines and traditions. But now, I could finally relieve this tension by declaring a direction for my existence. And it meant I could pursue a subject I loved as a profession!

You would think that finding your passion and direction would be enough, but that’s where the struggle begins. Many are fortunate to discover their passion, but holding onto it can be difficult when inevitable and unanticipated challenges emerge. Staying the course long enough to overcome these challenges can discourage many people from following their dreams, visions, and purpose and making it their reality.

Fulfilling a dream takes focus and discipline, and that’s what builds character. How intensely do you want your dreams to become a reality? You must ignite your passion, draw inspiration from within, and establish a vision to build the focus, perseverance, and commitment to sustain yourself.

My story is about passion taking flight through both pain and progression, which occurs naturally in pursuit of a dream, and in turn, helps build the character required to fulfill it.

THE LANDSCAPE AROUND ME

Lahore—a city full of history, customs, culture, and talent—is where I was born. It is the capital city of Punjab, one of the four provinces of Pakistan. A unique city that enjoys five seasons: spring, summer, monsoon, fall, winter It is one of the most diverse and ancient cities of the world. Today, it presents itself as a cosmopolitan with a traditional charm—a city of color, music, fun, food, shopping, and lots of entertainment. It is also culturally, ethnically, geographically, and linguistically diverse. Lahore is a hub for agriculture, small-scale industry or business, manufacturing, and publishing industries, and has a distinguished literary scene. It is known for its celebrated academic institutions and is home to Pakistan’s art, fashion, and film industries. An urban forest that knows no day and night . . . I miss it!

Despite the perception of the outside world, present-day Pakistan has a relatively softer and encouraging view on women’s rights as compared to when I began to explore the professional world. However, during the time I was growing up, the social and political climate in Pakistan did not support the growth of capable and independent women in any sphere.

Pakistan became a free nation on August 14, 1947. In the 1950s and 1960s, it was progressive and contemporary. Tourism, manufacturing, technology, art, fashion, and theater were booming. Society was inclusive of women, and women’s education and independence were an important part of life.

In the late 1970s and 1980s, the government imposed a dualistic system regarding diversity and education, thus changing the social and political climate for decades to come. Discriminatory legislation against women was implemented in 1979 under the Hudood Ordinance, banning women from all walks of life. All fundamental rights—once guaranteed in the Constitution—were absolved, including the right to be free of discrimination and subordination based upon gender.

From that point on, society regressed and made it difficult for women to seek higher education and practice a profession freely. However, this varied drastically between the urban and rural classes. In many cases, there were even acts of violence against women that were supported by society, but this also depended significantly on socioeconomic factors.

In the affluent classes, life was more fortunate, and education was a means for women to marry well and maintain their position in society. Many upper-class girls would at least graduate high school and get married. Men typically avoided marrying women who were pursuing careers, as having a wife at home was a status symbol.

The lower classes did not deem it necessary for their women to get an education. Those unfortunate, innocent, and often frightened women were expected to provide services to their fathers and brothers, and then to their husbands for the rest of their lives. Their sole purpose was to raise families, work as domestic helpers or in the agricultural sector, and contribute financially to keep their stoves burning.

With the rigid and openly biased educational, political, and social environment, it was difficult for a female to receive an education in the first place, let alone to advance her studies and choose a professional career. Most women did not have a choice in assuming traditional female roles, as they were often prohibited from working outside the home.

For those who were able to pursue an education and a career, their opportunities were far more limited than their male counterparts. They routinely received less compensation than men for equal work. The occupational choices were limited to teaching and medicine; they were considered the only noble professions for women to practice.

The Hudood Ordinance sent Pakistan into a downward spiral to overcome gender inequality that lasted for decades, and to date, we are bearing the consequences of that law. In 1988, a female Prime Minister was elected, changing the game in political and social circles across the globe. She voiced her desire to address women’s social issues and discrimination; however, none of the laws could be repealed as the Constitution was protected, but she pushed boundaries and stood tall among the giants, giving Pakistani women a voice that mattered.

Fast forward to the 1990s and 2000s—the societal mindset progressed very little, but women fought for their rights and slowly entered the workforce, making their presence felt in the socio-political scene. A consensual marriage and divorce were still taboo, and families were socially outcasted if they did not conform to traditional norms. During this time, there were efforts to change family laws and education to be more favorable toward women.

As the years passed, the government was forced to include women in the legislative planning process. The laws that dictated capital punishment for adultery and fornication for women under the Hadood Ordinance were eased and contested as more women made their way into legal circles and other professions. Women’s rights were then recognized by women themselves, not by the law at large.

Once again, education for women was highlighted and considered necessary. It took many years of debate and reconsideration for the Women’s Protection Bill of 2006 to revise and re-establish much of the status and power that women had in the early years of the nation. Currently, educated and professional women are in demand, and divorce does not carry the stigma it once did. In today’s world, Pakistani women are enjoying a more prominent status than before.

Most women adapted to the more oppressive culture before the Women’s Protection Bill, but some women, including myself, aspired to experience the possibility of their vision despite the odds laid against by society.

The social and cultural circle saw me as a curse—initially—to their value system, which later turned to appreciation as they considered me among a small percentage of women who managed to defeat the odds and become a woman of substance and character, as ordained by the heavens.

MY ROOTS AND MY FAMILY

I find that we don’t always appreciate our parents or family often enough, but they are so integral to who we are that it is worth doing. Our families shape us, and I want to pay tribute to mine.

My mother was the only girl in a family with four brothers. She grew up in the late 1950s and 1960s and was blessed to receive an excellent education. She is a woman of exceptional beauty, personality, and intellect. She is virtuous and gentle, yet strong. My mother carries herself with poise and grace and handles difficult situations with dignity, honor, and courage. She is modern in her thinking, yet modest in her behavior. During her time as a mother and wife, she fostered the emancipation of women in our home while nurturing and guiding my younger sister and me. She had the same dream for all her children, and her vision was exemplary for her era.

Typical of many mother-daughter relationships, we did not see eye-to-eye on some choices and circumstances, yet we agreed on more than many. I have learned, valued, and acted on her advice for years and it hasn’t failed me yet. She cultivated my inner talents by enriching me through the arts and sports, and she always supported my educational pursuits against cultural resistance. Because of her guidance, my siblings and I are well educated and living around the world with our families. I am forever grateful for the example she set and the values she instilled in me.

My father is a successful and seasoned businessman. He loves his family and has always wanted the best for his children. However, he was imbued with the traditional habits and customs of our society, which made him somewhat indifferent—if not insensitive—to the difficulties women have faced. I was what you might refer to as his initiation to parenthood. As a child and a young adult, I sought a life of normalcy, and his traditional values complicated my aspirations and journey.

As a woman and child in Pakistan, I often did things that displeased him. I would sometimes wear jeans and mingle with the male crowd without realizing how big these simple choices would impact his patience. He highly disapproved of this behavior due to social norms and peer pressure. My education was not his priority but that did not mean he was not concerned about providing means and resources for it. I believe he did not think a woman of my background needed to gain professional validation in the form of a degree, only to marry well in society.

However, his narrative changed after becoming a father to his own daughters. He became very understanding and sympathetic toward women and became a supporter of women’s rights in our society. He evolved to become my biggest motivator, and—according to him—I grew up to be his biggest inspiration. His views have now been transformed and he openly challenges the outdated norms of Pakistani society by supporting me and other women in every aspect of life. He is a strong promoter of women’s rights and works in his surroundings to support women’s education and employment. I am very blessed to have such a loving and supportive father who saw me as I saw myself and even more.

Investing in your siblings can create one of the most powerful circles of support. It takes sacrifice, unconditional love, and forgiveness